


Our Dreams Have Grown Apart

by nekojita



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, F/F, F/M, Levi is NOT an asshole, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Lives, additional characters to appear later, good parenting, messages via baked goods, people seeing different things, take on soulmates, there's a reason for things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:16:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 115,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6095725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekojita/pseuds/nekojita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is born with a mark on their upper chest that will eventually become a name. A name of someone who was important to them in a past life. It can be a loved one, a family member, a best friend, a 'soul mate'. Someone of significance in that past life and also in their current one - be it romantic or platonic. But someone of 'significance' can also be someone who hurt you, who tore you apart physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Someone you've wanted to have another life just for a chance at revenge. There's always two sides to a coin, and bearing a name doesn't always mean a happy ending.</p><p>Levi and Eren bear each other's names. Levi has waited over half his life to meet Eren, to meet the man he believes to be his long-lost lover. What happens when their paths cross... and Eren's dreams have led him to believe that Levi's 'name' is one of those that is a curse to bear?</p><p>Now Complete</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know, another fic from me. I shouldn't, I'm getting other things lined up when I saw a tumblr prompt on soul mates (cindymoon started a thread about having your enemy's name instead of your soulmate and that basically jumpstarted this plot bunny) and whammo. This really shouldn't be a monster fic, I've got it plotted out and it should be shorter chapters than usual (HA! famous last words). But yeah, something different from me so we'll see how it goes.

*******

“A boy – ha, a healthy one, you hear him?” Dr. Alvara laughed as he handed the baby to Grisha, who waited near his colleague with evident impatience and a soft towel to wrap and clean their son; beside Karla, Rosanne smiled and wiped at her sweaty face before pushing at a button on one of the many beeping instruments off to the side then stepped out of the way.

“Grisha, bring him here,” Karla insisted as she held out her arms. “I want to see him!” She frowned with concern at the way her baby cried and wanted to hold him, to make sure he was all right.

“One moment.” He did something to the baby, to *Eren*, their son, and then hurried over with a wide grin on his face. “Nothing wrong with those lungs, yes?” His smile softened as their hands overlapped around the squirming bundle. “You… I love you,” he whispered as tears glimmered in his eyes.

“You better,” she whispered back, her body one huge ache which she all but forgot as she pulled her son against her chest. “Oh. *Oh*.” Yes, this was what had made it all worthwhile, this bundle of perfection, the red scrunched up face and tiny balled fists, the wet strands of dark hair she stroked with a shaking finger. Thick lashes fluttered as he opened his eyes, his screams faltering as he gave her a bleary stare with dark blue eyes, and she felt her heart batter against her chest as something so intense, something so primitive tore through her. “Hey you. You’re Eren, you know.”

He hiccupped again as she loosened the towel to look him over, to stroke more of that soft, perfect skin. Ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers, and… and a wavy, black scroll on the left side of his collarbone, so small that it looked like a smudge of ink left behind by a careless swipe.

“Karla, give him back to me for a few minutes,” Grisha urged. “There’s still the afterbirth and you need to be cleaned up.” He held out his hands while Rosanne and Dr. Alvara approached the bottom of the bed to position themselves between her spread feet.

She sighed as she rewrapped the towel around her son. “Okay.” Just a few more minutes and she could have him back then could rest. As Grisha held on to Eren once more, she wondered what that smudge would become in the next dozen years or so, what name it would form – it wouldn’t be a long one, that much was evident. She just hoped that Eren would be as lucky as she had been and that it would be the name of someone he loved.

*******

When a person was born, they would bear a mark on their upper chest, a pattern of black lines much like loose scrollwork which would one day form the name of another person. The timing of that revelation was individual to each person, but usually occurred in childhood - for most around puberty - but it wasn’t unheard of for people to start dreaming of their ‘other’ in early childhood or while on the cusp of adulthood. At first there had been talk of ‘soulmates’, of finding one’s inamorata… and that was true for some people. The name *could* be that of one’s true love. But that was only part of what the name signified, and too simple a way to describe its significance. The name was a way to identify someone of importance, be it good or bad, someone of influence in a past life in such a way that they would continue to do so in the next.

Sometimes that person was a lover, someone who was meant to be found again and again. They could be someone who was that other half, someone who was needed so much, who was the ultimate security, was the missing part, the best friend – it did not have to be a romantic or sexual partner at all. Sometimes it was a family member, the ties of blood so strong that they were to be reunited in each new life.

Sometimes it was a warning. Sometimes it was a name of the person who was avoid at any cost, or a brand to signify a debt owed, a revenge that was to be carried on well past death. Some people craved to meet the person bearing the name inked across their chest for the love and comfort they would bring, and some for the peace or resolution to their pain. As for others, they hoped to never meet their ‘other half’. It was because of those people that there was no more talk of soulmates, and no questions asked about the name on someone’s chest. Those who were one of the lucky ones might share their joy with their close friends, with the people they knew whom were similarly ‘blessed’, but that was it. Life wasn’t all about blessings and happiness, and some people… some were all too thankful to have a warning in this life to spare them the pain of the past.

*******

There was Momma at the bottom of the slide, the fun slide, the one Eren always loved to go down when at the big tree park because it was so fast and tall and he felt like he was flying and Momma was always there with her arms open wide like right now. She laughed as she caught him, so warm and pretty and she smelled so good, smelled like chocolate and spices, like the cake she had made when Papa had gone away and then come back tired yet smiling and had hugged Eren and Momma as if he would never let them go. Had come back with the stuffed dog that growled and barked and flipped over when Eren clapped his hands so it wasn’t so bad, Papa being gone even if Eren and Momma had been so sad.

But Momma wasn’t sad now, Momma was happy and smiling and laughing as she hugged Eren so close, as he hugged her back with his fingers tangled in her soft hair. “One more time, yes?”

“Yes, Momma.” He smiled as she lifted him up and put him on the ladder, and he laughed as he climbed the rest of the way, such a big boy, his momma’s big boy, until he stood up so high over everything at the top. Only a little afraid at being so high, he sat down then waited as he’d been told, waited until Momma was at the bottom of the slide to push off, happy that there weren’t any other kids around for once to yell at him to go, to shove him out of the way. As soon as he saw her, he pushed off, laughing once more as the wind rushed by-

Only Momma wasn’t there anymore, and the soft sand was gone, the green grass and trees and bright swings and- it was all gone. Eren found himself kneeling on cold stone, only… only he wasn’t himself. Something was wrong, his body was wrong, was bigger, was odd and he *hurt*. He wanted to cry from the confusion, from the pain and the strangeness, but all that came out was a snarled sound.

Momma was gone, the park was gone, and all these strange people were there, people with no faces, people who sat in boxes and made angry buzzing noises, like scary bees that chased after Eren and made him afraid. He wanted to run away, to go find Momma, but he was on his knees and his arms – his arms were behind him, with something cold and hard around his wrists. He wanted to cry, to run away, but the cold heavy things kept him in place, and the angry buzzing continued around him as the faceless people moved about, the noise louder and louder as he continued to pull at whatever kept him in place, kept him from running away, kept him from Momma and Papa and-

Then someone came near him, someone who wasn’t faceless, someone in some weird white and brown clothes. At first he hoped that the person was Papa, or maybe Uncle Jorge or Bren’s papa, but it wasn’t them, was someone with dark hair and-

Pain. Eren felt pain, so much pain, worse than when he’d fallen out of Papa’s car because he been bad and unbuckled the straps and… oh it hurt. He found himself, the weird ‘himself’ forced to look up at the bad man who’d just hurt him, at grey eyes staring down at him and then his face was shoved down onto the hard floor. Strange emotions tore through him, pain and confusion and… and – he didn’t know what, just knew that-

*******

Noise. There was a noise from Eren’s room. Grisha groaned as he tugged the warm duvet higher and, half-awake, wondered whose turn it was to check up on the boy. Beside him, Karla mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘checked last night’ before she rolled over onto her left side.

Wondering why it seemed that Eren always woke up thirsty or spooked or needing to go the bathroom when Grisha had early rounds at the hospital, Grisha groaned again and was working up the will to push back the duvet and get out of the very warm and comfortable bed when there was a loud, piercing wail. His and Karla’s reactions were instantaneous – the duvet ended halfway on the carpeted floor as they leapt from the bed at almost the same time, Karla somehow beating him to the door as they raced to their son’s room.

She ran right to Eren’s bed while he flipped on the light, and they found Eren huddled beneath his bright red duvet as that horrible, heart-rending sound continued. Karla hovered for a couple of seconds after she pulled the bedding aside before she settled next to Eren and then gathered him into her arms while she murmured his name.

Grisha sat down next to them and stroked his left hand over Eren’s forehead, worried about the sweat and heat pouring off of his son, along with the frantic pulse and labored breathing. This didn’t seem like a simple nightmare, especially when Eren didn’t waken right away.

“Eren, sweetie, it’s okay, we’re here.” There was a note of panic to Karla’s voice as she clutched Eren to her while her hands stroked along his back. “Come on, sweetie, wake up.” She jostled him a little, and all of a sudden the wailing stopped; Eren shuddered all over as if shocked, his eyes so dilated that only a thin ring of teal blue could be seen.

“Honey, let me see him,” Grisha urged, and Karla handed over their son after a few seconds with obvious reluctance. Eren’s temperature was definitely elevated, and even awake his heart-rate was still accelerated; it felt as if Grisha held a captured animal and not a child. He made a soothing noise as he brushed back the damp, dark strands falling onto Eren’s face and noticed how the boy was still out of it. “Eren, can you tell me what happened? What made you so scared?” He had to repeat the first question before Eren looked at him, his motions sluggish and tiny hands clenched in the worn t-shirt Grisha wore to bed.

“Buh-bad man.” Eren snuggled closer to Grisha as if seeking comfort. “There was a bad man being mean to me.”

Grisha shared a worried look with his wife before she reached for the colorful top to Eren’s pajamas, which was soaked with the boy’s sweat. “Do you know this bad man? Have you seen him before?” Grisha felt as if he’d been punched when the top was tugged down enough to reveal that the black whorls on Eren’s chest had changed at some point between his son’s bath earlier that night and now to spell out the name ‘Levi’.

“No,” Eren mumbled as he rubbed at his face with his right hand. “Bad man,” he repeated, sounding tired and cranky.

Karla traced the name with a trembling finger and shook her head. “He’s too young – he’s not even five yet,” she whispered.

Yes, too young… especially if the name was one of ‘those’, was one meant to warn. Grisha clutched Eren against him for several seconds as he fought against the urge to yell, to lash out, to… he wanted to protect his son, to spare him from the pain, any pain. Whoever this ‘Levi’ was, he could only hope that he found him before Eren did.

He forced himself to loosen his hold on his son, who had made a sleepy, grumpy sound at the tight embrace. “It’s… not unheard of,” he admitted. “Maybe… maybe something feels he needs to be… forewarned.” He winced at the flash of fury which crossed his wife’s face; this ‘Levi’ would never be a threat to Eren if Karla had her way. “Take Eren and give him a bath, make it cool to help with his temperature,” he urged his wife. “I’ll make up his bed then bring you some clean clothes for him.”

“All right.” Karla gathered up a sleepy Eren and left the room, her demeanor so protective that Grisha wouldn’t be surprised if Eren ended up in their bed for the rest of the night.

*******

Eren sighed as he sat up in bed and grabbed his phone, which he thumbed along the touchscreen to turn off the alarm. Dammit, he’d been having one of ‘those’ dreams when it had gone off, something about the bastard and ‘responsibility’ and – he groaned as he dropped the phone onto the side of the bed and rubbed his left collarbone through his white t-shirt.

It never was a good sign when the day started off one of ‘those’ dreams, dammit, and on a day when he had to work early. Allowing himself a few more seconds to wallow in misery, he then forced himself to get out of bed and get ready for the day; he had the opening shift at the Rose Bakery before his classes, and not much time for a shower and a quick bite to eat. At least an energy bar should hold him over until the first batch of donuts or croissants were out; one of the benefits of working at a bakery was that there was always something to eat.

It didn’t take long to get ready, one of the few perks of being a university student was that much wasn’t expected of him on that end, and soon enough he was out the door. Another perk of being a university student – well, one with supportive parents – was having an apartment close to both work and campus, so he could walk or bike to work and class. Since he wasn’t running late this morning, he left the bike at home and enjoyed the early spring weather, despite the fact that it was still dark.

Ymir had beat him to the bakery, but it looked as if not by much as she was still turning things on and hadn’t set out anything yet. “What, no hot date last night?” he called out as he hung up his coat and grabbed one of the clean aprons, then pulled the cap he wore to keep his hair out of the way from his backpack.

Busy starting up the ovens, Ymir paused to give him the finger even as she grinned. “Oh it was hot all right, but Krista has a big test today so it was an early night.” She fussed with the oldest of the ovens, the one that always needed a little more attention than the others, before saying anything else. “You wanna deal with the croissants today?”

“Eh, why not?” They took a little more attention than the donuts and so should help him focus on something other than the dream; Eren shrugged as he finished tying the apron and then went to grab the necessary ingredients. “Who else is opening?” Hadn’t Craig said something about switching or giving up shifts until he finished his thesis?

“Shadis is the manager on shift today, Becky should be here any minute while Connie’s scheduled in another half an hour, and Annie when we open.”

Great, so that was two people from the ‘true love’ club, on a day when Eren wasn’t in the mood for a bunch of sappiness; at least Ymir never brought up about Eren’s ‘other half’, but Connie could be rather clueless for an otherwise clever guy. Both him and Sasha didn’t seem to realize that Eren wasn’t looking for his ‘special someone’ for a good reason….

His hand rising to rub at his chest again, Eren forced it to grab at the boxes of butter instead. Focus on work, and then worry about the class on abnormal psychology instead – it had been a couple of weeks since Professor Morinello had sprung a surprise quiz on them, so one was due at any moment. Eren knew for a fact that there wasn’t any student at Trost University who matched the bastard’s appearance - he’d combed through the profiles of everyone named ‘Levi’ and none of their pictures had matched the images in his dreams, so he was fine for the time being. So worry about getting the baked goods done before Shadis started yelling, and then maybe review his ab psych notes while on break. Worry about what you can control, as his father always reminded him. Because the world is too big and life too unpredictable, and you’ll scare people away looking like some frowning madman, as his mother loved to add on. Smiling as he thought about his parents, Eren left the cooler with his arms full and a lightened attitude.

*******

Levi was running late thanks to some asshole who appeared to be afraid to get anywhere near the speed limit when his work phone rang; figuring it was someone wondering where the hell he was, he answered it. “Ten more minutes, I’m behind someone who thinks their gas pedal is the fucking brake.”

“Oh, great, so you’re still on the way to work? Any chance you’re near Tenth Street and Baum?”

Well fuck a chainsaw, it was Hange. Levi resisted the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel and sighed instead. “About four blocks away and – dammit, now I’m stuck at a red light. What do you want? If it’s to tell me your laptop’s fried because you clicked another phishing link, I will shove your hard-drive up your ass.”

Hange laughed at the threat as if he wouldn’t carry it out, and she really should know better. “Nah, Moblit goes through my inbox first now just in case. Just a reminder that there’s the big staff meeting today and it seems no one thought to warn you that it’s your turn to pick up the snacks.”

“Hange-“

“Nope, don’t ‘Hange’ me,” his personal tormenter continued. “Petra probably let it slip because of how much a stink you made last time, but I’m not about to sit through two hours of Erwin droning on about financials and yearly outlook and ‘blah blah don’t use prototypes or test serums on the interns, it’s bad form’ without at least three éclairs in me, understood?” As the rant went on, Hange’s voice took on an almost hysterical note so Levi figured he might as well give in with some sort of – he might as well give in. The head of research could be a righteous pain in the ass to deal with when she got bored and her sugar levels dropped… and her seat at staff meetings was next to his.

“Fine, I’ll pick something up. Should be a damn store or something near here,” he grumbled as the light finally turned green.

“Yay!” Hange’s shout of joy crackled over the speakers of his Mercedes AMG, something which should NOT happen consider the quality of the sound system. “And don’t bother with some cheap grocery donuts, the Rose Bakery is right near where you should be – corner of Tenth and Baum. It’s where we always get our stuff, including those chocolate croissants you love.”

He was about to tell her to go fuck herself – she’d take whatever he brought in, but yeah, he did enjoy those croissants. “Fine. Give me half an hour.” At least it got him away from the asshole in front of him, he told himself as he cut off another of Hange’s loud cheers.

There was a small parking lot next to the bakery, and Levi managed to get a spot when another car pulled out; his sports car stood out a little, but the neighborhood was good enough that it shouldn’t be a problem leaving it there. As soon as he went inside, the delicious scent of baked goods hit him almost like a physical force; there was a hint of chocolate, a bit of spice and a definite tang of yeast. He took a deep breath to enjoy it then had to step out of the way of an older woman with a large bag in her left hand as she went out the door.

There were several display cases all around the front room, filled with a variety of cakes, breads, cookies and breakfast pastries. Levi went over to the one filled with croissants and what looked to be danishes so he could get the stuff for work and be on his way. Through the thick glass he noticed that there was someone on the other side, bent down and restocking the pastries; from what he could see, at least the employee had on some gloves.

“Uhm…?”

“Hi! One moment, let me finish and I’ll be right with you,” the person called out. Levi frowned, since for some reason the voice sounded familiar. Did he know anyone who worked as a baker? Wait, weren’t they called pastry chefs?

“Yeah, sure. Though I’ll be wanting some of those croissants there.”

The person on the other side of the display case stilled for a moment, and then there was a muttered curse before they stood up in a rush. The first impression Levi got was white and red – white from the baseball cap which bore a stylized rose from the bakery’s logo, and red from the flushed face of the young man as he stared at Levi over the high counter. Then Levi noticed the familiar wide teal eyes, the dark, thick eyebrows, the pert nose and stubborn mouth… hell, everything about that face was familiar, was one he’d seen in his dreams for the past seventeen years or more. “Eren, you’re Eren,” he breathed out as he rubbed his right hand along the name embellished across his left collarbone, hidden beneath the thin wool and fine cotton. “I’m-“

“Levi.” Eren’s eyes narrowed as he all but spat out the word. “You’re- I’m not.” He shook his head, his eyes shining with some intense emotion and the color fading from his sun-kissed skin except for the flushed spots on his cheeks. “Not this life, do you hear me? *Not* this fucking life!” He smacked his gloved hands onto the top of the counter before he spun around and charged into the back of the bakery.

Stunned by the violent reaction, Levi stood there for a couple of seconds before his brain kicked into gear. “Eren? Eren, what the fuck is going on?” He reached for the counter, ready to jump over it and race after the man whom a thousand dreams had shown to be his lover, to be the one person who had understood him, to be at his side – and just as he was about to swing up, someone else appeared from the back.

“Whoa, what the hell do you think you’re about to do?” A young woman with dark hair pulled back in a low ponytail and freckles all over her dark complexion held up her hands. “No customers behind the counters, dipshit.”

“I need to speak to Eren,” Levi ground out as he attempted to glance behind her to catch a glimpse of Eren. Dammit, that was the person he’d been waiting for more than half his life.

“Yeah, well, he’s not in the mood to talk to you. In fact, it’s a good idea for you to leave.” She made a shooing motion with her gloved right hand toward the door as if… as if he was a fucking pest or something.

“Fuck that shit – I’m here for some damn donuts *and* that’s my – look, I have his name.” Furious and confused as hell, Levi jerked aside his wool jacket and the lightweight sweater beneath it, and swore when he had to undo a couple of buttons of his dress shirt as well. “I’ve been looking for him for *years*, and he runs from me!” While he spoke, another employee, this one yet another kid with close-cropped hair, came forward to stand in the doorway as if to block it.

The young woman gave Levi’s chest a narrowed look before she shook her head. “So what if you have his name, it doesn’t mean shit if Eren says you’re someone to be avoided. You should know that.” She sounded as if she was talking to a stubborn child… or an idiot.

What the hell was going on here? Yeah, Levi knew that there were people out there whose names weren’t good things – his Uncle Kenny was one of them. But his dreams…. “We were *happy*,” he attempted to explain as the confusion won out at the moment, even though this person was a stranger.

Maybe it was that confusion, or his distress over this whole fucking mess – having the person he’d waited for over half his life run for him, having it happen in front of strangers at that – but the girl’s cold expression wavered. “Look, there’s nothing I can do when Eren refuses to see you.” She sighed as if she wanted the whole mess to go away. “So what the hell do you want – other than Eren?”

Sending another long look toward the back of the shop, Levi rubbed at his collarbone as he shook his head; he was half-tempted to screw the damn éclairs, but the longer he stayed, the better the chances that Eren might snap out of whatever the hell bout of insanity had taken over. So he pulled out his wallet and started pointing out things, mentally willing Eren to come out to talk to him all the while and explain what the hell was going on.

*******

Levi almost swung the large plastic bag containing the boxes of pastries at Petra – not so much to hit her, just as a means to motion her out of the way since she was between him and his office at the moment. “Cancel my meetings for the day,” he ordered as she stepped aside in a jerky motion, her hazel eyes wide and jaw dropping in surprise.

“But Levi – there’s the staff meeting and Erwin wants to-“

“*Cancel them*,” he repeated in a sharper tone as he stalked into his office and slammed the leather satchel which contained his laptop into his thankfully padded chair, followed by the damn pastries onto his desk. He shrugged off his wool coat to hang it up then sat down on the edge of his desk with his face buried in his hands as he thought about the… the fucking *mess* his morning had turned into, at how that brief flare of hope had crashed and burned so damn hard, when he really should have known-

A quick knock on his still open office door jerked his head up as he glared at the presumptuous idiot who dared to bother him just then. “Didn’t Petra tell you to fuck off?”

Hange shrugged as she sauntered into the room and closed the door behind her, then leaned against it, her white lab coat still clean – probably because it wasn’t much past nine in the morning. “Eh, she was squawking something about you being in a shitty mood, but when aren’t you?” When his glare went up a notch, the suicidal moron just grinned some more. “Come on, you’re not going to make me deal with Erwin at his most imperialness by myself, right? At least not without some sweet, sweet custard in me.” She made grabby motions at his desk as she crooned the last few words.

Despite his horrible mood, he found himself aghast at his friend’s antics. “You… you’re not really Zoe Hange, are you? One of those freakish test samples of yours killed you and took your place.” He cringed at the hint of drool on Hange’s face and inched away from the lunatic’s target – the boxed-up pastries.

“Ha! What gave me away, my inhuman behavior?” Hange grinned as she tugged the bag closer to her side of the desk.

“No, the fact that you’ve actually improved in that regard in the last few years.”

In the process of opening up the bag, Hange raised her head and pouted, her uneven dark brown bangs falling onto her grease-smeared glasses. “Ha, ha.” Then she smiled as her left hand rubbed along her collarbone, which was covered by a ratty light grey sweatshirt she wore beneath the lab coat. “Yeah, Moblit’s been a lifesaver.”

Mention of Hange’s assistant and platonic ‘other half’ brought back what had happened at the bakery and Levi’s dark mood; he shoved away from the desk and went to sit in his chair, this time careful to put his laptop bag down with less force. “Yeah, well, take your fucking calorie bombs with you and get out, and tell Petra to make sure no one comes in – I’m serious about no meetings today.” He dropped into the chair then fished out his laptop so he could power it on with the intent to lose himself in work for several hours… and realized that Hange hadn’t gotten the fucking hint by the time he’d logged on. “What? Get the hell out of here!”

Right hand resting on the stack of white boxes, Hange frowned as she stared at him from across the desk. “You’re serious, aren’t you? Why are you skipping the staff meeting? I mean, I know they’re boring as hell, but usually it’s a chance for us to make fun of Erwin for two hours.”

Levi clicked his tongue as he searched through his emails. “Yeah, such fun. I have a ton of shit to do, there’s a new virus out there I need to research, someone’s trying to be clever and get around the firewall because they don’t understand the concept of ‘security’, and-“

Hange leaned over the desk so she could peer at him over the edge of his laptop. “And that’s not much different from any other day for you.” She frowned as she dared to tap the top of his screen. “It doesn’t make you even more of an antisocial bastard, so spill.” When he looked up to scowl at her, she dared to smile. “Tell me or I’m skipping the meeting to hang out with you.”

“I can throw you out of here, you know.” He had lots of practice of doing just that, considering how much the pest loved to overstay her welcome.

“Ha! I’ll just have to break out the secret weapon!” She rushed back to the box of pastries and snapped at the thin cord which held it tied shut while Levi rose to his feet, then flipped open the lid. “Let’s see you stay all nice and clean if I’m smeared in… uhm, wow, okay, that’s… new. Huh. Are these special ordered or what?”

About to shove Hange out the door, Levi found himself curious despite himself and went to stand beside her so he could look inside the open box; nestled between sheets of thin waxed paper were the various pastries he’d told the girl back at the bakery to grab for him. There were some danishes that Irwin and Mike scoffed down upon sight, the apple fritters Petra adored, and Hange’s éclairs… except there was something written on two of them.

“’Fuck you’,” Hange said out loud. “And even a little frowny face with a tongue stuck out. Wow, is that a new service they’re offering or what?” She smiled at Levi, the expression slipping as he reached out to pick up one of the long donuts.

Somehow, he knew that the writing was Eren’s. He knew the kid must have done this when that freckled-face girl had gone back to get all of the pastries Levi had needed for his order since Eren had been in the process of restocking the display cases when Levi had shown up. Levi held the éclair in his left hand, something his… his ‘other half’ had touched, had possibly made, and rubbed at his collarbone with his right. Rubbed at the name that had been on his chest since he’d turned eleven years old, since the night he’d first dreamed of some young brat with blue-green eyes filled with rage and tears, so stubborn and impulsive and heartbreaking and beautiful.

“Levi? Uhm, are you going to eat that? I thought you didn’t like too-sweet things.”

He sighed as he set the pastry down on his desk and shook his head, his right hand pressed against his chest. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, I got that impression from the éclair.” Hange fell quiet for a few seconds and then sighed. “Okay, something is really wrong here – you just put food down on your precious cherry wood or whatever expensive ass desk without like, ten napkins first, and you look as if someone had shot your dog. Well, if you had a dog. A hypoallergenic, non-shedding, non-drooling dog.”

“Hange….”

“No.” There was a rustling sound as the boxes of pastries were shoved aside and then Hange shuffled closer. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at the bakery? I’ve never had a problem there, and I can’t imagine you let some kid give you any shit.”

Despite himself, a weak laugh slipped free as Levi shook his head. “You’d be surprised.” At his friend’s confused look, Levi shook his head. “I… found my….” He rubbed at the name hidden beneath his chest, his throat gone tight all of a sudden.

Still, Hange was more than bright enough to figure out what he meant. “You found your – wait, Eren, right?” She’d seen him without a shirt often enough to make out the name. “Oh Levi, that’s… uhm, not good?” About to give him a hug, she paused with her arms still outstretched. “Wait, why are you here? What’s the deal with the ‘fuck you’ and everything? You’ve been looking for him, right? It’s… it’s all good?”

“No, it’s not ‘all good’,” he snapped as he rubbed the fingers of his left hand together, the sugar glaze on the donut gritty beneath the tips. “He hates me, he fucking *hates* me.” All of the pain, anger and confusion that had been building inside of Levi for the past half an hour surged forth as he slashed his hand through the air. “I finally find him and he… he looked at me as if I was some sort of monster and told me to get the fuck out of his life. Literally.” He snatched up the damn donut and threw it at the closed door of his office, where it splattered bits of pastry and cream across the smooth wooden surface and surrounding pale grey walls. “He hated me,” he repeated as he dug his fingers around the hidden name with enough force for them to bite into his flesh despite the thin sweater and shirt.

Hange stared at the mess across the room for a couple of seconds before she gave him a wan smile. “Oh hon… it can’t be that.” She made as if to touch his arm before her fingers curled inward and she shook her head.

“Yeah? Well it certainly seems that way!” Realizing that he was shouting, Levi let out a slow breath and then clicked his tongue as he fetched the bottle of cleaning wipes stashed in his desk. “He told me something about ‘not this life’ and ran off, and his coworkers made it clear that he didn’t want to see me.” He slammed the drawer shut once he had several wipes in hand. “And you saw the lovely message he left me.”

Hange nodded as she opened up the box again and picked up the ‘you’ part of Eren’s little note. “It’s creative, I’ll give you that.” She held it up for a moment and then took a bite of the éclair, the insensitive creep that she was, and then moaned in delight. “Oooh an’ so tas’ee.” Of course she chewed with her mouth open.

“I hope he poisoned it,” Levi spat as he picked up the remains of the other éclair.

Hange smacked her lips before she swallowed. “Nahp… nope.” She smiled, her mouth smeared with chocolate and cream. “I did a study once, well, I did a study. Funny what you’ll do when you’re a thousand bucks short of the cash you need for those last few credits, but anyway, nothing too obvious in here and I doubt your snookums has access to anything fancy enough to be that subtle.”

Levi paused in cleaning up the mess to rub at his forehead. “Why do I know you?”

“Because I’m one of the few people who put up with you,” Hange answered without any hesitation, then took another bite of her snack. “Hmmm, yeah, soo guud.” There was more obscene smacking before she continued. “Your dreams – anything in them that would make Eren react like he did this morning?”

Done cleaning up the large bits, Levi frowned as he carried the filthy wipes over to his trash can. “It’s… it’s not perfect, what I can make out of… well, wherever we were. That life, you know.” He grimaced at the mess in his hands as he recalled the bits of the dreams that carried through to ‘reality’; all he could clearly remember was Eren, was his emotions for the young man, his appearance, his voice and a few conversations. The dreams showed you enough to know about the person whose name you bore and *why*, it didn’t give you a fucking dissertation of your past life. “I just know that things were hard, wherever we were, but it was better because we were… dammit, he shouldn’t hate me, all right?” He threw the trash into the can and glared at Hange, upset at talking about this shit, upset at the whole damn mess.

Done with the éclair, Hange rummaged through the box for another treat, her face a mess and expression thoughtful. “Maybe he got some memories of before you two were together or when you had a fight. You know sometimes a person’s perspective can influence things.”

Busy scrubbing clean the door, Levi paused to throw the dirty wipe at the idiot. “Enough to make him hate me? That’s a bit of a fucking difference there, don’t you think?”

Hange let out a displeased squawk and nearly dropped her half-eaten pastry as she batted aside the wipe. “Hey, I’m trying here, okay?” She glared as she took a large bite of the donut and chewed for several seconds; at least this time she swallowed before she resumed talking. “Look, go back to the bakery tomorrow, all right?”

“So you can get more éclairs? You trying to get fat or what while I suffer?”

It wasn’t often that Hange appeared furious, but when she did, it wasn’t pretty; Levi narrowed his eyes at the impressive scowl directed his way and gave the door a half-hearted swipe instead of bitching again. “You’re going to go back there to see what Eren does, all right?” Hange gritted out as she waved about the remains of her snack. “If he doesn’t slap you with a restraining order, then you know he can’t really hate you or be terrified.”

“That’s… huh, that’s not bad.” If Eren had displayed any suitable ‘emotional distress’ since Levi’s name had been revealed, then he could file a restraining order to keep Levi from harassing him; most did when confronted with the ‘names’ that had brought them pain or suffering… unless they had decided that this was the life where they turned the tables.

“Right!” Hange popped the last bit of the éclair into her mouth then grinned before she chewed. “’M brilliant.”

“You’re gross, but that’s beside the point.” Done cleaning up the mess, Levi went back to the desk and used another wipe on his hands; once that was done, he sat down in his comfortable leather chair. It was right around then that there was a beeping sound from the phone tucked into his satchel and one of the pockets of Hange’s coat.

Unconcerned about the fact that her hands were filthy, she reached for hers and frowned. “Damn, the meeting’s going to start soon.” She looked over at him with a hopeful expression while he pulled up his calendar with the intent to block off the rest of the day. “You gonna come or what?”

“No.” He shook his head and motioned at the boxes. “I’m serious, I’m not leaving here until it’s time to go home.” Talking to Hange had helped, but he wasn’t in the mood to put up with a lot of people, to see Hange and Moblit together or hear Mike mention Nanaba. All he wanted was privacy, some time to gather his thoughts… and see what he could dig up on anyone with the unusual name of ‘Eren’ now that he knew *his* Eren was here in town. It wasn’t the same as the happy reunion he’d imagined all these years, but if he could find out something, *anything*, maybe it would help him figure out what had gone wrong.

Hange hesitated for a few seconds before she nodded and reached for the pastry boxes. “Okay, I’ll tell Erwin something personal came up and unless he wants the internet to crash, to leave you alone.” She smiled at the quiet huff he gave in way of thanks. “I’ll send you a message when we order out for lunch to see if you’re hungry by then.”

“It better not be that horrible grease-pit again,” he warned as she headed for the door.

“Yeah, yeah, a little lard won’t kill you.” She laughed when Levi took to gagging and even closed the door behind her for once.

Left alone in his office, Levi found his left hand pressed against his chest and forced it back down to the keyboard. Eren had appeared to be in his late teens, early twenties at the most, so maybe he was here to study at the university. That would be a good place to start looking….

*******

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, thanks so much for all the kudos and comments, I'm really happy that people are enjoying the take on 'soul mates' here and appreciate the feedback so much. Went back and fixed a couple of typos in the last chapter (and yeah, this IS a multi-chapter fic). You get a few answers here on a couple of things, and one or two familiar faces (or mentions of them). Others will show up in the next chapter or two.
> 
> Just to repeat, Eren and Levi each have their own very different perspectives of what happened in the past (scenes that we know from different filters, and personal scenes). And it'll all lead up to why, for some reason, Eren's subconscious has made a certain choice for this life.  
> *******

*******

“Wow, was the quiz that bad? You’re the second person I’ve run into from Morinello’s class who looks like, well, who looks awful.”

Eren grimaced even though Armin was offering him a cold can of expresso drink and shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad since I sorta figured it was coming, it’s just-“ He shook his head rather than continue speaking, unwilling to say anything else just then. No, the quiz had actually been a helpful distraction, something for him to focus on and push away what had happened in the morning.

Except now he was done with classes for the day, done with work, and other than a short essay and a couple of chapters of reading, there wasn’t much in the way of other distractions. “Hey, you want to head out for something to eat?”

Armin gave him a regretful smile as he hitched up the battered messenger bag slung across his chest. “I’m sorry, but I still have eight pages left on that paper for organic chemistry that’s due on Friday. And you know what eight pages means for Trautmann.”

Eren winced at the mere mention of the dreaded professor. “Yeah, it’s more like twelve with the way I hear he insists on such tiny margins and spacing. You need to switch majors,” he informed his friend as they headed outside, the hallways thinning as everyone else around them either reached their classrooms or had already left the old building. Hesselman Hall might not as fancy or have the best wifi as some of the newer buildings on campus, but Eren liked the marble floors, the fancy stonework around the doors and the feeling of solid strength to the plain grey walls of the rooms. Plus, it was nice and cool during the warmer months even with the old a/c system thanks to the thick walls and huge windows.

Laughing since Eren had tried to get him to change his major for the last year and a half, Armin shook his head even as he pulled out his phone and earbuds. “Sorry, but I think I’ll make a better researcher than psychologist. Besides, would you want me psychoanalyzing you all the time?”

“You do that all the time, ever since you took that class last semester as an elective,” Eren reminded the know-it-all.

“Okay, but I’d be able to have you committed if I had a license,” Armin pointed out. When Eren groaned at that fact, he laughed again and waved goodbye. “If I finish my paper early and still have any working brain cells left, I’ll give you a call.”

Eren waved goodbye as well and then opened the can still in his right hand; the jolt of caffeine was much appreciated at the moment, even if its giver had abandoned him. Ah, he really couldn’t blame Armin, not when his friend would have hung out with him if it wasn’t for the paper from hell and Eren would have turned him down if their situations were reversed – at least, if all he knew was that Armin didn’t seem in the best of moods.

Eren found himself rubbing at his chest with his left hand and nearly choked on the coffee drink. Dammit, why did he have to run into the bastard now? Why did he have to run into him at all? Things were going so good – he was in his second year of university, was doing decent in classes, had made some friends on here on campus as well as was with Armin and in general was happy. As happy as he could be with the knowledge that there was some bastard out there with his name on their chest whom he never wanted to see, whom he was doing his best to avoid, but yeah, he was all right. He’d finally gotten his parents to agree to let him transfer to Trost from Shiganshina and-

Fuck – his parents. He swore out loud, which earned him a dirty look from some middle-aged professor in a black coat – he thought she taught mathematics – as he made his way home and nearly threw the empty can onto the ground in angry frustration. His parents would freak out if they found out about the bastard showing up today, and he was willing to bet his mother would make the four hour trip from home in less than an hour just to be on hand to protect him, and his father wouldn’t be too far behind with a rental truck to take all of his stuff back home. No. *No*. He loved them, he knew they loved him, but he wasn’t putting up with their ‘you’re our baby, our only child and we will shield you from the cruel world’ shit anymore. They meant the best, but part of the reason he came to Trost was so he could finally stand on his own two feet.

For a moment he was filled with utter rage at how everything was so fucked up, at how everything he’d planned had been messed up in an instant that morning, that the peaceful life he’d made here had been ruined because *he* just had to go and show up, to- there was a metallic clattering sound as Eren clutched at the bag slung across his chest, hands tightening around the soft strap as if were *his* neck instead, wrapped with that stupid white cravat *he* always wore while staring at him with cold grey eyes-

“Hey! Watch where you’re going, dude.”

The annoyed voice snapped Eren out of his furious daze as he noticed just in time that he was about to walk into two other college students on their way toward campus. Muttering an apology beneath his breath, he hung his head and hurried along, his bangs falling into his eyes as he focused on just getting home. Yeah, just get home, lock the door and hide away for the rest of the night. He’d do his best to focus on his homework and see if maybe Marco or Annie didn’t want to come over, if not then he’d binge on whatever looked good on Netflix; as long as he stayed at home, he should be safe.

*******

Levi set his laptop bag next to the kitchen island then draped his coat over one of the stools before he grabbed a bottle of red wine from the small rack on the granite countertop. With his right hand, he dug in the center drawer for the fancy-ass corkscrew Erwin had given him two Christmases ago and removed the cork from the bottle, and barely, *barely*, restrained himself long enough to fetch the first clean glass he could reach to pour some of the wine into – fortunately it was a highball glass. Once the glass was drained, he poured himself another but managed to hold off on drinking any more as he set it aside then yanked his light blue sweater off and draped it over the grey wool coat.

Glass once more in hand and bottle in the other, he headed over to the couch in the living room, stocking feet quiet on the wood floor, and sank into the black leather cushions. Across the room there was an annoying flash of sound, whatever stupid ringtone Hange had managed to sneak onto his phone during their last get-together, but Levi ignored it; he wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone right now, to talk or help out or… or *anything*.

All day long he’d dug around on the ‘net and done a bunch of shit that would make Erwin give him that ‘I’m so disappointed’ look, not to mention put his job in jeopardy. But hey, his excuse was that his friend-slash-boss knew about those old skill-sets of his and which might come in handy some day so no reason to let them get too rusty, right? It was for the good of the company, blah blah blah. He just didn’t know if it had done *him* any good in the long run, as the shock from the morning had worn off and Levi realized just how fucked up of a mess he really was in.

From what he could tell, his ‘other half’ was Eren Jaeger, soon to be twenty years old. Huh, wonder if the kid could be won over with a fancy-ass birthday present…. Levi grimaced as he took another gulp of wine. Yeah, like throwing money at shit would make everything all better.

Eren Jaeger, nineteen years old, psychology major at Trost University, currently managing a 3.1 grade point. Not a rocket scientist, but not bad. Born in Shiganshina to Grisha and Karla Jaeger, a noted general practitioner and an owner of a small café respectively, with no siblings that Levi had found. From what Levi had been able to dig up, Eren had transferred to Trost University this past fall, which explained why their paths hadn’t crossed before now. Eren worked part time at the Rose Bakery a few days a week, though from what Levi had dug up in the Jaeger’s bank statements – oh yeah, Erwin really would flip his shit if he found out about today – the kid didn’t need to since he had enough money left in his checking account each month and his parents were ‘comfortable’ with their income. Yeah, it must have been nice, growing up like that, Levi thought with some bitterness as he finished the second glass of wine, and realized he’d need another bottle to refill a third.

Getting up from the couch, he went back to the kitchen for more wine since he didn’t feel like making it through the night sober; he might do something stupid like head back to the damn bakery or check out the address he’d tracked down from Eren’s university records. Yeah, like that would be really smart, would work real well in his favor of seeing if Eren would slap a restraining order on his ass. ‘Hey, I know I’m the guy you can’t stand but I’ve decided to stalk you as well, wanna go out on a date?’

A pathetic laugh slipped free as he uncorked the second bottle, and for a moment Levi paused and just let his head hang down as he contemplated the whole mess. For so fucking long, he’d waited for this day, had waited to meet ‘Eren’. He’d dared to hope that the dreams he’d had over the years meant that he’d find someone passionate, someone a bit headstrong yet kind, someone who would smile at him as if he was the most incredible person in the world – the same kid in those dreams. It didn’t matter if Levi was a short, foul-tempered fuck with OCD, that he somehow ended up with friends despite himself and his shitty personality. Something inside had told him that all of it wouldn’t matter once he met Eren… and he’d been fool enough to believe it. At least until Eren had looked at him as if he was some sort of monster then turned around and run away. So much for those fucking dreams and ‘other halves’.

“You stupid fuck,” he chided himself as he poured another glass of wine. Perhaps it would be best to send a message to Erwin and tell his friend that he was taking off some of his saved up vacation days, and go away for a few weeks; it had been a while since he’d visited his mother and she would be ecstatic to see him. If he stayed here… it would be torturous as fuck to know he was in the same city as Eren, and he’d only do something stupid. Something that would get him slapped with a restraining order or-

The sound of his front door opening made him spin around, then curse as he spilled some wine on his expensive grey shirt. “Fuck! What the hell are you doing?” He set the glass aside as Erwin and Hange slinked into his apartment as if expecting to be assaulted at any moment. They almost got a wine bottle thrown at them for their troubles, but it wasn’t empty just yet.

Erwin held up his right hand, which held the spare key Levi had given him for *emergencies*. “You didn’t answer your phone.”

“Yeah, because I want to be left the *fuck* alone!” Levi glared as he began to unbutton his shirt. “Can’t you assholes take the hint? Now get out!”

“Oh, wow, two bottles?” Hange hurried over and set a large cloth bag that clinked onto the island, while Erwin followed with a take-out bag from the sushi place Levi adored. “You started without us, you louse.”

“There is no ‘us’!” Levi almost threw his stained shirt at her, but it had been through enough. “I’m going to treat this and you better be gone by the time I get back,” he warned as he headed to his bedroom.

“But we have something to tell you,” Hange shouted at him. “It’s about *Eren*!”

….dammit. Levi gritted his teeth as he opened his closet door and grabbed the bottle of stain spray off of the one shelf so he could treat the spots of wine, then draped the shirt over the hamper before he grabbed a soft blue jersey. Pulling it on as he headed back to the kitchen, he somehow wasn’t surprised to find Hange opening another bottle of wine while Erwin set out several containers of sushi. “What the hell is going on, and why is he here?” He pointed at Erwin even as he went to the sink to wash his hands.

Erwin arched his thick blond eyebrows and, once done parceling out their dinner, settled on one of the stools while he split apart the disposable chopsticks. “Because after you holed up in your office all day, I made it my priority to find out what was going on and came across Hange researching a rather interesting topic that had nothing to do with any of her assigned projects.” He must have come here right after work, since he was still dressed in a dark grey business suit, the coat of which he removed to reveal a lighter grey vest and white shirt.

Busy pouring everyone some wine, Hange had the grace to appear guilty just then as she handed Levi his refilled glass. “Ah, yeah, sorry about that.” She shrugged and picked up her own glass. “I was looking into how Eren’s dreams could be so different from yours and got busted.” At Levi’s glare, she shrugged again. “Again, sorry, but I had to explain what I was doing and why, *but* I think I found something interesting so either kill me quick or hear me out, okay?”

Levi held up the cheap chopsticks as he considered the first option for a moment then tossed them aside with a click of his tongue before opening the far left drawer on the island so he could use his own set. “I can always kill you later,” he decided.

“That’s the spirit!” Hange reached over to tap her glass against his then paused to take a big swallow before she continued. “Hmm, good stuff.” She smacked her lips and removed the plastic lid to her order of spicy shrimp rolls. “As I was saying, it doesn’t seem to happen often, from what I found, but you’re not the first case of someone coming across their ‘other’ and that person having an adverse reaction to them.”

Not sure if he was hungry, Levi poked at his salmon rolls as he stared at his friend. “So you’re saying it has happened before?”

“Yeah.” Hange shoved a roll in her mouth and washed it down with some wine. “There was a case of a mother and a child a few years ago, and when the child began to dream, they suddenly became frightened of the mother when up until then, it was by all accounts a very loving relationship and the mother’s dreams had been of yearning to reunite with the son who had been taken from her. Another one was of something very similar to yours, where one person couldn’t understand why someone who was supposed to be a dear friend acted very cold to them.”

The topic definitely didn’t help his appetite, so Levi pushed aside the sushi and picked up his glass. “It does sound an awful lot like me and Eren.” Just thinking about his lover made him drink about a third of the wine, until Erwin touched his arm.

“I think it would be a good idea if you’re semi-coherent for this,” Erwin urged, a sympathetic expression on his handsome face. “I assume you spent the day… doing some ‘research’ of your own?” His blue eyes narrowed in evident disapproval, just as Levi had expected, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. “What did you find out about Eren?”

Levi took another sip of wine just to prove a point then set it aside, and huffed when Erwin pushed the tray of sushi back in front of him. “He’s in town studying psychology,” he grumbled as he picked up a roll, not dumb or drunk enough to admit to everything.

“Oh! Reawwy?” Hange nearly spat out a mouthful of rice and shrimp just then, and rolled her eyes when Erwin shoved a napkin in her face. “Sowwy.” She finished swallowing, while Levi did his best to eat something despite everything that worked against his appetite. “Psychology is his major?”

Levi frowned and spoke once he finished chewing. “Yeah, grief counseling to be exact.” At Erwin’s put-upon sigh, he did some eye-rolling of his own. “Not that I, uhm, fuck, yeah, I cracked his records.”

“Levi….” Erwin picked up his own glass and didn’t put it down until it was half empty.

“Extenuating circumstances,” Levi growled out. “Don’t start any shit or I *will* finish it.” As they scowled at each other, what looked to be a green blob sailed across the island to land in Erwin’s sushi. “What?”

“Guys, can we focus on the issue here, which is Levi and his rather grouchy snookums?” Hange waved her filthy chopsticks about in the air. “And the fact that you didn’t let me continue?”

Erwin rubbed at his forehead as he poked at what turned out to be a ball of wasabi in the middle of his sushi rolls. “Sorry, we didn’t realize that we had interrupted.”

“Yeah, Erwin always feels like it’s an important time for a lecture,” Levi snarked, the wine finally kicking in.

“Because you feel that the rules of society don’t apply to you,” Erwin shot back as his hand fell onto the table.

“Right, like that isn’t the pot calling the kettle-“

“Can the both of you shut the *fuck* up?” As Hange shouted at them, she slammed her chopsticks against the stone countertop hard enough to break the thin wooden sticks. “We’re here to help Levi with his problem, not to fight like children!”

Clicking his tongue as he brushed aside the splinter of wood that had landed on the front of his shirt, Levi paused as his fingers touched upon the hidden name beneath the soft fabric. “Look, do you really think you’ve figured anything out? People have been born with these shitty names for centuries now and all we know for certain is that you dream about the other person and either you’re fucked or you’re not when it comes to them.” He’d thought he was in the latter category, only to be proven wrong.

Hange sighed as she appeared to pick a splinter out of her hands, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Maybe that would have been true a decade or two ago, but there’s been a lot of breakthroughs in the last few years thanks to technology and people sharing information.” She dusted her hands and then let them rest in her lap as she stared at Levi. “There’s a huge question about why can’t we identify anyone else in our dreams other than the person whose name we bear – the most popular theory is that when we’re reincarnated, we just don’t cross the path of our ‘other’, but with some of the people from that past time as well. I mean, when you consider the fact that not everyone matches up one to one, after all, there *has* to be some crossover. A parent might have the name of one of their children while that child might bear that of another sibling. One part of a paired couple might also be the name of someone else, might be their platonic match – some people have the capacity to love or provide support to more than one person.”

Levi almost had some more wine before he decided he was having enough difficulty following along with the lunatic and had another roll instead. “What the hell does this have to do with me and Eren?” Just saying his lover’s name hurt.

Hange sighed again then propped her chin up on the palm of her left hand. “Just that stuff from the past bleeds over into the present, and it’s more than just the names, all right?” Her right hand rose to press against her left collarbone, where Moblit’s name was hidden beneath the thick red cable-knit sweater she wore. “More than likely – at least by the current lead theory – we’re also surrounded by some of the same friends of the past, and what we’re doing now is somehow influenced by back then.” She paused to take a sip of wine. “I remember bits of pieces where it looked as if I was tinkering with things, so it makes sense that I’m involved in research in some way.”

Erwin nodded as he took the last bit of his sushi, then slid his chopsticks back in their paper wrapper. “I got the impression that I was some sort of leader.” For a moment there was a flash of weariness and grief on his handsome face before he shook his head. “It might be why I was always certain that I could manage my own company.”

Hange beamed as she pounded her right fist on top of the island. “Yes! See, that’s what I mean.” She turned an expectant gaze upon Levi. “And then there’s you – you’ve said that things were ‘hard’ back there, that they were difficult. That have anything to do why you do security?”

Well, Erwin had a good deal to do with it, but yeah, in a way, something pushed Levi to do what he could to keep his friends safe and to be on guard. Just as he felt compelled to spend a few hours a week working out and had learned self-defense from his uncle, he’d sat in front of the computer his mother had given him all those years ago and been driven to learn all the ways he could break into it *and* keep another hacker out. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Then I bet whatever it is that is making Eren distrust you might just have something to do with his major.” Hange frowned and tapped the fingers of her left hand against the frames of her glasses. “Grief counseling, huh? You sure you didn’t kill someone in that past life? Maybe his best buddy or his pet dog or something?”

“…this is you helping? I’m not staying sober for this shit,” Levi muttered as he picked up his glass of wine and resumed drinking.

Erwin made a placating sound as he once more patted Levi’s arm. “Now, now, we’re trying our best here – as Hange said, there’s not a lot of information out there, just more than there used to be.”

“And it’s a perfectly good question, considering it’s *Levi*, ya know,” the pest just had to throw in there. “Maybe poor Eren’s dog drooled on his new shoes or something.”

Levi lowered the glass long enough to yell. “I didn’t kill anything! Well, not that I saw in any of the dreams.”

“Ha!”

He gave her the finger for that, and then unfortunately the glass was empty. Before he could refill it, Erwin snatched away the bottles of wine.

“So what we’re left with is needing more information, which isn’t going to be found from Levi hacking any more databases.” He gave Levi a warning glare while he said that last part. “This calls for some more drastic action.”

“Eh?” Hange gave up playing with her leftover ginger to stare at Erwin, her dark brows drawn together. “We going to kidnap the snookums?”

Erwin’s face scrunched together in a pained expression as he drank straight from the one bottle of wine for several seconds, while Levi grimaced in disgust. “No,” the inconsiderate bastard gasped when he was done. “No kidnapping,” he elaborated while Hange pouted. “We’re going to figure out how to help Levi court Eren.”

While Hange stared at Erwin for several seconds before starting to laugh, Levi got up to go fetch the hard liquor.

*******

As soon as Eren walked into the bakery, he held up his right hand and shook his head. “Don’t really wanna hear it, okay?” He knew he looked like shit and that he was ten minutes late, he didn’t need Ymir to get on his ass about it; the dream had been especially bad last night, had been the one about the bastard chaining him to a bed and leaving him in a cold, dark room in a stone-walled cell. Once he’d woken up from it, he hadn’t been able to fall back asleep and so had resumed his marathon of Cupcake Wars episodes as a distraction.

Ymir paused in cracking and separating an egg to stare at him, her freckled face blank for a couple of seconds before she grimaced and tossed the empty shell aside. “Look, you know I hate involving myself in personal shit because really, I don’t give a fuck.”

“Yeah, Mother Theresa reborn, that’s you,” Eren grumbled as he tied on a clean apron.

She gave him the finger before she grabbed a new egg. “You being such a smart ass doesn’t help the situation, either,” she pointed out as she hit the egg with a little too much force against the rim of the large metal bowl, but was lucky enough that it still split even. “Shadis will back you if you take a couple of days off, you know, go get whatever paperwork you need to make sure that guy doesn’t bother you and deal with… whatever.” She waved her left hand around her head. “My aunt… well, I know something like… it messes you up. Don’t need you here crying in the batter and scaring away the customers is all I’m saying.” Ymir had her attention focused on the bowl of egg whites as she spoke.

Wow, things really had to be fucked up if Ymir was almost concerned about him; Eren was half-tempted to give her a hug for acting semi-human, but he suspected he’d end up wearing that bowl of raw eggs. “I’m… it’ll be all right,” he assured her. “I won’t be crying or fucking up the recipes.” He slicked back his hair, which was still damp from the hasty shower that morning and reminded himself yet again to schedule a cut sometime soon while he shoved on his hat. “What do you want me to do? The croissants again?”

Ymir frowned as she looked back up at him. “What, did you file the paperwork yesterday?”

Great, why couldn’t she just drop it? Eren sighed as he grabbed a bag of flour and some of the butter Ymir had already set out. “No, I’m not going to do that.” At her incredulous look, he shook his head. “I can handle it, okay?”

That declaration earned him a scoff and an egg – thankfully uncracked – tossed at his face. “Yeah, right, that’s why you ran back here yesterday and wouldn’t leave until that guy bought out half a display case and left.”

Eren shrugged as he set aside the egg for later and began to prepare the yeast. “I was caught off guard, okay? I didn’t think I’d run into him in Trost at all, let alone where I worked.” That was probably stupid of him, but he felt safe here, surrounded by friends and people he trusted.

Ymir scoffed again and began to whipping the egg whites. “Well he did find you, and now he knows where you work. You really think he won’t come back here? I think he works for that fancy research company out on Route 62, since they’re here every two weeks for stuff.”

He slammed the pot down as if it were onto the bastard’s head instead of the stovetop then slashed his right hand through the air in frustration before stomping over to the walk-in for the milk. “I don’t know! I just- I can’t file a restraining order without having my parents vouch for me about the dreams, and if they know that Lev- the bastard’s shown up then I won’t need a damn restraining order, they’ll have me back home so fast I’ll be suffering whiplash, all right?” He glared at Ymir as he opened the door then slammed it shut behind him with as much force as he could, which wasn’t much considering the damn thing weighed a ton. Once in the cooler, he let out a scream of frustration then forced himself to take several deep breaths before he grabbed a gallon of milk.

When he re-entered the kitchen, Ymir was quiet and once more beating the eggs into a stiff peak. Nothing was said as he heated up the milk and sugar mixture for the yeast, at least until he took the pot off the stove to cool down.

“I forgot about your parents,” Ymir admitted as she set the large bowl aside. “I guess I can see how they’d be freaked out by this, from what you’ve said about them.”

Eren let out a slow breath as he tugged on the brim of his hat. “They mean well, but yeah, this is one of their worst nightmares coming true – it’s why they argued against me coming here for school. So I’m going to deal with this on my own, okay?” Ymir might give him shit, but she was a good friend – probably because she *did* give him shit; it was important that he had her support.

Her eyes narrowed as if she was considering something, and then she shrugged as she picked up the bowl again to finish with the egg whites. “Look, I don’t know what the deal is with you and that guy, but he didn’t seem too bad.” When Eren went to speak, she shook her head and waved the merengue-covered whisk about in the air. “Ah, give me a minute. I’m not defending him, just saying that he seemed more upset and hurt than pissed off. That should work in your favor if he comes around again, because you don’t want to deal with pissed off.” For a moment, there was a dark, closed off look on her face as she gave the eggs a rather brutal stir.

He really didn’t want to hear anyone defend the bastard, not after all the nights when he’d woken up from the dreams – no, the *nightmares* - of what the man had done to him in their past life, the beatings, the casual indifference, the constant threats of how Eren’s life was in the bastard’s hands…. “Ha, and here I always thought *I* should be the one hurt and upset,” he griped as he crumbled the yeast into the milk mixture.

Ymir made a grating sound as if she was clenching her teeth. “I said I wasn’t defending him, yeah? Just… I’ve seen one or two fucked up relationships between people and their other halfs, and that guy? He didn’t act like I would have expected him to – and neither are you, when it comes down to it.” Ymir pointed the whisk at Eren again when he stared at her in shock for that announcement. “If you really hated or feared him? You wouldn’t care what your parents do to you, you’d just care about getting away from him. So keep the drama to a minimum if you can and let me know if I need to kick his ass.”

“What the….”

Desperate to figure out how the hell to respond to that, Eren was, well, saved? Was at least spared at the moment by Sasha rushing through the back door as she showed up late as well for her shift, and eager to know what was being made and how soon it would be done.

*******

The worst of the early morning rush appeared to be over, so Eren rested against the cash register and moaned as Mr. Patterson left the store with his usual bear claw and black coffee. Beside him, Sasha let out a loud breath as she draped herself over the donut cooler, her face a little sweaty and strands escaping the high ponytail she’d pulled her hair into that morning. “I hate mornings.”

“Yeah, well you certainly love eating all the mistakes and leaving with the leftovers,” Eren reminded her as he pushed away from the register, just as Ymir came in with a fresh tray of donuts.

“I need something to keep me fueled through my classes!” Sasha appeared rejuvenated as she snapped at the wristband of her left glove and grinned. “World history, English Lit and Calculus today so I’ll really need a good sugar rush to stay awake.”

“Figure out a major someday soon and maybe they won’t be so boring,” Ymir chided as she set the tray down on one of the tables lining the white and red tiled wall so they could help restock.

“But it’s the rest of my life we’re talking about!” Sasha stared back at Ymir in horror as if she’d just been told to pick only one type of food to eat until she died. “How can I be sure I’ll enjoy doing it for years and years?”

Ymir appeared ready to shove a chocolate frosted donut into the girl’s face, which Eren wasn’t sure Sasha would really mind but yeah, customers and all that. “You know you’re not stuck doing the same thing for the rest of your life, right?” he reminded Sasha as he shoved Ymir toward the coolers. “Just… think of what you like to do and try to pick a major with some wiggle room. Go talk to a few professors or something.” Really, why did he have to give out advice? At least for free….

Sasha sniffed a little then smiled. “You’ll make a great psychologist,” she told him before she headed back into the kitchen, hopefully to grab some more trays to help them restock.

“Yeah, nice to see that *you’re* not sleeping through classes.” Ymir smirked while she came back for more donuts. “Though I think that 78 on the last quiz in the one class might have something to do with it.”

“Anderson’s an ass and loves to skip ahead on chapters when he springs quizzes on us,” Eren muttered as he began to reorganize the danish cooler. “I did better on the last one, though.”

“Whatever. Do you think things are slowing down enough that you can come back and help me get a start on the cakes? We got a few special orders in and I’d rather not have Sasha trying to eat all the roses again.”

Eren paused to check the time since he did have an ‘early’ class today, and figured he could at least help out Ymir for another hour and a half before he had to leave. “Sure, let me just help Sasha restock up here first.”

“Great.” Ymir left him with the half-empty tray and headed back, probably to get started on the cakes.

Sasha returned with another tray and a bit of chocolate smeared around her lips, which Eren knew better to ask her about by this point; if she wanted to risk snacking while Shadis was on duty so be it, but it was a good thing their manager was busy in the office putting in the supply order just then. Eren had just finished the one tray and was helping with the other one when there was a faint ‘ding’ to let them know that a customer had walked into the bakery.

And the morning had gone so well up until then, too. Eren felt a jolt of adrenalin when he recognized the dark-haired figure in the expensive trench coat approach the counter, eyes downcast and gloved hands clenched around the straps of an equally expensive-looking leather satchel draped across his chest. “Just great,” he muttered as he slumped against the counter.

“Uhm….” Sasha glanced back and forth between him and the bastard before she scurried for the kitchen, leaving him to think that Connie must have said something yesterday.

“What the hell do you want?” he ground out as the bastard approached the donut cooler, and a part of him felt some smug satisfaction at seeing the guy flinch… at least until the bastard looked up and he noticed the pronounced dark circles beneath the familiar grey eyes. Okay, yeah, the bastard – he struggled to not think of him as ‘Levi’, to consider him as something so familiar – always looked a couple hours short of sleep, but right now he looked as if he hadn’t gotten *any* last night. He looked like *shit*, and for some reason that really bothered Eren. It shouldn’t, not after all the sleepless nights he’d caused *Eren*, not after almost three hours of Cupcake Wars and starting a 5am shift, but…. “You want some more pastries or what?” he ended up adding in a less surly tone.

The bastard managed a slight smile which made him appear a little less dead on his feet and shuffled closer to the cooler – and Eren. “Yeah, I’d like another four dozen, some éclairs, danishes and shit. Oh, and the croissants, definitely a couple of them, regular and chocolate.” He waved at the cases. “Just mix up… whatever you think best.”

A bit upset that the coolers had just been restocked so he couldn’t do another ‘special order’ like yesterday – not that it had discouraged the man – Eren sighed as he reached for one of the prepped boxes and began to fill it with a mix of croissants and apple fritters. “You know, if you think I’m going to fall at your feet because you buy stuff here, you’re even more messed up than the dreams’ve led me to believe. There’s someone who bribes her employees with dozens of cupcakes every Friday, and I’ve yet to throw myself at her.” That she reminded him of his mother might have something to do with it….

For a moment the bastard appeared angry, his grey eyes narrowed and thin lips pressed together, then he clicked his tongue as he slipped his right hand into his satchel. “I’m not trying to buy your affections – if I was, it would be with something better than a bunch of junk food.”

Not about to hear slander against the things he spent a lot of time and effort on, Eren felt a rush of anger and was about to give the bastard a piece of his mind. “Listen, I don’t-“

“Is everything all right up here?”

Eren nearly jumped when he heard Shadis’ deep voice from behind him, and once more the bastard’s eyes narrowed in displeasure. “We’re fine,” the man said as he gave Eren’s manager a once-over as if assessing a threat.

Meanwhile, the bald, older man returned the favor, a wary gleam in his dark, hooded eyes and his hands fisted on his hips. Dressed more for a day of hard labor than managing a bakery in sturdy khaki pants and a thick white cotton shirt with rolled up sleeves which was a stark contrast to his weathered, tan skin, he seemed out of place and more than a little sinister, especially when compared to the elegant bastard. “I wasn’t asking you,” Shadis informed Eren’s… well, he informed Lev- the bastard. “I was asking Eren.”

All it would take was him telling Shadis that yes, this guy was bothering him, that he didn’t want him back here anymore and there wouldn’t be any more problems at work, wouldn’t be any more surprises like this. Except there was the fact that the bastard could just wait for him outside or find him on campus, could track him home or around town. As long as he didn’t file the restraining order, the bastard - *Levi* - could do as he liked.

And even if Eren did have Shadis throw him out, he knew his manager would push him to go through with the order, to ensure that Levi didn’t try to bother him anywhere else. Dammit, why was it when people tried to help you out, they only made things worse? “No, it’s okay, I can handle him.” When Shadis cast him a doubtful look, Eren waved him off. “Seriously, it’s not a problem.”

Shadis stroked his goatee once as he scowled at the bastard as if giving him a non-verbal warning to behave, then grunted while he turned around. “I’ll be back here keeping an eye on Sasha if you need anything.”

Despite himself, Eren smiled as he thought about how much trouble his friend was about to be in when their manager caught her sneaking snacks. “Thanks.” Then he resumed boxing up the bastard’s order, eager to get the man out of the store before something else happened.

Halfway through the fourth box, Lev- the bastard shuffled closer to the cooler where Eren was picking out his éclairs. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m a problem,” he huffed as he glared at the box Eren was holding.

The ridiculous statement made Eren pause in what he was doing and stare at the oblivious moron. “Seriously? Seriously?!” He set the full box aside and leaned against the cooler. “You know how many mornings I’ve come in here dead on my feet because of the dreams- no, *nightmares* I’ve had because of you?” Pushing away so he could snatch up another box and get the asshole out of his bakery as soon as possible, he began to shove whatever donuts he could grab into it. “That’ll be $50.65,” he snapped as he placed the gathered boxes on the counter near the registered; it took considerable effort not to slam them down or smash them as they were bagged.

Dammit, he would *not* feel guilty about the crestfallen expression on the bastard’s face as the man approached the register, hand still in the satchel. For a moment Eren felt troubled over why his hand was in there, and flinched when he caught a flash of white and green until he realized that the bastard had just pulled out a small bouquet of flowers wrapped in a green ribbon. “What the fuck?” He blinked in confusion when the flowers were held out to him.

“Look, I don’t know why you believe I’m such an asshole or why you feel your dreams are nightmares, but to me… they’re anything but,” Levi admitted, his bass voice even deeper as if he was embarrassed of something, a faint flush to his pale cheeks. “Anyway, in one of mine – in one of the dreams, we found a field of these things and they made you really happy.” He rubbed at the back of his head with his left hand as he continued to hold out the flowers. “I guess… I guess I hoped they still did.”

Lily of the valley, the flowers were lily of the valley, and yeah, Eren did like them; some grew around his home in Shiganshina and he used to pick some for his mother when he was younger. When he didn’t say or do anything, Levi shrugged again and set the flowers down before digging out his wallet. “Well, they’re for you.”

Eren shuddered and found his fingers reaching for the flowers, then stopped himself. “You wanna know what I dreamed about last night?” He scowled when Le- the bastard nodded, money in hand as he stared back. “That you chained me to a bed in a dungeon, a damn *dungeon* of all things, and then you walked away as if it was *nothing*,” he spat. Picking up the flowers, he went to throw them in the bastard’s face but found that he couldn’t, so he slammed them back down on the counter instead. “How can you dream about us and flowers and being lovers when you did shit like that to me?”

The look that the bastard gave him was one of uncertainty and pain as he laid the money down on the counter. “I honestly don’t know, but I’ll figure it out. We’re meant to be together and I won’t let something fuck that up.” Without bothering to get his change, he grabbed the boxes and turned around to leave the store.

Stunned both by the display of emotion and the utter conviction in the man’s voice, Eren stared after him until the door closed shut. Then he came back to his senses and almost jumped over the counter. “There is *nothing* between us, you moron!” he shouted, which startled the young woman who had just walked into the store. Frustrated and unwilling to put up with anyone just then, he summoned up an apologetic smile, shoved the money into the cash register then grabbed the flowers before he ran back into the kitchen to get Sasha to cover the front for the rest of his shift.

*******

Levi rejected another request to access a website – really, how stupid were people to *ask* to play video games at work? – and forwarded it on to Erwin for added spite. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Petra hovering just outside of his office, probably trying to decide if she should risk coming in and getting yelled at; he hadn’t been in the best mood after arriving at work. Okay, so things hadn’t quite gone as he’d planned with Eren that morning, he’d hoped to… fuck, he wasn’t quite sure what he’d hoped, considering how much he’d drank last night along with Hange and Erwin’s interference.

He’d rejected another internet request when there was a knock at the door, which caused him to look up. “Seriously, go the *fuck* away,” he groaned when he caught sight of Hange, who was holding a familiar white box in her hand, with Erwin looming behind her; to make matters worse, neither of them looked anywhere near as awful as he felt from all of the alcohol last night. “I don’t want to see either of you for at least a month.”

“Rather difficult since we work together,” Erwin pointed out as he gave Hange a gentle shove forward. “And we have a meeting together this afternoon.”

“Like I care.” Seeing that he was being ignored, Levi closed his laptop and folded his arms over his chest. “Don’t tell me that there are actually some pastries left after you pigs were set loose on them.”

Hange’s grin became even more demented. “Oh no! They were gone within half an hour, and this came just for you! I didn’t know the bakery did deliveries.” She laughed, sounding like the insane person she was, as she set the box down on Levi’s desk with a bow and a flourished wave of her hand, her lab coat fluttering around her.

He frowned at the simple white box with the thin white string, a small red and white rose sticker on the top, and then scowled at his ‘friends’. “What, you’re telling me that this came from Eren’s bakery?”

“Yes.” Erwin handed over a small slip of paper. “Some kid dropped it off, *not* Eren from your description.”

Levi snatched at the paper, but all it said was ‘For Levi’. Well, he had been paying in cash so he supposed that Eren hadn’t been able to figure out his last name. “Wait, how did he know where to send it?”

Hange shrugged as she pushed the box closer to him in a rather unsubtle manner. “Someone from the company always stops by to order several dozen boxes of goodies every other Tuesday – he must have figured out that you work here.”

That and Hange probably expensed them on the company card and had left an easily followed trail, cheap bastard that she was, Levi thought.

“The kid did hang out long enough to make sure that he had the right place,” Erwin agreed. “So it appears that you’re not the only one who’s a bit of a sleuth.” Only this time, he didn’t seem to be all pissy about it, go figure.

“Like it bothers me.” There was an odd tingle in Levi’s chest as he snapped the twine so he could open the box; Eren had sought him out, had taken the effort to find out something about him. Even if it was a dead rat or something in here, Eren had bothered to learn something about him. That was a good sign, right?

Well, it wasn’t a dead rat. Inside the box was a cake, a lovely white cake with red roses and several stalks of the lily of the valley that Levi’d given to his lover earlier that morning. It smelled sweet both from the sugar and the flowers, and for a moment he was taken by the beauty of the flowers. Then he noticed the words written on top in blue.

“’Roses are red, violets are blue, take a big bite so I can sleep at night’.” Confused by the message, he looked up at Hange who appeared torn between laughing and shaking her head.

“Ah, I had wondered when you mentioned the flowers to us last night, but you *do* know that lily of the valley is poisonous, right?” When Levi continued to stare at her, she sighed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. But it appears that Eren knows that, hence the message.”

Erwin gasped as the meaning sunk in. “Wait, so he’s telling Levi to- the cake is poisonous?”

Hange shrugged as she swiped her right forefinger through one of the red roses, and before anyone could stop her, popped the finger into her mouth.

“Hange!” Erwin yanked on her arm, but by the time the finger slid from her mouth, it was clean except for a trace of red dye. “What the hell are you thinking?” Meanwhile, Levi groaned in disgust and yanked the cake away from the lunatic.

“Eh, that we have a really good health care policy so who cares if I end up in the hospital?” She laughed when Erwin made a choking sound and shook her head. “Aw, so far no tingling sensation and it tasted normal, so I’m thinking other than the actual flowers, Eren didn’t poison anything.” She rolled her eyes when Erwin’s face became flushed with either anger or… yeah, probably anger. “Come on, you think he’s going to do anything to risk a lawsuit? Or his coworkers? I think he’s just trying to prove a point, not cause a homicide.”

“So leave my cake the hell alone,” Levi snapped. “Your germs are probably worse than the damn poison.” He picked off the flowers as he spoke so he could enjoy the cake later, even if he didn’t care too much for sweets.

Erwin glanced between the two of them for several seconds, his thick eyebrows drawn together in evident confusion. “I don’t – look, I know you hope to win him over, Levi, but this… it’s not good.” He reached for Levi’s left shoulder as if to offer some sort of comfort then seemed to think better of it. “Perhaps *you* should consider a restraining order.”

Levi wasn’t the only one to snort in derision over that ridiculous suggestion. “Don’t think so,” he informed his friend as he closed the box. When Erwin’s concern increased, he sighed and set the box aside. “All right, so maybe the cake is a bit fucked up, but he’s… sorta talking to me,” he attempted to explain. “He’s not ignoring me or shutting me out, right?” He glanced at Hange to see if she understood what he was trying to say.

She nodded and picked up one of the flower sprigs. “We’re not going to get anywhere if Eren shuts Levi out. The more he interacts with Levi, the better chance we have of figuring out what’s going on and getting them together.” She twirled the flowers between her fingers as she stared at Levi. “I know you weren’t in the best of moods when you got here today, but what happened this morning? What made him send the cake?”

Yeah, that whole mess. Levi let out a slow breath as he sat back in his chair and combed his fingers through his hair. “He… he didn’t seem as hostile for a little bit, at least until I gave him the flowers.” Thinking back on what Eren had told him, he frowned as something stirred in his memory. “He went on about his dreams, about how they were more like nightmares and told me that his this past night had to do about me chaining him up and leaving him in some sort of dungeon.”

“Oooh, kinky.”

Erwin ignored Hange with ease and jolted at the dream's description while he frowned. “What the hell? Why would he think that?” He tugged at hem of the blue vest of his suit as if both puzzled and unsettled by the whole mess, which probably was true; Levi didn’t know what name was hidden beneath his friend’s fine white shirt and vest, but he got the impression whatever it was, it wasn’t along the lines of the ‘fucked up’ ones.

Putting aside all thoughts of his friend, Levi was quiet as he searched through his memories of the dreams he had of Eren. “I… in a couple of them, we’re in a stone room. It’s cold and dark and… now that I think about it, the shadows are odd.” He looked up at Erwin and Hange as his clenched hands fell onto his lap. “Maybe… maybe they’re from bars cast onto the wall. Fuck, I don’t know if it’s something I never noticed before or if I’m thinking of it because of what Eren said.”

Hange held up her hands as if to placate him. “The problem with our dreams is that they’re from *our* perspective. There’s a lot of stuff I only see now that I know Moblit and vice versa, and that’s probably the same with you and Eren. Maybe now your dreams will start changing a little and you’ll get an idea of what’s going on with Eren.”

Levi glanced at the white cake box and then at the sprigs of flowers. “Maybe. I just want to know why the fuck he thinks I’m a monster and fix this shit.” He wanted a chance to have the relationship with Eren that he had in the dreams.

“We’ll figure it out, I promise.” Hange sounded so earnest just then that Levi almost believed her.

“Yeah, great, so excited about it.” Levi wasn’t sure what was worse – Eren appearing to hate him or the fact that Hange and Erwin were trying to help him out; so far he’d followed their advance and gotten a malicious cake delivered. “Can’t wait to see how I manage to piss him off next.”

Hange made grabby motions at the cake and got her right hand smacked. “Yeah, but you were able to see him, right?” she asked while she pouted. At both Levi’s and Erwin’s confused looks, she waggled her eyebrows behind her glasses as she shoved her hands into the deep pockets of her coat. “No restraining order, right? And you found out some more about his dreams. Baby steps, Levi, baby steps.”

Dammit, the lunatic was right. Levi sighed as he leaned back in his chair and thought about how Eren had turned aside his manager’s concern and had spoken to him today, how he hadn’t run away. “Just don’t blame me if you guys get fat from all the shit I end up buying from that damn bakery,” he grumbled as he opened up his laptop again.

*******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, yeah, Eren was a bit of a shit in this chapter with the cake (it'll be addressed more in the next one from his PoV and opinions from others). Not condoning it at all....


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks so much for all the comments and kudos left so far for this fic. Really happy to see that people are enjoying this take on soulmates, and not scared away so far by the bit of angst.
> 
> Some familiar faces in this chapter, and a hint of an answer....

*******

Huh, homicidal urges aside, the kid sure could bake. Levi took another bite of the cake, which had ended up being his lunch – after he had cut away a piece from where Hange had defiled it with her touch and a layer of icing from the top. He had to wonder if Eren *did* know something about the real him since the icing had been a lightly sweetened whipped cream instead of a sugary buttercream frosting, and the cake angel food; most cakes were too sweet for him, but this one was just fine. Well, once one overlooked the poisonous flowers and disturbing message.

He had another bite before he resumed running a background check on the potential new employee Erwin wanted to hire for payroll, and had barely gotten started on going through their credit history when there was a knock on the door.

Considering that he’d kicked out Erwin and Hange over an hour ago, he’d hoped to be left longer undisturbed, but at least this time it wasn’t either of those two pains in the asses. Looking up from his laptop, he glared as Moblit hovered around the door. “What does the lunatic want now?”

Moblit gave him a sheepish grin as he shuffled into the office, a non-descript paper bag held in his left hand. “Uhm, yeah, Hange asked me to give you something.”

“It better not be another new sample she wants me to try. I am not a fucking lab rat.” Levi contemplated throwing his fork at the poor guy, but it was Hange who deserved being hit not to mention a waste of a decent cake.

“No, it’s not that!” Still, there was a bead of sweat which ran down the side of Moblit’s face and his hand shook as he held out the bag. “But, uhm….”

Levi’s eyes narrowed as he eyed the suspicious bag and how nervous the brown-haired man appeared. “What the hell has that maniac done now?” He rose up from his chair and braced his arms on top of his desk as if it was a barrier between him and Moblit. “What’s in the fucking bag?”

Moblit gulped and appeared ready to flee out of the office. “Hah-hange said that studies into people with… ah, she means well, okay?” He took a couple of tentative steps forward until he could drop the bag onto Levi’s desk. “It’s supposed to help.” His face turned beet red when a box slid out of the bag onto the uncluttered wood surface.

It took a few seconds for Levi to figure out what exactly it was that Hange had sent her poor ‘other half’ to bring him, and then he realized that it was one of those ‘make your own dildo’ kits. A fucking *make* *your* *own* *dildo* *kit*. “What the *hell*. She wants me to… to what? Send Eren my fucking *dick*!?”

Moblit winced, probably because Levi was shouting at the end there. “Stu-studies show that people respond to-“

Levi cut him off by slamming his right hand down onto his desk, which caused the box to bounce. “No, no, no, *no*. I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to know how the fuck they came up with something like that, how Hange found it or anything else, I’m already mentally scarred enough as is and refusing to pay any damn taxes ever again.” He pointed at the… the *thing* while he glared at Moblit. “Take that piece of shit and slap Hange upside the head with it.” He continued to glare until Moblit crept forward to snatch it up. “Fucking ridiculous, I send… *that* to the poor kid and he’ll show up in person just to shove a bottle of real poison down my throat.”

“But the studies, the people reacted positively to, well, you know, things mimicking their other halves… uhm, yeah,” Moblit mumbled as he made for the door, still defending Hange despite Levi’s negative reaction to the ‘gift’.

“Get out!” Levi grit his teeth until Hange’s PA was gone, then shouted out Petra’s name; judging from the smirk she was doing her best to hide behind her right hand, she must have overheard enough of what had just happened that he didn’t bother to attempt to explain, he just motioned her to his desk while he reached into the bottom left drawer. “Hange *and* Moblit are banned for the rest of the day, understood?”

She tucked back a strand of her chin-length auburn hair as she nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“I mean it, keep them the fuck away from me.” He handed over one of the tasers he’d been given to try out from a vendor. “Zap their asses if they come by your desk.”

Petra’s hazel eyes went wide as she grasped the black device. “Ah, isn’t this a bit of overkill, sir?”

“A fucking dildo, Petra. What would you do if some guy gave you a dildo based on his own dick?”

A steely look came over her pretty face as she powered on the taser for a couple of seconds. “Understood. You won’t be bothered anymore.” She held it with care as she went back to her desk.

And that was why Petra always got a nice raise every year. Confident that he could finally get some work done now, Levi returned to sit down at his own desk, and noticed the partially eaten cake. As much as she was an annoying fuck, Hange was right in that he needed to do something for Eren, needed to get him another gift. The flowers hadn’t been a hundred percent successful, but they had made Eren open up a little, had gotten some sort of reaction out of Levi’s lover and he wanted to continue that momentum. So what to do now? Other than a fucking dildo.

He scrubbed his fingers through his hair for a few seconds then told himself to finish the security check. Get a little work done, let it clear his head and then focus on Eren. Maybe then he’d be calm enough to think up a suitable gift.

*******  
Eren all but jumped out of his seat once the ‘Symbolism in Art’ class was finished for the day; most of the time the two and half hour class was interesting enough to retain his attention, but today… he had a feeling the rest of the week was a lost cause for classes, but he couldn’t just give up on them, not if he wanted to maintain some sort of GPA. At least he shared this class with Annie, whom he tracked down in the hallway as she headed for the exit.

“Hey!” He scooted in between her left side and some guy busy checking texts on his phone and offered her a nervous grin. “Any chance I can copy your notes? I, ah, think I blanked out back there for a half hour or so.”

“Make it more like an hour – I almost threw a pen at your head at one point but you managed to stay awake.” She gave him a cool look, her pale blue eyes narrowed the slightest bit in disapproval, before she handed over her notebook. “Give that back to me at work tomorrow.”

“You have the afternoon shift too, right?”

“Yeah, and there better not be any drama like there was today.” Eren’s confusion must have been evident, because she rolled her eyes before tugging up the thick hoodie poking out of the leather jacket she wore. “Connie was going on and on about the cake he delivered for you. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with that one guy.”

“Oh, that.” Eren’s right hand, which held onto the notebook, rose up to press against the name on his chest before he forced it down and to tuck the borrowed notebook into his messenger bag. “Kinda difficult to do when he won’t leave me alone in the first place.” Ever since leaving the bakery, he’d had Lev- the bastard stuck in his head. What had Lev- the bastard done when he’d seen the cake? Had he eaten it? Surely he knew not to eat the flowers. What if he ate the flowers? Fuck.

“Well, sending him presents isn’t a good way to go about it, even if it’s a fucked up present,” Annie continued, as if reading Eren’s thoughts. “Poor Connie was all worried that he’d get in trouble if something happened to the guy.” Her eyes narrowed again. “You did think about that before you sent him off with the cake, right?”

Eren tugged on the strap on his bag. “Ymir didn’t let me put anything in the batter or the icing – not that I would have!” he insisted. “I’m not going to jail for the asshole, or getting anyone in trouble,” he muttered. For a moment he flashed back on the dungeon from his dreams, which caused him to shake his head. “Even if he- no matter what he did to me in the past, I don’t… I don’t want him dead,” Eren admitted. Which for some odd reason was true; there was a disturbing pain in his chest whenever he thought about Levi biting into one of the flowers and being sick. It was just… Eren had just been so *mad* about Levi leaving the things and believing that everything would be fine between them eventually, that he had to do *something*. He had just wanted to throw them back into Lev- dammit, the *bastard’s* face somehow. The cake had seemed like a good idea back then.

Except now… now he felt guilty for some damn reason. Why the hell he did when he’d suffered fifteen years or so of nightmares because of the bastard, and he couldn’t even pull off one lousy practical joke? Okay, so he’d done the éclairs yesterday, and it had been a bit of a mean thing with the cake, but…. “Gah, I’m overthinking things.” He frowned as he rubbed at the back of his hair, desperate for some caffeine or sleep or… something.

Annie laughed as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, amusement lightening up her pretty face and attracting attention from a couple of guys walking toward them – a couple of guys who gave Eren a curious look as if they were trying to figure out if he was her boyfriend. “Your poor brain, I’m sure it’s all worn out at this point.”

“Sheesh, you’re beginning to sound like Ymir,” Eren complained. “Be nice to me, okay? I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.”

“I am being nice, I lent you my notes,” Annie reminded him, but the words lacked her usual acerbic sting.

Eren shrugged as he hitched the messenger bag a little higher up on his left shoulder. “And I appreciate it, really. How about you join Armin and me for dinner, my treat, so I can thank you?”

The slight smile fell from Annie’s lips while she slipped her phone out of her right pocket and glanced at it. “I’d love to, but I’ve other plans for the night. You’ll just have to bring me a venti mocha with an extra shot of expresso next week to class. And don’t forget to return my notes tomorrow,” she warned him, her eyes narrowed and expression one of promised pain as she pointed her phone at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I swear to do both.” Eren held up his hands in surrender. “Be careful going home and see you tomorrow.”

“You too.” Annie waved to him and took the path that headed back to the Arrendale dorm, which left him alone as he made his way to Finch’s to meet up with Armin; was it just him or did she have something against his friend? That was like the… eighth time? Maybe more that she’d turned down an invite to hang with them, and Eren didn’t think he’d always asked her when it was just the three of them so it was a third wheel or two guys/one girl type thing. Not that he’d known Annie to be skittish about that stuff, since he’d seen her take down an asshole who got all handsy with her one night while out at a club with Ymir and Krista.

Still, he wished that she had come along tonight because with his current odd mood, he wasn’t real happy about meeting up with Armin; if his friend hadn’t texted him earlier to say that he’d finished his paper and needed to get out of his apartment for a little while, Eren would have begged off. Unfortunately, he’d put out the offer yesterday so…. He couldn’t afford to make Armin suspicious, not when Armin’s parents were good friends with Eren’s, and not when Armin talked to Mikasa all the time. As it was, there was only so much longer that Eren would be able to get by with texting his parents and friend, and if Armin sent them a message that he was acting weird on top of it….

Eren winced as he rubbed at the back of his head again. Yeah, he didn’t need any new complications in his life at the moment, not when Levi was more than enough. And there he was thinking about the bastard again, his right hand pressed against his chest. Eren did his best to put all thoughts of the man out of mind as he approached the popular hangout on the edge of campus.

Since it looked as if he’d beaten Armin to the place, he grabbed a booth and ordered a double expresso latte with caramel since he needed a bit of caffeine, then pulled out his phone to check his messages. There was one from his mom checking up on him and reminding him to call this weekend, another from Armin saying he might be a few minutes late, and several from Mikasa. Great, it looked as if Eren wouldn’t be able to put off talking to her much longer, and promised her that he’d call after dinner tonight; he could always say that he was tired from a long day of work and studying, and cut things short with needing to go over some notes before bed. He knew she just worried about him much like his parents did, but sheesh, sometimes he felt that he’d been saddled with a second mother. Why did everyone think that he couldn’t take care of himself? Okay, there’d been that one time when he was six when he’d been convinced that he could swing from the roof outside his bedroom window and land in the tree if he just tied a jump rope around his waist, but his left leg had healed up fine. And maybe he’d gotten into a few fights at school, but he’d been sticking up for other people. Just because some bully had half a foot and at least fifty pounds on him wasn’t any reason to back down. And maybe his first boyfriend had been a bit rough around the edges, but-

“Let me guess, Mikasa?”

Eren nearly spilled his latte onto the table when he jolted at the sound of Armin’s voice. “Eh?” He looked up to see his friend slide into the opposite booth, a weary grin on his face and a large backpack next to him. “How’d you guess?”

“Because you’re doing that angry texting thing but smiling at the same time.” Armin shrugged before he reached for Eren’s drink and took a sip. “Blech, too sweet.”

“Good, it’s not for you.” Eren stuck out his tongue then had a sip himself. “And yeah, apparently I’ve been ignoring her.”

“I know, I’ve been hearing all about it.” Armin paused to let their server know that he’d take an iced coffee then sighed. “She only backed off once I told her I had a paper to turn in, so do me a favor and call her, all right?”

Eren groaned when he heard that and could only hope that their friend would be appeased with a brief call later. “I already told her I would.” He frowned as he picked up the menu, even if he couldn’t focus on it just then. “Don’t know why she’s freaking out, I text her every day.”

“You know she seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to you.” Armin rubbed at the left side of his chest for a moment before picking up his own menu. “Didn’t happen to fail a test recently or get asked out on a date, did you?”

That hit a little too close to home. “No, my GPA is just fine and I’m too busy to date anyone,” Eren grumbled as he ducked his head. “Hey! Wanna split an order of wings?”

Armin stared at him for several seconds before shaking his head. “Sure, anything but the insane sauce – the lime cilantro sounds good.”

“Great, we’ll get a basket of them and I’ll have the black and blue burger.” For a moment, Eren was reminded of Levi again, and – no, not going there, not with Armin. “So, how did the paper turn out?” He forced himself to smile at his friend as he all but slammed the menu down onto the table.

Armin was quiet for a couple of seconds, and around then their server returned with his iced coffee and to take their food order. By the time the guy – Eren thought they might have taken a physics class together last semester – had left, Armin had a thoughtful expression on his face which *never* bode well for Eren. “You been getting enough sleep lately? You seem a bit high-strung tonight.”

Eren forced himself to let out a slow breath; just because Armin was asking about his sleep didn’t mean he knew about Levi. “Just… been having some bad dreams.” He forced a shaky grin as he touched his right hand to his chest for a moment, his fingertips rough against the material of his black sweatshirt. “You… well, yeah, it’s how it goes.”

Armin didn’t say anything for what seemed forever, and then he sighed and nodded as he touched his chest as well. “Not as bad as you, but yeah, it’s how it goes.” He didn’t talk much about ‘Annalie’, but from the little Eren and Mikasa could tell, it wasn’t all roses and sunshine for him when it came to his ‘name’, either; it was far from the only reason why Eren and Armin were friends, but it was a comfort none-the-less.

So Eren was grateful when Armin appeared to take that as a hint to drop the subject. “Now I didn’t talk to Mikasa for long because, you know, the massive paper I was determined to finish, but we did chat just enough for her to mention she was going to try out a new training regimen.” Armin leaned back in the booth with his iced coffee clutched in both hands. “I think she might take on a new coach.”

“Really? Will it increase her chances to get on an Olympic team?” Eren smiled at the thought of his dear friend winning a gold at fencing and allowed Armin to catch him up on the news from back home, willing to push aside his problems for a short while.

*******

Levi had just returned home after going all the way across town to the shop Erwin had recommended for Eren’s gift when his phone rang, which made him curse as he set his laptop bag – mindful of its contents this time – and box of take-out down on the kitchen island before he fished out his phone. Upon seeing the familiar number, he couldn’t help but smile as he answered the call. “I know, I’ve been a terrible son.”

On the other end of the line, his mother laughed, the sound a little tired and a lot delighted. “I don’t know about *terrible*, but it’s been a couple of days. What’s going on with my favorite child?”

“I’m your only child, last time I checked. You holding out on me?” He reached into the fridge for a bottle of water then leaned against the stainless steel door while he talked.

“Perish the thought! And you’re not answering the question. Is work that busy or have you suddenly discovered a thing called a social life, hmm?” Count on his mother to cut to the chase; Kuchel Ackerman could flirt and banter with the best of them, but she didn’t waste time when it came to something important, and Levi had never doubted that he was important to her. No, all he had to do was look at her chest whenever she wore a revealing enough top or when the weather was hot enough – not that his mother had ever hidden the fact that she bore his name.

So despite the fact that he hated causing her any concern, he hesitated only a moment before telling her the truth. “No… it’s just… I found Eren.” He admitted.

“Oh honey, that’s… wait, you don’t sound happy. Why aren’t you happy?” He could hear the worry plain as day in her lovely voice even over the phone. “What’s wrong?”

Levi sighed as he held the phone pinned between his right shoulder and ear so he could open the water. “For some reason his dreams are all fu- ah, messed up.” He tossed the cap onto the counter top and paused to take a sip, then held onto the phone again. “Claims that I beat him up in them, so he’s not too happy to see me.”

“What? How can that be possible? You’d never do that to someone you love! What’s causing this?” His mother sounded upset and a little angry, and despite the depressing topic, Levi smiled a little at the mental image of her with fire in her eyes and her hands clenched into fists, ready to take on the world for his sake. “Are you sure it’s really your Eren?”

“Yeah, he recognized me and everything.” Levi closed his eyes for a moment as memories from his past life with Eren came rushing forward, flashes of that explosive temper in much better situations, twisted into passion that – ah, yeah, not the time, he told himself. Not when talking to his mother. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I *am* going to figure it out. Erwin and Hange have butted in as well and are determined to help out, pain in the asses that they are.”

Long used to hearing him refer to his friends like that, his mother chuckled a little at the reference. “They’re good for you,” she murmured. “I don’t know why this is happening to you, why… you deserve your happiness, hon, but if you need anything, let me know, all right? Promise me that. Even if it’s just to talk or for me to come out there.”

Levi felt his throat go tight at his mother’s unconditional support and had to have another sip of water before he could speak. “Yeah, thanks Mum.”

“I’m serious,” his mother chided before she clicked her tongue. “If I think you’re in trouble, you know I won’t hesitate to call Erwin.”

“He’s a shi-ah, dirty traitor,” Levi growled and nearly squeezed the bottle of water, but stopped just in time before there was a mess.

“Hmm, maybe, but a reliable source of information.” His mother sounded much too smug just then. “So, tell me everything or else I’ll hang up and call him.”

He adored the woman, he really did, but there were times when she made him feel as if he was still ten years old. Sighing as he set the water down on the island and then fetched a fork so he could eat his grilled chicken salad while he talked, he put the phone on speaker and prepared for a long-ass conversation with his mother/inquisitor.

*******

Pain, there was pain, so much pain it felt as if Eren was being torn apart, as if something was being shoved into his chest with the intent to then rip his body into pieces. Yet as horrible as that agony was, insidious and gnawing and overwhelming, it paled to the shattering sense of blame that bore down on him, so pervasive that it almost made the pain seem… welcome. And intertwined with the two all-encompassing emotions was the knowledge that he’d lost something so important and vital, lost-

Eren woke up to the blaring sound of his phone, the sheets of his bed twisted about his legs and the duvet on the floor, yet covered in sweat and chest heaving from the after-effects of the nightmare. *The* nightmare. “Fuck.” He hunched over with his head cradled in his hands and struggled to breathe evenly, emotions still in turmoil despite the fact that he was now awake. Despite the dreams of being kicked around, of cold grey eyes and callous death threats, the one he hated the most was *this* one, the one which left him a useless wreck and he didn’t even *see* anything, just felt way too much and couldn’t figure out anything and… and… “Fuck,” he repeated. He hated it.

He scrubbed his hands over his head and then forced himself off of the bed so he could go grab a shower; there were a lot of things he needed to do today before class, such as scan Annie’s notes, stock up on some groceries, and clean his apartment since Ymir and Krista were coming over dinner and maybe Annie as well since he figured why not extend the invite – it should prevent Krista from trying to fix him up with anyone again. Right now… yeah not a good time. While it might be a good way to get Lev- the bastard off of his back, Eren’s head just wasn’t in a good place to do the poor guy he dated any justice.

And while on the topic of the bastard... Eren gave the hot water faucet a savage twist then added just enough cold water to save himself a nasty burn before jumping into the shower. He supposed that he should check out if the guy showed up at the bakery that morning and that nothing had happened with the cake, just to be on the safe side. Concern and guilt warred with the idea of possibly running into Levi, but if he timed it right, Le- dammit, the bastard should have been and gone at the bakery when he stopped by.

Exhausted by the morning’s dream, Eren braced his hands against the tiled wall and allowed the hot water to fall down along his shoulders and back. He really wished that he could figure out what the hell it meant and why it was so different from the rest, and why it affected him so much. He supposed it was why in part he had taken to studying psychology, and that awful sense of guilt and loss had nudged him toward grief consoling at that; he didn’t want anyone else to suffer those feelings, or at least to suffer them for long. Maybe somewhere along the way he’d find a resolution to his own demons.

The water felt so good and he’d been so short of sleep the last couple of days that he didn’t realize that he’d ended up ‘zoning’ out a bit until the water began to cool off a little. Shaking his head, he cursed himself out for wasting so much time in the shower and rushed through washing up, well aware that he now had that much less time to get everything done before starting class.

*******

Levi frowned at the line in front of him, a bunch of losers who needed a pathetic mix of sugar, fat and butter to get themselves through the day. It wasn’t as if he – oh, alright, the croissants were good, but he didn’t *need* them, and he was only coming to the damn bakery so much now because of Eren. Eren and Hange, who was going to have a heart attack from all the shitty éclairs she was eating anymore; Moblit better be making her eat salads at lunch or something, or looking into a gym membership. Then Levi thought about that lunatic let loose around weights and exercise equipment and winced.

The asshole manager helped a woman out the door with a *huge* cardboard box, which left one more person in line in front of Levi, and he still didn’t see any sign of Eren. Was he off today? He didn’t have class for another couple of hours, Levi knew that much from hacking into the university’s online records, but the damn bakery didn’t have anything like that. So he had to stand there with growing impatience as some shitstain took what had to be five minutes to figure out that they wanted a couple of bearclaws and a cup of coffee before he finally reached the counter, only to find the girl from yesterday, the one with the clueless expression and long brown ponytail, staring at him with evident apprehension.

“Uhm, ah, hi?” she squeaked as she waved at him with an icing-smeared glove. “Do you want something? The cake donuts came out really good today.”

“Where’s Eren?” Screw social niceties, he wanted to see his lover.

The girl’s smile faltered a little, and he thought he saw a determined gleam in her brown eyes for a moment before she ducked her head. “Ah, well, he’s not here so, uhm, a donut?” She reached for one of the chocolate cake ones, covered in sprinkles, and held it up. “Everything’s better after something good to eat.”

Was she brain dead or something? Had inhaled too much fucking flour? Levi stared at her in… was it disgust or horror? when the door rang to announce the presence of yet another sugar addicted idiot.

“Sasha! Hey did Lev- the bast-ahh! Shit!”

Recognizing Eren’s panicked voice, Levi turned around to look past the young woman waiting behind him enraptured with whatever was on her phone to see Eren come to a sudden halt a few feet away, his dark brown hair a damp ratty mess as if he hadn’t bothered to do anything with it after getting out of the shower and his face flushed as if he’d just run several blocks. He looked… he looked so damn gorgeous, his teal eyes made all the brighter because of the slight flush and how his bangs fell onto his face; Levi had so many memories of him just like this, from after practice, after fighting, after sex…. He wanted to go over to Eren and pull him close, to grab a handful of that soft, unruly hair and-

“Eren! I didn’t think I’d see you today,” the girl, Sasha, called out.

“Uhm, yeah, I, uhm, came to pick up my paycheck,” Eren stuttered out as he took a cautious step forward, his attention locked on Levi.

“But we don’t get paid until Monday.”

“Sasha!” Eren finally looked away as he scrubbed at his face with his hands. “You… thanks, okay?” He bit at his bottom lip as he glanced at Levi before looking aside. “So, uhm, you’re here again.”

Feeling a bit smug at the moment, Levi allowed himself a small smile. “Yes, for some reason I keep coming back.” He turned toward the girl and rolled his eyes when he found her munching on the donut. “Two dozen, make sure there’s some chocolate croissants, éclairs and apple fritters in there.” If this was going to become a regular thing, he refused to feed everyone, but Petra deserved a treat and Hange would be unbearable without her crack.

“Aye aye, sir.” Sasha saluted him with the last bite of her donut before moving from the register.

“And put on a fresh glove, dammit!”

“Yeah, you better hope Shadis doesn’t see you,” Eren warned the girl.

“Don’t worry, he’s busy with Flecher, so I’m good for at least ten minutes!”

Eren sighed while he rubbed at the back of his head, his expression one as if he’d make a run for the door at any moment, so Levi distracted him before he could. “So, feel a strong urge to come in on your day off or what?” he drawled as he folded his arms over his chest, mindful of the small package tucked inside his satchel.

Eren started at the question and glared at Sasha for a couple of seconds before he shook his head. “Not really, and I’ll be in la- ah, not really.”

Ah, so someone worked the afternoon shift on Thursdays, good to know. Levi clicked his tongue as he examined his lover and noted how it looked as if Eren really had just gotten out of the shower with the tousled hair, the sweat pants, the shoes without socks and the barely buttoned jacket. “Well, it looks as if you really wanted to be here.” His eyes narrowed and his smile took on a cruel edge. “What, wanted to make sure you didn’t lose a customer? That I really didn’t ‘take a big bite’?”

His dreams had already shown him how adorable Eren could be when all flustered and irate, but it wasn’t anything compared to the real world. “You – you’re *such* an asshole!”

“Yeah, but not asshole enough to send someone a cake with poisonous flowers on it.”

That statement caused some of Eren’s anger to deflate, as well as attract some attention from the other customer in the store; she actually looked up from her phone for a few seconds. Levi sighed and jerked his right hand through his bangs then shook his head. “Give me a minute, okay?” He turned around to find that Sasha had his pastries ready, and gave her some cash. “Here.”

“Uhm, one moment for your change.”

“Keep it, put it toward my next order.” He had a feeling he’d be back – a ‘feeling’ that followed him out of the bakery with a rather sullen expression once he grabbed the bag of boxes which Sasha handed over with a smile.

The girl with the phone rushed had forward to place her order as soon as he turned to leave, and what looked to be another college student held the door open for Levi when he and Eren went to go outside. They didn’t say anything on the way to Levi’s car, though Eren did arch an eyebrow as soon as he saw it. “Wow, whatever you do must pay well.”

“You didn’t find that out when you sent your friend with the cake?”

Eren’s dusky cheeks took on a faint blush when he shook his head. “I just figured out where you worked, not what you do there.” He let out a slow breath and shook his head again. “Look, I’m sorry for the cake, all right?” There was a flash of anger in his lovely eyes as he scowled at Levi. “The flowers – it wasn’t a good idea to put them on there, but I was pissed. You come in here and act like we’re going to get together, you give me things like you know me and… I was mad.” Some of his renewed anger seemed to leave as if he had vented it out with the rush of words. “Just wanted to make sure nothing bad happened,” he mumbled as he glanced at the concrete and kicked at a stray pebble.

So Eren had been worried about him; something inside of Levi’s chest, something that had been wound tight ever since he’d walked inside the bakery two days ago and seen the man he’d loved in his past life and ever since that first dream in this one run away from him loosen inside of his chest. “Okay, well, prepare to be pissed off again.” When Eren’s head jerked up and the scowling resumed, Levi reached into his bag to pull out the small box which he’d spent several hours tracking down last night. “I figured since you gave me something last night, I should give you something.”

“Of all the – I sent you a cake with deadly flowers on it, flowers which you gave me in the first place!” Eren ranted as he snatched up the box; for a moment Levi was afraid he was going to throw it into oncoming traffic. “Are you even paying attention to what’s going on – wait, I know this shop.” Eren frowned as he studied the small tag attached to the ribbon. “They make some of the best candies around.”

“And you don’t have to worry about any of them being poisoned,” Levi couldn’t resist adding, then reminded himself to shut up when Eren glared at him for it. “I… you liked them… well, you liked them back then. I guess I thought you might still like them now.”

The glare turned into a frown as Eren tugged off the fancy silver ribbon and lifted the lid of the small box to reveal the half dozen small, chocolate covered caramels nestled inside; Levi had forced himself to buy just a small box of the expensive treats, reminiscent of the handful that he’d been able to give to Eren back in the past. From what he could tell, candies like that had been precious – at least for ordinary people like them – and Eren had savored each one both for the taste and the effort Levi had put into obtaining the gifts for him.

Eren’s breath hitched as he picked one of the small caramels from the box. “These… yeah, I love caramel. I get it a lot of things, I love it so much.” He raised it to his mouth and only hesitated for a moment before pushing it past his lips, and Levi felt his throat grow tight at the sight of the candy slipping into Eren’s mouth, at the finger being swiped by that pink tongue. “Oh, they’re just as good as I heard.” For a moment Eren smiled as he chewed on the treat, his expression delighted, and it was as if they were back *then*, back in one of Levi’s dreams that he found himself taking a step forward. The motion made Eren start and the frown returned. “How did you know?” he snapped even as he held the box clutched to his chest.

Literally one step forward and two steps back, Levi thought to himself as he ran his right hand over his hair, but still, one step forward. “I told you, I remember giving them to you in the past.” He sighed when Eren’s expression turned doubtful. “The first time… ah, I think they were meant for someone else but they ended up with some stuff of mine, and you were with me when we found them. I don’t like sweet shit like that so I gave them to you.” He’d never forget how happy it had made Eren, or how sweet the kisses had been afterward.

Eren continued to glower at him for a few more seconds and then the expression wavered. “I don’t… I don’t get this. How can you dream up stuff like that and with me, it’s being locked up and getting my ass kicked and you telling me that if I mess up just *once*, you’re responsible for taking me down? It’s just-“ He let out a shaky breath when he realized he was crushing the box of caramels then tucked them into the pocket of his red jacket instead. “I don’t understand this.” He sounded as confused as Levi felt.

“Join the fucking club,” Levi grumbled as he tugged on the strap of his satchel, the laptop growing heavy on his shoulder. “But I know we’re not going to figure any of this shit out if all we do is send obscene pastries to each other – amusing as fuck as they are, I give you that – and make my coworkers fat while I contribute to your salary. Don’t you think we should sit down and talk it out?” He felt as he had just ripped out his heart and handed it over to Eren while he spoke, and only years of talking his way out of all the various shit he’d gotten himself into helped to keep his expression blank and voice mostly even.

Still, something must have gotten through because at first Eren was his usual indignant, ready to raise hell self… and then he glanced aside and once more toed at the ground, a pensive look on his face. He let out another slow breath as he tugged at his overlong bangs and seemed to consider what Levi had just said for a few seconds while a couple of people walked by, the entire time which Levi spent on tether hooks. “This isn’t just a pathetic excuse to get me out on a date, is it? Because it’s not going to happen.” Yet he didn’t sound as emphatic about that as he had about blocking Levi from his life the other day.

“You can pick the time and place," Levi assured him as he did his best not to come across as too eager or hopeful. “Just… not some greasepit or whatever crap you college kids think is cool but is actually a health hazard,” he griped. “I’ll pay just to avoid having to get a shitty tetanus shot afterwards.”

Eren appeared ready to take offense at that, and then his eyes went unfocused for a few seconds. “Oh, yeah, that would freak you out.” There was a slight downturn to his lips yet he didn’t seem too upset at the moment. “I think I’ll be able to pick a decent place.”

Levi had to hope that whatever dream/memory had just resurfaced wasn’t a bad one, which was strengthened when there wasn’t another flare-up of Eren’s temper. “Great, so call or text me when you’re free.” He slipped his left hand into the leather bag and pulled free one of his business cards which also had his personal number on it, then handed it over to Eren. “It’s better than a cake any day, even if that one was decent without the flowers.”

Once again, there was a slight hint of red to Eren’s cheeks as he accepted the card, even as his eyes narrowed. “What, you don’t appreciate the personal touch? Just wait to see what I’ve got lined up for you next week,” he promised as he studied the card. “’Levi… Ackerman’?” There was an odd look on his face when he spoke Levi’s last name.

“What, you expecting something different?”

“No, it’s… just common, I guess. Maybe I thought you’d have something weird.” Before Levi could question that assumption, Eren’s expression smoothed out into a smile. “’Corporate and cyber security?’ Now that sounds impressive.”

Levi shrugged and adjusted the strap of his bag. “Just means I make sure the bad guys don’t get into our company one way or another.”

Eren started at something, then tucked the card into the same pocket which held the caramels. “Speaking of which, you should probably be getting to work, huh?” He waved aside Levi’s denial and shook his head. “Yeah, you should, and I have things to do before class today.” He fell quiet as he seemed to study Levi for a few seconds. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you’re right, I want answers. I also don’t want to worry about running into you everywhere I go, and I’m not giving up or hiding away when I still have a few years to get my degree. So we figure this stuff out and then we go about our lives, understand?”

“I get it.” Levi’s right hand clenched around the handle of the bag holding the pastries while he forced himself to nod. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Good.” Eren slid his hands into the pocket of his coat, and the determined jut to his jaw relaxed a little. “You really should get to work before you get into trouble. I’ll call you tomorrow or Saturday. Oh, and I’m off the next few days, so don’t show up here and harass everyone, okay? I’ll call you.”

Like he wouldn’t be a bundle of nerves until he got the call, Levi thought as he managed as nonchalant a nod as possible. “Whatever. Try not to poison anyone else until then – I’m not coming to bail your ass out of jail.”

“Oh for – go to work, old man,” Eren all but shouted as he spun around to leave, his eyes flashing and jaw set once more. “Maybe some criminal will beat some sense into you.”

“How about you try not to flunk out!” Levi grinned when Eren held up his left hand, the middle finger extended in a clear message, then headed to his car so he could make it to work more or less on time and give Hange her precious sugar rush of the day.

It wasn’t the moments he recalled with him sitting beside Eren and the two of them enjoying a quiet cup of tea together, or huddled together for warmth in the middle of nowhere, or even the ones of them curled up in bed together, spent from sex yet still desperate for the feel of each other. Yet he’d take it, because like Hange had said, ‘baby steps’. They’d get there eventually – Levi would do whatever it took to ensure that.

*******

Finished with the last of the dishes he’d left soaking overnight, Eren checked the kitchen to see if he’d missed anything; it hadn’t been a wild get-together by any means, but Annie tended to relax a little when in a small group of people she trusted, and Ymir had stirred up shit by mocking the theater major’s fellow students. Which, okay, some were a bit out there, but Annie wasn’t in the drama classes but the production and design ones; in other words, she was more than handy with an improvised prop, which she’d proven to Ymir with the chopsticks from the Chinese take-out last night, leading to a mock duel which Annie had won hands’ down. Though Ymir’s ‘dying’ moments were worthy of some sort of award….

Eren shook his head as he righted some scattered pillows and knocked over knick-knacks, but other than that, it didn’t take too long to make his apartment presentable once again. All that he had on his agenda for the day was to do some laundry before heading off to class and then see if anyone wanted to go out for the night. Oh, he really should call his parents later, and he still had to decide if he wanted to deal with Levi today or tomorrow. The reminder about his promise to the man made him frown, especially in light of the past night’s dream.

For once… for once it hadn’t been that bad. It had been a new one, which was the most confusing thing, just the two of them sitting on top of some old stone building and looking out upon a huge forest, sitting there and saying nothing. It had been… oddly peaceful. No threats, no violence, nothing but what Eren swore had been companionable silence. Was that the type of dreams that Levi had on a regular basis? If so, no wonder he thought there was some hope for them….

Hating how confused this whole mess made him feel, Eren picked up the green pillow he had just returned to his couch and gave it a punch in an attempt to vent some of the anger he felt; maybe he should head to campus and work out for a little bit, pound a punching bag until he wasn’t so tempted to take a swing at someone and save the laundry for tomorrow. At the very least, it probably wouldn’t hurt to get a run in, something he hadn’t had a chance to do too much this week between work and class and feeling so tired.

Feeling better about having some sort of plan in mind – vent some frustration, clear his mind before he called his parents – Eren went to change into some sweats and then grabbed his phone and keys when he heard a knock on his front door.

Wondering if it was Armin stopping by for a visit or Ymir to see if he was willing to part with the leftover coffee cake he’d made for dessert yesterday, he didn’t think anything about opening up the door without checking – and nearly tripped over his feet when he saw who was on the other side. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Mikasa’s dark eyes narrowed in evident displeasure as she shouldered him out of the way. “And hello to you, too.” There was a note of hurt in her quiet voice as she set the large duffel bag that had been hooked over her left shoulder down on the couch then turned to face him.

Eren felt a flush of embarrassment before he sighed and reached out to give her a hug. “I’m sorry, but it’s a bit of a shock, seeing you all of a sudden. It’s really good to see you, though, but what the heck are you doing here? I thought you were busy training.”

A faint hum escaped from Mikasa as she hugged him back, her muscular arms firm as they wrapped around him. “That’s just it, I am training.” When he pulled away to give her a curious look, she smiled, the strands of her chin-length black hair falling across her eyes. “I’m training *here*.”

“What?” Eren wondered if he was still in bed and dreaming this whole conversation. “What about Coach Martinez?”

She shook her head and began to unzip the blue and white jacket she wore. “He agrees that I need to shake up my training a little, and there’s a really good coach here on campus – Alex Geiss. She agreed to take me on for the next couple of months.”

Eren knew that Trost had a very good fencing team, so he shouldn’t be surprised that Mikasa had found a way to follow him somehow; she had fretted over him leaving Shiganshina last fall and only the fact that she was training so hard had kept her from following then. “What about your parents? Can they afford to lose you from the studio?”

Mikasa shrugged as she glanced around the apartment as if to inspect it. “I’m so busy training anymore that I can’t help out too often, and they’ve always been supportive of my goals. I get enough of a stipend now that I won at Nationals that money’s not an issue, and the more I win, the better publicity it is for them.”

He guessed that he shouldn’t be too surprised to hear that, but Mikasa was like him, an only child, and had devoted the last several years of her life to seeing how far she could get in the world of competitive fencing. Her skill had amazed him, and been a bit of a welcome relief; it gave her something to focus on that wasn’t *him*, and while he’d missed her a lot when he’d left Shiganshina had also been somewhat relieved at having a bit of space.

“As long as it’s a good move for you,” he settled on as he ran his right hand through his hair. A little nervous with the way she continued looking around his apartment – it wasn’t much, he hadn’t wanted his parents to spend that much on him but it was large enough so he could invite a few friends over and in a newer building – he gave a slight laugh. “Uhm, you do have a place to stay, right?”

“Yes, Coach Geiss has a spare room.” Mikasa stopped examining the place and gave a slight nod as if she approved of the well-lit room with its simple furniture. “I see you’re keeping the place nice and clean.”

“I don’t know why everyone expects me to be a slob.” Eren realized that he probably wouldn’t be able to get his run in now and sighed. “So, how about some tea? Something to eat? I’ve got some coffee cake left over.”

Mikasa perked up upon hearing that. “Oh, you made it?” When he nodded, she smiled and glanced around, then headed toward his kitchen. “That would be wonderful.”

“I’ve class in another hour or so, but we can chat for a little while and if this coach lives near the campus, go there together.” Eren followed her and watched her sit down at his small kitchen table while he filled the electric kettle with fresh water. “Does Armin know you’re here?” Somehow he wasn’t surprised when she nodded. “We’ll have to get together tonight to celebrate your arrival.”

“Yes, it’ll be like old times.” Mikasa’s dark brown eyes were intent on him as he went to fetch the cake for her. “You look a little tired, have you been sleeping lately?”

Eren forced himself to smile and shake his head at the question. “Same as usual – you know how the dreams come and go.” Oh yeah, he was going to *kill* Armin when he got the chance – what were the odds that his friend hadn’t let something slip? Something about him being jumpy or looking bad or having too many bad dreams, and Mikasa probably had packed everything last night to come out here. Shit. *Shit* What was he going to do now?

He cut her a large slice of cake, put a clean fork on the plate and then set it on front of her on the table. However, when he went to go back to the counter to prepare them both a cup of tea, she caught the sleeve of his white jersey and gave it a slight tug. “Are you really okay? You do look tired, and I can’t help but feel that something’s wrong.” She frowned at him, and he knew that slight show of concern was a lot when it came to her. “Are you seeing someone?”

As much as she meant to him, he just shook his head as he did his best not to overreact. “What? No I’m too busy with school. Look, I’m good, honest. I’ll be better once this semester is done, I promise.” When the semester was done and Levi gone from his life.

“All right.” She didn’t sound convinced, that slight frown lingering on her lovely face, but she picked up the fork and took a bite of the cake. “It’s delicious,” she told him after a moment.

“Thanks.” Eren smiled at her before he turned around so he could fetch a tin of tea, and wondered what the hell he’d done in a past life for the current one to be so fucked up. Whatever was going on with him and Levi, he needed it resolved *now*, before Mikasa realized that the bastard was in Trost.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG, the next chapter... it's going to be SO MUCH FUN. Even more fun than the Levi and Moblit scene (really, Hange, wtf?). Well, fun to write....


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's a new chapter! Once again, thanks so much for all the kudos and comments left on the previous ones!
> 
> Hmm, I know there were one or two mistakes on the previous chapter, I need to go back and take care of it when I have the time....
> 
> I hope to have another chapter up soon, but not sure if I'll get it up before this weekend - I'll be off at Anime Milwaukee this weekend (if you see Itori with a mask from Tokyo Ghoul and a nekojita badge, that should be me!).

*******

Mikasa sat on the dark grey couch in Eren’s apartment and continued to text with Armin while Eren talked to his mother in the kitchen. /He still won’t tell me what’s going on/ she sent.

Meanwhile, it sounded as if Eren was being given an earful from his mother. “Yes, yes, I know… I haven’t forgotten, I promise. I am. I *am*. Sheesh, am I like, four years old or something? Mom! I know how to feed myself! Do I need to send you pics or something?” There was a low groan and it sounded as if Eren had kicked something hollow, followed by a muffled sound of pain. “That was a joke, Mom. Yes, I’m sorry, and no, I’m not trying to be a smart ass.”

Mikasa’s phone vibrated to let her know that Armin answered, and she frowned at the message. /Maybe he’s stressed/. The sheepish smiley face did *not* help her mood at all.

“Well you know, everyone says I take a lot after you, so….” Even with her back turned to him, Mikasa could tell Eren was grinning just then. “Yes, ma’am, very grateful that there’s about two hundred miles between us right now, not that I think it’ll stop you for long.” Whatever it was that Mrs. Jaeger had said just then made him laugh, the sound so warm and cheerful that Mikasa couldn’t help but smile in return.

/No he’s lying about something. I always know/ she typed back to Armin. /I’ll figure it out. Coming over soon?/

“Okay, okay, I’ll call more often, I promise. Don’t unleash the hounds just yet. Besides, you know Mikasa’s just as good as you being here.” Mikasa twitched at the hint of exasperation in Eren’s voice, but she refused to feel guilty about showing up out of the blue like this. “Yeah, the three of us are hanging out tonight. Okay. Love you, too.” Eren let out a slow breath as something was set down on the counter, and then he opened the fridge. “Hey, is Armin on his way?”

“That’s just what I asked him,” Mikasa shouted back as she waited for their friend’s response. “Ah, yes, he’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”

“Great, I’ll get the nachos started then.”

Careful to clear the conversation history from her phone – Eren never went snooping on it, but there were times when they used each other’s and she didn’t want him to see it by accident – Mikasa then set it aside before she got up to join him in the kitchen. Just being with him like this eased a tightness in her chest that had been there ever since he’d left home to come to Trost for university, and it was such a relief to see him, to know he was all right. Intellectually, she knew he was able to look out for himself, that he was capable and mature enough… but he was so precious to her, so special that she couldn’t help but worry. It didn’t help that his emails and texts the last couple of days had seemed off, that she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was *wrong*. She had been planning to come to Trost anyway, unhappy about being so far from Eren and Armin, and had just sped up her departure after hearing from Armin that Eren appeared stressed about something.

“Can I help?” she offered as she watched him fetch the cheese from the fridge.

“Grab a platter from the cupboard, okay?” He pointed at the white painted cupboard to the left of him as he set the bags of shredded cheese on the counter, near the bags of tortilla chips he must have picked up after his class. Mikasa opened the doors and found a couple of large plates, which she grabbed two of and handed them to Eren; he smiled in thanks, which always prompted one in return from her; not for the first time, she wondered why he couldn’t bear her name as well, why it was that he was so special to her and had the name of someone who caused him so much pain in return… but no one said life was fair. She knew he cared about her, that he shared his life with her and loved her in his own way, and that was enough. As long as he was safe and happy, it was enough.

“What about the oven?”

“Hmm, three-twenty-five,” he told her as he began to layer the chips and cheese on one of the plates. Used to helping him with snacks from all the evenings the three of them had spent together, Mikasa checked the oven, removed the various trays and pans stored inside to set on the counter then turned it on. Once the platter was covered, Eren set it on one the cookie trays then put it in the oven – which was right around when Armin arrived.

Mikasa went to answer the door, and laughed when she was hugged by her friend. “You look so good!” he told her, one arm tight around her back while the other hand held a bag full of something.

“Thank you.” He looked good as well, his blond hair a little longer and almost to his shoulders, and it looked as if he had put on a couple of pounds. Though… she tilted her head to the side while she stepped back into the apartment. “Hmm, you look like you could use some more sleep, too.”

Armin sighed as he entered the apartment then handed her the bag so he could remove his denim jacket and tennis shoes. “I know, I know. I finished the paper from hell and then had to catch up on all of my other assignments.”

“I keep telling him he needs to change his major,” Eren shouted from the kitchen. “I don’t know why you two have to be such over-achievers!”

“I thought you were supposed to figure out all of our issues,” Armin shouted back while he grinned at Mikasa.

“Please, I do *not* need to know about your mommy issues or deep-seated fears – I’ve already got enough night- yeah, I don’t need to know.” Having leaned out of the kitchen so he could look at them, Eren’s smile slipped as if he had brought up a bad topic. “Ah, nachos will be done soon, and I’ll make some mini-pizzas. What toppings do you want?”

“Mushrooms and peppers for me,” Armin called out. “And I brought that flavored root beer you like.”

That appeared to restore Eren’s good mood. “Thanks! What about you, Mikasa?”

“Whatever protein you have since I’m in training.”

“Chicken and mushrooms good?”

“Yes, please.” She took the bag of drinks into the kitchen so some of them could be put into the fridge, and figured the salted caramel root beer was Eren’s while the lime flavored water was hers. “I don’t even want to know,” she said as she set out one of the bottles near him on the counter

A mulish expression came over his face as he stretched out some small round circles of dough on another cookie sheet. “It’s really good.”

“If you say so.” She shook her head as she opened the flavored water. “Between stuff like that and you working in a bakery, I don’t know how you remain in shape.”

“I do work out,” he whined. “And I don’t eat much from the bakery, I just like working there.” Then there was another odd look which flashed across his face, gone too fast for her to figure out. “Besides, you like the stuff I make.”

“Yes, but I’m working out several hours a day, I can afford it.” Her eyes narrowed as she took a sip of water. “So everything is all right at the bakery?”

Eren was quiet while he finished stretching out one of the mini-pizzas. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I mean, it’s just a job, but it’s good.”

“Hmm.” Mikasa took another sip of her water and glanced aside, away from the sight of Eren’s slightly red ears.

So, something was going on with his part-time job, and something was also going on whenever she asked him if he was seeing anyone. Was he seeing someone at the bakery? She didn’t understand why he was lying to her like this, and she bet that if she asked Armin if he’d picked up on Eren’s tell when asking about a potential boyfriend, he’d have noticed it, too – there was no way that Armin wouldn’t pass along the fact that Eren was dating to her. She wouldn’t get jealous over the fact… well, okay, maybe a little, but she *would* make sure that whoever it was, that they were worthy of Eren. There wouldn’t be a repeat of that Sam asshole if she could help it.

“Hey, can you check if the nachos are done and finish them up?”

“Sure.” Mikasa smoothed her left hand along Eren’s back as she passed behind him on the way to the stove, and warmed at the smile he gave her in thanks. No, she’d find out what he was hiding since it was obviously causing him some distress, and if it was some guy… well, Sam Anderson had learned a rather painful lesson about messing with her most important person like that, and this asshole would, too.

*******

Sitting at the kitchen table with his phone in his hand, Eren stared at the business card Levi had given him and worked up the nerve to call or text the man; the latest dream had left him feeling all out of sorts, and not for the usual reasons. After a few more seconds of staring at the card and debating between sending a text or not, he dialed the number.

“Ackerman speaking.”

Was it just him, or did it sound as if the bastard was a bit hopeful there? Eren cleared his throat before he answered. “Ah, it’s me, uhm, Eren Jaeger. I, uhm, was calling to see if you wanted to meet up today if you’re not busy.”

There was only a moment’s hesitation before Levi answered. “What time and where?”

Yeah, someone wasn’t eager at all, were they? Eren rubbed at the back of his neck in a vain hope to relieve some tension as he gave the matter some thought. “How about two pm at Mocha Loco? You know where that is?” It wasn’t his favorite choice of a hangout, but it should be up to the man’s exacting standards of cleanliness, from what he could recall from his dreams.

Levi did that clicking thing with his tongue. “The place that charges like five dollars for just a plain coffee?”

“Well, I usually prefer Finch’s, but….”

“Mocha Loco is too pompous to fail a health inspection – they probably use bottled water even when they mop the floor so fuck it, five dollar coffee it is,” Levi insisted.

“And better yet, you’re paying for it,” Eren just had to point out; if he was going through with this, with hanging out with the *bastard*, he had to get his satisfaction where he could.

“Yeah, yeah, see you at two.” Levi didn’t say anything else before he hung up.

For some reason, Eren stared at his phone and… what? Was he upset that the conversation had ended like that? That he and Levi… okay, this whole ‘name’ thing had to be fucking with his head, big time. He needed to sit down with Levi – with the *bastard* and figure out what was going on, why his dreams were changing and why Lev- why the *bastard* had different dreams all together, and then get Le- the *bastard*, DAMMIT, out of his life all together. Because for all these years, Levi had been someone to fear, someone to hate, and then he meets the man and….

“I am so fucked up,” Eren muttered as he slapped his phone onto the table and scrubbed his fingers along his scalp. Maybe he should offer up his case in Morinello’s class and see if his professor or fellow students could figure out this… this *mess* he was in. Because he was utterly clueless and sinking fast.

The sudden ‘ping’ from his phone nearly made him jump from his chair, and he turned it over with a trembling hand to see a text from Mikasa. Feeling as if the universe truly did hate him all of a sudden, Eren swiped the screen to reveal the message, and let out a slow breath when of course his close friend wanted to hang out that afternoon.

/Sorry L have study session w/ friend in little bit/ he sent back, his face heated as he lied to Mikasa.

There was a minute or two wait before she replied. /OK training later will call when done/.

A bit surprised that she had accepted his excuse that easily, Eren frowned at his phone for a couple of seconds before he set it aside, then got up so he could see about getting some stuff done before he headed out to meet up with Levi.

*******

Mikasa frowned at her phone while her left hand rubbed at her chest; something didn’t feel right, and it had to do with Eren. Every time she asked him a question about what was going on in his life, he tried to laugh it off or gave her an answer that was some sort of lie, and she suspected that this latest one wasn’t any different from the others. Why couldn’t he tell her the truth? There hadn’t been any secrets before he had come to Trost, so what was different now?

She hated not knowing the answer, but she was determined to find it out all the same. So Eren would be out this afternoon? She did have training later, but she still had some time to attempt to track him down and see what he really was doing – she refused to feel guilty about it because she had his best interests at heart. Something was affecting her ‘name’, and she wouldn’t rest until she discovered just what that was.

*******

Levi stood in in his walk-in closet while he attempted to figure out what to wear to his date with Eren in another two hours. Business casual? Power suit? Something a bit more casual yet still pretentious? Fuck, he was hopeless at this shit.

He’d known since he was about eleven that he had someone out there whom he loved, who understood him and would put up with his shit. So yeah, the whole ‘dating’ crap hadn’t been his strong suit, not when he had waited for so long to cross paths with Eren, with the one person who would accept his acerbic personality and shitty sense of humor and… well, would accept *him*. And now he’d met him and things were all fucked up but moving in a somewhat hopeful direction. Except for the fact that he had to meet up with Eren and he had no fucking clue what to wear.

The last few times Eren had seen him, he’d been dressed for work. So yeah, at least he’d been dressed nice, since Erwin had a rather strong dress code at Survey Enterprises – well, except for Hange – that and Levi enjoyed dressing up now that he could afford it. His mother had done the best she could, being a single parent, and his uncle had pitched in as well, but he hadn’t come from anywhere near as well off a family as Eren. So what the fuck did he wear to impress a kid who had grown up in an upper-middle class family and had told him to come to a shitty hipster coffee house? Never mind the fact that Levi had told him to pick something that would – okay, what the hell to wear?

Wavering between a pair of wool slacks and an of expensive as fuck ‘athletic’ pants (he would never allow Petra to drag him into a lululemon store again, but yeah, his ass did look good in them and it wouldn’t hurt to remind the kid about some of his finer points right about now), he gritted his teeth together as he resigned defeat and pulled his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans. Flicking through to Erwin’s number in his contacts, he hesitated only a couple of seconds before dialing the asshole so his friend could come over and help him decide what the hell to wear.

*******

Eren’s hand trembled and his stomach felt queasy as he pushed open the door to the coffee shop where he’d told Levi to meet him, so jittery and on edge that he wasn’t certain that he should have any caffeine just then. Maybe he’d grab a cup of herbal tea while he waited, something warm and soothing – and then he noticed someone waving to him from off to the side.

He started when he realized that it was Levi, dressed for once in something other than dark dress pants and an expensive trench coat. The man… the man looked good in a pair of jeans and a plain, soft-appearing light grey sweater that was probably a lot more expensive than it seemed. He also had on a pair of leather ankle boots that didn’t try to give him any additional height, as if he was fine with being a few inches shorter than Eren, and the bangs of his black undercut was combed back from his handsome face. Something made Eren stand still, a rush of confusing emotions and a sudden image of Levi dressed in a strange outfit, something black and white with his hair combed back like just now, his grey eyes oddly tender as he held out his right hand-

Eren gasped as he felt a sharp pain in both his chest and his head, and the next thing he knew, Levi was next to him. He recoiled slightly from the man’s sudden presence, which caused Levi to frown. “Something wrong? You look like shit.”

“Just… just a headache,” Eren lied as he shook his head. “You been here long?”

“A few minutes.” Levi studied him for a few seconds, his thin lips pressed together then he shook his head as well. “Come on, I got us a table.”

“Ah, maybe I should get something,” Eren objected, then started when his left hand was grabbed. Part of him waited for the instinctual recoil at having Levi, the *bastard*, touching him like this after all those dreams, yet he was more surprised by the warmth of the man’s calloused hand than anything.

“I got us a pot of tea. You like tea, right? It’s English Breakfast.”

“Uhm, yeah, that’s fine. Well, you know, it’s not breakfast but yeah, I like tea and that’s a good blend.” Oh god, he was babbling, wasn’t he? Why was he babbling? And why was he allowing Levi to lead him to a table set off to the side of the small, pretentious as fuck coffeehouse like an obedient puppy? Well, maybe all those dreams were to blame – he was used to following Levi’s orders in them, from what he could tell.

Levi even waited for him to sit first before he settled down across from him. “Good. It should be ready now, too.”

Without thinking, Eren reached for the pot and, after lifting the lid to check that the tea had indeed steeped enough, began to pour it into the waiting cups, Levi’s first. Once the pot was set down, he then added a bit of sugar and milk to both of them, half a teaspoon to Levi’s, one to his, and then sat back in his chair after he placed Levi’s cup in front of the man.

It wasn’t until he lifted his own cup that he realized what he’d done. “Ah….” Shit, that wasn’t normal, was it? Yet it had been so automatic, and dammit, there was a pleased look to Levi’s face as he lifted his own cup by the rim with his fingertips. “Let me guess, I got it right,” Eren mumbled as he set his cup back down and rubbed at his face in an attempt to… he didn’t know what.

Levi paused to take a small sip. “Hmm, perfect as always.” There was a faint ‘click’ as the cup settled back into its plate. “Then again, you always prepared tea for the two of us.” Levi paused again as if thinking of – or recalling – something. “Some days it was the only special time we had together.”

“Other than when you locked me up at night,” Eren couldn’t help but throw that tidbit out there as he rested his hands on his thighs and clenched them into fists; he couldn’t deny that there had to be some truth to what Levi had just said, but what about his own dreams? Why was there such a dichotomy?

The frown returned as Levi stared into his cup of tea. “I’ve been trying to figure that out – I can recall the room you described, even some times where I leave you there, but I don’t… it doesn’t come across to me as locking you up.” He let out a frustrated noise as he rubbed at his right ear. “Maybe I’m trying to protect you?”

That answer startled a laugh from Eren, it was just so ridiculous. “Really? And the kicking my ass that one time along with all the threats?” He shook his head in disbelief. “That’s a weird way of keeping me safe, isn’t it?”

Now Levi appeared annoyed as he leaned over the table to glare at Eren. “Look, you said something about ‘getting out of line’ or ‘if you didn’t listen’ the other day – fuck, something about me killing you if you didn’t behave, shit like that.” His glare intensified when Eren opened his mouth, so Eren huffed and picked up his tea instead. “I get the impression we were in some sort of military unit because of the uniforms and the weapons, so maybe I was under orders. Maybe we both were. Maybe you fucked up somewhere along the line and I had to make sure you didn’t do it again.”

That was a lot of supposition… but Eren had to agree that he had a point with the military thing. “Okay, I’ll give you that we seemed to be fighting something, and yeah, you seemed to be my commanding officer.” He groaned as he set down the tea cup and rubbed at his aching forehead. “But what could I have done to make you treat me like that?”

Levi scoffed as he sat back in his chair. “I don’t know, maybe poisoned a general or something?”

And whatever good will he’d been feeling for the asshole just went out the window. “Ha, ha, very funny,” Eren ground out as he contemplated spilling his tea into the bastard’s lap.

To give him credit, Levi appeared a bit guilty just then, but before he could say anything, Eren heard a very familiar voice.

“Eren? I thought you were off studying. Is this one of your professors?”

Fuck. *Fuck*. Eren scrambled to his feet and turned around to see Mikasa standing a few feet away with a to-go cup of something in her hand, a large nylon bag slung over her left shoulder and a slight frown on her face. “Uhm, what are you- I thought you were training today!” Had she followed him? What was she doing here? She couldn’t find out about Levi – there was no way she wouldn’t overreact after hearing about his dreams all these years, and if she told his parents- *no*.

“I’m on my way to the club now,” she told him while she hefted the large blue and white bag a little higher, and her eyes narrowed – especially when she glanced past him at Levi. “You don’t have any books with you.”

“That’s because we’re not studying.” Eren nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the sound of a chair scrape and just *knew* that Levi was approaching them, especially when Mikasa’s suspicious look intensified.

“Ah, Mikasa, this… this is….”

He felt a steady hand slide along his back and settle onto his left hip as Levi stood beside him, all but pressed against his right side, and Levi held out his right hand to Mikasa. “Lenny Rivaille. It’s more a coffee date than a study one, as if you can’t tell.”

Kill him, Eren was going to kill the bastard as soon as there weren’t any witnesses about, especially when the hand on his hip slipped between the hem of his jeans and that of his navy sweater to stroke along his hipbone. He jolted at the touch, something… *something* shooting along his veins as he did his best to smile at Mikasa, who *definitely* appeared upset at the moment.

“I thought – you said you weren’t dating anyone.” She sounded so plaintive just then that Eren attempted to take a step forward to give her some sort of reassurance, but was prevented by the arm around his waist.

He shot Levi a quick glare before he returned his attention on his dear friend and shook his head. “Ah, well, it’s just-“

“We’re still in that early stage,” Levi interrupted. “And he’s a bit nervous because I’m older, so he’s been keeping it quiet rather than put up with a bunch of shit.”

“Yeah, what he said,” Eren mumbled as he tried not to shiver from the fingers stroking along his hipbone. “I know you and Armin worry about me, and Mom… ah, yeah, not going there.” He gave Mikasa a shaky smile and hoped that she bought the cover story. “I didn’t want anyone to worry.”

Mikasa’s slight frown evened out as she sighed. “We just want you to be happy, you know.” She glanced at Levi, her expression growing cool as she looked him up and down. “Maybe someone mature is what you need.”

“He is a bit of a hot-headed little shit at times, isn’t he?” Levi agreed. “Still, it makes him cute.”

And Levi had griped about the flowers? Wait until Eren wheedled something out of Krista – she was a pre-med major, she had to have access to the good stuff – and made him something *extra* special next week, oh yes.

Mikasa continued to eye Levi as if she wasn’t sold on him just yet. “Then again, there’s something to be said for you going out with someone your own age.”

Wincing at the way Levi’s fingers dug into his hip in a much too possessive manner, Eren clutched at the bastard’s arm hard enough to bruise and grinned. “Hey, it’s been fun running into you and seeing the two of you meet, but don’t you have practice?” While Mikasa gave him a reluctant nod, he twisted around to look at Levi, his grin taking on a saccharine bite. “And don’t you have that thing you were just telling me about when Mikasa came along? Something about your car?”

He got another finger dig into his hip, but Levi had enough sense of preservation to play along. “Yeah, I better get that light checked out before it becomes a problem. I’ll call you later.” Before Eren could do anything else, Levi caught his chin and the next thing he knew, he was being kissed. And wow - *kissed*.

First there was the simple fact that someone was kissing him, because it didn’t happen out of the blue like this. Well, not unless he was drinking or something. And there was the fact that he was in the middle of a coffee shop. Then there was Levi, and… and… something seemed to short circuit in Eren’s head right about then, because instead of shoving the bastard away or punching him, he found himself slouching down a little as his hands rose up to grip firm, broad shoulders. There was something… something so familiar about this, something comforting-

“Excuse me.”

The feel of someone brushing past him jolted Eren back to reality, and he became aware of a blushing woman walking past on her way to the tables behind him. As he took a hasty step away from Levi, Mikasa reached for his right arm and pulled him toward her. “Are you all right?”

No, he certainly was not, but all he did was shake his head while Levi gave him an almost pained look before returning to their table to fetch the leather jacket he had left behind, along with Eren’s red nylon one. “Ah….”

“Here you go.” Levi handed over the jacket and sighed when he caught Eren’s quick flash of a warning glare. “Get your homework done and stay out of trouble.”

“No promises,” Eren warned him. Because if he had a chance to shove a handful of lily of the valleys down a certain bastard’s throat any time soon….

As if he was well aware just how much deep shit he was in, Levi gave Mikasa a curt nod and hightailed it out of the coffee shop while Eren twisted his coat between his hands for a couple of seconds, then sighed and shrugged it on.

“Everything all right?” Mikasa repeated as she glanced back and forth between the direction where Levi had gone and Eren.

“I don’t like public displays of affection like that,” Eren settled on as he headed for the door, which was more or less the truth. He especially didn’t like them with assholes who had spent his past life smacking Eren around and… and what? He ran his right hand through the bangs falling onto his face and gave them a harsh tug. Why didn’t anything make sense anymore?

“Hmm, you didn’t seem to mind it when he was kissing you,” Mikasa was ever so kind to point out.

Yeah, and that was the problem – half the time Eren wanted to throttle Levi, and the other half… he should *still* want to throttle Levi. Or at least run away from him. Not pour him tea and let him grope him in public. Yet Eren hadn’t had a nightmare last night, so wasn’t it worth it?

He summoned up a mostly happy grin as he held out his left elbow. “I’m going to go hang out with a friend and talk about the symbolism of decapitation and dismemberment in Renaissance art for a while – how about I walk with you to campus?”

Mikasa gave him a worried once-over as she shifted her coffee to her left hand and slid her right hand through the crook of his arm. “You sure that you’re all right? That sounds rather grim.”

“Perfectly fine, and it’s not as bad as it seems.” Eren rubbed at the back of his neck for a moment as they left the coffee shop.

They both were quiet as they got out on the sidewalk.

“So… Lenny, huh? He seems rather interesting.” And by ‘interesting’, it was clear that Mikasa meant ‘he doesn’t come across as a complete loser, but I will make sure that he isn’t’.

Oh yeah, he should have seen that coming. Eren winced as he gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “He’s different.” He was about to tell her that it wasn’t serious, but he still had to figure out the issue over his dreams so he still had to deal with the asshole, *dammit*. Oh yes, Levi better watch his ass the next time they saw each other. “Ah, I doubt it’s anything too serious, but… we’ll see how things go,” he told her as a bit of a compromise.

For some reason she stared at him for several seconds before she looked straight ahead. “Lenny Rivaille,” she spoke out loud, as if memorizing the name.

Eren gave a nervous laugh. “He’s just some guy I’m seeing here and there,” he reminded his friend.

“Hmm.”

Ah shit.

*******

Levi winced as he parked his car in the spot allocated to him in the garage beneath his apartment complex and then checked his phone; ten texts from Eren, and each one little more than a series of emojis and incoherent profanity laden blast of displeasure. Oh yes, someone had *not* been pleased with how he’d handled the ‘Mikasa’ situation – what the fuck was the girl’s problem? Why had Eren freaked out upon her arrival? Was she an ex or something? They didn’t look related, not with the girl’s obvious Asian features, the pale skin, slanted dark eyes and smooth black hair, compared to Eren’s huge teal eyes, slightly dusky skin and tousled dark brown hair. No, Levi didn’t think they were related, but the girl – Mikasa – definitely had focused all of her attention on Eren – *Levi’s* ‘name’, *Levi’s* lover - while Eren had appeared desperate to keep her from figuring out what was going on.

It had been both the girl’s reaction to Eren and the fact that Eren had obviously been trying to hide who Levi was that had prompted Levi to push so much back at the coffee shop; in hindsight, the kiss had probably not been one of his brightest ideas, but Eren had gone along with the whole ‘coffee date’ without protest so Levi had been unable to see how much more he could get away with under the circumstances. He’d been aching to kiss his lover ever since finding him at the bakery earlier that week, and add to it that girl glaring at him as if in anger for daring to date Eren….

Yeah, so okay, maybe not the most mature thing to do, but Eren had responded to him, had kissed him back before that rude woman had bumped into them. For someone who swore that he was supposed to be some sort of sadistic asshole who had beat him up in the past… Eren kept reacting otherwise. Eren had fixed their tea just like he had so many times in Levi’s dreams, had begun to banter with him just like he had after they’d become lovers, had kissed him….

Levi let out a slow breath as he tugged on the bangs falling onto his face. Yeah, ten seconds of *that* life in this one, but at what cost? Once again, one step forward, two steps back. He looked at his phone, at the latest text.

/o(>< )o ヽ(｀○´)/ б(*｀・´)∂should fucking picked 5 star restaurant got off lucky hope u like cyanide fucking pervert asshole kiss like shit/

What the hell? Though he had always thought that Eren was so fuckable when he was all pissed off. He couldn’t resist sending a text of his own.

/Always did love almonds. And what to say – was kissing a little shit/

It didn’t take long for the answering email, and despite the fucked up situation, Levi had to laugh when he read it – well, the two of them, since one quickly followed the other.

/DDU^E^E%DU((RE(ERO/

/DIEEEEE!!!/

Yeah, that was the Eren he knew and loved, so passionate and emotional. Levi had a feeling that he better not wear anything he really liked when he swung by the bakery on Monday, just in case something ‘accidentally’ slipped from Eren’s hand that morning.

Still, Levi couldn’t help but smile a little; so Eren was a bit… okay, make that very pissed off at him right now. But at least he was pissed off at *him*, at something he’d done in *this* life, at something Levi could clearly recall doing. It wasn’t some big mystery that frustrated the hell out of him and drove him crazy trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Having reached his apartment, he slipped his keys out of the right pocket of his leather coat and unlocked the door then stepped inside… and felt his good mood vanish in an instant. “What the *fuck* are you two shitstains doing here? And give me back my damn keys – you clearly don’t know what the hell an ‘emergency’ means!” He nearly threw his own keys at Erwin, who was sitting on his couch, but wasn’t certain he’d get them back.

Meanwhile, Hange had jumped up from the lounger and clapped her hands together. “What, you’re back already? Is that good? Tell me it’s good!” She was dressed in a ratty pair of plaid pajama bottoms and an old overlarge sweatshirt from Karanese University, so Moblit probably hadn’t been around yet that day to make her presentable for human interaction.

Levi ignored her to turn his glare on Erwin, who was still dressed in the jeans and light green jersey he’d been wearing earlier when he’d come over to help Levi pick out an outfit. “You told her, you traitor.”

“We promised to keep each other informed,” Erwin admitted as he scooted to the edge of the couch and sat with his hands clasped between his knees, a hang-dog expression on his face. “Your mother is waiting for an update as well.”

“My mo- you’re a *shitty*, weak-willed traitor at that,” Levi accused as he headed to the kitchen for some damn wine. This was the man who had blackmailed him back in university? Really? Yeah, working for Survey Enterprises had turned out to be one of the best things in his life, but if he’d only known then what he knew now….

“So how did your date go?” Hange hounded him into the kitchen like some demented puppy from hell. “Did you get any action?”

As soon as the cork was free from the bottle, Levi threw it in her face. “That’s none of your business.”

She laughed as it bounced off of her glasses and helped him fetch something to pour the wine into, a huge grin on her face. “Oh, it went that well, did it?” When he gave her a blank look, she cackled and turned toward Erwin, who had joined them as well. “He’d be bitching up a storm if it didn’t.”

“Indeed.” Erwin nodded at Levi. “Congratulations.”

Levi clicked his tongue as he poured the wine into the three glasses, making sure to give himself the most. “I wouldn’t go that far just yet, and you might want to check your precious éclairs for razor blades or some other nasty shit before you eat them next week.” He paused to drain about a third of the wine before he continued, while Erwin looked on in concern and Hange continued to laugh. “It started out really good, to be honest. Part of Eren definitely remembers things – the *right* things – and we were having a normal conversation.” Levi shrugged a little at that. “Well, as normal as possible, considering the circumstances. Then someone he knew showed up and things… got off-track.”

“The remembering part is good.” For once, Hange appeared serious as she gave her wineglass a gentle spin between her palms. “What did he do?”

“Fixed the tea for us.” At his friends’ confused expressions, Levi shrugged again. “It’s something he always did for me back then.”

“You don’t even let Petra do that for you,” Erwin remarked as he glanced at Levi’s expensive water kettle over on the counter.

Well, Petra was just a good friend and a wonderful admin, not his lover. “That and he knew one or two other things about me.” When Hange gave him a curious look, Levi shook his head, unwilling to get into it; he didn’t feel in the mood for being teased about being so ‘anal’ or ‘obsessive’ about wanting things to be clean.

She had a sip of wine and then stared into the glass once she set it back down. “So at least on a subconscious level, he knows you as someone other than the… well, let’s just say the asshole his dreams have been showing.” She gave Levi an apologetic dream. “Sorry, hon, but that’s what it sounds like, those bad dreams he’s told you.”

She did have a point. “Which is probably why he didn’t want his friend who showed up to know who I was.” He tapped his right index finger against his wineglass and watched the resulting ripples for a couple of seconds. “Sounded as if he told her he was off studying since she was surprised to find him with someone, so I gave her that old nickname I used when sneaking into clubs.”

“Eh, ol’ Lenny. Ha, those were fun times! Wow, that takes me back.” Hange laughed while Erwin, ever the boy scout, shook his head. “Oh, loosen up,” she chided their friend. “Don’t tell me you never used a fake ID to go out drinking.”

“I was the dorm RA, remember?” A surprising evil grin spread across Erwin’s face as he raised his wineglass. “I just kept all the alcohol I confiscated off of reprobates like you and Levi.”

Hange set aside her glass so she could clutch at her heart. “What? No, no, no, my perfect image of you is now shattered!” While Erwin laughed at her melodramatics, she twisted around to poke at Levi. “And you, don’t think I forgot about that ‘action’ thing. So a friend of Eren’s showed up and he didn’t want them to know that you’re his ‘name’. I still don’t see how that means he’ll be spiking my sweets.”

Taking another swig of wine to brace himself for the fallout of telling the pest what happened next, Levi then rushed out the words. “I may have sorta told the girl that I was his boyfriend and then kissed him goodbye.”

Both Hange and Erwin were quiet as if it took them several seconds to understand what he had said, and then Erwin groaned and reached for the bottle of wine to refill his glass while Hange cackled once more and lunged forward to give Levi a hug – which resulted in his hand being shoved in her face. “Oh hon, I’m so proud of you! Way to go!”

“Yes, way to get that restraining order slapped on him,” Erwin muttered. “This is a person who attempted to poison you the other day yet you feel it’s wise to… oh, I don’t know, see if he wants to remove your spleen while making out with him in a public venue?”

“Only thing he damn near removed was a filling, he was kissing me so-“

“You’re missing the point.” Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. “You’re going to need something a hell of a lot better than sea salt caramels after this.”

“I’ll figure something out.” Levi knew that Erwin meant well, but his friend didn’t have to be such a buzzkill.

“Yes, I would hope so.” Erwin’s hand fell back down to his side when he shook his head. “Still, I suppose it’s progress of sorts.”

Hange was quick to nod in agreement. “Yes! Here’s to progress.” She raised her glass in a toast, followed by Erwin, so Levi did as well while he grumbled.

“You guys don’t have to seem so shocked by the whole thing. I mean, we’re meant to be together.” Sooner or later Eren would figure it out – Levi was beginning to have hope of that fact.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say ‘shocked’, more little astonished,” Hange teased.

“Hmm, I’d go with amazed,” Erwin added, his blue eyes shining with amusement even though his expression was carefully blank.

“No, no, flabbergasted,” Hange continued in a laughing tone.

“Gobsmacked. Utterly gobsmacked.”

“Oooh, that’s good. Let’s see… dumbfounded. Yeah, we were dumbfounded.”

His temper growing with each new adjective, Levi put his glass down on the table while he glared at his so called friends. “That’s it, get out of here you shitty pricks. Out!” Hange and Erwin laughed while he took to shoving both of them out of his kitchen, the bastards.

*******

Eren offered up both a tentative smile and the coffee carrier in his right hand when Annie cracked open the door and gave him a blank look. “One venti mocha with double expresso a little early, and I even got those shortbread cookies you like so much.”

She continued to stare at him for a few seconds, her expression still blank, before she rolled her eyes and stepped out of the way. “I guess you can come in.” As soon as he entered the dorm room, she snatched at the coffee. “Don’t tell me you’re failing the art class.”

He’d been in Annie’s room a couple of times before, and much hadn’t changed from earlier in the semester when they’d gotten together to cram for the first exam; Annie’s side of the room was still a bit Spartan with everything tucked away in various shelves and crates, but still had some personal touches with the soft pillows piled on the bed and photos of her father and a few friends stacked on the shelves and her desk. Rico, Annie’s roommate, was just as neat, but had various posters of buildings on her side of the room and what looked to be an interesting engineering project made out of thin wooden rods in progress on her desk, along with an obviously handmade quilt on her bed.

Annie set the cardboard carrier down on her desk and pried her coffee free, then handed Eren his while he fished the bag of cookies out of the pocket of his jacket. “So if you’re not failing, what are you doing here?”

He took a sip of his drink before he answered, the caramel flavor reminding him of Levi for a moment; even *that* made him feel conflicted, made him an odd mix of angry, happy, sad and confused. Dammit. “I just… I needed to talk to someone and I guess you’re it.”

“Gee, thanks.” She motioned for him to take the chair at the desk while she curled up on her bed, legs crossed and back nestled into pile of pillows; it looked as if she must have been doing something online when he had stopped by, because her tablet was on the bed and she was dressed as if just hanging out in her room, in dark grey leggings and a large plain white sweatshirt with her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. “You couldn’t go to Ymir or Connie or Armin with this?”

Had there been a bite to the way she’d said ‘Armin’ just then? Eren frowned at her for a moment before he shook his head. “Not really, it’s about Levi.” As soon as he said *that* name, his left hand rose to press against his chest as if by its own volition, and he noticed that Annie mimicked the motion. “I really don’t want to talk to someone who’s all happy with their name, like Ymir or Connie or Marco,” especially not Marco if it meant he’d have to put up with Jean right now.

“And Armin?” Annie seemed to find something of interest with her tablet just then, even though it was powered off.

“Eh, that’s rather complicated.” When she looked up at him and narrowed her eyes as if to say ‘your ass is in my room, you better explain’, he chuckled a couple of times and shrugged. “Armin would be willing to listen, but he’s too involved – not only with me, but with my family and with someone who happens to have *my* name. It’s… it’s a huge mess, okay? Like I said, complicated, and I’m trying to make it *less* complicated right now.”

“By talking to me about Levi, the guy whose name you bear, who you’ve been having nightmares about for how many years, and who suddenly showed up in your life and is increasing profits at the store.” Annie did always like to make sure she saw the big picture – especially before she tore things apart. “Am I missing something?”

Eren grimaced as he thought about his coffee ‘date’. “Just that I met up with Levi about an hour ago. We decided to get together to talk about our dreams and what’s going on with them.” When she didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at him with that assessing look of hers while she sipped her coffee, he grew nervous and began to fidget. “What?”

She continued to remain quiet long enough to eat half of a cookie. “Did you try to poison him during this ‘discussion’?”

He nearly threw a pen from the desk at her before he remembered how easily she had taken Ymir down the other night. “Dammit, why does everyone assume I just go around poisoning people?”

Annie shrugged while she finished the rest of the cookie. “Maybe because you didn’t seem to have a problem doing it the other day?”

Eren set aside his half-finished coffee and tugged at his hair – which he needed to get cut sometime soon, when he wasn’t being accused of attempted murder and dealing with a conniving bastard in his life – “I just put – gah! It wasn’t like I put rat poisoning in the cake, all right!”

“Hmm, if you say so,” Annie murmured as she slid another cookie out of the bag. “So how did the discussion go?”

Eren picked up his coffee and scowled at the ‘Aaron’ written on the side of it as he thought about the whole ordeal, and the last text on his phone that he’d received on his way here. “We agreed about one or two things about our past, and were trying to figure out what was causing the whole… you know, discrepancies. Levi thinks he was protecting me from something, as if that’s not messed up.” Eren dug his left thumbnail into the first ‘a’ then signed. “And of course then Mikasa – she’s an old friend who happens to have my name – showed up out of the blue, and Levi thought it would be amusing as fuck to pretend to be my boyfriend. The asshole even kissed me.” He shuddered before he took another swig of coffee in an effort to not reflect back on the kiss and his reaction to it.

When he set the coffee aside again, he found Annie once more watching him with that assessing look. “So to summarize, you’ve moved on from death threats to talking with your ‘name’, and you let him kiss you.”

“I didn’t let him do *anything*!” Eren insisted as he jumped onto his feet. “And trust me, we’re back to the threats with that bastard. I’m in the mood to punch him in his smug face when he shows up on Monday.”

Annie sighed as she rubbed her right hand over her face. “Great, so add assault to the attempted murder charge. If the police come here, I’m playing dumb and denying everything.”

Eren groaned and made a swipe at the bag containing the shortbread cookies, only to have Annie shove him away with her left foot to his chest. “I need better friends.”

“You need to make better life choices, is what it is.”

“That hurts,” Eren whined as he sat back down on the chair. “So what do you think of this whole mess?”

“Hmm.” Annie appeared to give the matter some consideration as she munched on the cookie. “That this Levi guy is pretty clever – more clever than you.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true, he was quick to take advantage of things during your date – and if you really minded the kiss and all, you would have handed him his balls then and there.”

Eren frowned as he picked up one of the colored pens on Annie’s desk and twisted it about in his fingers. “I couldn’t, not with Mikasa and all.”

“Right.” Annie rolled her eyes while she balled up the paper bag and threw it at him. “This, from the guy who almost got us thrown out of the club the one night when some asshole made a rude comment about me and Krista – if Krista hadn’t explained to the bouncer that you were sticking up for us you’d be banned from Titans. Funny how that self-restraint is so hit and miss.” She smirked when he gave her the finger. “And that just proves my point.”

“Maybe I should have gone to Marco’s,” he muttered as he picked up the coffee cup, only to curse when he realized that he’d drank it all.

“I’m not stopping you, you can always head there,” Annie remarked before she took another sip of her coffee.

Eren was about to throw the crumpled bag back at her when the door to the room opened to admit Annie’s roommate Rico, who appeared a bit flushed and in running gear; sneakers, black leggings with a bright red stripe down the side, and a bright red form-fitting jacket she was unzipping to reveal a black tank-top beneath it and the first couple of letters of a name. “Hey.” She nodded to both Eren and Annie in greeting as she kicked off her shoes, a bundle of envelopes and a small package in her hand. “I picked up the mail on my way back.”

Annie’s smug expression vanished as she scurried off of the bed. “Thanks, let me just-“ She snatched at the letter, and in Rico’s surprise at her reaction, a couple of them fell to the floor.

“Sorry!”

“Let me help,” Eren offered.

“No! I got them!” Annie sounded almost panicked, and even though he was already bent over to help pick them up, Eren paused. Still, he could see the names on the front of the envelopes, some of them addressed to Rico Brzenska, and some of them addressed to… “Annalie Leonheart?” Oh shit, Annalie was Armin’s ‘name’….

He knew he wasn’t imagining it when Annie’s face paled as she snatched up the letters, and Rico gave them a confused look before she picked up her mail and set it on her desk. “Uhm, I’m going to wash off,” she said in a quiet voice then grabbed some clean clothes, and all the while Eren and Annie just stood there looking at each other. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” Annie assured the other girl, who gave them one more concerned look before heading into the bathroom while she pulled the headband out of her blonde hair.

“You’re Annalie,” Eren breathed out as he pressed the fingertips of his right hand hard into the flesh bearing Levi’s name. “You’re Armin’s Annalie, aren’t you?”

Annie flinched at the mention of Armin, then she nodded. “No one but my grandmother calls me that, or my dad when I’m in trouble.” For a moment there was a fleeting smile on her face, quickly replaced by that closed-off expression. “Though for legal purposes….” She held up the envelope.

“But….” Eren shook his head. “Armin’s a great guy, and you… you’re really nice. I don’t get it.” He didn’t, not really. Levi… there were the dreams, the nightmares, and he didn’t know Levi, not really. But he *knew* Armin and Annie, and there didn’t seem to be a reason for two great people to be apart.

Annie remained still for a few more seconds and then she sighed before she tossed the letters onto the bed and came to stand in front of Eren to place her right hand on his chest, the fingertips just above his heart. “Look… this may be difficult to understand, but maybe… maybe it’s part of what’s going on with you and Levi.” Pain was reflected in those lovely pale eyes on her and on her pretty face as he gazed down on her. “Just because you bear someone’s name, because they were important to you in a past life and Fate decided they should mean something to you in this one… it doesn’t mean you should be together.” There was a sparkle of tears in her eyes as her breath caught, and she shook her head. “Because despite all the emotions and… well, sometimes the bad outweighs the good, you see. Sometimes the best thing you can do for them is to just walk away and let them have the happiness they find with another person. Someone who won’t tear them apart.”

Eren reached out to brush his fingers along her left cheekbone, his heart aching for the pain evident in her voice and expression. “And what about you?”

She tilted her face into the caress for a lingering moment. “Sometimes it’s the best for you, too.” She sniffed and looked up. “Sometimes a bit of heartache is better than having your heart and soul torn to shreds and knowing it’s your fault.”

The dream from the other day returned to Eren and snatched his breath away. “Oh. *Oh*.” He shook his head as he pulled Annie into a hug, and after a moment’s resistance, she melted into the embrace. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, I thought you might understand.” They stood there like that for several seconds in shared misery before she pulled away. “You’re not going to say anything, are you?”

He shook his head. “It’s your secret to tell, not mine.”

“Good.” She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. “So….”

Taking the hint, he gave her a slight smile and stepped away. “I guess I’ll be going now. Thanks for… well, everything.” He zipped up his jacket and headed toward the door. “I’ll bring another coffee to class next Thursday.”

Somehow, Annie summoned up a tremulous smile. “I think you owe me that much, and some more cookies.”

“You got yourself a deal.” He waved goodbye as he let himself out of the room, his thoughts burdened by the recent revelation and what Annie had told him.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, this chapter certainly has its ups and downs, no? The cafe scene was fun! But yeah, the Eren and Annie scene ended up rather bittersweet. Though again, there's hints at what going on in Eren's head....


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Once again, thank you so much for the comments and kudos left so far on this story, they truly are appreciated.
> 
> Will be a few days for the next chapter, being out of town has slowed things down but should be something by next week. I THINK we're at the halfway point now or getting close.

*******

It was a forest where the trees loomed so tall above Eren that he couldn’t see the sky, couldn’t see anything but darkness above as the thick, leaf-laden branches wove together to block out the sun. Beside him was Levi as he stood on one of the lower branches, one big enough to support their weight and allow them to even walk about a little, to spare the need for their 3D gear, and he should be exhilarated, should be happy that-

Yet no, no he wasn’t happy, wasn’t happy in the slightest. Eren felt something tighten in his chest, felt something compress his lungs and clench around his heart and crawl up his throat, felt his skin grow cold and clammy and his hands tremble.

“-stick near me as we come to the clearing, okay? So far we haven’t seen any sign of the abnormals, but that doesn’t mean shit. I don’t want to take any chances with this plan being fucked up so don’t get any bright ideas in your head, okay?”

Eren felt his body move, felt himself nod even when he didn’t want to, when he wanted to tell Levi… wanted to tell him what? What was going on here? Why did he feel such an overwhelming sense of dread?

“Good. Now come on.” The next thing he knew, there was a faint, pneumonic sound then Levi was flying through the air, right before Eren felt his body drop from the branch as well; that awful, piercing dread increased as soon as he moved, sunk its teeth in him and savaged its way through him and-

“God *dammit*,” he swore as his alarm went off, then picked up his phone and almost threw it against the wall opposite his bed before he realized what he was about to do.

He sighed as he silenced the alarm, and for a moment he debated calling the bakery and telling them that he wouldn’t be in today, that he was too sick to work. Except that he really couldn’t afford to skip classes and if he started hiding from things now…. He’d basically done his best Saturday night and all day yesterday to ignore things, to spend the time cleaning the apartment and catching up on assignments, then introducing Mikasa to Ymir and Krista by hanging out at Finch’s. It had been a way to spend time with his friend but spare himself too many questions about ‘Lenny’, and it had mostly worked; Mikasa seemed pleased to meet more friends of his and it had been a good night.

Work. Sighing again as he got up, Eren hurried to grab a shower and get ready for the day, unhappy that he couldn’t hide from things any longer. As much as he didn’t want to see Levi, not after Saturday, something was going on, something that was affecting his dreams. Yesterday’s hadn’t been too bad, had been another one where he’d been in the middle of a forest and they had been riding along beside each other. While he’d made out the blurred forms of other riders in front of and behind them, the only person he could easily identify had been Levi, and for what seemed the majority of the dream it had been the two of them once more in companionable silence. There had been no sense of fear, of anger or… or anything negative, just calm and peace. Levi had turned to him at one point to hand over a metal container of water with a slight smile on his face and then… then Eren had woken up. It had been a nice break from the usual ‘nightmares’, and then there had this morning’s dream, which had been almost as bad as the *bad one*, the one which was nothing but awful, draining emotions.

Desperate to get to work where he’d be too busy to dwell on these things, Eren grabbed an energy drink and was out the door, figuring he could do a ‘Sasha’ once he reached the bakery. He got there early enough to find Shadis unlocking the doors, the man gave him a once-over look before grunting and motioning him inside. “Keep those two idiots from eating half the stock,” Shadis grumbled as he shed his old Army jacket on the way back to the office.

“It’s too early for miracles,” Eren told him, and had to smile when Shadis guffawed upon hearing that remark.

He figured that ‘those two idiots’ meant he was opening with Connie and Sasha, so got busy turning on the ovens and grabbing the necessary ingredients for the donuts, croissants and danishes that the customers would be expecting when the bakery opened. His coworkers showed up barely on time, a burst of cool air and noise, and after thanking him for helping to get things set up, everyone settled down to work.

Connie regaled him with an update on what had happened over the weekend, both at the bakery and on campus; despite the lingering effects of the dream, Eren found himself laughing when he heard about Jean almost getting thrown out of a bar for getting trashed and mistaking a classmate talking to Marco about an upcoming project for hitting on the guy.

“What a horse-faced idiot.” Eren smiled as he slid a tray of croissants into the oven.

“He does tend to make the night out interesting,” Connie agreed. “But he’s not that bad. I don’t know why you two don’t get along.”

“Oil and vinegar,” Sasha offered in-between licking a spatula on her way to the sink. “They don’t mix well, but they do taste good together. Yummy.”

Both Eren and Connie stared after her for several seconds, then Eren turned to give Connie a horrified look while Connie just shrugged. “I don’t even want to know, and don’t ever suggest I see her on a professional basis, okay?”

“What can I say, she’s unique.” Connie beamed with pride then returned his attention to the donuts he was filling with custard. “And speaking of unique, Annie’s birthday is coming up. We gonna have a party for her?”

“Ah, that’s right.” With everything that was going on, Eren had forgotten about that fact – and that his wasn’t too far off, either. “Yeah, that would be good.”

Sasha came back with a clean bowl in her arms and batter around her mouth. “Yours is close to hers, isn’t it? Maybe we can combine the two of them.”

Eren rolled his eyes even as he smiled. “What, you guys cheap or something?”

Connie scoffed as he flung a dollop of custard at Eren, which thankfully fell short since Eren didn’t have time between work and classes to run back home to change. “Ha, not quite. But your birthday is right before spring break and that way we don’t have to worry about everyone’s schedules.”

“Cheap excuse,” Eren taunted, even though he understood the logic behind it. “Check with Annie when she comes in – if she doesn’t mind sharing the limelight, it’s fine with me.” Though he’d have to pull her aside and reassure her that it would just be them and their friends here, that he wouldn’t try to invite Armin along that night; he’d tell him that there would be a separate party for him and Mikasa.

Some of his good mood slipping with the reminder of the whole… whole *damn* name business, Eren let out a slow breath and got back to work. If he was going to keep being reminded of Levi… well, might as well get to work on something for him….

*******

Levi sat in his car with his fingers tapping against the leather-wrapped steering wheel for a few more seconds before he gathered the nerve to leave and face what was most likely to be a furious lover; maybe Erwin had been right and it hadn’t been the smartest thing, that kiss, but waking up the last two mornings painfully hard and with the memories of how *right* he and Eren were for each other, how great they could make the other feel…. “Fuck,” he muttered as he forced himself to get out of the car and go into the bakery. An older woman dressed up as if she was going to meet the fucking queen or something beat him to the door, so Levi was mostly hidden when he stepped inside and so caught a glimpse of Eren laughing as he attempted to snatch back his hat from a petite blonde girl who managed to hold it out of his reach despite the difference in their heights.

Something painful and ugly made Levi’s heart seize when he looked at them, at the way Eren smiled at her, so open and happy, at the slight smile on her face but the warmth in her pale eyes evident as Eren wrapped his arms around her and picked her up until she slapped him in the face with the hat.

“Am I going to have to call out Keith to get my croissants?” the old woman asked as she came to a halt in front of the cash register.

“No, Mrs. Adams, I think I’ve had enough for now,” Eren told her, his voice amused as he slicked back his hair and pushed his hat back in place. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Boys these days, you have to keep them in line,” the woman seemed to be saying to the blonde girl.

“It takes a lot of effort, but I do my best,” the girl replied back while Eren laughed and fetched a fresh pair of gloves from beneath the counter. While he was leaning down, he finally caught sight of Levi and his grin faded away, his expression now one more of resigned indignation.

“Let me get those croissants for you.” Eren managed a smile for the woman even as his eyes flashed with that simmering temper, so Levi figured he was stuck with blonde. Despite the fact that she had appeared in a good mood a few seconds ago, her pale eyes now were similar to ice and her pretty face an impassive mask.

“Let me guess – chocolate croissants, éclairs and apple fritters,” she rattled off as she also pulled on a fresh pair of gloves. At least she cared about proper hygiene even if she was too fucking friendly with Eren.

“It’s as if you read my mind,” Levi drawled as he tapped his fingers along the leather of his computer bag.

“You’re getting to be a regular customer, that’s certain. Though maybe you should give the Pegasus bakery on Willow St. a try – I hear their cinnamon rolls are amazing.”

Levi narrowed his eyes as he stopped watching Eren box up the croissants for the woman so he could pay more attention to the blonde chick. “Should you be saying shit like that about your competition?”

The girl shrugged as if unconcerned and reached for another apple fritter. “It’s another local business so it’s all good. Besides, we survived before you started coming here.” There was something sharp in her gaze, something almost feral to the set of her jaw as she all but slammed the door to the display case shut. “We’ll survive when you *stop*.”

Great, just what he needed on a Monday morning. Doing his best to rein in his temper, Levi smoothed his right hand down the front of his second best trench coat and bared his teeth in something resembling a smile. “Don’t hold your breath on that, sweetheart.”

“I’m not your sweetheart,” the girl muttered as she continued to box up the pastries, and Eren appeared to be ringing up the old lady.

“Somehow I doubt you’re anyone’s sweetheart with that cheerful attitude,” Levi shot back – at least, she better not be *Eren’s* sweetheart. Something in what he said must have hit home, because there was a flash of pain on the girl’s face for a moment before it went blank again.

“Hey!”

Startled to hear Eren’s loud voice, Levi turned around to find his lover leaning over the counter beside the cash register, his eyes blazing with evident anger. “Don’t talk to Annie like that!”

Distracted for a moment by how attractive Eren was when he was furious, Levi blinked after a couple of seconds then shook his head. “I- I didn’t-“ Before he could say anything else, Eren leapt over the counter and grabbed at his left arm.

“Come on,” Eren ordered as he dragged Levi out of the bakery. “We need to talk.”

If it wasn’t for those last four words and the fact that Levi knew that he had pushed things the other day, Levi would have dug in his heels and shrugged off Eren’s hand, but this was Eren and he *might* have crossed – fuck it, he had stomped all over the damn line during their ‘date’. As long as Eren didn’t try to punch him or slap a restraining order on his ass, he’d let his lover blow off some steam.

As soon as they were in the small parking lot on the side of the bakery, Eren let go and flung his hands up in the air in a motion of pure frustration. “Just what the *hell* are you thinking? First you all but molest me in public after telling Mikasa that you’re my boyfriend, and you’re *not*, you’re in no fucking way my boyfriend, that was *not* a date, did I *not* tell you it wasn’t a date?”

“Uhm, that was a double negative there so-“

Eren’s eyes flashed in that particular way which made Levi’s cock twitch and his throat go dry and yeah, not helping, dipshit, Levi told himself even as his fingers itched to dig into that tousled dark brown hair.

“Fuck the grammar lesson and fuck you and not a date, okay?” Eren jabbed his right index finger in Levi’s face while Levi thought about just how much fucking he’d love for there to be right about then, dammit. “Now Mikasa thinks you’re my boyfriend and you show up here and you give Annie shit? No, just, *no*, unacceptable, do you hear me?” People were giving them a wide berth as Eren continued to rant. “It’s enough that you’re giving *me* shit, you don’t give my friends shit, too!” He finally came to a stop with the yelling, his disheveled bangs falling past the tip of his nose, his face flushed and chest heaving as he folded his arms over it. More than anything just then, Levi wanted to grasp Eren’s face between his palms and kiss him senseless, to shove him against the brick wall behind them and fuck all that passion out of him, to have Eren push him down and fuck him in return.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?”

Levi ran his fingers through his hair and gave the strands a quick tug. “Yeah, don’t give your coworkers any shit,” he mumbled as he did his best to focus on the *now*, on Eren’s still flushed face. Not helping. Not helping at all, dammit.

Eren stared back for a few seconds, his expression slowly changing to one of exasperation. “Did you… was there some head trauma in this life or something? Because I don’t remember you being this… well, *dense*, in the last one.”

The smart-ass remark helped to cool some of Levi’s ardor. “Are you fucking shitting me, brat?”

Now the look was one more of panic as Eren’s spine straightened and he held up his hands as if fending off Levi. “No! No sir! I was just… ah, this is so messed up.” He frowned as he jerked his right hand through his hair as if to tuck back the long bangs. “Why is everything so confusing?” He let out a harsh breath and then stared at his right hand as it fell back down, his brows drawn together as if searching for something on it before he shook his head. “There’s moments when I can’t tell the past from the present anymore.”

Levi knew the feeling. “Maybe because you’re fighting it so much – everyone else just accepts shit for what it is when they find their other half.”

That bit of wisdom earned him a rather sour look and another shake of the head. “Not everyone has such fucked up dreams and an old pervert butting into their lives. Why did you give Mikasa an alias like that?”

What the hell was up with this ‘Mikasa’ chick? Levi shoved his hands into the front pockets of his trench coat so Eren couldn’t see them clench into fists. “You obviously didn’t want her to know who I was with the way you hesitated to tell her my real name, so I improvised.” He paused for a second and decided to risk it. “Who the hell is she? You didn’t seem happy to see her back there.”

Eren began to tug off the plastic gloves he wore to dispense the food and shook his head. “She’s a good friend.” Something must have shown on Levi’s face at that answer because he sighed while he rolled up the gloves into a small ball. “She has my name, okay?”

“What?” The emotion from earlier in the bakery, something Levi now recognized as jealousy, flared up again. “So she’s what, trying to be your girlfriend?”

Perhaps it was something in his tone that made Eren’s eyes narrow and got the gloves tossed at his chest. “I’ve known her since I was in kindergarten, and *she’s* known for the entire time that I had *your* name, and for almost that long that I didn’t like girls. So no, she’s not trying to be my girlfriend, she’s just… she just looks out for me, okay?” Some of Eren’s anger seemed to melt away as he talked about the girl – about Mikasa.

Levi wanted to be jealous about that, but it helped, hearing the part about not liking girls. And he could remember something about Mikasa telling Eren that ‘they’ just wanted him ‘to be happy’. “Uhm, and what’s her name back in there?”

Eren groaned as he rubbed at his forehead. “Annie, that was *Annie*, and she’s a *friend*, a friend with someone else’s name and… we’re just friends, okay? So don’t give her any shit. Please.” Eren sounded tired and took to rubbing the back of his neck as he peered at Levi through the fall of his bangs.

About to say that Annie had started it, Levi had to remind himself that he was the adult here and it was best to just let it go. “I won’t start any shit with your friends or where you work, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

Eren continued to look at him like that, those gorgeous eyes framed by that tousled hair which Levi remembered being so soft, that Levi couldn’t help himself; he reached out to slide the fingers of his right hand through it. Eren went still at first, then closed his eyes and canted his head toward Levi’s hand, which prompted Levi to open up his fingers until he could palm the side of Eren’s head. “Shitty brat,” he murmured as he shifted forward.

“Captain,” Eren breathed out as his thick eyelashes fluttered shut.

“Uhm, your, uhm, stuff?”

Eren let out a yelp and jumped back while at the same time he shoved Levi away; the girl from the other day – Sasha – stood a few feet away with a large bag of pastry boxes in her hands.

“Uhm, the stuff… maybe I should….” She gave Eren a significant look, her cheeks red for some reason.

“No, *no*.” He shook his head as he all but snatched the bag from her. “How much does Levi owe you?”

“Ah, $29.68,” she said while frowning at Eren. “Are you-“

“Thanks so much, I’ll be back inside in a couple of minutes,” he told her while holding out the bag to Levi.

Taking the fucking hint, Levi sighed and handed the girl thirty bucks; he would need to talk to Erwin about some sort of expense account soon. “Thank you.”

“Sure!” She gave him a nervous smile before fleeing inside.

He noticed how Eren didn’t look at him as he accepted the pastries and clicked his tongue; dammit, did the girl have to interrupt just then? “So, we still have to figure out this dream shit and everything.”

That got his lover’s attention; Eren looked over and frowned. “Like things went so well last time?”

Ignoring the sarcasm just then, Levi hoped that he didn’t regret this. “Maybe I overstepped a little.” He ignored Eren’s loud scoff – well, maybe he scowled just a bit. “So to make up for it, I’ll let you pick *anything* for our next outing.”

Oh yeah, that definitely got Eren’s attention. “Anything?” When Levi nodded, already suspecting that he would regret it, Eren grinned. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Levi felt a sinking feeling at the gleam in his lover’s eyes just then. “Just call me later to tell me when to pick you up.” Oh yeah, it was bad when Eren didn’t seem to realize that Levi would get a legitimate reason to know where he lived out of it, at least.

“I can manage that.” Eren waved at him as he headed back to work. “Better get going before traffic gets bad.”

“Okay. Don’t poison anyone.”

“One *fucking* time!” Eren shouted as Levi went to his car with a smile on his face.

*******

Armin returned to the table with his coffee and Mikasa’s tea order and had to laugh. “Okay, is it a meme or text?”

“Hmm?” Still frowning a little, his friend looked up at him. “Is it what?”

“Whatever has you so upset right now? Did Eren send something annoying or what?” He smiled before he took a sip of his coffee, then winced and decided to give it a few more minutes to cool.

“Ah.” Mikasa’s brow smoothed out and she shook her head. “I’m just not finding much out about that ‘Lenny Rivialle’. Do you think it’s a nickname, ‘Lenny’? I’m finding a few ‘L Rivialle’s out there, maybe-“

“Mikasa.” When she didn’t look at him, he stressed her first name again. “*Mikasa*.” That time she did pay attention with him, albeit with a sigh. “Let it go, okay? Eren is a big boy now, he is old enough to date whomever he wants. Part of growing up is going through a few frogs, you know.”

The frown returned as she set aside her phone and picked up her chai tea. “I don’t want him to be hurt, not like what happened with that Sam asshole.”

No one did. “I think Eren’s gotten a little better on that front.” Armin winced at the memory of Eren’s first boyfriend and shook his head, both at how it had turned out and how long Sam Anderson had ended up in the hospital after his ‘slip’ down the stairwell. “But this could be good, him seeing someone. Lately he’s been too caught up in, well, his ‘name’ to remember to live in the now.” Armin couldn’t help but to touch the name on his own chest as he spoke, and forced his hand to fall back down onto his lap.

Mikasa’s expression softened as she stared at him, and she reached out to touch the hand wrapped around his cup of coffee. “I guess I’m just used to worrying about him. If you think it’s all right….”

“I think it might be good for him,” Armin agreed. “He needs a break from studying all the time and he definitely needs a break from ‘Levi’.” He couldn’t help the slight bit of bitterness that slipped into his tone at the end there.

“And what about you, hmm?”

Mikasa always was the observant sort; he gave her a slight smile and risked another sip of coffee, and was thankful when it had cooled down a little. “Me? I’m fine,” he told her when he set the cup back on the table.

“You know, your ears don’t turn red when you lie, but you shift about in your seat a little when you’re sitting down.”

Dammit. “Okay, I’m stressed about my classes and thinking that I didn’t need to take that one lab course this semester, and I’ve an asshole neighbor on the one side who seems to think playing his music really loud helps him study. Happy now?” He slunk down in his seat and folded his arms over his chest, annoyed even when he knew this was only a small part of the mothering that Eren normally put up with and at the same time touched by his friend’s concern.

“Not quite.” Mikasa sipped her tea then held the cup between her two hands. “Still no sign of ‘Annalie’?”

Ah, so she was worried on that front. Armin let out a slow breath and scrubbed his hands over his face as he tried to figure out how to feel about the question. “I’m not really looking, okay? I get this feeling… it might be best to let her come to me.”

Mikasa seemed to consider that question for several seconds. “And do you want her to come to you.”

There was a sudden rush of emotion upon hearing that question, and Armin’s hands shook when he reached for his coffee. “I don’t want to answer that,” he told Mikasa, and even though he saw how that answer hurt his dear friend, he shook his head. “Look, it’s… it’s personal.” He thought of Eren and offered her a sad smile. “And it’s complicated. Right now, we have enough complicated name stuff going on with Eren, so let’s just try to get his mess settled and then we can worry about me, all right?”

“But you deserve to be happy, too,” Mikasa insisted.

“I am.” Armin managed a smile as he leaned forward. “I’ve my two best friends at my side, and I’m working toward a degree I’ve always wanted even if it’s kicking my ass. Life is… mostly good. I’ll take it.”

“If you say so.” Mikasa sighed in an evident sign that she wasn’t entirely pleased with the way the conversation had gone then glanced her phone. “How much longer until you have to be at your first class?”

“Hmm?” He leaned forward to check the time. “Another twenty minutes or so.”

“Okay. So have you met Eren’s friends Ymir and Krista? Krista seems nice, but Ymir? I’m not so sure she’s a good influence on him.”

Armin laughed as Mikasa told him about what had happened the night before as the four of them hung out at Finch’s, well aware of how possessive Ymir could be over her girlfriend and how much Ymir and Eren loved to snark back and forth with each other. It was just what he needed to put all thoughts of Annalie- of *Annie* - out of his mind.

*******

Eren was pulling on a fresh set of gloves when Annie sidled up next to him and handed him his cap, which must have fallen off when he jumped over the counter. “So, gave the ‘bastard’ a piece of your mind, did you?”

He shrugged as he nodded in thanks and shoved it back in place. “More or less. I let him know that he can’t come in here and give you or anyone else any grief, at the least.”

“That’s appreciated, seeing how Shadis won’t like it if Ymir or I kick him in that smart mouth of his.”

The thing was, Eren could see the both of them doing just that, so he smiled at Annie and shook his head. “Blood is such a pain to clean up – I mean, there’s the bleach and the biohazard and all that.”

“Hmm, plus if it gets on any of the stock, we have to throw it all out and Sasha’s inconsolable for days,” Annie agreed. “Don’t want that.”

“Way too much gnashing of teeth and wailing.” Eren grinned as he began prepping boxes since the lull between customers wouldn’t last for long.

“Speaking of stock….” Annie finished refilling the donut case and dusted off her hands. “I put your ‘special’ order in the box, hope I didn’t ruin anything.”

Eren thought about the donuts he’d prepared that morning in anticipation of Levi’s visit today, and despite the fact that they’d parted on decent terms, he didn’t feel as if anything was in jeopardy. Considering that Levi had come in here and stirred up shit, it served him right in a way. “Nah, I think it’s all good. Should serve as a reminder that there’s nothing between us.”

“Hmm.” Annie had a blank look on her face as she wiped down the top of the display cases, but Eren knew her well enough to understand what that meant.

“Honestly, *nothing*,” he gritted out.

“Right, that’s why you just let him kiss you the other day, and Sasha came in here advising Shadis to leave you alone out there.”

Great, so now Sasha was spreading lies, nice to know. “Nothing happened!” Eren insisted.

Annie rolled her eyes and tossed the cleaning cloth at him. “Because Sasha interrupted?”

“Uhm….”

“Right, busted.” Annie pointed at him with the window cleaner. “So you nearly let him molest you again and *nothing* is happening with you two.” When he gave a nervous laugh, she sighed and set the cleaner aside before she fisted her hands on her hips. “What else?”

“We’re… going out- it’s not a date!” he insisted when she threw her hands into the air. “Honest! I get to pick the place, and I swear, it’ll be something to drive him crazy! Nothing romantic at all!”

Annie shook her head as she picked up the window cleaner to put it away. “Listen… he’s your name and you know what’s best for you, but there has to be a reason your head is throwing all this bad stuff at you. You might want to figure out why that is.”

Her words were like a jolt of cold water to Eren in that they sobered him up in an instant. “I am, I swear.” He rubbed at the back of his neck as he attempted to put his jumbled thoughts in order. “Levi… when I’m with him everything gets all mixed up, I don’t know if I’m furious with him or not, if it’s the past or the present… even the dreams are beginning to change. But yeah, I’ll keep in mind the nightmares even as we attempt to find out why both of us have different dreams.”

Annie gave a quick nod in return, since someone was coming through the door. “Good. Because if it’s like – sometimes it’s best to leave the pain in the past,” she said in a rush before she forced a now bland expression on her face and turned toward the customer.

As the businessman asked for a dozen donuts, Eren pushed aside his curiosity and once again told his mind to focus on work.

*******

Levi refused to pull out his phone and check it – he had barely left the bakery and knew that Eren wouldn’t get back to him about their ‘date’ anytime soon. Still, *date*. He had managed a second date with Eren, with his lover, and even if they ended up… up… fuck, he hoped Eren wasn’t too pissed off right now. They wouldn’t end up at a buffet or something horrid like that, would they? Maybe Levi should call his doctor and get a pack of antibiotics to have on hand just in case.

Since he was running late, he headed straight into the conference room where Erwin, Hange and Mike were waiting, and grunted out a ‘hello’ as he dropped into the empty chair close to where Erwin was standing and going over something on the whiteboard.

“Nice of you to join us,” Erwin remarked with a sarcastic tone as he paused in drawing a line between some squiggly square to a bunch of dots; Levi figured he was going on about the planned server upgrade, especially since Mike appeared to be in pain right about then.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry I wasn’t here on time like always and missed you fuck up the difference between Tomcat and WebLogic, like always.” Levi glared at the asshole as he dropped the bag of pastries on the table.

Mike huffed as he beat Hange to the goodies. “Haven’t gotten that far yet, right now he’s mixing up Oracle and Linux.”

Erwin did that awful sighing thing he did while his monstrous brows grew furrowed, a sure sign that he’d spend the rest of his day sequestered in his office pouting. “Excuse me, but isn’t there a reason I pay you two rather generous salaries to know the difference for me?”

Levi sneered while he unbuttoned his coat. “Yeah, but you don’t see me pretending to know shit about forecasting and… whatever when talking to the customers, right? So just grab a damn danish, sit the fuck down and let Mike tell you how much those shiny new servers are going to cost your ass this year.”

Erwin cast a look Hange’s way as if hoping that she’d stick up for him or at least take his side in the fight, but all she did was shake her head while she scooted her chair closer to Mike’s so she could snag a shitty donut all the faster. “All I care about is that they help me calculate faster. Could be the next HAL and it won’t bother me, just as long as it predicts the culture’s growth pattern successfully while murdering the interns.”

Erwin sighed as he pinched at the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know if I should increase the mental health part of our health care benefits or cut it out all-together.”

“Some people are a lost cause – you should be worried about the long term effects of all the sugar and fat some of them are ingesting. Maybe consider a weight-“ Levi was interrupted by a loud, braying laugh when Hange began to shift through one of the boxes.

Having a feeling that he knew what had set her off, he sighed while he rubbed along his forehead. “What did Eren send this time?”

Even Mike chortled as he pulled the box away from Hange and slid it toward Levi. “You piss off someone lately?” the burly Head of IT asked, amusement lighting up his usually impassive face as he tilted the box so Levi and Erwin could see its contents.

Okay, so Levi had to give Eren kudos for creativity; it looked as if he had taken a long donut and cut it in half both length and width, stuck two donut holes on one end with icing and half of another on the tip, covered it with pale pink icing and written ‘Levi’s dick’ on top with bright blue icing, then repeated it several times. Ha ha, very funny, implying that Levi had a tiny dick, which he didn’t. Which he would only be too happy to prove to Eren at the very first opportunity.

As if reading his thoughts, Hange continued to guffaw as she leaned over to peer into the box. “Wow, he really doesn’t know you, does he?”

“I believe it’s safe to say you annoyed him with your date this past Saturday,” Erwin just had to remark as he riffled through another box for a damn danish.

“Yeah, but not enough that he turned down my offer for another one,” Levi pointed out with some pride as he continued to stare at the… what? Donut dicks? What the hell was he going to do with them?

While he debated if he was going to throw them out or actually keep one of them because insult or not, they were sorta cute, Hange reached over to grab one. “What the fuck are you doing?”

She didn’t hesitate to take a bite out of the damn thing, which caused Levi, Mike and Erwin to wince even if it was just a donut. “Oh relax,” she chided after chewing a few times. “I’m Ace, it’s not like this means anything to me.” Then she grinned as she took another bite, though at least she swallowed before speaking again. “Though it is funny to say that I finally got Levi’s dick in my mouth, considering all those rumors when we lived together during university.”

Erwin had the sense to grab onto Levi’s left arm to keep him from lunging across the table after the lunatic, while Hange started to cackle as she snatched up the box of dick donuts then ran from the room. “I will shove those shitty donuts so far up your ass you’ll be tasting them for weeks!” Levi shouted at the traitor as she fled.

“Ha ha! Now, now, you already got your snookums, don’t be a cheater!”

“Drop dead you… you shitty glasses!”

Erwin sighed as he shoved Levi back into his chair. “I can only imagine how much more successful we would be as a company if we didn’t spend half our time fighting with each other.

“And fuck you too for letting her get away.” Levi muttered as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Until you can figure out a strain of drug resistant antibiotics, I’ll just have to keep spoiling your fun,” Erwin shot back as he smoothed his right hand down the front of his dark grey suit. “Just hope that Eren poisoned *that* batch of pastries, and let us get back to the topic at hand, shall we?”

Yeah, maybe Eren hadn’t listened to him about the poisoning shit – Levi kept that in mind as he motioned for Erwin and Mike to continue.

*******

Eren fussed with his hair while he talked on the phone with Mikasa. “No, it’s nothing big, okay? We’re just hanging out for a little bit tonight,” he assured her.

“Do you need me to call you if the date goes on too long or something?”

He winced at the word ‘date’ and tried not to sigh at Mikasa’s overprotectiveness. “I’ll be fine, but thanks. You need to worry about getting enough rest, what with the new workout routine and all.”

“Text me when you get home,” she ordered. “I want to know you’re all right.”

“Fine. Now go soak and get something to eat, you sound tired.”

“Be careful.” Mikasa seemed a bit better when she hung up, but Eren knew he had best leave a reminder to text her or else she’d be up all night worrying about him; he grabbed one of his notebooks and left a big ‘text Mikasa’ note on his bed, which he’d see when he went to sleep if not before then. The last of his obligatory calls taken care of for the day, he went to the bathroom once more to fuss with his hair and swore to make an hair appointment the next day – his bangs were now down to his nose and he had hair past the collar of his green and white knitted shirt.

He had just gone into the kitchen to fetch his jacket when there was a knock on the door; when he checked his phone, he found the time to be six pm exactly. Yeah, someone was still anal about those things, apparently. Eren found himself smiling as he grabbed his jacket and shoved the phone into its inner pocket, then headed to the door. “I give you bonus points for being prompt,” he teased as he opened it, his smile faltering as he caught sight of Levi.

If he’d thought that Levi had looked good the other day… okay, wow. Levi had slicked his hair back again, a few strands still falling into his grey eyes, and had chosen a knit shirt similar to Eren’s except that it was much more expensive and form fitting. The deep blue color of his shirt made his grey eyes seem more riveting, along with his pale skin and black hair, and those tight black jeans….

“You going to let me in?”

“Wah? Uhm, yeah, okay?” Eren felt his face heat up as he stumbled backwards, out of the way. “Let me get my shoes on and we can go.” He ducked his head and let his hair fall forward to hide his face as he grabbed a pair of old hiking boots to wear for the evening.

“Huh, place looks nice,” Levi remarked as he glanced around the living room.

“Oh not you, too,” Eren snapped once he stood up. “I’m not a pig.”

Levi gave him a flat look as he held open the door with the intent of Eren going out it first. “I didn’t say you were – just think it looks a hell of a lot nicer than my apartment did back when I was in university.”

Oh, okay. Eren rubbed at the back of his neck and offered up a sheepish smile in apology as he stepped into the hallway, then waited for Levi to join him before he locked the door. “Okay. So where did you go?”

“Karanese University.” Levi motioned for Eren to go down the hallway, toward the exit which would lead to the front parking lot. “Got in there on a scholarship but had to spend the first two years in the dorm. Wasn’t until I found a roommate I could barely tolerate that I had enough money for an apartment, and even then we couldn’t afford much.”

“Still, that’s very impressive, a full scholarship.” Eren had no problem conceding the fact that the Levi he knew was a driven person and so was probably very successful in this life. Plus, it was a better topic than about where Eren worked… and the donuts he’d snuck into Levi’s order.

“Eh, my mom smacked it into my head that a high school education wasn’t going to be enough.” By that point they had reached the parking lot, and Eren could see Levi’s expensive car parked at the far end. “She didn’t care what I did or studied, just that I got some sort of certification or degree.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.”

“She is.” They walked a little in silence, Levi close enough to Eren for his hand to brush against him a time or two, and then Levi clicked his tongue. “You going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Oh, yeah, guess I should.” Eren pulled out his phone so he could find the address of the place, and then sent it to Levi, whose phone ‘dinged’ right as they reached the sports car. “There, now you can put that in your GPS.”

Levi gave him a flat look, especially since Eren hadn’t included the name to the place, but hey, Eren was here with him, had allowed him to know where he lived, so he should be happy right now – especially since it was a weekday night. If Eren wasn’t desperate to figure out what was going on with his dreams as well as caught up with his assignments, Levi would have to wait a few more nights for their… well, *not* date.

Another thing in the man’s favor was that, okay, nice car. Eren made a happy noise as he sunk into the leather seats, and his fingers itched to fiddle with the sound system while Levi frowned at his phone while he seemed to memorize the address. “This is in the Cultural district.”

“Hmm, yeah. Heated seats, right?”

“Yes.” Levi sighed as he turned on Eren’s, which prompted another happy noise. “Put on your seatbelt.”

“Yes, sir.” Eren did as he was told and enjoyed the ride, during which Levi asked him several questions about his classes.

They parked in a pay lot not too far from the address, and Levi appeared frustrated when they got out onto the sidewalk. “Okay, what the hell do you have in mind for tonight?”

Eren grinned as he grabbed the bastard’s left elbow and tugged him down the street. “Just something to loosen you up a little, help us get to know each other a little better and then afterwards, we can have another cup of coffee and talk.” When Levi’s face went blank again, he laughed. “It’s this or a petting zoo, I’m warning you now.” Oh yeah, he figured there was no *way* the clean freak would accept the latter choice.

“You’re not instilling me with any confidence. What is it, some kids….” Levi seemed to realize that they had arrived at their destination, with its brightly painted windows proclaiming ‘Slinging Mud’. “Oh hell no….”

“Oh hell yes,” Eren insisted. “It’ll be fun! Well, it’ll be interesting.”

“Pottery? Make your own pottery? Are you – yes, you are insane, how could I have forgotten that fact?” Levi attempted to tug himself free, but Eren managed to barely get him across the threshold. “Can’t I just take you out to an expensive as fuck dinner?”

“Nope, we’re doing this or I’m going home,” Eren threatened.

Levi heaved a massive sigh of defeat and gave in with not quite good grace.

*******

Mud. He was covered in mud. Oh, well, technically it was clay, but it was still dirt and Levi had it all over his hands, beneath his *nails*, on his wrists and halfway up his forearms – thankfully he had rolled his shirt past his elbows – and he could even feel a little on his face from when he forgot about the mess and touched it a few times. His clothes had been spared thanks to the biggest apron he could find, but *mud*.

And the worst of it? Well, beside that his bowl was turning out uneven, was the fact that Eren sat next to him, just as dirty but looked as fuckable as always. Looked ready to be shoved onto the nearest flat surface with that sparkle in his eyes, that pleased grin and swath of greyish green caked clay along his left cheekbone, dirty hands stroking along what was supposed to be a vase for his mother. A long, cylindrical lump of-

“Ah, sir? Your walls are caving in again.”

“Fuck,” Levi swore as he attempted to focus on his bowl once more and not a much better way in which him and his lover could get all filthy.

One of the people teaching the class, a young woman who appeared about Eren’s age with her light brown hair pulled back in a neat bun, gave him an encouraging smile. “You’re not doing too bad for your first time.” While Levi glowered at the misshapen bowl in front of him, she went on to the other couple not too far away and Eren chuckled.

“Yeah, pretty good for your ‘first time’.” When Levi glanced up and gave him a heated look from beneath his lashes, Eren’s face became flushed and his vase took a decided tilt to the left. “Ah, I mean….”

“So why did you pick this, other than to torture me?”

Eren sighed as he did his best to fix the vase, his teeth biting into his bottom lip in such a way that did nothing for Levi’s whole ‘throw him to the floor’ urge. “Well… I was a bit hot-tempered as a kid.”

“No, not you.”

That provoked another one of those familiar glares, until Eren figured out that Levi was joking. “Yeah, yeah, I know, big surprise.” Eren gave him a lopsided grin before he frowned at the vase. “Anyway, my mom dragged me into one of these places back home one day, and even though I spent most of that first session just throwing mud down and punching it… I felt better. The next time I managed a really pathetic bowl, and the time after that I was determined to make something semi-decent. It’s similar to baking, I guess. The sports stuff only did so much to wear me out, but things like this gave me something to focus on and allowed me to spend time with my mom.”

Levi could see how this could be soothing, the whole dirt aspect of it aside – even playing with clay had some sort of benefit in that his fingers felt rather smooth at the moment. “So you dragged me in for some dirty Zen shit, basically.”

That earned him another laugh. “Yeah, you could say that. I wanted to see what you would do, if you’d go through with the whole thing, and maybe it would clear our heads a little before we talked about, you know, the dream stuff.” Eren shrugged as he pulled his hands away from the vase, which actually looked decent just then, the ass.

It only seemed fair, after what Levi had done to him on their last date, and there was something that he’d realized about halfway through the ordeal. Levi felt the urge to smirk as one of the instructors called out to everyone that they only had a few more minutes to put finishing touches on their projects. “You could just say that you wanted an excuse to hang out with me.”

“Eh?” Eren’s brow became furrowed as he stared at Levi. “Are you delusional or something? The mess getting to you?”

Levi allowed himself a small smile as he gestured to the front of the ‘class’, where the young woman with the pulled back hair was speaking. “Leave your projects where they are and go clean up – we’ll take care of the drying and firing process, and you can come back next week to paint the finished product.”

Eren’s eyes went wide when he seemed to finally realize that tonight wasn’t a one-time thing. “Shit.”

“Yep, so six pm next Monday?”

There was a loud sigh as Eren’s shoulders slumped forward, and then he seemed to think of something that made him smile. “It’ll be worth it to see you handle the painting part.”

Levi suppressed a shudder, but just barely, as he thought about being around a bunch of idiots with paint. “I bet I do a better job than you.”

“Oh you are so *on*,” Eren insisted.

He couldn’t resist it – he knew Erwin urged him to take things slow, that his friend pointed out small bits of progress were better than none, but Levi kept dreaming of the times when Eren had been completely *his* and this irrational, ridiculous barrier between them was driving him insane. So he couldn’t help but push, couldn’t help but rely upon that stubborn, competitive streak inside of his lover. “Oh, how much you wanna bet?”

His gorgeous eyes gleaming with interest and a sly grin on his face, Eren leaned forward and almost rested his hands on his thighs until he remembered that they were covered in clay. “How about I get to borrow your fancy car for a week, hmm?”

Levi only hesitated for a few seconds, and that was to make it look good. “Deal. And when you lose-“

“*If* I lose, and that’s not gonna happen,” Eren interrupted.

“*When*,” Levi insisted, “I get a proper date. No coffee shops, no dirt,” he paused to sneer at the ‘works of art’ in front of them, “I decide what we do the entire night and you go along with it.”

For a moment it looked as if Eren would object, but then his lower jaw jutted out and he nodded. “Deal. But you’re not going to win – I’ve been doing this shit for years.”

Yeah, and Levi’s mom got fed up with him being all ‘anti-social’ and getting into fights in high school and forced him to participate in a bunch of stupid shit in the vain hope that he’d make friends. He didn’t make many... but he spent an awful lot of time making props for all the stupid shit the drama club needed for their plays and musicals, or for the various school events. Pottery? No thanks. Wood work and painting? Oh yes, Eren was going down.

******* 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you do with a box of dick donuts?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry that it took a week for this, but real life... eh, it hasn't been the best the past week or so. Not looking so good for the upcoming week, so there may be a delay for the next part, even though these next few chapters should really start moving the plot along. Anyway, did what I could to get this one out (wasn't sure I could), and hopefully you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Really appreciate the comments and kudos!  
> *******

*******

Eren sighed as he finished texting Mikasa and then laid back on his bed, mind whirring about from the… dammit, it hadn’t been a date. The… ‘outing’ earlier with Levi had been decent, had turned out a lot better than their previous encounter on Saturday, in part because there had been no interruptions and no unexpected groping. And dammit, he was *not* going to be upset about the lack of groping, it wasn’t like Levi was that great of a kisser or anything.

“Dammit,” Eren muttered as he tugged on his bangs in frustration. After finishing their pottery, they had gone to a nearby coffee shop to sit and talk for over an hour. Levi had insisted on paying, and hadn’t batted an eye at Eren’s choice of a caramel frappuccino. Once they had sat down, Eren had been surprised at how comfortable the situation had been, how… how normal it had seemed to just talk. Even when the topic had turned to Eren's nightmares, just being with Levi had kept the more turbulent emotions at bay, especially when countered by Levi’s calm retelling of his own dreams. Lately it was becoming so confusing, like walking into that old funhouse at the carnival Mikasa and Armin had dragged him to back in the fall during sixth grade, the one that had the room with all the distorted mirrors. One moment things appeared normal and the next everything was all twisted, and Eren didn’t know anymore from minute to minute what it would be inside of his head - what type of dream he’d have from night to night.

Levi was supposed to be a bastard, an abusive asshole, and yeah, okay, he pulled some stupid shit… but most of the time he was proving to be a good guy. A snarky, foul-mouthed good guy, but a good guy none-the-less. Was it an act? Was Eren going to blink one day and find the cold-eyed bastard from his nightmares staring back at him? Could someone maintain a charade like that for so long? Or had Levi changed during this life?

Groaning from all the confusing thoughts in his head, Eren decided that he’d had enough for the night and that it was best to just give up and get some sleep – he needed the rest before his morning shift. As he got ready for bed, he hoped that his dreams that night wouldn’t be too weird.

*******

“So, what did your snookums make for you today?”

Levi sighed as he set the large bag of pastries down on his desk. “You’re not fooling anyone, you just want your crack fix,” he told Hange. “You’re even drooling – so disgusting,” he sneered as his fingers itched to grab a disinfecting wipe and throw it at her.

The pest laughed as she made grabbing motions at the bag. “Never could fool you, could I? Now come on, open up the goodies and show mama.”

“The world is in serious trouble if you ever reproduce.” Levi shuddered in horror at the thought while he got out of the way. “And there shouldn’t be any message today – Eren works the afternoon shift on Thursdays.”

“Eh?” Hange paused in pulling open the bag to blink a couple of times. “But you got the goodies.”

Levi shrugged as he sank into his chair. “Figured it wasn’t worth the shit of me showing up without the stuff – you guys are horrid addicts, you know. Any idea what a steady diet of that stuff is doing to you?”

Hange scoffed as she took a quick peek inside of the top box then set it on the desk in front of him. “As if you don’t enjoy those fancy croissants of yours, Mr. Prissy Pants.” While he scowled at her for the insult, she laughed upon unearthing her precious box of éclairs. “Just admit it, he’s got you so whooped that you’re buying stuff to make a good impression.”

“Am not,” Levi grumbled. So what if he wanted to make a point to that Annie chick – he wasn’t going to ‘stop’ going to the bakery just because he couldn’t see Eren. Though it wasn’t the same, walking into the shop and not seeing his lover behind the counter or coming back here to open the white boxes to find what ‘message’ Eren had made for him that day.

Monday it had been the donut 'dicks', which still made Levi smile just to think about them.

Tuesday – maybe because of the teasing he'd given Eren the previous morning about the whole 'poison' thing – there had been ‘you suck’ along with accompanying tongue out emoji written on the cream and custard filled donuts. Levi had taken great pride in texting his lover the fact that he did indeed suck, and had never received any complaints about it; the various incoherent texts that had come back had actually made him laugh during Mike’s morning meeting, enough so that Erwin had asked if they needed to take a break.

Wednesday’s message had been frowny faces made out of dark chocolate on the croissants, in which Levi had indulged in a rare two pastries himself just because he knew Eren had taken the time to handle them, as well as the fact that Eren’s feistiness had always been something he’d adored about his lover. Despite the juvenileness of the whole ‘message’ thing, it now felt that they had some new connection of sorts, were building something personal between them other than the names etched onto their chests – even if it were some sort of perverse joke.

Hange made a weird half hum-half moaning sound as she bit into her éclair and chewed for a few seconds. “So what, you got another date on Monday? Any other plans before then?”

“No.” Levi paused in logging on to his laptop to glance up when Hange made a scoffing sound. “It’s not as if I think he’s right or anything, but maybe there’s a little sense to what Erwin was saying.” His glare went up a notch when Hange took to laughing, which she stifled by shoving the rest of the shitty éclair into her mouth. “I’m giving Eren a little space so he doesn’t think I’m rushing him or anything.”

“Hmm, faih ‘nuff,” Hange slurred through the mouthful of food before she swallowed. “You won’t bag your snookums if you spook ‘em too much.”

“I won’t bag him at all if he sees what a bunch of pathetic losers I choose to associate with,” Levi pointed out as he shoved the rest of the boxes of pastries away from him with obvious disgust. “Don’t you have dangerous pathogens to go play with or something?”

Hange cackled as she gathered up the boxes into the bag. “Fine, I can take a hint.” At Levi’s incredulous stare, she cackled some more. “No, really I can, I’ve been working on it! Well, maybe about forty percent of the time, but I’m improving!” At his incredulous scoff, she flapped her left hand about as she snatched up the bag of pastries. “If you weren’t feeding my custard habit, I’d tell you off for the asshole you are.”

“You’ve done that about a thousand times already,” he reminded the pest.

“Huh, yeah, right.” Hange didn’t seem upset about that fact. “Why we get along and all.” She laughed as he threw his mouse at her, which she ducked of course because she was long used to him throwing shit at her, just as he was used to checking any and all drinks before taking a sip in case she slipped ‘something’ into it ‘for the sake of science’. His life – so fucked up since he met her… yeah, he’d keep telling himself that.

Alone in his office at last, he flipped open the box of pastries that Hange had left him and smiled at the various croissants inside. Despite how delicious they were, they did seem so ‘plain’ without Eren’s decorative handwriting or embellishments, yet Levi still picked one out and set it aside to enjoy with a cup of tea after he went through his inbox.

It would be difficult, getting through the next few days without seeing Eren, but his endgame was to reach a time when Eren would be with him every day, would be there in the morning when he woke up and when he went to sleep at night. He’d endured these past years without Eren, he could endure a few more weeks or so, however long it took until Eren realized that they were meant to be together. Each time they met only strengthened Levi’s resolve, and he wouldn’t allow his doubts or Eren’s delusions keep them apart.

*******

“I still think that I need to make better friends,” Eren told Annie as he held up the shot glass to see if there was anything left in it.

Annie scoffed as she pushed a full shot glass – it was probably Marco’s since he tended to pace himself through the night and ended up as a designated driver – toward him. “And I still say that you need to make better life choices.”

“Uhm, how about yes to both?” Eren paused to toss back the shot – which ew, was something butterscotch flavored, what the hell was Jean buying his boyfriend – and grimaced as he wiped at his lips. “I mean, I could start with the better life choices by making better friends.” He glanced down at the dance floor from their table then shook his head when he spied Jean and Marco grinding against each other, Ymir and Krista only being a little more appropriate and Connie and Sasha… yeah, he felt sorry for the people around those two hyper idiots. “Let’s pretend we don’t know them so we don’t get thrown out as well.”

“Hey, I’m only here for the free drinks,” Annie insisted. “Speaking of which, we need another round.” She frowned as she began to stack up the empty shot glasses.

Eren hopped off of the bar stool and wavered a little when he stood up; okay, seemed like the shots were finally kicking in, but a couple more wouldn’t hurt; it was his birthday celebration, he was out with friends and it was Friday night. “I’ll go get a few more, courtesy of Jean’s tab. You’ll be okay?” He’d noticed a few guys checking Annie out while they’d been watching their friends dance, and it wasn’t only because of the black miniskirt she was wearing.

There was a cold gleam to Annie’s eyes as she hefted a shot glass as if it were a projectile weapon. “Reiner’s on duty tonight, he knows I don’t take any crap from guys who can’t handle a ‘thanks but no thanks’.”

Ah yeah, the tall bouncer who had given Eren a free pass once it had been explained that he’d stuck up for Annie and Krista. “All right then, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Get some more waters, too!”

He waved to show that he’d heard it and made his way to the bar, and managed to squeeze in when someone left to either go to the dance floor or bathroom. Once the harried bartender came over, Eren explained that he was with the party at one of the tables and put in an order a round of liquid cocaine shots and some waters.

“I’m sorry! We’re really slammed tonight, let me get that for you,” the girl explained as she swiped at the dyed blue and purple bangs falling onto her sweaty face.

“I’d appreciate it.” Eren would have to tell Marco to get on Jean to leave a nice tip for tonight then settled in for the wait. While the bartender put together the order, another guy brushed up beside him.

“Are they giving away free drinks tonight or what?” The guy, who looked maybe a year or two older than Eren with dark blond hair and light brown eyes, smiled as he motioned to the crowded bar area.

“I think it’s just the first really warm night in forever and the lull in exams,” Eren said as he gave the guy a neutral smile. “Everyone wanted to get out and do something.”

“So it seems.” The guy smiled, which showed off his dimples, and held out his right hand. “I’m Matt.”

“Eren.” They shook hands, and part of Eren noticed how handsome Matt was, the nice body beneath the tight black t-shirt and jeans, the strong jaw and striking looks.

Matt’s fingers tightened around Eren’s, causing the handshake to linger. “So, you here by yourself or with… friends?”

He was being hit on, wasn’t he? Eren jerked his left hand through his hair as he gave Matt – a guy he would have, that he *should have*, found interesting – a bland smile and was thankful when the bartender returned with a tray of drinks. “I’m here with friends,” he answered as he tugged his hand free.

“Oh?” Matt didn’t seem willing to give up just yet. “Looks like you’re having a good time, considering all of that. Celebrating something?”

“No, we just needed a break from studying and all.” Eren pulled the tray closer to him then paused. “It’s why I left my boyfriend at home,” he ‘explained’ as he tugged down the collar of his long sleeved green t-shirt to expose Levi’s name. “Just us university kids letting off some steam.”

“Ah.” There was a distinct lessening in the charm pouring off of Matt at the display of the name. “Oh well, thought maybe since you were alone that it wasn’t like that. Hope you have a good time,” he said as he waved Eren away.

“It’s all good. Nice meeting you,” Eren told him as he picked up the tray and left the bar, mindful of the crowd of people as he headed back to the table. As he neared it, he noticed a disgruntled looking guy stomping away in an obvious huff.

He slid the tray onto the table and grabbed the nearest shot. “Breaking hearts already?”

“Why do some guys assume that if you’re here alone, you’re desperate to get laid?” Annie blinked while she watched Eren toss back the shot, then reached for a glass of water so she could take a sip. “Wow, okay, did I miss something?”

“Why do some guys assume that if you’re here alone, you’re desperate to get laid?” Eren mimicked as he reached for another shot that went much of the way of the first. When he went to grab a third, Annie forced a cup of water into his hand instead.

“So what, was the guy an ass about it or something?”

Eren sighed into the cup before taking a couple of swallows. “No.”

Annie blinked at that then rested her right elbow on top of the table and cupped her chin in the palm of her hand, her blonde hair falling around her face since she’d left it down for once. “Okay then, so what’s wrong with this scenario?”

Eren groaned as he set the cup aside then scrubbed his fingers through his hair which, dammit, was still uncut. “Because the guy was hot and he wasn’t an asshole and I should have… oh, I don’t know, at least been flattered. But I looked at him and all I could think about was his hair wasn’t black and his eyes weren’t grey and he was too damn tall and… he wasn’t Levi.” Fucked, he was so fucked; he’d come here to help *distract* himself from thinking about Levi, and now he was turning down guys because of the bastard? Oh yeah, *fucked*.

It was quiet around the table after his rushed admission, and then Annie first reached for a shot glass which she tossed back with ease, and then she reached for another which she set in front of him while she grabbed a second one for herself. There was a look of understanding on her face when she clicked the small glass in her hand against the rim of his, and Eren had to wonder if the reason she always turned down offers from other guys was if she was hung up on Armin despite the fact that she refused to have anything to do with his friend. A wave of pity and sympathy washed through him when they raised their glasses together in a parody of a toast, and they had just set the empty glasses back down on the table when Ymir, Krista, Jean and Marco returned from the dance floor.

“What the hell? You guys got another round of shots without us?” Jean demanded to know as he pushed back the sweaty bangs falling onto his flushed face.

“Yes we did.” Annie split another two shots between them as she glared at Horse-face. “It’s *our* birthdays, and we didn’t give you any shit about that pitcher of Orgasms you just *had* to have for your birthday party.”

“Or all the fuckin’ rounds of Blowjobs you made us do,” Eren added right before he tossed back the shot.

Ymir sighed as she handed him the cup of water, while Krista picked up the remaining shot and gave it a sniff. “Oh my, someone’s going to be miserable tomorrow.”

Annie snatched the shot away from Krista with a glare. “Don’t give a damn, it’s my birthday so can do what I want.”

“Can do who I want, or not do who I want.” Eren frowned as he tried to figure it out – maybe the alcohol was really starting to kick in now. “Why am I drinking water?”

“Because we don’t need you throwing up when we take your drunk ass home,” Ymir explained. “Okay, I get why you’re drinking away your sorrows,” she said while she slapped Eren on the back, “but what’s your problem, Princess?”

Annie glared at Ymir, but before she could say anything, Eren gave their friend a weak shove. “None of your business.”

“Eh?” Ymir frowned at the two of them, her hands fisted on her jean-clad hips. “If you weren’t so gay,” she told Eren, “and you weren’t so frigid-“

“Ah, ah, it’s a party, not a brawl,” Marco reminded everyone as he pushed in-between Eren and Ymir. “And I thought it was a tradition with us for the birthday person to get drunk.”

“Drunk, not wasted,” Jean muttered as he began to gather together all of the shot glasses.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Marco reminded his boyfriend with a sweet smile. Just looking at the two of them made Eren want to claw at his chest and really get drunk, really fast. Was that how it was supposed to be with him and Levi? Was it supposed to be silly smiles and looking out for each other and… and… and just not nightmares and insults and tricks and-

“Wanna ‘nother shot,” Eren whined as he folded his arms on top of the table then rested his chin on them. “Don’ wanna think about this shit anymore.”

“Oh yeah, someone’s definitely holding up the tradition of being wasted for their birthday party,” Jean muttered.

*******

“The fuck!”

Levi flailed about at the sound of his cell phone ringing, scattered thoughts of DOS or backdoor attack on the work servers and someone, maybe Dita, calling to say everything was fucked up and-

Eren. The name showing up on his phone was Eren’s. Eren was calling him at- fuck it, Eren was calling him. Levi scrubbed his left hand over his face then ran it through his hair as he answered the phone, desperate to kick his muddled brain into gear. Eren had called him.

“Yeah?”

It was quiet on the other end for a moment, just long enough for his hopes to start sinking and for him to wonder if this was a misdial or something, and then there was a loud huff. “’Yeah’? Tha’s all I get?”

And it was a drunk Eren; had Levi tortured baby bunny rabbits in his past life or something? Was that why Eren didn’t want to be his lover anymore? Stomped on baby bunny rabbits and was the asshole who always put the empty milk carton back in the fridge?

“It is when it’s one o’clock in the morning. Why are you calling me when you’re drunk?”

“M’not drunk,” Eren whined.

“Yes you are.” Great, now he was arguing with the idiot. “Why did you call me?”

“M’not, they’re bein’ mean an’ not buyin’ me more,” Eren slurred, while in the background Levi could hear loud music and people laughing. “Talk to ‘em, Captain.”

Hearing that word, that *name*, chased away any remaining sleepiness from Levi’s mind. “Eren-“

His lover’s voice took on a raspy edge. “They’ll listen ta you. Ever-everyone does. Come ‘n get me, Captain. Come ‘n- hey!”

Levi nearly jumped off of his bed when that last bit was shouted. “Eren? Where the hell are you?”

“Ah, who the hell is this?”

The sound of some stranger on *Eren’s* phone made Levi’s temper flare and his hand clench around his own phone. “I’m Levi Ackerman, who the hell are *you*, shitstain?”

“Wah, Levi? *Levi*? How the- Sasha!” There was more loud noise while Levi cursed himself for not slipping a tracking app onto Eren’s phone – something that was going to be corrected very soon, ‘stalker’ behavior or not; it sounded like Eren was at some club, and there weren’t too many here in Trost that were popular with the university crowd. Levi got up so he could get dressed while it sounded like Eren’s phone was being passed around.

“Uhm, Mr. Levi, sir?”

He paused in the process of pulling on a pair of jeans. “Who the fuck is this now?”

“It’s Sasha. I work with Eren, remember?”

Oh, right, the weird girl who liked donuts. “Where the fuck are you and what’s going on with Eren?” He held the phone pinned between his right shoulder and ear so he could grab a sweater then headed to the front door while he shoved his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans.

“We’re at Titans - Eren’s a bit out of it right now. Could you maybe take him home?” It sounded as if someone was shouting in the background, the sound quickly muffled as if the phone was covered for a few seconds. “You can get him home safely, *right*?” There was an unexpected bite to the girl’s words just then.

“Hell yes,” Levi assured her as he slipped on his shoes at the front door. “Give me ten minutes.”

“Great!” Once again she sounded like her usual cheerful and inane self. “We’ll be out front.”

The call ended after she said that; Levi shook his head before he slipped on his sweater and then all but ran to his car. The one good thing about it being that late at night was that the roads were mostly empty and it wasn’t closing time for the bars, so the police didn’t seem to be out on patrol to catch him breaking several laws on his way to Titans. When he did get to the popular club, it wasn’t too difficult to spot the small group of people huddled together near the entrance.

He pulled up to the curb and left the car running before climbing out, and noticed that Eren was being propped up by some tall guy whose undercut sported blond hair on top and dark brown hair beneath. Next to them was another tall guy with brown hair and freckles who seemed to be supporting the blonde girl Annie, Sasha and the short kid from the bakery, the other dark haired girl from the bakery and some unfamiliar small blonde girl.

“Oi, what the hell is going on?” Levi leapt up onto the curb, his attention focused on Eren.

As soon as he spoke up, Eren lifted his head and smiled. “Cap’n!” He attempted to reach out to Levi, but was prevented by the hold the blond guy had on him. “Lemme go, Horse-face.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, take him already,” the guy complained as he all but shoved Eren toward Levi. Levi barely got his arms up in time to catch his lover, and for a moment savored the feel of Eren in his arms, so warm and pliant, breath hot and moist against the side of his neck and-

“Mmm, ‘lo Cap’n,” Eren murmured as he clung to Levi’s shoulders.

“And we’re getting you in the car, *now*.” Levi’s breath rushed out of him as he attempted to put a little space between him and Eren.

“Yes, sir.”

Oh yeah – wait, no, *no*. It had been much too long since Levi had heard those words said with such innuendo, and… yeah, *NO*, put the inebriated lover in the car. A low moan slipped past his lips as he shuffled Eren toward the car, only to pause when the annoying girl – freckled, dark haired girl, got in his way.

She gave him a baleful look while Eren flopped his right hand about and murmured something like ‘meer’. “Look, Sasha might be vouching for you, but I know Eren’s not all for you when he’s sober. So keep your hands to yourself or you’ll see how fun a colonoscopy is with a marble rolling pin. Got it?”

Huh, Levi had to give it to the girl, she had spunk, even if he doubted that he could ever eat anything from the bakery again when she was working there. “Back off, you’re in the way.”

Her dark brown eyes narrowed and she pulled her right hand back as if to throw a punch, but the unfamiliar blonde girl darted forward and grabbed at her arm. “Ymir! Come on, we still have to get Annie back home!”

The girl – Ymir, apparently - glared for a few more seconds before she shook her head. “Fine, you’re not worth the trouble.” She scoffed as she turned around, her arm draping over the smaller girl’s shoulders. “Hey, Annie? You still awake there?”

Levi left the rest of them at the club as he finished hustling Eren over to his car, his lover clinging to him as he tried to shove him into the passenger seat. “Just sit your ass down,” he grumbled as he batted Eren’s hands away while fastening the seatbelt. “Eren!”

That seemed to do the trick since Eren went still and allowed himself to be strapped into the seat. “Yes, sir,” he slurred as his head lolled back onto the head rest.

“You better fucking warn me if you’re going to throw up,” Levi snapped as he slid into the driver’s seat, and once he was certain that there wasn’t any oncoming traffic, peeled out onto the road.

“Nah, fine.” Eren began to tilt toward Levi, but at least kept his hands to himself; Levi debated taking his lover back to his apartment then figured out that Eren would be more comfortable waking up in his own bed – it had nothing to do with that one girl, Ymir, telling him to take Eren ‘home’.

The drive to Eren’s apartment was quiet, considering that Eren was completely shitfaced, yet Levi had to admit that it was nice, the way that Eren’s head ended up on his right shoulder. He parked toward the end of the parking long and startled his lover when he turned off the car and got out, the half-snore from Eren a bit endearing. Hauling Eren’s uncoordinated ass across the parking lot wasn’t quite as fun, but he refused to chance any dents to his precious car… and it was kinda nice, the way Eren was draped all over him.

Fortunately Eren hadn’t lost his keys during his whole ‘let’s drink the bar dry’ escapades that night, so Levi managed to get his lover into his apartment without too many mishaps. Get him into the apartment, sprawled out on the bed without his coat and shoes, and was debating if he should bother with the those sinfully tight jeans when Eren tugged him down onto the bed.

“Cap’n,” he exhaled against Levi’s face, breath smelling strongly of anise as his arms draped over Levi’s shoulders.

“Brat,” Levi murmured as he curled his fingers against his palms in an effort to resist pulling his lover toward him. “You’re going to have *such* a headache tomorrow. Now let me go.” It hurt so *fucking* much to say those words, to attempt to back away from Eren when everything inside of him screamed to press against him instead, to close the gap and kiss him senseless, to *fuck* him senseless… but nothing in those memories recalled a memory like this, a time when Eren was drunk and tormenting Levi because of too much alcohol. No, the times when he had set out to wear Levi’s resolve thin and fuck with him had been deliberate, had been – yeah, get off the fucking bed, you imbecile.

“But don’ wanna,” Eren whined as his right hand flopped along Levi’s left hip.

Levi groaned and wondered again about those stomped baby rabbits. “That is so *fucking* good to hear, but tell me tomorrow, when you sober up, okay?” He allowed himself one lingering kiss, the taste of alcohol so prevalent that he couldn’t let his control slip even if he wanted, and then groaned as he scooted away from Eren’s weak reach. “No fucking way I can convince myself that staying here is a good enough idea that you won’t flip out in the morning.” Whatever he might win tonight would be lost when Eren woke up, he *knew* it; while some part of Eren seemed to realize that they were meant to be together, enough still fought… and that part wouldn’t be ready to accept it just because the alcohol seemed to bring the ‘yeah I know you’re meant for me’ part to the forefront.

*Dammit*.

But some part of Eren *did* realize it, so Levi gathered up the will to push himself off of the bed after one more caress to Eren’s lovely face.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Eren sounded so plaintive just then as he grabbed at Levi’s hands. “Cap’n?”

Dammit, dammit, *dammit*. Levi sighed as he stood up yet hovered over Eren, his hands catching at his lover’s and forcing them back down to Eren’s sides. “I… no,” he admitted upon the crestfallen expression Eren gave him. “Just going to fetch you some water and meds, so *stay here*, all right?”

“’kay,” Eren murmured as he nudged his face against one of the pillows. “Better when you’re here.”

Fuck, he didn’t need to hear that. Levi wiped his right hand over his face as he left the room for the kitchen, and after opening and closing a few cupboards, managed to find a glass to fill with water and some ibuprofen without having to go into the bathroom. Once that was done, he returned to the bedroom, and noticed that Eren had discarded his jeans and now was beneath the covers. “Oi, drink some water and take this,” he chided his lover, figuring it was a lost cause to get him into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Eren mumbled something beneath his breath but sat up enough to swallow the pills and the glass of water before flopping back down; Levi stroked his hair until he fell asleep then went into the bathroom to refill the glass in case Eren woke up thirsty during the night.

He probably should have just left the apartment and returned home, but part of him worried about Eren being so drunk, something that he didn’t have any memories of from his past life. What had prompted Eren to become so inebriated? Why had he reached out to Levi – and called him ‘Captain’? Levi could recall Eren doing so maybe one other time during all of their recent encounters, yet Eren had repeatedly done so tonight. Was it a breakthrough of sorts? Or a breakdown? Either way, he wasn’t sure if he should leave, not if Eren was vulnerable – and Eren had said that he wanted him there. Just… not in the same room, and not in bed together, where Levi knew he couldn’t count on his control to keep him from doing something stupid, something even worse than the kiss back at the coffee shop.

So he sighed as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket then jeans, then unfolded the blanket thrown over the back of what at least looked to be a comfortable couch in Eren’s living room (he wasn’t going to be grateful about how he could fit on the thing, dammit). With the throw pillows collected at the one end, he had the makings of a decent bed, better than a few places he’d crashed during high school and university.

Most importantly, it was Eren’s couch and Eren’s blanket and Eren’s *apartment*, with Eren sleeping in just the other room. It was Eren he was keeping safe, if only from bad dreams and too much alcohol and too little hydration. Doing his best to make himself comfortable on an unfamiliar couch, Levi closed his eyes and pretended he could hear Eren’s breathing from all the way in the other room to lull himself to sleep.

*******

Eren was disturbed from sleep when he felt someone settle against his back; he grumbled as he twisted about to reach for his Captain, his hands seeking that thick, black hair as lips brushed along his neck. “Time?”

“An hour or two before everyone else wakes up,” Levi breathed against his neck, chapped lips skimming up until they hit against the spot beneath his left ear. “So don’t play hard to get, dammit.”

Eren chuckled as he finished turning around, his left arm settling over Levi’s waist. “Have I ever?”

“Hmm... right, you’re too fucking easy. Remind me to smack you later.” There was a brush of lips against his neck before Levi bit into sensitive skin.

“Ah! Ah… ah- I don’t… don’t remember you compl-ain…ing,” Eren stuttered out as he rocked his hips forward, right before Levi’s hands tugged on his sleeping pants. Dammit, just the feel of Levi’s body against his, that warm, hard… ah… *focus*, dammit! His hips jerked forward as the rough material slipped past them, down his thighs and…. “Oh….”

“Too damn easy,” Levi drawled out as he used his feet to finish removing the pants, his hands now stroking along Eren’s bare thighs.

“Who trained me to… to be like this,” Eren murmured as he arched his neck, his hands locking behind his lover’s back to pull Levi against him. “Too long.”

“Blame Erwin,” Levi snapped as he tugged at the hem of Eren’s shirt. “Shitty mission to hand in shitty reports to fucking brain-dead nobles and-“ He yanked Eren’s shirt off before snaking in for another kiss, one that left Eren breathless in a matter of seconds, made his nerves tingle and-

Just like that, Levi pulled away, yet his calloused hands continued to stroke along Eren’s thighs, ever closer to his aching cock. “Bastard lives to torture me.”

“Gee, don’t know the feeling,” Eren snapped as he fumbled at his lover’s belt. “Are we fucking or what?” He was ready to tumble Levi onto his back and get things started, but usually after a few days apart, Levi was in the mood to pound him into the mattress until he was so wonderfully sore – not that Eren minded. On no. No, no no no no. Fuck no.

Levi’s grey eyes narrowed as he shoved Eren onto his back. “What, you in a hurry? Got other plans?” There was a rather sharp bite in his voice as he grasped hold of Eren’s wrists and pinned them on either side of his head.

Eren decided that if there was going to be *any* fucking done right about then, he needed to spur it along. “Yeah, I figured one of us needs to get their dick in the other’s ass right about now, so how about it, hmm?” A blow job or hand job wasn’t going to cut it now, not when Levi had been gone so long, not when Connie and Marlo had almost died the other day and – no, Eren wanted his lover, wanted to be assured that they were *both* alive and-

Okay, Levi was kissing him as if sucking the tongue out of his mouth was vital to both of their existences, so that was good, yeah? Eren wrapped his now free arms around the muscular body pressed against him, hands stroking along toned flesh as he savored the taste of mint toothpaste along with the feel of-

The feel of-

Eren clenched the feel of soft sheets beneath his hands as he gasped for air-

The air was scented with the staleness of stone and-

There was the taste of anise and… and something on his tongue-

It should have been mint-

No, it was *anise*, dammit-

He had the feel of Levi’s body-

He was alone on his bed, covered in sweat and-

*Fuck*, *fuck*, “Fuck!”-

Eren jerked upright in bed, thoughts incoherent and emotions a mess as he struggled to breathe, hands clenched in his hair as he stared at the plain white walls around him, at the light blue sheets and darker blue duvet tangled around his body as he realized that he was sitting in his bed. *His* *bed*. The bed in *his* apartment, the apartment in – the present. *The* *present*. Oh shit.

As he clutched at his aching head and attempted to make shit out of… fuck, Levi dashed into his bedroom, normally straight black hair mussed up as all hell and not wearing any pants. No pants – as in, lean calves and oh hell those thighs and grey boxer briefs peeking out past a beige sweater that did *nothing* to hide a – yeah, not thinking about that, Eren told himself as he gave a harsh yank to a handful of his hair.

“You all right? I heard a-“

“What the *fuck* are you doing here?” Maybe Eren sounded a bit hysterical – maybe a fuck-lot hysterical – but a moment ago he’d been dreaming about being a hair’s breath away from fucking Levi and now the bastard was in his apartment and – fuck. What the hell? Last night he’d been… what the hell? “How the hell did you get in here? This another of your fucked up tricks?”

Levi came to a halt a couple of feet away from the bed with such a hurt expression on his face as he ran his right hand through his hair. “But last night you- okay, you know what? You’re up, you’re fine, I’m leaving.” The hurt expression was replaced by a blank one that made Eren’s head ache even more to see it.

For a moment Eren watched the bastard turn around and leave – okay, he was *not* checking out Levi’s ass – and then his brain caught up with the rest of him and he was scrambling out of the bed. Which, for the record, ooooh, woozy. He had to swallow a couple of times to make sure that he didn’t throw up, and as he ran for the door – realizing that he was still half-dressed in his clothes from last night – he began to recall a couple of things. Began to remember the guy at the bar, the taste of the shots, the awful feeling of how nobody was going to – no matter how hot or… or… nobody was going to interest him like some short, foul-mouthed asshole with grey eyes and…. “Wait, okay?” he shouted as he burst out into the hallway. “Levi, please!”

Halfway toward the door to the parking lot, Levi paused and turned around to face him, jeans loose around his hips as if he hadn’t bothered to fasten them, shoes in his left hand and coat in his right. “Why?” Grey eyes flashing with obvious anger, Levi took a step toward him. “You have something else to accuse me of or something?”

Eren slumped against the wall as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “No.” He sighed as he let his head hang forward. “I’m sorry, okay? I just… there was this dream and….” He felt his face heat up and couldn’t look Levi in the eye just then. “It… it was a new one, okay? One… ow-wahne- what?”

There was a thud of something hitting the ground and all of a sudden Levi was in front of him, calloused hands on his face so insistent yet gentle, just enough pressure to make him look up into warm grey eyes and a concerned expression. “You had a new dream?” Even if it was a question, there was enough of a demand in that deep, familiar voice that Eren gulped even as part of him relaxed and nodded as much as Levi’s hold allowed. “How was it different from the rest?”

“We were-“ Eren snapped back to reality as heat flooded his face and he attempted to pull away, except the bastard was too strong; he raised his hands to claw at Levi’s wrists, yet as soon as his fingers touched Levi’s skin, his fingers curled around them instead. “Dammit, what happened last night? I remember the damn shots and complaining to Annie and calling you, but that’s about it.” Why did he have to sound so whiny just then?

There was a hint of pleased smirk on Levi’s lips just then, the damn bastard, and his fingers stroked along Eren’s cheekbones for a couple of seconds. “You woke me up, you inconsiderate bastard, and complained enough until I came to pick you up.” Something flashed across Levi’s handsome face, something possessive that darkened his grey eyes and tightened his thin lips, and damn if Eren would admit if it made his breath catch in his throat. “I brought you home and put you to bed, and would have left if you hadn’t asked me to stay.”

Eren waited for something else, and after another caress to his cheekbones, shuddered for a couple of seconds. “That was it?” It wasn’t as if he doubted Levi, not really, it was just that he wanted to hear it from the ba- from the man.

“Yeah, that was it.” Something softened Levi’s expression and his left hand lowered to cup the back of Eren’s neck. “You really think I was gonna fuck someone three seconds away from puking up half a bar’s worth of alcohol?”

“Oh go to hell, you bastard,” Eren groaned as he pushed against Levi’s very impressive chest – not that it did him much good. And not that he was feeling up the– okay, yeah, now would be a good time to throw up or something.

His complaint earned him a pleased smirk as Levi gave his cheek one more caressed then used the grip on the back of his neck to direct him toward his apartment after picking up his stuff. “Come on, someone needs some clothes and a shower – you reek of stale beer and bottom shelf liquor.”

“All I can taste is some lousy bottom shelf liquor,” Eren complained as he wavered about on his feet a little before Levi wrapped an arm around his hips and helped steady him. “Ugh.” Then he thought about some more over what Levi had just said. “Ah, I’m sorry.” Yeah, he’d called Levi… what the hell had he been thinking? “I mean, oh hell, you really came last night?” Then he thought some more about what he’d just said and groaned as he covered his face with his right hand. “Just – fuck.”

There was a low, pleased chuckle that really, Levi should never, *ever* make that sound, especially not when Eren’s head was so messed up and his stomach all unsettled and memories from this morning’s dream was all – he shivered and would have pulled away from Levi except his body really wasn’t that coordinated at the moment. Fuck. *Fuck*. Was he missing something from his past life where Fate hated him or something? “Sorry,” he muttered again as they returned to his apartment.

“Wasn’t like I was doing much more than sleeping, and I managed to do that on your couch.” Speaking of said couch, Levi navigated Eren toward it and let him collapse onto the soft cushions. “Slept on worse, believe it or not.”

“That’s good, I suppose.” Eren found himself curling up on couch, his head on the pillows and the blanket tugged up to his face; it was when he took a slow, deep breath that he realized he was inhaling Levi’s scent – that he *knew* Levi’s scent. What the hell? Why did it calm him down? Why was he relaxed on the couch like this when he could hear sounds from his kitchen, when his ‘name’ – his *bastard* ‘name’ – was doing something in there? Yet he was so tired, tired and hungover, and for some reason… for some reason something inside of him trusted Levi. Trusted Levi to look after him.

Everything was so fucked up – a week ago he was cursing Levi for showing up in his life. Two weeks ago, he was cursing Levi for haunting his dreams. Now? Eren scratched at his scalp as if he could dig his fingers into his brain and make it work, make it begin to function in a logical manner; while he attempted to figure out what the fuck was going on with his life and dreams – sex dreams with *Levi*, really?- Levi returned with a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of ibuprofen in the other, while the scent of brewing coffee filled the air.

“Okay, you really should take a couple of these and drink this, and have some coffee soon.” Levi gave him a stern look until Eren sighed and sat up so he could accept two pills then wash them down with the water. “Now that I know you didn’t choke on your own vomit during the night, I’m heading home.”

Eren opened his mouth to… what, complain? He wasn’t sure what he was about to do, and finally noticed when he glanced at the cable box that it was barely seven am in the morning. Shit. Wincing at the early hour, he shook his head. “Ah, okay. Levi… thanks, I mean it.”

Clicking his tongue as he crouched down, Levi hesitated a moment before he reached out to cup his hand along the left side of Eren’s face. “Don’t worry about it, brat.” For some reason, hearing that nickname made Eren relax and even smile a little. “I’m glad you called me to make sure you got home safe. Now get a little more rest and drink some coffee when you wake up.”

“So bossy,” Eren murmured as he canted his face into the caress.

“Damn straight, look at the shit you pull.” Levi was still for a moment before he leaned in, and Eren didn’t do anything except close his eyes. The brush of lips was gentle yet insistent, was so familiar it made something ache inside of him, and then that pressure and the warm touch on his cheek was gone. “And brush your damn teeth, too.”

Eren huffed as he sank back down on the couch. “Anything else, Captain?”

In the process of picking up his shoes, Levi paused for a moment and then let out a slow breath. “Just be ready for our date on Monday if I don’t see you that morning – I’ll pick you up here at six pm.”

That earned an annoyed growl from Eren as he fussed with the blanket. “It’s not a date.”

“Yeah, yeah, I think all that alcohol scrambled your brain.”

“Very funny!” Eren went to throw a pillow at the bastard but decided his aching head needed them more – which allowed a smirking Levi to exit the apartment before he could find another projectile weapon, dammit. Huffing a little over that fact – and that he had to get up to make sure that the door was locked, Eren groaned and decided he’d just head back to bed to sleep for a few more hours.

And hope that he didn’t have any more crazy dreams.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, hopefully that one scene or two wasn't too cliche - I went back and forth on Eren's reaction (how mad he'd be) and didn't want him to be too irate. Hopefully it was the right note - he DID call, after all, part of him reached out. Didn't want to beat up Levi too much.
> 
> And hopefully not too many mistakes. Part of getting it out tonight was not letting it sit very long and review it. Oh well....


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, wasn't sure when I'd get the next (being this one) chapter out, but OMFG, this one just went so fast! I told you that the next couple of chapters would be so much fun, right! At least for me? Well, this is what I meant. Just loved this chapter. Hmmm. 
> 
> Now, the next one? Want to just dive into it, it's going to be even MORE fun (well, from a writing viewpoint). Thing is, there's like, three (at least) very crucial scenes to the plot (next chapter is a big game changer, not to be too big of a tease), so it may be longer than usual depending on how the scenes drag out. So yeah, if there's a delay, that'll probably be the reason why.
> 
> All that said, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Comments and kudos are, as always, greatly appreciated!!  
> *******

*******

Eren stared at his laptop, the words appearing a bit blurry before his eyes, when he was startled by a knock on his door. Jerking at the sudden sound, he scrubbed at his face with both hands before he scrambled from the couch and went to see who was visiting him just then, and blinked when it turned out to be Armin. “Uhm, did we have plans for today?”

“No, but if I’ve any hopes for finishing those abstracts for organic chemistry, I figured it was best to just give in to Mikasa and check up on you to see how much fun you had last night.” At Eren’s confused look, Armin sighed as he held up his phone while entering the apartment. “She’s worried because you sounded awful when she called earlier, and since she’s too busy doing cardio today….”

“Ah. Oh yeah.” Eren gave his friend an apologetic smile as he headed toward the kitchen. “I, uhm, yeah. Fun… okay, maybe not so much of a fun night. Want something to drink? I’ve a pot of coffee on.”

“Hmm, I can smell it. A cup would be nice.” Armin followed him and sat down at the table. “You look like you were out late – did the party get out of hand?”

Eren winced at the memory. “You could say that. Annie and I.” He paused for a moment as he pretended to dig around for a couple of mugs, upset about the slip until he remembered that he’d brought up his friend to Armin several times before and it might be suspicious now if he avoided talking about her. “There it is!” He gave Armin a wide grin over his shoulder as he held up the one mug with the smirking cat face on it that his friend always liked. “As I was saying, Annie and I had the honors of getting trashed since it was our birthdays. Or, you know, around our birthdays.” He made a fuss over filling the mugs rather than pay attention to Armin just then – or Armin’s reaction to Annie’s name.

His friend was quiet for a couple of seconds, but that might be due to him texting on his phone. “Well, Mikasa is pleased to know that you’re alive and mostly mobile, and be thankful you did some drinking last night because she’s not going to let you get drunk when we go out.” Armin laughed at Eren’s sigh over the motherhenning and shook his head. “Her heart is in the right place.”

“I know,” Eren grumbled as he went to fetch some milk for their coffee. “Though to be honest, I don’t mind too much after last night.” He grimaced and rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. “Drinking’s fun, but being hung over isn’t.”

“So you and Annie got trashed, eh? Do anything wild and crazy? Meet anyone special?”

Was there an off note in Armin’s voice just then? Eren frowned as he stirred in the milk and a little bit of sugar in his coffee and two teaspoons in Armin’s. “Not quite – first off, you know Ymir wouldn’t let anything get out of hand. Second, I have Le-nny.” Dammit, he had to watch out for that; if he’d said Levi’s real name, Armin would text Mikasa in a heartbeat and… and… yeah, not ready to put up with that little explosion from his friends. “I called him to come pick me up while Ymir and Krista took Annie home.”

“Oh. Oh, that’s good.” There was a slight smile on Armin’s face when Eren handed him his coffee. “They’re great friends, aren’t they?”

“For the most part – I have the faint impression that there’s some unflattering pictures of me out on Facebook from this whole mess, but I’ll get them back eventually,” Eren swore as he sat down across from his friend.

That prompted a laugh from Armin as he began tapping on his phone. “Wait, let’s…. oh, ha! Oh god, you better hope that Mikasa hasn’t friended any of them yet!” He stilled for a moment, and then laughed again, the sound a bit odd. “Wow, you really were wasted, weren’t you?”

Eren groaned into his mug of coffee and hoped that whoever had taken the pics had the grace to be careful with the tags, as he didn’t want his mother to find them. “Who put them up? It was Jean, wasn’t it? That asshole.”

“No, it was Connie, and relax, it looks like he posted it just between us.” Armin scrolled a little more, and his grin strengthened. “So, Lenny, right? Wow, no wonder Mikasa is in full protective mode – not quite my taste but I must say, I’m impressed.”

Maybe he should have slept a little longer – oh, wait, the damn *dreams* - because Eren wasn’t quite following along just then. “Huh?” Then he blinked as Armin held up the phone to display a picture of him with his face all but buried in Levi’s neck; it was dark out and it looked to be on the street outside of Titans, with Levi’s expensive as hell car in the background and Levi scowling at Ymir and- “Shit, I’m going to kill whoever took that.”

“Again, Connie, from the looks of it. ‘Eren and his sugar daddy’, he commented.” Armin’s grin took on a smug aspect as he resumed looking at his phone. “I must say, you’re not doing too bad for yourself, Reny.”

The use of his childhood nickname made Eren scowl as he snatched at Armin’s mug. “You know what, get the fuck out of here and go do your abstracts, you asshole.” He pointed toward his front door. “Go now!”

The bastard had the gall to laugh and shake his head. “Aw come on, it’s true!” He laughed some more when Eren attempted to shove him out of his chair. “Buh-besides, I work better on a full stomach. You’re not gonna kick me out of here and neglect me now that you got yourself a sexy sugar daddy, hmm?”

“I’m going to drag you to the door and lock it behind you,” Eren growled as he got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Armin’s shoulders, but ended up huffing a couple of seconds later and shoving his friend’s head down. “Such a bastard, *Minny*.”

“Hmm, we’re a matched set, remember?” Armin’s blue eyes sparkled as he looked up from his phone.

“Don’t know why I’ve been stuck with you for the last fourteen years or so, other than everyone else has the sense to run away,” Eren teased. Then he thought about Annie and felt bad.

Still, Armin was still smiling as he checked his phone. “Yeah, only you and Mikasa. So, what are you going to make me?”

Not in the mood for anything too fancy even if he was mostly over his hangover, Eren hummed a little as he checked out his fridge. “Vegetable frittata sound all right?”

“Perfect.” Armin swiped back his mug and took a few sips. “So, were you working on something when I came over?” At Eren’s confused stare, he gestured toward the living room. “I noticed you had your laptop out; you don’t really have to make me dinner if you’ve got homework of your own.”

“Oh, that.” Eren shrugged as he set out the asparagus and red peppers, then went about preparing the eggs. “I was doing some research for a psych project – a case study.”

Armin got up to refill his mug, and brought over Eren’s so he could drink while working on their meal. “Anything interesting?”

Eren paused in the middle of cracking an egg and wondered just what he should say, since the case study was himself; he was attempting to figure out what was going on with his dreams and past life. “I… it’s confusing, is what it is. There’s an issue with conflicting memories, so I thought maybe it was a case of repression or suppression – there’s definitely some sort of defense mechanism happening with the patient, but the longer I consider the symptoms, the more I become confused.” He let out a slow breath as he stared at the bowl full of cracked eggs. “I’m starting to lean toward reaction formation… but that begs the question ‘why’? What would make them react in a way opposite of their true feelings? What… are they hiding?” What was behind his dreams? A few weeks ago he would have thought ‘nothing’ – nothing other than a warning to avoid Levi – yet now there were dreams that were the *opposite* of them, and his feelings for the man were anything but fear and distrust. At least, they were when he was with Levi. Well, when Levi wasn’t being a conniving asshole. Oh, admit it, Levi wasn’t that much of a conniving asshole – except for bringing up the poison thing and kissing him that one time and- “Dammit.”

Armin leaned back against the counter near him and frowned. “All right, I see that this case really bothers you, but it sounds fascinating. Let me know how it turns out.”

‘Fascinating’. Eren glowered at the eggs as he began to whip them together. “Sure, no problem.” Armin would be among the first to know when he finally snapped from having weird se- weird-ass dreams, that’s all they were, just *weird* dreams.

“Ah, are you making mayo or something?”

“Huh?” Eren realized that he was whipping the eggs a bit much and stopped. “Yeah, they’re good now. Time to chop the veggies.”

Armin sighed as he snatched up a knife from the block before Eren could. “You know what? Let me do that for you, it’s only fair since you’re doing the cooking. Plus, I think you might still be a little out of it from last night.”

Whatever. Eren left him to it and started heating up the pan for their dinner.

*******

Levi braced himself as he entered the bakery; even though things had seemed good when he’d left Eren’s apartment the other day, it was such a ‘one step forward, two steps back’ mess with his lover that he could only hope that Eren hadn’t reverted to being all pissed off with him again – plus it didn’t help that Annie was there, ringing up another customer. The girl gave him a cool look as she handed over the guy’s change then called out Eren’s name.

“Huh, you look better than the last time I saw you,” Levi remarked, then winced a little when he realized that probably came out a bit snarky.

Still, Annie’s expression remained cool as she shrugged. “Can’t say I remember much about that part of the night. Maybe that was a good thing.”

Luckily, Levi was spared from having to answer by Eren showing up, with several boxes in his hands. “It’s about time you got here.” His lover sounded more than a little irate just then, but there was a hint of a smile on his face and his eyes sparkled with amusement – Levi could easily tell just by looking at them whether Eren was upset or pleased with him.

“What, like you have a busy morning planned or something? I throw off your nine am plan to sniff flour?” he teased as he approached the counter.

“Ha, more like I need to get back there and make sure that Sasha doesn’t find an excuse to declare that batch of donut holes ‘defective’, like she did last week.” Eren rolled his eyes as he began to bag up the boxes. “And don’t *you* have work to do? Or do they pay your grouchy ass whether you show up or not?”

“What’s the matter, jealous?” Levi smirked as he handed over his corporate credit card. “I’m important enough I can make my own hours.”

“Someone’s a bit full of themselves this morning.” Eren’s eyes narrowed at the card as he turned it over in his hands. “And what, no cash? You really want to tick off the boss or what?”

“I figure if they’re gonna stuff their faces with this sh-ah, stuff, then they can pay for it.” Levi clicked his tongue over how he’d almost insulted Eren’s hard work, and realized that Eren had caught it from the way his lover was giving him a heated look. “What?”

“You saying you don’t eat any of it?” Behind Eren, Annie could be seen with a pleased smile on her face as she grabbed a box for another customer’s order.

Levi clicked his tongue again as he continued to hold out his hand for his card to be returned. “You little shit - you know I like the croissants. Now ring me up so I can get out of here.”

Eren finally ran the card then gave him an impertinent salute with it in his right hand. “Yes, sir.” Despite the respectful answer, there was an insolent tone to his voice, and a slight smile on his lips as he did as he’d been told. “So, six pm tonight, right?” he asked as he handed over the bag of pastries.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up.” Levi’s fingers brushed against Eren’s as he grabbed onto the bag’s handles, and his breath caught at the touch. “Prepare to get your cute ass kicked.”

“As if,” Eren insisted as he began to glare – yet Levi was pleased to note a hint of pink to his cheekbones as if the touch had affected him, too. “Not taking it easy on you even if you’re an old man!”

“Only way you’re going to win is if you added something funny to those croissants – which we know is something that’s not past you,” Levi teased as he turned away.

“Oh, you… gah! I wish I had, you… bastard!”

Levi smiled as he left the shop, even holding the door open for a confused woman who blinked upon hearing Eren screaming profanities for no apparent reason, and headed to his car. Ignoring the way his phone started chirping a few minutes into the drive since he figured it was Eren continuing with the insults – he looked forward to reading them later – he finished the drive to work where he parked his car and entered the building. Upon finding Hange waiting for him at the security desk, he blinked in surprise and began to turn around to leave, but she managed to latch on to his left arm to stop him. “Ah, ah, you’re not going anywhere – at least, not until you hand over the crack!”

“For fuck’s sake, you’re worse than an addict,” he complained as he used his badge to get past the inner door. “And why don’t you get your own ‘crack’?”

“Hmm, they taste better when someone else pays for them,” she insisted as she trailed him to his office, hands snatching at the bag he kept just out of her reach. “Come on, hand them over!”

“What’s your problem, other than the obvious ones?”

Hange made a low sound of frustration as she jogged past him into his office. “Moblit! He showed up at my apartment on Saturday and wouldn’t leave me alone all weekend! Made me eat all this… this *healthy* stuff,” she spit out while informing Levi about how her ‘name’ had abused her. “There was all this kale and quinoa and tofu and… and… it was *awful*,” she wailed while once more grabbing at the bag of pastries, which Levi allowed her to snatch that time.

“You have been eating a bunch of shit,” he pointed out as he retreated behind his desk. “Surprised you’re not pissing syrup at this point.”

Hange paused to give him the finger before tearing at the box at the top. “I have an incredible metabolism, I’ll have you know.”

“Still not gonna- you know what, you’re an adult, at least age-wise.” Levi shook his head as he waited to see the lunatic’s reaction upon peering into the box, then grunted as he dragged the bag toward him while she all but shoved an éclair into her mouth; Eren had specifically prepared the boxes, so there *had* to be a message in there for him. If it wasn’t in the top box… he smiled when he opened the next one down and caught sight of ‘LOSER’ written on his precious croissants in bright red frosting.

“Oh yeah, you go’ id bahd,” Hange slurred around her mouthful of éclair.

“Go take your shitty sugar fix and leave before I call Moblit and rat you out.” Levi made a shooing motion toward his door. “You want some more rabbit food?”

That earned him an exaggerated gasp from the pest as Hange staggered toward the door. “You’d *do* that to your best friend? Maybe your snookums deserves to know what a backstabbing bastard you really are.”

“He’s my name, I think he has a good idea about me already,” Levi growled as he looked about for something to throw at her; unfortunately, the only thing immediately at hand were the pastries, his laptop and his phone. Oh, wait, there was a jelly donut beneath the croissants….

By now Hange knew *that* look on his face and gave him a quick wave before she dashed out of the office. “I hope you drop a vial of bubonic plague,” he shouted after her as he rose up from his chair, before clicking his tongue and sitting down, a slight smile on his face. Now that things were quiet, he grabbed a paper towel from a drawer in his desk and picked out a croissant to enjoy later, then started work for the day; there was a lot he needed to do before his date with Eren.

******

Eren was beginning to wonder if he was cursed or something – had he shorted a witch’s order by accident? Given a priest a half-filled jelly donut? Forgotten to put on a pair of gloves while boxing up stuff for a shaman? Just…it had to be something, right? Why else would this shit keep happening to him?

“Maybe you shouldn’t be going out on a date during a school night.”

“Mikasa… I’m almost twenty, not fifteen. I’m in not in high school,” he insisted as he checked the time; shit, Levi would be here any minute now, and he hadn’t been able to get Mikasa out of his apartment. “We’re just going to paint some pottery and have some coffee, not drink and dance until dawn.”

Her frown intensified as she reached out to comb her fingers through his hair, as if it would help any. “I think you did that enough this past weekend.”

About to snap that she was *not* his mother, he let out a huff of air instead when the doorbell rang. “Behave,” he warned as he hurried to answer the door. “Hey,” he greeted Levi once he opened it, eyes lingering on the fitted light grey t-shirt the man wore beneath the thin black leather jacket which matched his eyes and showed off a rather muscular chest Eren had seen and felt too much of in his recent- “Right on time!” Too loud, much too loud, Eren told himself as he stepped aside.

Levi gave him an odd look which turned to clear annoyance once he caught sight of Mikasa scowling at him a few feet away. “Aren’t I always?” Then the expression smoothed out except for a certain glint in his grey eyes which put Eren on edge, right before Eren was pulled against that damn distracting chest. “You miss me?”

No, not in the least, never in a million years, Eren wanted to insist – but not in front of Mikasa. So he summoned a grin as he slid his traitorous hands along the bastard’s chest, and dammit, it felt just as wonderful in the present. “Oh, tons.” Behind him, Mikasa made a gagging sound.

“Hmm, that doesn’t sound too convincing.” Levi gave him a hint of a smile and then just like back in the coffee shop, Eren found himself kissed, found warm, chapped lips pressed against his own until he moaned and began to open-

“You’re going to be late.”

Levi pulled away yet kept his hands on Eren, one on his hip and the other on the back of his neck. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s get going.” He gave Eren’s left hip a squeeze before letting go, then turned toward Mikasa with a bland expression on his face. “So nice to see you again.” Right, like that sounded the least bit convincing.

Mikasa nodded as she gathered up her jacket and gym bag. “Yes, I feel the same,” she told him in the exact same tone, then she smiled at Eren. “Thank you for dinner.” As she walked past him, she paused to give him a quick kiss on the right cheek. “Call me tomorrow.”

“Okay, maybe you, me and Armin can meet up for lunch,” he offered, since he knew she wasn’t too pleased about his ‘date’ tonight. Her answering smile let him know that she was pleased and hopefully placated enough to not try anything crazy like follow him around for the rest of the night.

Once she was gone, he shook his head at Levi and then went to get his jacket, which was in the kitchen. “Sorry about that.”

“You said you’re her name.” Levi gave a shrug when Eren came out of the kitchen while pulling on his jacket then gestured toward the door. “I’m not crazy about her, but as long as she’s just making sure you’re all right, it’s understandable.” He opened the door for Eren and waited for Eren to lock it behind them, then walked beside him toward the parking lot.

Eren laughed a little as he tucked his keys into a pocket of his denim jacket. “Sometimes she’s like a second mother – have I mentioned that already? I know she means well, I just wish she’d trust me a little more.”

Levi did that annoying clicking sound with his tongue and held the door to the parking lot open for Eren. “You? The brat who called me at one am in the damn morning while drunk off your ass to whine about how your friends weren’t buying you any more shots? And who wanted me to order them to buy you more? Yeah, real responsible there.”

“Oh, go to hell,” Eren mumbled as he attempted to shove the bastard away, yet Levi was too much solid mass and could barely be budged. So he had to settle for an annoyed huff, and noticed that Levi hurried forward so that he could open the passenger car door. “Oh for – do *not* tell me that you’re treating this as a date.”

All his indignant remark earned him was an elegantly arched eyebrow before Levi skirted along the front of the car. “Consider it practice for when I win our bet tonight,” the bastard stated when he joined Eren inside the car.

Oh, someone just wasn’t getting it, was he? “What did I say about no dates? And about how I was going to kick your ass tonight?” Eren twisted about in the seat as much as the seatbelt allowed so he could glare at the delusional asshole. “Look, I don’t care if my mind’s all confused about things and maybe there’s some reaction formation going on that might indicate that you’re not quite a bastard because now there’s these dreams where we-“ Wow, too much overshare there, time to shut up. He turned to look straight out the window while his face heated up.

“Huh? Dreams where we what?” Levi asked as he pulled out on the main road. “You keep mentioning your dreams lately, though you never say what’s happening in them.” When Eren continued to stare out at the road while he did his best to stop feeling so flustered, Levi chuckled; dammit, how did he make it sound so… so… *evil* and *wicked* and… dammit.

“Just so you know, my favorite is the one when we’re on top of the roof of the castle and you’re leaning over the stone parapets while I’m taking you from behind – you have that one yet?”

“Oh my fucking god,” Eren gasped as he dug his fingers through his hair and gave a harsh tug; that had been Sunday morning’s dream. “Sh-shut up!”

“Then there’s the one where I fell asleep in my office and you wake me with a blow job then fuck me on my desk-“

“Not shutting up!”

“Or the handjobs in the stable right before someone-“

“Didn’t I say to shut up?!” Eren didn’t care if he was screaming by that point since it finally got Levi to *stop* *talking*. “You know what, it’s not reaction formation, it’s suppression, definitely suppression. I’m suppressing the hell out of the fact that you’re the most evil bastard to ever have lived, and I’ve got your damn name on my chest.”

Levi sighed as he rubbed at his forehead with his left hand. “What is this shit – reaction formation?”

Now it was Eren’s turn to sigh. “Dammit, it’s the closest thing I could find that might explain what’s going on here. It’s… I guess you could think of it sort of like Stockholm Syndrome. To put it in really simplistic terms, when people develop opposite feelings or behaviors to their true feelings as a form of a defense mechanism. Like you’re a closet gay person so you act as a homophobe to hide your shame. Or you hate someone but can’t express that hate, so you shower them with false love and affection.”

The ride was quiet for a couple of minutes, until Levi clicked his tongue. “Or you love someone, but for some reason are afraid of expressing that love so your mind throws up shit to make you think they’re a monster.”

And that was what Eren really didn’t want to think about right then; at least Levi had pulled into the Cultural District so he was spared for the next hour or two. “Let’s go paint some pottery, all right? I have a bet to win.” He kept his attention directed away from Levi as he spoke, unwilling to see the expression on the man’s face.

Levi didn’t speak until he found a parking spot, and when he did, it was with a sense of authority, of confidence that Eren remembered from his dreams. “As if, brat. Prepared to lose and then have your shitty ass wined and dined.”

“Wuh-what?!” Eren stared at his ‘name’ with wide eyes as he fumbled to unlock the seat belt.

“You heard me.” Levi jabbed his right index finger at him before sliding out of the car. “Now get your ass in gear, *I’ve* got a bet to win.”

“Yu-yes, sir.” Eren found himself scurrying to comply without any intentional thought. “*Dammit*!”

*******

Levi forced himself to focus on the slightly lopsided bowl in front of him and the paintbrush in his hand; if it hadn’t been enough earlier to throw him off balance when he’d shown up at Eren’s apartment and found his lover standing there, dark brown hair tousled as if Eren had just gotten out of bed, that lean body clothed in those damn tight jeans which looked so soft and worn, that clingy dark blue jersey…. At least at the bakery Eren was covered with a white, often icing-smeared apron and a white hat, but for their dates everything about him screamed ‘just fuck me’ to Levi. Well, to be fair, just being ‘Eren’ screamed ‘fuck me’ to Levi….

But now Eren had confirmed to Levi that he was dreaming more than those shitty nightmares, dreaming of more than something that painted Levi as a monster to be kept at bay. Eren was dreaming the *truth* finally, was remembering the times that had kept Levi sane as he’d gone through an awful as fuck puberty when he’d felt like a short, horrid-looking freak with the pimples and a cracking voice and the inability to put on any weight. And okay, maybe those memories hadn’t done Levi too many favors during high school, when Levi hadn’t seen the point in making that many friends since he knew one day he’d meet someone so fucking incredible… but his mom’s insistence otherwise was paying off right now. He smiled to himself as he tested the faint wash he’d applied to the bowl, a blue/grey/lavender/pink ombré that would set off the wings he was about to paint just perfect; it had finally dried enough to continue to the next step.

From behind him he heard Eren make a sound as if he was biting his own tongue, causing Levi to smile a little as he wiped clean one of the smaller brushes before dabbing it into the dark blue paint; they’d agreed to sit at opposite tables while they worked on their ‘masterpieces’ in order to make it a fair bet and not sabotage each other. With little more than half an hour to go, Levi focused on painting the wings on the outside of the bowl, which was a little rougher than the smooth inside.

He’d given a lot of thought to the pattern over the last week, especially since it was clear that Eren was remembering a few things. Hearing his lover calling him ‘Captain’ had cinched it, though, so he’d decided upon the wings he could so clearly recall every time he closed his eyes and pictured the Eren from his dreams, so passionate and energetic and proud of the uniform they both wore. From the little Levi had shared about his past with others, including Hange and Erwin, he knew he’d been involved in that unknown war in the past, but no one could figure out exactly against *what*; historians like Erwin’s father lived to debate the great ‘wall era’ mystery even if no one had a fucking clue about what had happened during it.

All he knew for certain and cared about was that he and Eren had fought, that they’d worn this symbol with pride – especially Eren – and maybe it would help stir some more good memories from his lover. So he took great care painting each feather, with each stroke of paint for the two sets of wings, their tips overlapping on the two sides.

One of the shop assistants walked past, a bottle of white paint in her left hand and a bottle of red in the other, and paused to look at the bowl with an approving smile on her face. When Levi shook his head at her offer of more white paint, she nodded then moved on, while behind him he could hear Eren call out for more green. He thought his lover sounded a little panicked, but maybe that was wishful thinking.

He finished up with just a few minutes to spare, so cleaned his brushes and took a couple of pictures of the bowl since Erwin and Hange were being annoying pains in the asses as usual, and figured his mother would appreciate one as well. When one of the assistants called out that everyone’s time was up and to leave everything on the table to finish drying, Levi put his phone away and turned around to see how Eren had done with his vase. “Well?”

Eren groaned and nearly wiped at his face before he realized that he had green paint all over his hand. “I think I’m too used to the flat surfaces of the cakes, dammit.” He scowled at the vase in front of him which, to give him credit, didn’t look half bad.

“Seriously, is this a theme with you?” Levi got up to give it a closer inspection; the little shit had put those fucking deadly plants on it. The small white flowers had turned out decent, but Eren had messed up a leaf or two.

Eren glared and nearly shoved Levi back in the face, until he once again remembered about his paint-smeared hands and grabbed for some paper-towels. “I told you that my mom loves them! And that this is a present for her! All right, let’s see what you did,” he grumbled as he wiped at his fingers.

Levi motioned toward his table with a flurry of his right hand, confident in his victory. “It’s not a shitty skull and crossbones or anything, I didn’t know the theme was death.”

“Oh fuck you,” Eren muttered as he rose up from the stool.

“Hmm, I don’t know, that seems presumptuous on our first formal date,” Levi teased with a slight smirk.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself… shit.” Eren’s gorgeous eyes went wide when he caught sight of the bowl, his still green-smeared right hand reaching for it but stopping an inch or two short of its rim. “The wings. You did the wings.”

“Yeah.” Levi watched his lover with care as he edged closer. “It’s weird, but I miss them. They were everywhere back then.”

“They were freedom,” Eren whispered. Something almost like pain flashed across his face for a moment as he closed his eyes. “And you… you were the best at making them fly.”

Surrounded by a bunch of strangers milling about as they chatted and fussed over stupid pottery, Levi pressed against his lover until Eren twisted about to face him; caught between the table and his body, Eren opened his eyes and draped his arms over Levi’s shoulders, hips slouched a little so he was barely taller. “I’m often the best at what I do,” Levi drawled. “Beat you at this bet, didn’t I?” he pointed out as he wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist.

Eren blinked a couple of times as if attempting to focus on something then sighed as he shook his head. “I don’t get to drive your fancy car, do I?”

“Hmm, maybe if you ask me really, really nice,” Levi breathed out as he leaned in close.

“I really wanted to win, Captain.” There was a hint of a whine to Eren’s voice, yet he bridged the space between them and his lips parted for Levi as his hands slid into Levi’s hair, so Levi took it to mean that his lover wasn’t *that* upset about the loss. Even if there might be some more ‘you suck’ donuts in the next day or two. Or he would have to put up with Mikasa when he picked up Eren on Friday.

Or that he most likely had some shitty green paint in his hair just then, dammit.

It was worth it.

*******

Eren was busy with the second batch of donuts when Connie finally showed up to work, a too-big smile on his face which made it clear that he knew he was late. “Good morning!”

“Don’t good morning me, get your ass over to the sink and start doing the dishes,” Eren ordered as he started cutting into the dough.

“Sheesh, someone is a little grouchy today.” Connie snatched up an apron to tie over his long-sleeved t-shirt sporting the Trost University logo and torn jeans, and slipped on a cap similar to Eren’s. “Your sugar daddy keep you up all night?”

“Shut up.” Just for that, Eren decided not to warn his friend that Ymir had asked Annie to switch shifts with her today; first, he was pissed off about the whole ‘sugar daddy’ joke, and second… yeah, it hit a little too close to home. Levi had kept him out for another hour or so after his depressing loss so they could have a cup of coffee and some dessert while talking about their upcoming date and just things in general, then Eren had finished a couple of short assignments before bed. It was another damn *dream* which had woken him up an hour or so before work that had him in a disgruntled mood, one where him and Levi – dammit, he had to stop shoving the cutter into the dough like that or he’d ruin it.

“Oh-ho, sounds like I hit a sore spot!” Connie smirked at him while on the way to the sink full of dirty dishes. “The old guy got a lot of stamina? It’s like I always say, you gotta watch out for us short dudes. We may be small, but we pack a powerful punch!”

Eren groaned as he set the salvaged raw donut on the tray. “I really don’t want to hear this right now.”

Yet Connie appeared oblivious to his pain – that or was just a sadistic asshole that morning. “I mean, Sasha’s always happy, and that’s because I treat her right. I bet that sugar daddy of yours does the same thing, too. He just swooped on in the other night and-“

“The night when you took pictures and posted them online, when you’re not supposed to, you braindead midget?”

Connie’s confident grin turned into an expression of horror when Annie’s cold, displeased voice carried through the large kitchen. “What? Ah-Annie? What are you doing here?” He sprayed water everywhere as he turned around to look for her, until he remembered to let go of the hose.

Fortunate enough to be out of the hose’s range, Annie continued to give him a look of pure disgust with her arms folded over her apron-covered chest. “Ymir needed the day off because of an important test. Now answer my question – what the hell went on in that pea-sized brain of yours to make you think it was okay to post those pictures?”

“Aw come on, they were funny! And you were barely in the one of them!” Connie attempted to grin, but even Eren was unnerved by the frigid look Annie was giving their friend. “I took it down as soon as I got your message! It was barely up for, like, an hour, if that.” Connie swung the hose back toward the sink as he pouted. “And I did have the sense to put all of them under our friend’s filter.”

“Probably because Sasha told you to do it.”

For a moment Connie appeared ready to argue, and then he deflated as he nodded. “Yeah, she did.” Then he scowled as he pointed at Annie. “What’s the big deal, anyway? Not like you’re trying to be a big fancy lawyer like Ymir or a doctor like Krista and Marco. You just wanna do stage work, so it’s not like some HR guy seeing you all shit-faced is going to ruin your chances at a job, right?” He turned toward Eren. “I’m right, yeah?”

Eren had an idea of why Annie was so pissed off, and could just assume that Connie had taken down the picture in question before Armin had checked online this past Sunday. “Hey, my mother taught me that you never question a lady, especially when she feels strongly about something,” he said as he held his hands up, the cutter still in his right hand. “So if Annie doesn’t want her pictures online, you respect her choice.”

“Thank you,” Annie told him with a slight thaw in her obvious displeasure. “Glad to know someone here has some manners.”

“Really?” Connie put his wet hands on his hips as he glared back and forth between them. “You know, I thought you were gay and seeing someone, Eren.”

About to cut another donut, Eren paused to give his friend an incredulous look. “What the fuck?”

“You seem to be all buddy buddy with Annie all of a sudden. Something going – wah!” Connie backed up to the sink as Eren lunged to keep Annie going after him.

“Just wait til I see Sasha,” she hissed at the idiot. “What, a guy can’t support a woman without wanting in her pants? He’s being a *friend*, which is more than I can about you.” She sneered at Connie before giving Eren’s hand on her left shoulder a pat. “I’ll be up front getting things ready.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Eren watched her go before he turned his attention back on Connie. “You know you’re dead when Sasha finds out, right? I mean, she loves you and all, but don’t go around insinuating that the only reason guys and girls are friends is because of sex.”

To give him credit, Connie did appear rather shamed at the moment. “I know, and I could have kicked myself as soon as it came out. It’s just that Annie’s always been a bit standoffish with everyone, and all of a sudden you two seem to have gotten closer – we’ve all noticed it.” He took off his cap and rubbed at the back of his shaved head for a moment. “Sasha and I were up half the night playing a new game, so blame the stupidity on lack of sleep.”

Eren wasn’t about to tell Connie about how he and Annie had ‘bonded’ over problems with their names, so instead he snatched at his friend’s cap and smacked him on the head with it before handing it back. “I’d accept that as an excuse but you’re always an idiot. I mean, even Ymir phrased it better when she asked the other night.” Or at least, Eren thought she did – there had been alcohol involved. “Finish the dishes and then get started on the danishes, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” At least Connie sounded better now.

Leaving the donuts alone for a few minutes, Eren went up front to find Annie wiping out one of the display cases. “He’s sorry, you know.”

She merely grunted in response, but slowed down her cleaning. After about a minute, she pulled her head and arm out of the case and sighed. “Has Armin….”

“Nothing,” Eren assured her. “I had lunch with him yesterday, and he hasn’t said a word.”

“Okay.” She let out a slow breath and shook her head. “I guess I shouldn’t have snapped at Connie like that.”

“Eh, it’s good to do it from time to time, else he gets way too hyper.” He smiled at her, and got a ghost of a smile in return. “Maybe now he’ll shut up about how amazing short lovers are and about my ‘sugar daddy’.”

That made Annie give him an arched look. “Speaking of which, how did things go last night?” When he groaned in response, she heaved a heavy sigh. “You lost the bet, didn’t you?”

Eren frowned as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “He was in the fucking art club or whatever back in high school! Said his mom made him join.”

Annie continued to stare at him for a few seconds before shaking her head and laughing, the sound quiet yet still warm to hear. “Only you, Eren. Only you. Ah… what are you going to do now?”

That was a good question, wasn’t it? “I… I don’t know,” he admitted as her expression grew concerned. “It’s just a date, there’s no promise for anything more. It’s just… the dreams are changing. They’re changing and I don’t know what that means, if it’s good or bad, because sometimes I still get that overwhelming feeling of pain and guilt.” He dropped his hands to rub at his chest. “Why is that?”

“I don’t know, they’re your dreams.” Annie turned her attention to her hands as if there was something on them, something that made her appear so sad. “But there has to be a reason for it, just like there had to be a reason they tried to warn you away from him in the first place. So… be careful, okay?”

Eren’s gaze went from her hands to his own, which were pressed against his heart and not the name emblazoned on his skin. “I will,” he promised. “I won’t dive in too deep until I remember whatever it is that’s making dream that awful feeling.” It had to be behind the whole thing.

“Good.” Annie continued to stare at her hands for a few more seconds before letting out a slow, shuddering breath. “Okay, we need to get back to work before Shadis wonders what the hell is going on out here.”

“That or the croissants are finished baking and Connie decides to do a taste test.” Eren gave her a small smile and waited until she responded in kind before turning to leave.

*******

“Hey! Armin! Here’s your stuff.”

Armin looked up from his phone and smiled at Greg, who was waving a white bag emblazoned with a red rose at him. “Thanks! Was there enough money?”

“Yeah, enough for your scones and even a bear claw for me.” Greg set the bag on the desk in front of Armin before digging into the front right pocket of his jeans for some loose change, which he handed over. “Worked out great, that was my breakfast.”

“I really appreciate it, I know my friends talk about the place all the time but it’s not on my way to class. They’re always going on about the pastries and the cute staff.” He shared a grin with his fellow organic chemistry student as Greg grabbed a seat next to him.

Greg laughed as he riffled through his black and green backpack as if looking for his notebook, strands of his black hair falling into his eyes since he was bent over. “Well, the bear claw was delicious, but I was also starved so I think I’ll have to try another sample for a more rounded opinion. But yeah, the blonde chick behind the counter was hot even if she blew me off.”

“Hmm.” Armin tucked the bag into his own backpack while he powered on his tablet to take notes. “Her name wouldn’t happen to be Krista, would it? My friend Jean keeps going on about this Krista who works there.”

“Nah, her badge said ‘Annie’.” It looked as if Greg was about to say something else, but Professor Murillo had entered the room to start the class so everyone fell silent and prepared to take notes.

*******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re Levi's thoughts on the past - yes, yes, I know, the most recent chapters… the theories… the spoilers…. But it’s an AU, I’m going with this for now since it makes the most sense. :-P


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update time! Good news is, new chapter! More good news, it's a REALLY long chapter (I had all these scenes which I really felt belonged together, so that's why this one is so big). Extra good news? You get answers! Yes, we find out what Eren's subconscious has been hiding from him!
> 
> Hmm, maybe that's good news.... *nervous laughter* Guess you gotta read it all to see what happens....
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are so appreciated (wonder what you'll think of this one!).

*******

Eren put his phone on speaker when he saw his mother’s smiling face appear on the screen so he could continue to attempt to do something with his hair. “So what, seriously, do you get a tingling sensation that tells you it’s the absolutely worse time to call and then just reach for your phone or what?”

“Oh you rotten little brat. It’s times like this when I want to lord it over you how long I was in labor, but you just had to come out in four hours, didn’t you? Abigail? Now *she* can torment poor Armin with how she suffered for almost twenty hours, but you just had to be in a hurry.”

He laughed at the frustration evident in his mother’s voice, and she joined in after a couple of seconds. “That’s me, always rushing around.”

“So what has you rushing around this time, hmm? A hot date?” When he was quiet a second or two too long, she gasped. “You *do*! You really are a rotten little brat! Who is it?”

Debating for a moment how much he should tell her, Eren tugged on his bangs a couple of times then let out a sigh; he *had* to schedule a hair cut sometime next week, seriously. “He’s a guy I met at the bakery. Right now it’s… I’m just seeing how it goes.”

“Hmm, has Mikasa met him?”

Yeah, he should have seen that question coming. “Yes, she has, and he hasn’t fallen down the stairs yet,” Eren informed her with a bit of heat which he regretted a moment later. “Sorry, but yeah, I’m sure she’ll be here any minute now to see me off in your place, but she seems okay with him.”

His mother was quiet for a moment. “Eren, honey, all that matters is if you’re happy with him. It puts me at ease if I know that Mikasa approves since she looks out for you, but in the end, he’s your boyfriend. You’re young, enjoy yourself.” Then she laughed a little. “Just… not too much, okay? You’re still my baby.”

“I know,” he sighed as he picked up the phone then went over to his closet to figure out something to wear. “Is there a point to all of this other than to take a hit to my masculinity before I go out?”

That earned him another laugh. “No, I can do that any time.” When he groaned, she laughed some more. “Honestly, I just called to make sure that you’re fine with me going along with your father on his business trip. You’ll be all right over spring break?”

Even though she couldn’t see it, he smiled. “I’d tell you that I’d starve without you taking care of me to get back at you for the ‘baby’ comment, but you know Mikasa’s here now and that’ll never happen. Go, Mom. I know you’ve been dying to spend some time at the spas in Mitras and to check out the new restaurants there, so enjoy yourself. Maybe spend some time with Dad, too. I hear he’s a decent guy.”

“You really are a rotten brat,” she chided him with the familiar complaint, her voice soft with love.

“Yeah, no idea how that happened. Must be my parents’ fault, bad upbringing and all.”

“Just for that, I hope your date takes you to a lousy burger joint or something. And makes you pay.”

Eren laughed as he selected one of the few nice dress shirts he’d brought from home, a bright blue one that brought out the color of his eyes. “Love you too.”

“Love you more,” his mother insisted before she hung up.

He stared at the phone for a minute afterwards, thoughts on how if things worked out with Levi, *if*, then he would probably have a good bit of explaining to do on how he’d kept the fact that he’d found his ‘name’ from his family for so long; no doubt his parents would be upset, especially his mother, but…. Dammit. Things were so complicated, and he didn’t foresee anything changing in the near future. He still had to figure out what was happening with his dreams as well as what was going on with Levi, had the rest of the semester to complete, and his parents weren’t going to be happy when he told them that he didn’t want to return home for the summer except for a short visit.

He’d just finished getting dressed when there was a knock on the front door, and since it was only a quarter to six, he had a feeling he knew who it was – and was proven right when the open door revealed Mikasa dressed in yoga pants and a hoodie. “Hi. You forget something?”

She waved as she entered the apartment. “I figured that since you’re not going to be here this evening, you won’t mind me hanging out, right? I could use a few hours of privacy.”

Eren sighed as he ran his hand through his hair – dammit, so much for keeping it looking sorta nice. “I have a date.”

Mikasa shrugged as she set her bag on the couch then sat down. “So? You planning on bringing him back here?” She gave him a flat look as if daring him to say ‘yes’.

“No, I’m not.” His shoulders hunched forward as he folded his arms over his chest. “It’s just a-“ He had almost said ‘first date’ before he caught himself. “It’s just a nice dinner out thing.”

“Hmm, then you don’t mind if I crash here for a little bit, right? Coach Alex is really nice, but her kids are crazy and I could use a little downtime.”

He almost told her to go hang out with Armin, but their friend was probably busy studying or had plans with his own friends; it wasn’t that Mikasa was antisocial, but she’d just moved to Trost and it took her a little time to warm up to new people. “Yeah, it’s okay. Help yourself to what’s in the fridge.”

The smile she gave him just then made him feel as if he’d just… as if he’d just done something incredible instead of offering a dear friend his couch and leftovers. “Thank you. You look great, you know. Lenny’s going to be drooling over you all night.” For once there wasn’t any bitterness or sarcasm in her voice, though her eyes narrowed a little.

“I hope not, this is a good shirt,” he joked as he ran his hand along the front.

“Yes, it is.” She pulled out a tablet from her bag then rearranged the pillows on the couch so she could stretch out. “You keep up on what you learned at my parent’s studio? We could go through some of the basics this weekend if you like.”

“Mikasa.” Yeah, his hair was a lost cause as he ran both hands through it this time. “I’m good, don’t think I need a refresher course on kendo any time soon.”

“You sure? It’s good exercise and you never know when it might come in handy.”

“Like with a date who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer?” He chuckled as he sat down near her feet. “I think it’s just easier to punch him then call you to deal with him, *not* that I think that’ll happen with Lenny.” For all the talk about *those* dreams and the kisses, Levi wasn’t being too ‘hands on’. No, he wasn’t upset about that, dammit.

“Hmm, just helps to be prepared… with a big stick and all.” She sounded so serious, but he noticed a slight smirk on her lips.

He snatched up her feet and began to tickle them. “You know what, I lied, you can’t have *anything* while I’m gone! Just sit here and starve!”

Mikasa laughed as she struggled to pull her feet free. “Yu-you don’ mean that.” She laughed some more while she managed to jerk her left foot free, and used it to shove Eren away. “Like you’d really starve me.”

“One day you’ll come by and there’ll be nothing for you,” Eren warned as he leaned back in her direction to sprawl over her legs. “Hmm, soft.” He rubbed his face along the fabric of her yoga pants.

That earned him another laugh as she combed her fingers through his hair. “Your mother raised you better than that. And what’s going on with your hair? Are you growing it out or what?”

“I don’t know, I just keep forgetting to get it cut.” He closed his eyes to enjoy the feel of her fingers when there was a knock on his door. “Ah, Le-Lenny’s here!” He jumped up and ran to the door, then realized that he was being a bit too anxious and forced himself to slow down – it was just a date, he told himself. When he glanced over his shoulder to find Mikasa shaking her head as if pity, he sighed and rubbed at his forehead over how he was such a mess, and could only hope that Levi didn’t figure it out.

*******

“Put away the suit.”

Levi glared at Erwin as he held up the black suit to his chest. “It’s Tom Ford, what do you have against Tom Ford?”

Erwin closed his eyes and took a deep breath before answering. “Nothing, I own several of his suits myself. However, I don’t wear one on a first date with a college student unless I want to come across as arrogant or a creep who has to pay for a relationship.”

“Just what are you implying?” Levi took a step closer to his friend, his eyes narrowed and the suit shoved at Hange – who hurried to step between him and Erwin with her hands held out.

“Hey! He’s just pointing out that you’re going way overboard on a first date with your snookums, okay? And that it won’t look good, you showing up all dapper Dan if Eren doesn’t. Save the suit for your wedding or something, all right?”

He glanced back and forth between his two friends a couple of times before he sighed, the suit once more held in his arms as he stroked his left hand along the fine material. “Just want to make a good impression tonight,” he complained as he focused on the outfit. “Finally got a real date with Eren and I want it to go right.”

Erwin inched forward until he was within reach and tugged the suit out of Levi’s grasp. “We know, and trust me, I’m right about this. Wear the grey slacks and a white shirt if you want, they’re a step up from jeans but not too formal that Eren will feel uncomfortable if he doesn’t dress up.”

“I told him I was taking him to a nice place.”

Hange laughed as she shifted some of the clothes aside so Erwin could hang up the suit. “And how often do you complain about the way the interns dress, hmm?”

Okay, so they might have a point. “Fine, I won’t flip out if he’s dressed like a slob, anything else?”

Erwin pulled out his phone and checked something on it. “Dinner reservations are set for six-thirty, I made sure you’ll get a nice table a bit away from everyone else.”

“And I slipped a little ‘get lucky’ package beneath your pillow, just in case.” Hange attempted to wink at him – or at least that’s what Levi assumed she was trying to do since the lids of her left eye kept twitching – and was spared from smacking her down himself by Erwin. “Ow!”

“That’s not going to happen tonight.”

“Yeah, what he said.” Then Levi considered what his friend had just said. “Wait, you think I’m not going to get lucky with Eren, you shit?”

It looked as if Erwin was beginning to come down with a headache, the way he rubbed at his temples. “I think if you’re serious about getting another date with him, you won’t push things tonight,” he snapped. “You’ve been working the last couple of weeks on building his trust, don’t fuck it up now because you can’t keep it in your pants,” he continued in the same tone, and then his blue eyes went wide as if his brain caught up to his fucking mouth. “Ah, I what I meant was-“

Levi waved aside any excuses. “You meant that I shouldn’t think with my dick, I get it.” He let out a slow breath as he searched through the shirts hanging up in his closet. “Part of me does want to bring him back here and, well, you know.” He glared at Hange when she did that disgusting high-pitched giggle sound of hers. “In my head, we’re already lovers – we’ve been lovers since I was fourteen fucking years old. If it wasn’t for whatever shit is messing up his dreams, Eren would feel the same way.”

Erwin nodded as if to show that he understood while he rubbed at the upper-left side of his chest. “From everything I’ve been told by people in similar situations as yourself, that makes sense. It sounds as if Eren is slowly getting over whatever block he has, so just… give him a little more time, all right?” He offered Levi an encouraging smile. “We’re here for you, and we’ll help you until you’re truly together.” As he spoke, he reached past Levi to pull out a white Valentino Roma dress shirt. “This should do.”

Levi accepted the shirt with a mumbled “thank you” and added it to the hook from which the grey pants already hung. “Okay, so dinner’s set and I won’t look too creepy when I pick him up. Anything else –and think twice before you say it, you crazy lunatic,” he warned Hange.

She pouted as she dusted off her hands. “I was just going to wish you good luck, but fine, break a leg or whatever,” she grumbled before leaning in to give him a quick kiss. “Better be an extra dozen donuts on Monday.”

“Are those pants getting a bit tight?” He grinned when she gave him the finger, but she laughed as she pushed Erwin out of the closet.

“Yes, good luck,” Erwin wished him as well. “We’ll see ourselves out.”

“About fucking time,” Levi complained, but he was grateful for their help.

As soon as he heard his front door close, he went to the bathroom to get ready, spending a little longer in the shower than usual both to calm his nerves and to be thoroughly clean. Once out, he did the usual routine at the sink as well as touch up his shaving, wanting to be perfect for Eren; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent this long on getting ready for, well, *anything*. Hell, he hadn’t put this much effort into looking presentable for his university graduation ceremony.

Once that was done, he went to get dressed, his attention lingering on the suits hung up neatly in the closet before he forced himself to dress in the outfit Erwin had selected for him, along with a belt, watch, and a pair of comfortable leather shoes. Since the weather had warmed up a little, he opted for a lightweight black overcoat into which he tucked his keys, phone and wallet before he left to pick up Eren.

His nerves were frayed by the time he reached his lover’s apartment, and he hesitated a moment before he knocked – what if Eren had changed his mind? What if Eren showed up dressed in ratty jeans and a t-shirt? What if tonight was one big disaster? Would Levi get a second chance? Maybe it would be better to just keep showing up at the bakery morning after morning and-

No, he could do this – he *had* to do this, because after meeting Eren in *this* life, dreams weren’t enough anymore. Telling his nerves to go take a flying fuck, Levi forced his right hand to lift up and knock on Eren’s door.

It took almost a minute for the door to be opened, and Eren was smiling on the other side of it; his almost chin-length hair was in his face and sticking up all over, but the rest of him appeared as if he’d put some effort into tonight, considering the deep blue dress shirt and the jeans that looked brand new. “So what, does it physically pain you to show up late or something?”

Levi clicked his tongue as he stepped into the apartment, right hand rising to comb through the tangled mess of his lover’s hair. “Some people consider punctuality to be a virtue, you little shit.”

“How long have you two been dating? Surely you’ve figured out by now that Eren’s fifty-fifty at best on showing up on time, unless grades or his job is at stake.”

Hearing Mikasa’s voice made Levi’s hand still, even though Eren had closed his eyes and canted his head into the touch. “And a good evening to you, too,” he called out.

A slight flush tinted Eren’s dusky skin as he opened his eyes. “Ah, she’s sorta crashing here for a little bit since it’s crowded where she’s staying.”

Why would Levi care? It wasn’t as if – oh, was he supposed to be upset that they couldn’t come back here or something? Glancing over Eren’s left shoulder, he found Mikasa giving him a blank look, as if waiting for his reaction. “Whatever, it’s your cable she’s using. Don’t bitch to me if she watches a bunch of nasty pay-per-view.”

Her eyes narrowed as she held up her tablet. “Please, I have access to his wifi and his Neflix account, I’ll just mess up his queue instead.”

“Sounds good to me. Maybe load up a bunch of shows to do with makeovers since he doesn’t know what a fucking hairbrush is.”

“Huh, that’s not a bad idea.”

Eren glanced back and forth between them several times with his eyes gone wide and mouth agape. “Eh? Really? Okay, you know what? It’s time to leave,” he told Levi as he pushed him toward the door. “And I’m serious, empty fridge,” he called back to Mikasa as he shoved his feet into the suede sneakers by the door and snatched up a grey windbreaker.

Levi waited for Eren to close the door behind him and smiled, in part because of how flustered his lover appeared just then. “I think she’s beginning to warm up to me.” His smile widened when Eren gave him a distinctly displeased look in return.

“I’m so happy for you – I’ll remember this night so when I’m the best man at the wedding for the two of you, I’ll be able to reference it.”

“You little shit.” Levi reached over to tousle Eren’s hair – wasn’t like he could make it any worse at this point – and wrung a chuckle out of his lover. “You’re supposed to respect your elders.”

“Respect, hmm?” Eren gave him a wide eye look while he clutched his hands to his chest. “I’m so sorry, sir. It’ll never happen again.”

“And I call bullshit. But don’t worry, all you need is a bit of discipline,” Levi drawled out while he narrowed his eyes and looked Eren up and down.

“Uhm.” Eren’s expression changed into something resembling distress and he stumbled a little, and as Levi reached out to catch him, he cursed himself for the lousy joke; Eren had told him about the ‘nightmares’, about how Levi had beat him up in them. Why had he said something like that, and tonight of all nights?

“Look, I didn’t-“

“Ah, yeah, discipline.” Eren ducked his head, and even with his unruly hair covering his face, Levi could catch a more telling flush this time. “Uhm.”

Oh. *Oh*. So it wasn’t one of *those* dreams, was it? His hand slid along Eren’s arm to skim down to the small of Eren’s back. “Ah yeah, we had a lot of fun with those straps, hmm?”

“Oh god, take me now,” Eren mumbled as he buried his face in his hands.

“Funny, I remember you saying just that to m-ooff.” Levi rubbed his stomach where his lover had just smacked him. Despite the pain, he chuckled as they headed to his car, Eren still hiding his face but laughing and calling him a bastard while Levi commented on how someone needed to work out some more.

*******

Since they had some time between parking the car and the dinner reservation, Levi had offered for them to walk around a bit before going to the restaurant; Eren had said ‘yes’ to the idea, a little nervous for some reason even though he felt comfortable in Levi’s presence. “So, you been to this place before?” He hadn’t been to any of the more expensive places in Trost since he was a university student and hadn’t been on any dates – well, before Levi.

Levi ducked his head as they walked down the sidewalk. “Ah, it comes recommended.” When Eren continued to stare at him, he clicked his tongue. “Erwin, my boss, is friend with the owner and likes this place – that doesn’t mean it’s not supposed to be good.” He glanced at Eren with a slight frown. “You like seafood, right?”

That caused Eren to consider the question as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I mean, yes. How did you- oh, never mind.” It got confusing, this whole past life thing. “So you remembered that, huh?”

There was a slight smile on Levi’s face as he stepped a little closer to Eren, his left hand hovering near Eren’s right. “There might be a memory of you being obsessed with the ocean or something.”

“Ah, that one.” Yes, Eren could recall that, could remember memories on lying in bed or sitting in trees and wondering if he’d ever reach the ocean. “My parents first took me there when I was six – my mom still teases me to this day about how I screamed when they tried to take me back to the hotel at the end of the day, all tired and sunburnt.”

Levi chuckled upon hearing that, and when his hand brushed against Eren’s, Eren allowed their fingers to tangle together. “Such a willful brat, huh?”

“Oh, like you weren’t, huh?”

There was a slight squeeze to his fingers in response. “I never really knew my father – something about him not wanting the responsibility, but my mother managed just fine without him.” Eren gave a sympathetic squeeze back in return. “Seriously, she’s wonderful,” Levi insisted. “And there was my Uncle Kenny, even if his idea of love is… well, ‘tough love’ is putting it mildly. He’s the one who dragged me down to the local gym and taught me how to fight.”

That provoked a laugh out of Eren. “Why can I see you as a kid kicking the ass of a bunch of grown men?”

“You’re mostly right.” Levi canted a slight smile and pressed against his side. “Uncle Kenny didn’t take it easy on me, but he mostly had the best intentions. Certainly made high school easier when I was the shortest kid in class and the jocks thought they could roll me over in freshman year.”

“Hmm, and so that explains the whole art club thing.”

Levi actually laughed at that. “Yeah, I don’t know who my mom wanted to kill the most, me or Uncle Kenny – I got back in her good graces with the club, but Uncle Kenny got stuck on clean-up duty for a month or so – and he did a shit job.”

“What the….” Eren laughed a little and bent his head to rest against Levi’s. “So yeah, your whole cleaning thing? Still going strong, evidently.”

“Such a brat,” Levi complained as he pushed against Eren’s hip.

“You’ve said that before.” Eren smiled at his… okay, not thinking about that right now.

“Because it’s true. You’re such a-“ There was a loud noise on the street in ahead of them, a couple of young men with raised voices as they strutted down the sidewalk. “Great, a bunch of shitstains.”

Eren frowned as he found himself pressing against Levi for some reason. “Well, it is a Friday night, even if it’s a bit early.” While part of him was on edge over their presence, another part figured if the two of them just acted normal, maybe the idiots would leave them alone.

“Shitstains will be shitstains,” Levi ground out with his attention focused forward. “Somethings never change.”

“How far until the restaurant?”

“We can turn at the next block and then go wait at the-“

“Oh, don’t you two look sweet?” The tallest of the three ‘shitstains’ lunged forward to leer at Eren and Levi, lurching a little as if drunk; Eren found himself shoved behind Levi as his boyfr- his date stepped forward as if to shield him from the asshole.

“Yeah, what of it?” Levi’s deep voice lowered even more, enough to make Eren shiver to hear it, and the cocky smile on the teenager’s face wavered as he stared at Levi; all three of them were dressed in denim jackets emblazoned in patches from local bands as if some sort of emblems and torn jeans, with slicked back dyed hair of various colors and pierced brows. Eren wanted to taunt them about their pathetic attempts at being ‘non-conformists’, but not only did Levi have a death-grip on his hand but there was a familiar painful crushing sensation to his chest. As Eren stumbled from the awful feeling, Levi wrapped an arm around his waist and faced off with the threesome.

“You fuckers want something?”

So stupid – Eren wanted to smack the bastard but couldn’t do anything but clutch at his chest, yet to his surprise the three kid didn’t do anything other than glower at Levi before shuffling away. “Whatever, old man,” the one grumbled as they skirted around them on the sidewalk, and once they were well behind them, Levi clicked his tongue and turned to face Eren.

“You okay?” He reached out with his right hand to stroke along Eren’s face.

“Wha-what the hell?” Eren let out a slow breath and fought the urge to tilt his head into the caress. “What if those kids hadn’t moved on?” The pain in his chest was slow to lessen, but Levi’s concerned expression and gentle touch did do something to loosen the tight know of… of whatever. “You were going to fight them? You think I can’t fight for myself or something? Did we even have to fight?”

At least he was willing to calm down until Levi had the gall to click his tongue and act as if nothing had happened. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, all right?” When Eren glared at that… that *shitty* answer, Levi glared back. “No, don’t even give me any shit, all right? You’ll be safe with me.” Before Eren could argue, Levi tugged his head down for a kiss.

While some part of him reacted to the kiss – dammit – another part of him shivered for a completely different reason, shivered with a lingering sense of pain and guilt that was reminiscent of his dream. When Levi finally did pull away with something akin to smug pride, Eren found himself following in silence, confused about that odd emotion and what it had to do with the present.

*******

Okay, so maybe things had taken a wrong turn there somehow, but Eren seemed to be a bit more relaxed now that they were at the restaurant and had ordered – well, now that they had wine. Levi watched as Eren took several sips after the server left with their food order. “Yeah, real classy there. I can see how last weekend happened.”

Eren scowled as he set the half-empty glass aside. “Those were shots, and – wait, why am I even explaining myself?” He rested his elbows on the table and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. “Look, what were you thinking back there? Do you do stuff like that often?” He frowned as he pressed his right hand against the center of his chest, above his heart, as if something caused him pain.

“Huh?” Levi leaned back in his seat and picked up his own glass of white wine. “Those shitstains?” Internally he winced when he noticed how Eren’s frown deepened. “Look… my mom and I… I told you I didn’t know my dad, right?” Eren gave him a slight nod. “My mom raised me herself, but her parents died when she was young.” Some of tension left his lover’s body and his expression changed to one of pity.

“Levi, I’m so sorry.”

Levi waved that aside, though he made sure to give Eren a slight smile in reassurance. “Thanks, but she had my uncle, and they managed. I mean, it was rough, they didn’t have much money, and I won’t lie and say that we lived in the best neighborhood, but we had each other.  Uncle Kenny… ha, he’s a bit of an acquired taste, but he stepped up for the asshole who ran off on my mom.” He paused to take a sip of wine. “Runs a local gym, and like I told you earlier, he taught me to stand up for myself, which was important when you’re a small, antisocial runt.”

Eren’s smile took on an amused edge. “I’m sure.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi set the glass aside and dared to reach out to grasp Eren’s and, and felt a rush of relief when his lover didn’t pull away; he entwined their fingers together and continued. “So maybe I could have just ducked my head and let them insult us, but I guess… it’s not what my uncle taught me.” The slight smile on his lips slipped away while he stared at the man he loved. “Especially not when there’s something you care about involved.”

Eren continued to gaze at him for a few more seconds before he lowered his eyes and ducked his head. “It’s just… I don’t… dammit, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He let out a loud breath as he scrubbed at his face. “But you don’t need to worry about me.” He sounded so intent just then that Levi felt the need to give his hand a squeeze as a way of offering comfort.

“Brat… I can’t stop worrying about you,” Levi scoffed. “Including over the fact that you might end up in jail for attempted homicide.”

That earned him a wide-eyed stare for about four seconds before Eren tugged his hand free so he could throw his folded napkin in Levi’s direction. “You’re such an asshole!” Still, he was laughing as Levi batted the linen aside.

“Hmm, but a sexy one.”

“Why do I put up with you?”

“Like I just said – sexy.” Levi smirked as he threw the napkin back.

Eren rolled his eyes at that while he unfolded the napkin to set it on his lap. “I think that wine has already gone to your head.”

“Right, how’s those dreams of yours been lately?” Levi’s smirk intensified as Eren began to squirm in his seat, but the brat was saved by their server returning with their appetizer, a crab dip with soft pita bread squares.

“Can I get you anything else right now?” the young man asked while he refilled their wine glasses with the bottle of chardonnay left chilling in the ice bucket.

“No, I think we’re good for now,” Levi insisted while Eren seemed much too focused on the dip. As soon as the man left, he searched under the table with his right foot until he found one of Eren’s and gave it a slight nudge. “Now where were we?”

“You were being an ass,” Eren muttered as he glowered at Levi through the thick fall of his bangs.

“Yeah, but a *sexy* one, right?”

That earned him another laugh as Eren sat up in his chair. “Okay, I’ll give you that.”

Confident that things were back on track, Levi smiled and began to tell Eren about the cluster-fuck that was Erwin trying to figure out what new servers to buy for work.

*******

It didn’t come as a big surprise to Eren when Levi insisted on walking him back to his door after their dinner date; he was picking up on how ‘old fashioned’ his ‘name’ could be about certain things, such as opening doors, seating him at the table, and the whole ‘alpha’ male display on the street earlier. For the most part, it was touching – well, except for the last item. Eren still felt unsettled about Levi being all protective about him for some reason.

When they reached the door, he smiled at Levi as he held up his keys. “It was a great night, thank you.” Despite the one incident, he’d had a good time – surprisingly so. The restaurant had been wonderful, with its view overlooking the Dimos River and the excellent food, and it had been nice to sit and talk with Levi for the last couple of hours. It had felt so normal, so peaceful… and a part of Eren was upset at how the night had come to an end. Even as he tried to hold on to the memory of the nightmares which had haunted him for so long, he had come to accept that *this* Levi wasn’t that man.

Levi hovered next to him with an uncertain expression on his face. “Yeah, it was good.”

Eren didn’t know if he was trying for an invite inside, which wasn’t possible because of Mikasa – why hadn’t he just asked Eren back to his place instead? Then he wondered if maybe Levi was a bit reluctant to say goodbye as well and smiled. “Dinner was really delicious, I liked their crab cakes.”

“Erwin knows his shit, I’m glad he recommended the place.” Levi combed his fingers through his hair, the black strands falling neatly back into place as his hand paused for a moment against the shaved part of his head. “Maybe… maybe we could go back there?”

Something in Eren’s chest tightened at how… how *adorable* Levi looked, all uncertain like that. “Maybe.” When Levi’s expression turned crestfallen, he smiled and stepped closer. “But you know, I’m not a bad cook myself. How about you come over tomorrow and I make you something since you treated me to dinner, hmm?”

It seemed as if it took a few seconds for Levi to realize that he was basically being offered another date, and then there was a hint of a smile on his lips as he draped his arms around Eren’s waist. “I guess, as long as-“

Eren covered the bastard’s mouth with both of his hands. “Say one more word about me poisoning you again and the offer’s off the table, understood?” He glared to back up the warning.

Levi nodded, his grey eyes bright with amusement, and as soon as Eren pulled his hands away, rocked up to kiss him. Eren grumbled a little, which *of course* the bastard took advantage of, his tongue slipping into Eren’s mouth, and dammit why could Levi kiss like that? Eren closed his eyes and ran his hands along Levi’s firm chest while his ass was gently groped, a low moan slipping free when Levi’s mouth trailed down his chin and along his neck, and decided that yeah, they could just make out here in the hallway.

At least, until someone a couple doors down left their apartment, a muttered ‘rooms, dudes’ and a slammed door in their wake while Eren and Levi pulled apart with some reluctance.

“So, what time tomorrow?” Levi’s face was a bit flushed and his breathing labored as he patted down his jacket as if at a loss of where he’d put his keys.

Eren felt as if his heart was determined to bust free of his chest and his pants were a bit too tight at the moment, and it took him a couple of seconds to clear his throat. “Ah, well, six seems to work for us so how about then?”

“That’s fine.” Levi appeared to locate his keys and held them in his left hand as he leaned in for one more kiss. “See you then.”

“Okay. Good night.”

“Good night.” Levi took a step back but didn’t turn around until Eren unlocked his door and stepped through it. Hell, for all Eren knew, he might even wait for the sound of the deadbolt sliding into place, the guy was that anal about certain things. Shaking his head at that thought, Eren kicked off his shoes and hung up his coat, then noticed that Mikasa was stretched out on his couch fast asleep.

It wasn’t that late, but he knew she was spending so much of her time working out in order to be in shape for the next major competition, as well as the stress of the move and the new training regime. So he smiled as he crept toward the couch and unfolded the soft blanket draped over the top, then spread it out on top of his friend.

Mikasa stirred as the blanket was tucked around her. “Hmm?”

“It’s just me,” Eren whispered as he stroked a hand over her hair. “Go back to sleep.”

“You’re back now?” She sounded out of it with sleep and opened her eyes just a little.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

“Good.” Her eyes drifted shut and her head pressed into the pillow; he smiled at the peaceful look on his face then went to his bedroom – or more accurately, his shower. His hopefully very sound-proofed shower.

*******

“Dammit!” Eren sat up in his bed, hunched over as he clutched at his chest, fingers dug into the sweat-soaked t-shirt. “Dammit.” He forced his fingers to unclench and held them up, watched as they trembled while he struggled to breathe evenly with the terrible sensation of guilt and loss still clawing at him from the inside.

He’d rather suffer through one of the dreams of him and Levi having sex, of that rooftop scene or them in the basement room or Levi’s office or… *anything* other than that awful day out in the forest, of when Levi told him to be careful then leapt out into the air. Eren didn’t know why that one dream bothered him so much, why it made him feel like this, but it did – and he *hated* it. Yet maybe he was finally getting closer to finding out why his dreams had tried to warn him away from Levi.

Why were they being so… so bipolar? First they cast Levi as a monster, then when he meets Levi they begin to show him a different side of the man. And now, when he finally began to think there might be a chance for them, his damn psyche had to hint that it might finally be willing to explain the whole reason behind the… the what? The mess that was his life?

Eren groaned as he forced himself off of his bed and stumbled toward his shower. Mikasa should still be out on the couch so he’d offer her breakfast after he cleaned himself off, and then he’d see if she wanted to work out together. Maybe that would help get his mind in somewhat of a working order so he could get a few things done before his date tonight with Levi.

*******

Levi grimaced as Erwin handed him a black long-sleeved t-shirt, his white ‘decoding disinformation’ t-shirt, and a pair of comfortable but decent jeans. “I can dress myself,” he complained as he debated throwing them back in the asshole’s face.

“Admit it, you were considering the suit again.” Erwin fisted his hands on his hips and stood on guard before the neat row of the expensive garments.

Oh fine, so his friend might know him a little… okay, Erwin *really* knew him. “It’s dinner at his place.”

“Which is why you’re going to look casual but not too casual, and arrive with a nice bottle of wine,” Erwin insisted.

Levi headed into the bedroom so he could start getting dressed. “Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?”

“He works in a bakery, so sweets are out, and considering what happened last time you took him flowers… I’d rather avoid another poisoning attempt.” Erwin didn’t bat an eye upon seeing Levi in his boxer-briefs, but then again, he’d crashed at the apartment Levi’d shared with Hange enough during university to see much worse; there’d also been that one make-out session during the party at the end of their junior year, but they’d fallen asleep before getting barely to second base and then decided the next day that they were better off as friends.

“Ha, ha, so funny.” Levi almost threw his cargo pants at the asshole, but Erwin would just throw them back, and with considerable force.

“Says the man who’s dating someone who attempted to poison him.”

“Hey, attempted homicide keeps me on my toes – it’s an extra spark to the relationship,” he joked before he pulled on the faded grey jeans.

Erwin laughed as he headed out of the room. “Only you, Levi.”

Once he was finished getting dressed and checked his appearance in the mirror, Levi went to join him. “So do I pass muster?”

Busy on his phone, Erwin paused to look him up and down, then took a picture. “Perfect. I’d pass on Hange’s message, but you don’t have the time to track her down and kill her if you’re supposed to be at Eren’s in twenty minutes.”

The shitty lunatic…. “I think I can figure it out.” Probably something along the lines of getting lucky and demanding more damn pastries and not being such a grouch when he did get lucky. “You know, I hear the research laws are so much more lax in Russia. You can always just set up a remote lab there for her and Moblit.”

“The last thing our company needs is an international incident, as I keep reminding you,” Erwin insisted as he tucked his phone into the front right pocket of his jeans. “Now hurry up or you’ll be late.” He picked up the bottle of wine from the kitchen counter and handed it over.

“Yeah, yeah.” One day he’d convince Erwin of the logic of his grand plan – but for now, he had a date, another chance with Eren that he wouldn’t risk screwing up.

*******

Eren was had just started the hot water for the noodles when he heard the insistent knock on his door; as always, Levi was right on time. He smiled a little as he hurried to answer it, and found Levi standing in a rather stiff manner with a bottle of wine in his hands. “Come on in.”

“This is for you.” Levi all but shoved the bottle in his face, which caused Eren to take a step back and blink.

“Ah, okay.” He accepted the bottle and nodded. “Thanks.” Levi was dressed casual today, in a layered t-shirt ensemble and jeans; he toed off his black sneakers as soon as he stepped into the apartment. “So, you do some hacking or something?” Eren motioned to the front of Levi’s shirts before he returned to the kitchen. “You said something about security, right?”

Levi rubbed at the shaved part of his head as he followed. “Yeah… sorta.” When Eren gave him a puzzled frown before he set the bottle on the counter, Levi shrugged. “I told you that my mom didn’t make a lot of money, right?” When Eren nodded, Levi shrugged again as he leaned against the counter, and Eren handed him a corkscrew then motioned to the cabinet which held the glasses before returning to the beef stroganoff he was making. “Well, she made an effort to save up for a computer to me when I was a kid to help out with my school work, and since she’d done that, I used it.” Levi gave a weird sort of chuckle as he uncorked the wine. “Used it too much, maybe, as I learned more than playing games and writing up reports, but I was always a nosy little shit. By the time I hit college, I was a pretty good hacker.” He chuckled some more at Eren’s impressed gasp. “Yeah, not to brag but I was *really* good. The scholarship I told you about paid for the classes and the dorm but not much more than that, and I figured out a way to earn some extra money by ‘tweaking’ other people’s grades.”

Eren couldn’t help but stare while he was busy adding some sour cream to the sauce. “Holy shit, you didn’t!”

Levi had the grace to appear a bit guilty then. “I didn’t touch my own grades, but yeah, I accepted cash to bump up the grades of some other dumb fucks – not much, just a fraction here or there. Thing is, this one TA noticed it.” Levi chuckled as he handed Eren a glass of red wine, something that smelled nice and fruity. “He must have noticed that I was one of the few students not having their GPA improved and he tracked me down, and he gave me a warning.”

Eren took a sip of the delicious wine and he set it aside. “What happened?”

“I did my best to deny it, but he’d done his research. Told me that if the grade manipulation stopped, he wouldn’t report me.” Levi’s eyes narrowed for a moment, and then he shrugged again. “Bastard had the gall to offer me a job at the end of it all, and long story short, he ended up being one of my best friends and my boss."

Giving up on their dinner for a minute, Eren laughed as he raised his glass in a toast. “Okay, that’s a great story. A bad example, but a great story.” He grinned at Levi. “You’re so lucky – I could never get away with anything. The one time Armin and I snuck in to my dad’s office to look at his medical books so we could figure out how to best fight the bullies bothering him, he found out that evening.”

Levi clicked his tongue as he picked up the wine bottle to refill Eren’s glass. “That sounds rather pathological.”

“Ah, we just wanted to know where their liver and kidneys were – we heard they were the best to hit… oh don’t look at me like that,” Eren whined as he threw a leftover chopped mushroom at the asshole – and missed, of course.

“Right, like that makes it so much better.” Levi joined him by the stove, a warm presence by his side. “So what’s for dinner?”

“Hmm, beef stroganoff.” Eren knocked his right elbow into Levi’s side. “It’s a popular dish at my mom’s café.” Since the water was boiling, he set his wine glass aside and picked up the bag of egg noodles so he could add them to the salted water. “Should be ready soon.”

“Smells delicious.” Levi paused to take a deep breath. “So you learned to cook from your mom?”

“Yeah.” Eren smiled from all of the memories. “My dad’s a great guy, but he works a lot at the hospital. I spent a lot of time with my mom growing up, and I guess I picked up a lot about cooking and baking from her.” His smile slipped a little as he thought about a few things. “I was involved in some sports, but the baking stuff… it helped with patience.”

Levi huffed as he picked up a wooden spoon and poked at the cooking noodles. “Yeah, you said something like that the one night. I guess I spent a lot of time with my uncle, since I was always at the gym after school.”

“That explains why you weigh a ton,” Eren grumbled as he turned off the heat beneath the stroganoff then checked the pasta; just another couple of minutes. While that continued to cook, he fetched a bowl to put everything in since the table was already set.

That earned him a tongue-clicking as Levi jabbed him in the ribs. “Says someone who’s little more than skin and bones.”

“Hey! I work out,” Eren protested as he attempted to kick the bastard in the shin, only for Levi to dodge out of the way.

“Yeah, right.” Levi sneered on his way to the sink, where there were a few dirty dishes from Eren’s prep work; Levi didn’t ask, he just filled up the sink with water and began to wash. “How soon will it be ready?”

“Uhm, not much longer. And you don’t have to do that.”

“Sooner they’re done, sooner we don’t have to worry about them.” Levi made quick work out of the few dishes, and just as he rinsed off the last pot, Eren checked the noodles and found them to be done. “Here, let me help with that.”

“Eh? It’s just getting them out of the hot water.” Eren turned the heat off then twisted the strainer lid onto the pot, but before he could lift it off of the heat, Levi was there to push him aside and take the pot over to the sink. “Ah, you know I can do something like that, right?” He didn’t know if he should be offended or upset just then.

Levi gave him a look as if he was being an idiot. “Don’t tempt fate.”

What the hell was that to mean? Eren huffed as he ran his right hand through his hair while Levi drained the water, then motioned for the asshole to pour out the noodles into the waiting dish. “What, you going to come over to butter my toast in the morning, too?”

“If need be, yeah.” Levi continued to give him that ‘idiot’ look while Eren added the stroganoff to the dish.

“Just… bring the damn wine and glasses to the table, okay?” Eren shook his head as he picked up the bowl – he was surprised that Levi was allowing him to do that much – and carried it over to the table.

He thought he heard something along the lines of ‘little shit’, but Levi did as he’d been told, and then they were sitting down to eat. Levi topped off their glasses again, then indicated for Eren to fill up his bowl before he did his own. “This really smells good.”

His mood mostly restored by the compliment, Eren smiled and reached for a slice of the bread he’d picked up from one of the local bakeries that specialized in bread products. “Let’s hope it turned out good, too.

“Don’t see why it wouldn’t, considering you have the entire office addicted to those damn pastries.” Levi appeared a bit disgruntled as he grabbed a slice of thick, sour dough bread and spread butter on it before he ladled some stroganoff into his bowl. Once that was done, he waited for Eren to do the same before he tried a bite. “Huh, your mother’s recipe? It’s delicious.”

“Thanks.” Eren smiled as he thought about the afternoons he’d hung out with her at her busy café when he’d been a kid, and how Armin and Mikasa had joined him when they didn’t have practice. “I think that if I hadn’t wanted to go into psychology, I wouldn’t mind being a chef and opening my own shop. It’s a lot of work, but my mom loves her business, how she gets to try new things and interact with people.”

Levi nodded as if to show how he was following along. “Yeah, my mom busted her ass to get to where she is, managing the hotel where she started out in cleaning rooms.” He paused to take another bite. “Bet your dad’s happy, though, about you being a shrink.”

“Eh?” Eren gave that question a little thought. “I think he’d be really happy if I went into med school for psychiatry, but I think he’s just pleased I found a major I enjoy and am doing all right. They want me to be able to support myself, but there’s no point in me being miserable while I’m doing it.” Eren had to grin as he stabbed at a sauce-covered noodle. “And my mom always reminds my dad about my one cousin on his side, who has three degrees and currently lives off of his father’s support while printing out rather weird greeting cards as his latest ‘business venture’ instead of doing anything with those fancy degrees.”

“What the hell is wrong with you rich shitstains?” Levi muttered before taking a sip of the very nice wine – Eren needed to save the bottle. “Well, not *you*,” Levi added as if an afterthought.

“Gee, thanks.” Eren grinned to show he hadn’t been offended.

“But seriously, I was hacking-“

“Illegally,” Eren half-sang, just to get back a little, and laughed when he got part of a bread crust thrown at him.

“Shut it,” Levi warned with that ‘obey me or else’ voice that caused shivers to run up and down Eren’s spine while he also sat up straight in his chair and wanted to salute, dammit. “Yes, illegal hacking, thanks for the reminder, and Hange participated in all these crazy as fuck medical experiments which did her no damn favors because she was already completely fucked up beforehand, and Erwin was the TA and RA from hell, just so we could make ends meet.” Levi frowned into his bowl before he took another bite, which seemed to help his lousy mood. “Maybe I should have gone into teaching instead, so I could flunk their rich asses.”

The thought of it made Eren laugh. “You’d be such a righteous terror.” He picked up his wine glass and smiled. “Students would bow their heads upon hearing the words ‘Professor Ackerman’ and weep for their GPA.”

“As it should be, brat, as it should be.” Levi stretched one of his feet beneath the table to give him a gentle kick on the left shin before his demeanor once more shifted to something serious. “Still, despite some over-privileged idiots, this world is a lot better than… well, you know.”

Yes, Eren did know, and he agreed; not only was there the fact that *this* Levi was… well, this world was more peaceful, more resourceful, was just… was just better. “Think we deserved it after all that.”

Levi’s expression grew intent as he stared across the table at Eren. “Yeah, I think we do.” He held his glass toward Eren. “To second chances, Brat.”

That… was a rather loaded toast, yet Eren found himself raising his own half-filled glass and clicking it against his ‘name’s. “To second chances, Captain.”

He could tell that the toast had pleased Levi from the quick twitch to the man’s thin lips; after a sip of the wine, Levi set it aside in favor for another bite of dinner.

Eren thought of something as he took a bite of the bread. “So, just how good of a hacker are you? Good enough to get into someone’s Facebook account?” He still owed Jean for all of the harassment he’d put up with for the outing last Friday.

*******

Now that the dishes were finished, Levi felt as if they could enjoy the rest of the night in peace. “There,” he insisted as he dried off his hands with the towel that Eren had used to dry the dishes before he put them away.

“You really didn’t have to do that, you know. You’re my guest, you don’t have to help clean up.” Eren looked on the verge of pouting, what with the way his lower lip jutted out and his brow was furrowed behind the strands of his overlong bangs.

“Like I was going to let you leave them in the sink all night,” Levi scoffed.

For a moment it seemed as if Eren would continue to argue, and then he shook his head. “Do you want any coffee or tea?”

“Nah, I’m still full from dinner, let’s wait a while.” Levi reached out to catch hold of his lover’s right wrist and tugged him toward the small – well, when compared to his own – living room. He liked Eren’s apartment, liked its bright, white walls with the small cheerful prints and the comfortable looking couch… liked how it was obvious that only one person lived in it. Liked how there wasn’t a pretty girl bearing Eren’s name hovering around in it tonight, even if Mikasa seemed more overprotective than jealous.

There was a laptop and a couple of textbooks stacked neatly on the glass table near the couch, probably from Eren studying earlier, and a pile of pillows on either end of the piece of furniture. Levi sank down into the soft cushions at one end, and almost smiled when Eren curled up near him. “You’re definitely spoiled to have a place all to yourself,” he teased.

Eren shrugged, a slight smile on his face to show he wasn’t bothered by the comment. “I don’t know about ‘spoiled’, since you haven’t heard one of my father’s lectures if I get a bad grade, or how my mother can lay on the guilt if she doesn’t think I’m taking care of myself. But I know I’m lucky.” For a moment his expression darkened and he reached for a pillow to clutch against his chest. “They were against me coming here – to Trost – because of the… well, the dreams.”

It took Levi to figure out what that meant – that Eren was talking about the dreams involving *him*. “You said that you started dreaming when you were really young, right?” His hands clenched into fists when Eren nodded. “And that they… they were bad.” They still couldn’t figure out why, other than that psychology shit Eren had come up with, that reaction whatever.

“Yeah.” Eren hugged onto the green pillow for a moment then sighed. “My parents felt better having me at home, in case I ran into you.” At Levi’s loud scoff, Eren narrowed his eyes and swung the pillow at Levi’s head, which of course was batted aside. “Look, all I had to go on was that you were a huge asshole with a nasty kick and a thing for locking me up, all right? We still don’t know why I was chained up that one time and you kicked the shit out of me, and don’t you *dare* say I poisoned someone or I will throw you out on your ass, understood?!” When his eyes flashed with anger like that he was so fucking gorgeous, so it was Levi’s turn to clutch the damn pillow before he did something stupid.

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi forced himself to glance aside as he clicked his tongue. “At least you know better now.”

“Mostly know better,” Eren muttered, only to sit up straight with a slightly panicked look on his face when Levi narrowed his eyes at the brat. “Ah! Suh-sir… dammit!” He glared at nothing in particular while he tugged on his hair, and Levi enjoyed a very small smirk at the automatic reaction. “Anyway,” Eren continued to mutter as if desperate to cover his slip, “my parents are a little overprotective because of the whole dreaming thing and the first boyfriend didn’t help.” He waved his right hand about in a dismissive manner.

“Wait, back up there.” Levi set the pillow aside and caught at Eren’s flapping hand. “What about your first boyfriend?”

“Oh, that.” Now Eren was frowning, especially when he couldn’t tug his hand free from Levi’s grasp. “He was an asshole.”

That wasn’t a good enough of an answer; Levi was beginning to understand why Mikasa was so overprotective now. “Define ‘asshole’,” he insisted as he held onto his lover’s hand.

Eren appeared to study him for a couple of seconds before figuring out that Levi wasn’t going to let this drop then sighed in a weary manner. “He was a kid back in high school – he was a junior and I was a sophomore. I thought he was like me – well, I thought he had a name that wasn’t….” Eren ducked his head and chewed at his lip for a moment while his fingers curled around Levi’s. “He didn’t seem to have a name waiting for him, okay? So I figured ‘eh, why not’ when he asked me out, it wasn’t like I was messing anything up, it was nice to be with someone and he was cute.” A hint of pink reddened the golden skin of Eren’s cheeks. “And it was nice, at least for the first month or two, except after that nothing I did seemed to make him happy and he became really insulting. Which confused the hell out of me, so one day I stopped letting him dump on me and yelled back, and he slapped me so hard he split my lip and chipped a tooth.”

It took a moment for Levi to realize the roiling sensation inside of him was rage, that he wanted nothing more than to find out who the hell the asshat was who had dared to *touch* his lover like that and tear him apart a fucking inch at a time. “What. The. *Hell*.”

Eren shook his head and tugged on their conjoined hands. “Hey! Relax! I punched him in the stomach hard enough to make him lose his lunch and told him to fuck off. There was no way I was sticking around for any more abuse. But still, my parents found out about it and freaked out.”

That wasn’t good enough. “His name,” Levi insisted. “I want his name.” Once he had that, it wouldn’t take long to find his social security number and bank accounts, and then the *fun* could really begin.

“Oh no, I *know* that look.” Eren once more attempted to tug his hand free. “If you’re thinking of starting any shit, you’re a few years too late, okay? Because not long after I broke up with the guy, he ‘mysteriously’ ended up falling down a flight of stairs and ending up in the hospital for about a month… and he damn near shits his pants if he runs across Mikasa to this day.” Eren huffed when he realized that Levi wasn’t letting go. “So thank her for taking care of it, even if there was *nothing* to take care of, all right?”

“Huh, I guess I will.” Maybe Levi would have to be a bit more patient with the girl, if she was willing to go to such lengths to look after Eren.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Eren closed his eyes as if praying for patience. “I’m not putting up with *two* of you!”

Levi gave the brat’s hand a squeeze before letting it go. “I don’t think you have a say in this.” When Eren opened his eyes to glare at him, Levi gave him a bland smile. “So, any other shitstain boyfriends *I* can push down the stairs?”

“I’ve seen my past life – well, a good bit of it – I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” Eren mumbled as he rubbed at his forehead. “No, I learned my lesson with Sam and was a bit pickier after that – and they knew what happened to him. Not that anyone’s bothered since high school.” He laughed a little at something. “You’ve seen it what they go through, you’ve gotten a little of the ‘Mikasa’ treatment.”

“Yeah, lucky me.” Levi grimaced, which earned him a nudge to his ribs from his lover.

“Now come on, your turn. Any asshole boyfriends, hmm?”

Levi shook his head. “Not really, I don’t think you could consider any of them ‘boyfriends’ since I really didn’t date them.” At Eren’s confused look, he shrugged. “I’ve been dreaming of you since I was fourteen, and I knew you were the one for me. I just didn’t know where you were or when I’d meet you, so I didn’t think it was fair to get involved with anyone else.”

There was a look of dawning realization on Eren’s face. “Levi… don’t tell me….”

“It wasn’t too bad,” Levi insisted. “There were other guys like me who were waiting for their ‘names’, so every now and then we’d hook up and….” He shrugged again. It had kept him from going crazy during college and when he got too stressed out from work, but all in all, it had been the equivalent of half a dozen or so ‘one night stands’ with just a couple of them lasting longer than one or two times. “It’s been a while since I even did that much.”

“Still, you’re what, almost thirty?” Eren looked as if he’d been told something heartbreaking just then, his eyes huge and shimmering as he tugged on the sleeves of Levi’s black shirt. “And you never really dated someone because you were waiting for me?”

Levi leaned over to stroke his fingers along Eren’s left cheek. “All I cared about was that you were out there somewhere, and that I could wait for you. I knew you were worth it.” He could feel Eren’s skin heat beneath his fingers and smiled. “Everyone else was just… they weren’t meaningless, but they just helped to speed up the time until I found you.”

Eren let out a shaky breath as he caught at Levi’s hand, at first his fingers harsh against it and then the touch gentled. “How can you say that? How can you be so certain about me?” His voice trembled and his expression… there was something desperate to it even as he leaned toward Levi as if for comfort.

“Because I *know* you.” When Eren shook his head, Levi caught his lover’s face between his hands. “No, I *do*. Maybe your dreams are messed up but mine aren’t, and I *know* you. I know the way your eyebrows narrow when you’re upset, the way your lips twitch when you’re amused but trying to hide it, how you duck your head when you’re caught out on something and how your ears turn red when you lie.” When Eren made a slight murmuring sound and attempted to shake his head free, Levi held on. “I know all that and more, know how you’re such a passionate little shit who won’t give up no matter what, so stubborn and wonderful and… I want all of that. Again. Forever. Fuck, don’t make me put this into words," he pleaded.

“Why you?” Eren breathed out as he bowed his head until their foreheads touched. “You… I… dammit.”

Levi was learning that with *this* Eren, ‘dammit’ was as good as ‘I surrender’ and smiled as he closed his eyes as well and bridged the slight space between them for a kiss. Eren was still for a moment, then let out a slight moan as he parted his lips, his hands moving from Levi’s so they could slide into Levi’s hair instead.

The kiss started out tentative at first, a slow brush of lips, and then before he knew it, Levi dragged Eren onto his lap so he could have *more*, so he could delve deeper into his lover’s mouth while his hands roamed beneath the loose sweatshirt; he had been so *good*, had held back for so long. A part of him worried that maybe he was moving too fast as he shoved his left hand down the back of Eren’s jeans to feel more of that wonderful skin he’d dreamed about, yet the answering buck of his lover’s hips while Eren’s mouth sucked on the left side of his neck hinted at maybe, just maybe, this hadn’t been a bad idea.

Still, his mind was filled with flashing images of a thousand other times he’d made out with Eren in their past life while his jeans felt way too fucking tight, so Levi grunted as he forced his hands to still. “Oi.” The word came out faint past a dry throat, so he forced himself to swallow and tried again. “Oi!”

Eren slowly pulled back, his gorgeous teal eyes blown with desire and darkened to an almost indigo color. “Eh?”

Levi took a deep breath before he spoke. “This… we just fooling around or what?” When Eren didn’t answer after a couple of seconds, he tried again. “I really wanna fuck.” Damn, that didn’t come out right. “I mean, I want you. It doesn’t have to be fucking, it can be anything, I just… shit.”

Still, it made Eren blink and then frown as if he got the point. “I hope so we do more than just fool around a little, because it was bad enough to jerk off in the bathroom last night with Mikasa asleep on the damn couch.”

“Oh.” *Oh*. Levi damn near dumped Eren on the floor in his haste to stand up. “So bedroom, yeah?” He wasn’t a teenager anymore to fuck around on the couch… well, unless there wasn’t any other option.

Eren grumbled as he straightened up then latched onto Levi’s left arm. “I’d ask if you’re always this bossy but I already know the answer.”

“So brilliant, you are,” Levi drawled as he followed Eren into the bedroom, which looked much the same as it had the last time he’d been there - mostly filled with a queen-sized bed decorated with a bright red and white duvet, a small nightstand packed with books, a tablet and a small lamp with a matching shade to the duvet, and a small dresser. A few more of the arty prints decorated the walls – probably chosen by Eren’s mother – and other than the disordered pillows on the bed, the place was clean and bright… almost too bright. A part of Levi’s mind wondered if Eren was attempting to make up for the large, drafty room back ‘then’.

Eren let go of Levi’s hand to lurch for the nightstand. “Ah, I should have something, they should still be good….” He pulled open the drawer and searched through it for a moment to pull out a bottle of lube and a couple of condoms. “Yes!” There was a nervous smile on his face as he turned to face Levi, one that faltered when Levi frowned in return.

“I told you that I haven’t been with anyone in a while, and you said-“ Levi found himself cut off as Eren tossed the stuff onto the bed then kissed him with a good bit of force.

“Look,” Eren insisted when they finally broke apart. “Just… don’t talk about that for now, okay? Save it for later. Right now is now – it’s *us*. Don’t… don’t kill the mood, please.”

Levi wasn’t sure how he’d been doing that, he was just pointing out that he should be clean, according to his recent medical exams and he trusted Eren, but okay, they could talk about it later. Sex now. Sex now would be very, *very* good, Levi thought as he was pushed onto the bed with Eren straddling his hips.

 “I wasn’t, you little shit,” Levi insisted as he grabbed onto the bottom of Eren’s Trost University sweatshirt so he could pull it over his lover’s head then wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist to switch their positions. “So quit bitching,” Levi murmured as he nuzzled the stretch of smooth, dusky skin of Eren’s neck.

The resulting shiver made him smile, as did the feel of Eren’s hands tugging on the hem of his shirt. “Ah- you’re a bah-stard,” Eren stuttered out while Levi sucked on that smooth skin, his lover’s pulse strong and frantic beneath his tongue. He rolled them both onto their sides so Eren could rid him of his tops, and then their hands fumbled at the zippers and buttons of the other’s jeans; Levi let out a hiss as Eren’s warm hand slipped inside his boxer-briefs to cup his growing erection. He closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the sensation after so *fucking* long before wiggling out of the rest of his clothes, then opened his eyes again so he could drink in the sight of Eren naked before him while reaching for the bottle of lube.

There was a slight dissonance of the ‘then’ and the ‘now; Eren lacked some of the muscles of his past self, and the ingrained bruises from the 3D maneuver gear. There was also the fact that Eren’s hair was slightly longer, his expression less haunted by constant loss. To judge from the way that Eren’s right hand traced along Levi’s body with a halting reverence, Levi would say that Eren had noticed a few differences as well, probably to do with the lack of scars and similar bruising. Yet despite the slight variances, when Levi skimmed his left hand along Eren’s ribs it provoked a sudden indrawn breath from his lover, and Eren’s eyes fluttered when his slick fingers gently tugged back the foreskin of Eren’s tumescent cock.

Just as Levi couldn’t help but groan when Eren’s nails traced around his left nipple nor his hips bucked forward when Eren’s leg hooked behind his calves. For all that this was the first time they had touched each other like this with these bodies, they still knew what to do and how to react, knew it as if it was ingrained into their very beings. Levi dragged Eren close with his left hand splayed against the small of his lover’s back even as his right hand wrapped around the both of their cocks, and his lips twitched at the gasped ‘Captain’ that was breathed against his forehead as a result. Eren’s right hand was buried in his hair, just above the undercut, while the other was clenched around Levi’s right, and their hips jerked in time as those hands stroked along their hard cocks. Levi hissed at the pleasure coiling inside of him, body tingling at every point Eren’s pressed against him, lungs gasping as each breath carried the hint of Eren’s scent to him – of sweat and musk and a hint of spices from cooking. He buried his face in the crook of his lover’s neck to breathe it in even deeper, to feel Eren’s frantic pulse beneath his lips again and hear the stammered ‘Captain’ as his hand squeezed gently while sliding along firm flesh.

So close… he was so fucking close, yet he had to drag Eren with him, had to experience watching his lover come undone before him one more time – for the *first* time. His grip tightened just a little more and the pace sped a little faster, while his left hand skimmed downward to so his fingers could tease along the crack of Eren’s ass.

“Ah! Cah-captain!” Eren tossed back his neck and arched his body, his hips thrust forward as his hand shifted from Levi’s hair to claw at his shoulders; he began to tremble against Levi, who gave his neck a slow lick before pulling back enough to look at him.

So fucking beautiful; no matter how many times Levi had dreamed it, it was nothing at all like seeing it with his own eyes – Eren’s flushed skin, those gorgeous eyes so dark and wide, mouth open and panting as Levi’s name slipped free. Levi bit his bottom lip in a desperate bid to stave off his own orgasm so he could enjoy the moment just a little longer, warmth spurting over his hand and Eren shaking against him as his lover came, and then he cried out at the burst of ecstasy smashing through him.

One thing the dreams seemed to leave out was how fucking good it was to lie in his lover’s arms afterwards; they always got ‘fuzzy’ after the ‘big moment’ or ended with Levi waking up, so here, in the present, he got to enjoy the feel of Eren holding on to him even if they both were sweaty and his hand was covered in cum and… yeah, give it another minute or two.

“Wow.” Eren sounded a bit out of breath. “That… that was new.”

“Hmm.” Levi shifted a little and realized that he must be lying on a condom. “What does that mean?” Was ‘new’ good or was it bad?

Eren laughed a little as he gave Levi’s forehead a kiss. “It means….” He smiled a little, the expression a little uncertain and too fucking gorgeous for Levi’s heart just then. “I think I like making new memories.”

“Oh.” That was good. Definitely good. “Well, I doubt we’re going to find a castle or huge fucking trees to replicate most of them, so yeah, new is good.”

His comment earned him a smack to his side, which in return resulted in a laughing Eren rolled onto his back with Levi straddling his hips. “You’re such an asshole,” Eren complained as he skimmed his hands along Levi’s sides, and paused to peel off the damn condom. “Oh yeah.” He held it up for a moment before tossing it aside.

Half-tempted to grab at the remaining one on the bed, Levi sighed and shook his head. “I’m not an asshole, I’m just pointing out our options for kinky sex is much more limited in this day and age.” It was probably best to consider himself lucky on what had happened just now and save the condoms for next time.

“Yeah, well maybe you’ll just have to put that big head of yours to work and figure out some new ideas,” Eren taunted.

Levi stared down at his lover for several seconds before leaning in until their lips almost touched. “Challenge accepted,” he murmured before stealing a quick kiss. “Now come on, we’re both filthy and need to wash off, then you owe me a cup of tea.” He tugged a complaining brat off the bed with his mostly clean left hand and headed toward the bathroom.

All he knew was that he should *definitely* be getting another date after tonight unless he managed to really put his foot in his mouth in the next hour or so, and Eren better use the really long pastries the next time he sent a box of dick donuts now that his memory had been refreshed.

*******

They were back in the forest, back in the trees with the sunlight so faint due to the thick foliage above that it was as if twilight hour, the light faint and shadows long and ominous. Levi was beside him, like always, and telling him to stay close. “I want you to listen and stick near me as we come to the clearing, okay? So far we haven’t seen any sign of the abnormals, but that doesn’t mean shit. I don’t want to take any chances with this plan being fucked up so don’t get any bright ideas in your head, okay?”

“Okay,” Eren told him as a sense of exhaustion wore at him, made him want to just sit down on the huge tree branch and do nothing; he rubbed at his face and then started as something felt weird with it. The skin didn’t feel smooth like normal, but striated, especially around his eyes. He blinked in surprise and lowered his right hand, only to frown when he noticed what appeared to be a fresh bite mark between his thumb and forefinger, overlaying the familiar scars. What was going on? Why did his left foot ache and feel so odd in the boot? Were… was he missing his toes?

Levi moving jerked him from his thoughts as his lover stepped forward. As Eren watched, the awful, tearing feeling that haunted him in so many dreams returned with a punishing intensity, which made him try to reach out to Levi.

“Good. Now come on.”

Eren attempted to reach out to his lover, to stop him, but before he could, there was the familiar faint pneumonic sound which heralded Levi’s ‘flight’, and the terrible sense of loss and foreboding burned through Eren even as his body followed. He should have been enjoying the sensation of flight, should have reveled at being at his lover’s - his *Captain’s* - back, yet as he twisted and swung through the air, something… *something* dashed through the trees, something his mind couldn’t grasp or comprehend and the dream seemed to ‘skip’ after its appearance. There was the blur of motion, the rush of sound, and the few things Eren could focus on seemed to center on Levi.

Levi screaming at him to stay back, to not… to not do *something*. To take care of himself, the self-sacrificing bastard.

Eren panted as he clung about halfway up on a huge tree, sweat and blood dripping onto his eyes. “Cap- Levi, let me *****! I can do it!” Do what?

“No, dammit!” Levi swung in front of… what was that blur? Was there two of them now? “You still haven’t recovered from the last time! ***** needs you able to ***** when we- fuck, they’re fast!” He barely managed to shoot off a wire to get out of the way of… of *something*. “I’m not risking you here!”

Yelling in frustration, Eren fired off a wire and went shooting through the air with his blades held at the ready, and managed to get a blow on one of… of something. He heard Levi curse him out and was about to come back around, when there was the sound of more 3D gear being fired and people calling out his and Levi’s names.

“Get him out of here!” Levi ordered, and the next thing Eren knew, someone knocked into him and they were surging forward, *away* from Levi and the others.

“Dammit, *no*!,” Eren called out.

“You heard the Captain, I’m not about to piss him off by disobeying,” the faceless person argued. “Besides, the Commander needs you right now.”

“No, no!” The agony nearly made Eren black out, made him want to hyperventilate, because he knew that this was wrong, was so *wrong*, and yet he couldn’t escape the dream, couldn’t wake up. Something kept him trapped in it as it skipped again, and instead of flying through the forest he was now standing outside of it, near a huge wall that was damaged with parts smoldering as if it had been set on fire, and another faceless figure took a cautious step toward him as if reluctant.

He couldn’t look away from what they held in their hands, even as the agony grew to excruciating heights, until all he wanted to do was throw back his head and shriek his throat raw in an effort to relieve himself of that awful pain. Yet all he did in the dream – the *nightmare* - was hold out his own trembling hands for the bloodstained cravat and winged patch.

“He….” The person choked as if from strong emotion. “Until the end, he… I’m so, so sorry. There were just – we never saw that many abnormals.” Another faceless person who stood behind them reached out to touch them on the shoulder, as if to offer comfort.

Eren clenched his hand around the items, the material still tacky from his lover’s blood. “His body?” His voice sounded wooden to his own ears despite the agony he felt.

The person shook their head. “Not, I mean, we brought back the little- oh god, I’m sorry.”

Eren nodded to show that he understood before he turned away to leave.

“Eren!” He continued on despite his name being called out. “He fought for you, you know. Those damn things were determined to follow you but he wouldn’t let that happen.”

“****! Why tell him something like that? It’s not going to change anything?”

“Eh, I thought he should know – it was like the Captain’s last wishes or something.”

“Such an idiot.”

Eren continued to ignore them as he clutched his dead lover’s belongings to the anguish-filled cavity of his chest, his suffering growing with each step until it consumed everything and-

And with a shuddering gasp he found himself awake, tears streaming down his face and his fingers clawing at his chest. For a moment he couldn’t think of anything except that Levi was dead, *dead* - the bastard had abandoned him and now Eren had to live the rest of his life without him. The pain was so intense that Eren bent forward and keened, the breath whistling out of him and new tears springing forth, until he realized that it was the *now*. That he wasn’t in *that* world anymore, that Levi was still alive.

Levi was still alive….

Levi, his Levi.

A new time, but nothing had changed, had it? Levi was still Levi. Was still enough to make Eren fall for him despite everything.

Levi.

Levi, so strong and determined to shield Eren from everything, even a pot of hot water.

Levi, who had broken Eren once already.

Levi, who had broken Eren with the delusion of keeping him safe.

Eren finally had his ‘why’, didn’t he? What was that saying, be careful what you wished for? Eren stifled a half-sob, half-laugh as he reached for his phone and called Mikasa.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Did you guess what all the fuss was about? Now what is Eren going to do... (yes, just a reminder, there will be a happy ending).
> 
> Thinking just a couple more chapters now, just have to see how long it takes to resolve the angst....
> 
> And hopefully not too many mistakes in this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting close to the end here! Hmm, maybe two chapters left? We shall see.... But in case it wasn't clear about the motive behind Eren's dreams, hopefully it'll be a little more clear in this chapter.
> 
> Once again, thanks so much for the kudos and the comments, they are truly appreciated!  
> *******

*******

Levi felt a muscle beneath his left eye begin to twitch when he opened the door to his apartment and found Erwin and Hange hanging out in the hallway. “What the hell makes you think I want to see your shitty asses right now?”

Hange all but bulldozed her way into the apartment as she waved takeout bags in front of her. “Ah come on, you didn’t text us last night to tell us how your date went, we had to come over!” She leered as she looked him up and down. “Are you glowing? I think you’re glowing! Erwin, our baby’s glo-ow!”

Erwin shoved her out of the way and held up a drink carrier in his left hand. “Chai for you, coffee for us, and those buckwheat crepe pancakes you adore.”

“Well, at least you know enough to bribe me,” Levi sniffed as he followed a pouting Hange to the kitchen. Once there, he checked the time on the microwave and decided that yeah, still too early to call Eren, who was probably sleeping in, and sighed as he pulled the phone tucked into the right pocket of his pajama bottoms to set it on top of the island.

Erwin and Hange joined him there, setting down the takeout before Erwin went to fetch some plates and silverware. “So, how did it go, hmmm?” Hange grabbed her coffee and waggled her eyebrows as she leaned onto the granite surface. “Was it good? It has to be good, that looks like a hickey on your neck!”

“What?” Levi frowned as he reached up to feel around his neck – he didn’t remember Eren leaving any marks on him, and groaned when he heard Hange laugh.

“Busted! So something happened where hickeys were possible, right?”

He swiped at her face, fingers just barely missing her glasses, before he reached for his chai tea. “For someone who has no interest in doing it, you sure like hearing about other people’s sex lives,” he complained.

She smiled even as Erwin shoved a stool over to her. “Hmm, but I like it when my friends are happy, and sex seems to make you happy. All the endorphins and blow jobs and slippy stuff, I guess.”

Erwin groaned as if in pain while Levi wondered – not for the first time – what it took to get a person committed against their will. “Do you mind? We’re about to eat.”

Hange blinked at Erwin a couple of times before she shook her head. “Whatever, don’t know why you guys are all freaked out about it when you’re the ones doing it.”

“I thought we had a rule about talking about bodily fluids and functions while trying to eat,” Erwin reminded her while he reached into one of the take-out bags to sort the food.

“Again, whatever.” Hange paused for a sip of coffee before snatching at her waffles. “Doesn’t mean that Levi can’t tell us how his date went, he’ll just have to give us the G-rated version.”

Figuring out that the best way to get her to shut up was to give in, Levi shook his head. “It went fine, you damn harpy. Eren cooked me dinner and didn’t try to poison me, the food was delicious, and….” Oh great, he was smiling, wasn’t he? Judging from the ridiculous grins on his friends’ faces, yeah, he was smiling. “It went well,” he mumbled as he focused his attention on opening the container of crepes. “Dammit, they stiffed me on the blueberries. Smith, you *suck*.

“No I don’t, they just put them in a separate container so your crepes didn’t get soggy.” Erwin handed over a small round container with a flourish. “So things are back on track? Everything’s good with you and Eren now?”

In the process of setting his crepes on a plate so he could eat like a civilized person and not a complete savage like Hange, who was busy shoving an unholy mix of waffles, syrup, whipped cream and some berry compote into her mouth as humanly possible straight from the Styrofoam container, Levi paused to consider the question. He was nervous to just say ‘yes’ as if to jinx things, but between dinner, a mutual jerk-off session and… no other way to call it but cuddling on the couch, he couldn’t see how Eren hated him anymore. If so, he could live with that kind of hate. “We’re definitely getting there,” he hedged as he scooped the blueberries over the crepes.

“Good.” Erwin nodded as if in approval as he cut into his veggie omelet. “So there shouldn’t be a need much longer to woo him with large orders of pastries each day – you can just stop by for your croissants and save my staff from their impending type two diabetes.”

“Noooo!” Hange wailed as she lunged forward to grab onto Erwin’s muscular left arm. “Don’t take away my crack! It’s what I live for!”

“Then you buy it with your own money and save me from the future lawsuits,” Erwin insisted. “And from Moblit complaining to me about how you eat nothing but junk food all day, as if I’m responsible for your diet.”

The lunatic stabbed a fork at her carb overload of a breakfast. “He worries too much, and a few treats aren’t going to hurt me.”

“Remind yourself of that fact when you start crashing from the sugar high, and he’s looking out for you. Unlike some people, he’s being a good ‘name’,” Levi snapped as he grabbed his tea; he truly did hope that Eren was over his reservations about their relationship, and he could work on moving his lover in here instead of that small apartment. The place wasn’t bad, but the parking lot had no security whatsoever, and any idiot with enough force and determination could break down the door to get in to Eren’s place.

Hunched over her food as if to protect it, Hange glared at Levi and Erwin for a couple of seconds. “Leave my goodies alone, just stuff your faces with your bland cardboard and then go work off all of that testosterone, you muscle-bound heathens.”

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t count on wallowing around on my couch,” Levi told her. “Go be lazy at your own place, or Moblit’s.”

“He’ll make me eat more rabbit food or try to get me to walk around the museum in a lame excuse to look at the new exhibits,” she whined. “Why am I so abused?”

Erwin held up a warning hand to Levi. “Don’t answer that, we don’t have the time,” he scolded. “Not if we want to get to the gym before it gets too crowded.”

Levi clicked his tongue while he cut into the last of his crepe with his fork. “Killjoy.” What was wrong with a little mental torture to go along with breakfast?

He snuck another glance at his phone to see if maybe Eren would be up yet and sighed when he figured that he had at least another half an hour before he could send a text. Dammit, how much longer until he could spend his breakfasts with his lover and not these crazy excuses of friends?

*******

Armin handed over the coffee carrier to Mikasa as he came through the door of Eren’s apartment so he could remove his messenger bag. “How is he?”

Mikasa shrugged, her expression worried and a little tired. “He’s sleeping right now, so let’s go into the kitchen.” She held the coffees in her left hand while her right rubbed at her chest, along where Eren’s name was etched into her skin; Armin wondered how early Eren had called her, since she was dressed in an overlarge plain blue sweatshirt bearing the logo of her parents’ studio over white leggings, and her hair was held back from her face in a soft black headband. Mikasa often dressed casual if she was going to work out, but she put more effort into her appearance than this.

He waited until they were seated at the small table and each had their drinks before he started talking, his voice pitched low even though he’d noticed that Eren’s bedroom door had been closed. “So what the- what is going on? Your text said something about *Levi*? Eren’s Levi? He’s really here?” And Mikasa wasn’t out running around with a… a saber or something in her hand?

She closed her eyes as she sipped at her double expresso latte before she nodded, and when she opened them the sense of weariness seemed to increase. “Yes, he’s here, and Eren’s been dating him.” When Armin almost choked and dropped his drink at that incredulous revelation, she sighed as she reached up to remove the headband then scrubbed at her hair as if she had a headache. “He’s Lenny.”

“Wait, what?” Armin winced at how loud that had come out. “Levi’s Lenny?” Oh he was going to *kill* Eren for that. “Eren lied to us? Why?” Then he huffed and shook his head. “No, don’t bother.”

“Yeah.” For a moment a smile flickered across Mikasa’s face as she twirled the headband around her right index finger before dropping it onto the table. “He said that Levi ran across him at the bakery a couple of weeks ago and… and that Levi wasn’t like the dreams made him out to be.” Her expression hardened for a few seconds before the exhaustion returned. “I wanted to smack him so much when I found out, to shake him and yell at him… but I’ve met the man and… he’s not like *him*,” she spat out. As if Armin had any doubt who that ‘him’ was, she shook her head and continued. “He’s not like that Anderson asshole, with the fake smile that made my skin crawl. I might have been on my guard around him, but Lenny – dammit, *Levi* didn’t set off any warning bells around me.”

Which was saying something, considering how on guard Mikasa was around all of Eren’s boyfriends after Sam, Armin thought as he rubbed at his eyes. “Okay, so Eren and Levi finally crossed paths and for some reason, Eren decided to date him while hiding that fact from us.” Which explained some of Eren’s odd behavior the last couple of weeks. “And now something’s happened, so I want to know why you’re here and not down at the police station helping Eren slap a restraining order on the guy’s ass or shoving him in front of a bus right now.” He gave his friend a flat look while he sipped his mocha and dared her to deny his assessment of the situation.

Mikasa tugged on a strand of her long bangs while she seemed to gather her thoughts. “Because… because Eren doesn’t want me to do either of those things,” which, okay, wasn’t too surprising to hear considering how ticked off he’d been over the whole ‘Sam go down stairs’ mess and the fact that he’d willingly dated *Levi*, “and I’m not sure Levi deserves it.”

Well, *that* was surprising as hell, and this time Armin did choke on his coffee. As he sputtered for a couple of seconds and Mikasa leaned over to pound on his back - *ouch*, what was she lifting these days? – he shook his head and attempted to make sense of this… this fucked up… whatever. Yeah, one could tell that Eren was involved.

Once Armin could breathe again, he got up to fetch a paper towel to dry his face and hands. “I have to admit, I’m a bit surprised to hear you say that about Levi – this is the guy who’s haunted Eren’s dreams for years. Why don’t you want him dead?”

Mikasa got up as well to clean off the table, then stood facing Eren’s bedroom. “Because Eren doesn’t.”

“That didn’t stop you from shoving Sam down the steps,” Armin just had to remind her.

She whirled around to face him, her dark brown eyes narrowed and hands clenched into fists. “He had it coming for hurting Eren. Levi….” She let out an explosive pulse of air and once more tugged on her hair. “He hasn’t hurt Eren yet, and that’s the problem! At least, not in *this* life.”

Armin had the feeling that he was missing something here. “Again, what’s going on? Why was Eren dating him and then all of a sudden calling you to tell you about it? What’s wrong with Eren?” He needed to know what was happening. “Eren – he was looking into his dreams. I should have known better, he told me about some case study last weekend but it was really him, now that I think about it.” He really should have known better when Eren had been evasive about sharing details of the ‘case’ and not bounding ideas off of him, like he usually did. Hadn’t it been about suppression or something along those lines?

Mikasa rubbed at her face as if she needed a nap as well then sat down, so Armin went to put on a pot of coffee. “He called me and he sounded so upset that I told him I’d be over right away – it was about four in the morning. When I got here, he was a wreck, I could tell that he’d been crying. It….” She paused to rub at her face again, and Armin suspected that some of the redness to her eyes wasn’t just from the lack of sleep. “He looked so *broken* just then that if I wasn’t afraid of leaving him alone, I would have run out to find Levi as soon as Eren told me about him. Then he went on about how the dreams had changed and how he’d begun to like Levi.”

Was it too early in the day to start drinking? “Wait, he said his dreams had changed? Changed how?”

“That they showed him and Levi as lovers.” Mikasa shrugged while she smiled a little at Armin’s astonished expression. “I know, I didn’t believe it at first, but Eren was so embarrassed when he brought it up. He said there were dreams of them… well, *those* types of dreams and dreams of them just getting along. It’s why he started meeting up with Levi, in order to figure out what was going on.” She went over to the fridge to fetch some eggs, probably to make breakfast.

“But, I didn’t think dreams could change like that,” Armin admitted. “No wonder Eren’s been so confused lately.” He rubbed at the name on his own chest and wondered… not now, focus on Eren. “So his mind has been suppressing the fact that Levi’s been his lover for all these years? But why the nightmares? Why make him think that Levi was a bad guy?” Then he remembered a little more about the past weekend. “Wait – he told me that he didn’t think it was a case of suppression.” What had Eren said it looked like?

Mikasa paused in her search for a frying pan to stare off at the bedroom once more. “Because Eren just found out this morning that Levi died in their past – he basically sacrificed himself for Eren and… well, I don’t think Eren ever recovered from it back then.” Her voice wavered at the end and she ducked her head as she buried her face in her hands.

“Oh sweetie.” Armin hurried over to hug her. “Are you all right?” he asked as he rubbed his hands along her back.

“Was I there back then? Could I do anything for him?” She attempted to sniff back the tears even as they streamed down her face. “It’s hurting him so much *now*, I can’t bear to think how it was then.” Her right hand was tucked beneath the long sleeve of the sweatshirt as she swiped it across her wet eyes. “Is this why I bear his name now? To be here for him?”

“You wear it because you care so much for him, and him for you,” Armin assured her. “And you’ll help him through this.” He hugged her to him until her sobs quieted down, his heart aching for his two best friends.

After a couple of minutes she pulled away, pale cheeks flushed and head ducked. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” He smiled while he picked up a damp paper towel from the table and handed it over. “It’s an old t-shirt and it’s laundry day.” The weak joke wrung a faint laugh from her.

“You need to find a girlfriend to take care of you,” Mikasa teased as she stepped away to throw out the paper towel and fetched another so she could blow her nose.

“I’m working on that,” Armin promised her, his right hand itching to rub just below his left collarbone, “but let’s focus on Eren right now. So he finally found out what his mind was hiding from him the whole time about Levi – it looks as if the trauma of Levi’s death affected him enough that his subconscious tried to ‘protect’ him, if you want to call it that, by trying to discourage Eren from seeking him out in this life. Except Levi found him instead, and Eren’s true feelings must have won through enough that the real memories surfaced.”

“Then what, his subconscious threw in his face the reason it was protecting him from Levi all along?” Mikasa set a pan on the stove then turned up the heat before she leaned against the counter to face Armin, her arms crossed against her chest. “If something inside of Eren wanted to keep him away from Levi, it’s done it now.”

That news startled Armin, considering how stubborn their friend could be. “Really? I mean, I know you said he’s a mess right now, but you also said he didn’t want you to go after Levi.”

Mikasa once again stared in the direction of the bedroom as if she was tempted to go to it. “No, he begged me not to when I was about to leave so I could… I don’t know, throw the guy beneath a bus like you said.” That wrung a quiet but wry laugh from Armin despite the seriousness of the situation. “Eren doesn’t want to see him again, but he doesn’t want him to be blamed for anything since it’s not really his fault.”

Armin could hear the words, but they didn’t make much sense. “All right, so I get why Eren’s upset, it’s not every day you find out that your subconscious has been messing up your life. And I get why he’s a wreck right now, when he learns that the love of his life,” he felt a little bad for saying that out loud when Mikasa hunched over a little upon hearing the words, but it seemed like it was the truth, “died for him. But I do *not* get why he’s… what, running away? Shoving Levi away, dammit?!” He slapped his hands against the wooden cabinets behind him as he all but yelled, and winced not so much from the pain but the furious look Mikasa gave him for the outburst.

“What’s gotten into you?” she hissed as she once more shot the bedroom a quick glance before scowling. “It took me forever to get him to rest! If you wake him up….” She left the threat hanging as she continued to give Armin a dirty look.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered; he didn’t want to upset Eren even if he could throttle his friend just then; classic displacement, his elective psychology courses and amateur research told him, a pathetic attempt to redirect the anger he felt at Annie refusing to have anything to do with him on a suddenly suitable target. Dammit, he couldn’t let his own situation affect him like this, not when Eren needed him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated after a couple of deep breaths, “but are you seriously telling me that he’s refusing to be in contact anymore with his ‘name’ because he’s afraid of what happened in a past life?” Yeah, that did indeed hit a little too close to home.

“Levi *died* for him.” Mikasa gave up on making breakfast and turned off the heat beneath the pan. “Which is also why I’m not shoving Levi in front of any speeding vehicles or down any flights of stairs, but maybe the guy should have thought for a moment what was going to happen to Eren afterwards before he decided to be stupidly heroic.” She shook her head as if to clear it. “Not going there. Anyway, Eren’s been with him long enough in *this* life to know that Levi hasn’t changed, and he… he can’t risk being abandoned again.”

Oh for crying out loud. “So Eren’s going to give up his chance of happiness on the *possibility* of something maybe happening to Levi one day? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” He wished he was in his own kitchen so he could throw something breakable without feeling guilty about it.

“I’m sure his father could tell you about all of the people he’s seen who’ve had their lives ruined by something ‘ridiculous’ or ‘insignificant’,” Mikasa pointed out as she looked ready to throw *him*.

It was a little difficult to argue about that, but Armin still thought Eren was giving in without his usual stubborn sense of ‘fight to the end’. “Just because something might happen doesn’t mean it will,” he mumbled as he went to fetch a couple of mugs to pour them both some coffee.

“Doesn’t mean it won’t, either.”

Hearing Eren’s voice all of a sudden, and hearing it sound so *defeated*, nearly made Armin drop the mugs; he spun around to find Mikasa wrapping her arms around their friend, who was dressed in a pair of green plaid pajama bottoms and a loose t-shirt. No wonder Mikasa was in full ‘mother-hen’ mode when Eren looked so terrible, with his hair matted against his skull and dark circles beneath his eyes as if he’d barely slept at all. “Hey, you want some coffee?” Armin offered as he did his best not to stare.

“Yeah, don’t think I’m gonna sleep anymore.” Eren patted Mikasa on the back to make her let go then slumped down in the nearest chair, his head held propped up by his left hand. “Tired of dreaming.”

Mikasa pulled another chair near him and stroked her hand over his hair. “Was it… are you all right?”

Eren must truly be tired because he allowed her the fussing. “I think it was a few months after… well, Levi was gone and it just felt like everywhere I went, everyone was watching me. No one would leave me alone, would give me any peace.” He sighed as he buried his face in his hands for a moment. “They needed me so they wouldn’t leave me alone,” he mumbled through his fingers.

Wouldn’t leave Eren alone to do something stupid, Armin was willing to bet. He was quiet as he fetched another mug and filled them all with coffee, then managed to get them over to the table. “So… Levi, huh?”

Eren didn’t bother to look up at the question or wait to fix the coffee, just grabbed one of the mugs and took a cautious sip before he grunted. “Yeah, Levi.” He sighed as he closed his eyes. “I’d introduce you, but that’s not going to happen now.”

Armin’s temper flared upon hearing that and he nearly slapped his hand onto the table, except Mikasa caught his attention and gave him a nasty glare. “And why the hell is that?” He got as close to Eren as he dared with Mikasa being so protective and waved his right hand about to snare his friend’s attention before he remembered that Eren had closed his eyes; maybe the sharp tone of his voice made Eren snap them open.

“Why is what?” Eren tried another sip of the coffee but winced, probably because of the heat.

“Why won’t I meet Levi?”

Eren sighed as he set the mug aside and ran his fingers through his hair before he rested his hands on the back of his neck; when Mikasa said Armin’s name in a warning tone, Eren shook his head. “No, it’s fine.” He sighed again as he peered up at Armin through his disheveled bangs. “Because that’s it – I’m done with Levi. I don’t want to see him again.”

“But why?” Armin realized he sounded frantic – hell, he *was* frantic, but maybe if he could figure out why the fuck Eren was shutting out someone who loved him, he could figure out Annie, too. “You should be ecstatic to find out that Levi isn’t one of *those* names! That you have someone who loves you! Why are you ruining two lives like this?”

One moment Eren was slumped over in the chair, and the next he was on his feet in front of Armin, his bright eyes all the more brilliant with emotion and his expression the angriest that Armin had ever seen it. “Because it *is* about lives, dammit!” He made a low sound of frustration while he yanked at his hair as if he needed to cause some sort of pain and decided to take it out on himself rather than Armin or Mikasa. “Because I already lived through Levi dying *once*, and the memories alone are so horrible that it makes me feel as if something has been ripped out of me, like I can barely breathe.” His right hand came up to press against the center of his chest as if to staunch some sort of wound. “And now?” A brittle laugh escaped him, harsh enough to make Armin cringe and Mikasa cry out Eren’s name. “He’s not any different! The other night he was willing to fight three guys who were harassing us. Part of him still thinks he’s the Captain, that he has to keep me safe at any cost.”

Some of the anger seemed to leave Eren as he let go of his hair and wrapped his left arm around his waist, as he folded in over himself. “I’m not going to let him sacrifice himself again,” he insisted as he stared at Armin with so much pain exposed on his face. “I’m not going to stand there as someone tells me what a brave fucking idiot he was for my sake. I can’t….” Eren closed his eyes while his entire body shuddered. “I can’t go through that again. So it ends now, and so what if I’m miserable, at least he’ll be alive.”

“I….” Armin didn’t know what to say to that, how to argue, and watched as Mikasa rushed forward to once more enfold Eren in a hug. He only hesitated for a second or two before he joined in, his arms tight around his two best friends. “You shouldn’t have to suffer,” he murmured as he bowed his head against Eren’s.

“It’ll get better,” Eren said after a minute or so, his voice mostly muffled by Mikasa’s shoulder. “I’ve got you two.”

“Yeah, you do,” Armin agreed.

“We’ll always be here for you,” Mikasa insisted, and there was what sounded to be a happy murmur from Eren in response. They continued with the group hug until someone’s stomach rumbled – Armin hoped it wasn’t his, but he’d had nothing but coffee since waking up.

Eren laughed a little as he shook himself free. “Okay, I get the hint.” He still appeared exhausted and haunted, but there was a faint smile on his face now and a glimmer in his eyes that didn’t have to do with tears or anger, so Armin figured that him and Mikasa being there was helping. Eren looked around and spied the carton of eggs out on the counter, and picked up his mug of coffee before heading over to the stove. “How do you want your eggs?”

“Over easy,” Mikasa said as she hurried to his side to help out.

“Over medium,” Armin called out as he figured he could set the table.

The whole Levi problem was far from solved and there was still Annie out there, doing her best to pretend that he didn’t exist, but for now, he was with his two best friends as they managed their way through this latest crisis together – they’d figure things out. Maybe in helping Eren, Armin could resolve his own ‘name’ issue and get the happiness he deserved – him and Annie.

*******

“What the fuck?”

Levi paced around in his living room while he stared at his phone; that was the third time he’d called Eren and it had rung only once then gone straight into voicemail, not to mention the seven text messages he’d sent with no response. This, from the brat who had no problem answering back before, in all caps and lots of profanity if Levi had pissed him off in some manner. Had Eren’s phone died? Was he sick? Couldn’t he have at least sent some sort of message to let Levi know? The timing was suspicious as *fuck*.

Things had gone so damn well last night; before Levi had gone home, Eren had said that he needed to do a few things like laundry and studying but he’d said that he’d talk to Levi. So why wasn’t he talking? Eren – either Eren – wasn’t the type to hold back if he had a problem with someone.

Should Levi go over there and check up on his lover? Would he look overbearing if he did and it turned out to be a case of Eren doing his laundry while his phone had powered off? Maybe Levi should call Erwin and see what his-

No, this was *his* relationship, so he would figure out the mess himself. His friends had already involved themselves way too fucking much, he could take it from here. Stalking toward the kitchen, Levi looked around for more bottles of the fancy wine that Erwin had told him to take to Eren’s last night – he could use it as an excuse to stop by today since his lover had enjoyed it so much. Could say something like he’d found another bottle while cleaning or some shit like that….

And maybe change the caller ID setting on his phone to see if a call went through then….

No, just grab the bottle of wine and go, he told himself. He almost headed to the bathroom to check his appearance, but he’d showered and changed after returning home from the gym so that would have to be good enough; he didn’t want it to look as if he’d put too much effort into the whole thing. After all, he was just stopping by while running an errand, or whatever shit he could get Eren to believe. Damn brat better be at home and having problems charging his phone or… or… fuck.

Levi’s nerves were shot the entire way there, and it didn’t help when he pulled into the lousy parking lot of Eren’s apartment building that he couldn’t look for a car which belonged to Eren because the brat didn’t own one. So he made his way inside the unsecure building and up to the third floor, bottle of wine clenched in his left hand, and felt his heart pound in his chest as he knocked on the door. He waited a few seconds, and when no one answered he knocked again.

Just when his hand fell down to his side and he debated if he should leave, the door opened. “Hey, Eren, I- oh, it’s you.” Levi attempted to hide his disappointment when he realized that it was Mikasa at the door and not his lover. “Where’s Eren?”

The girl gave him a flat look for a couple of seconds, the door only opened wide enough for him to see her face, and then she sighed as she opened it – but before he could step forward, she slid through the only slightly wider gap and into the hallway, then closed the door behind her.

“What the hell?” Levi had to step back to give her some space. “Where’s Eren?”

“Eren’s not receiving visitors right now,” Mikasa told him, her voice lower than normal as if she had a cold or something. She was dressed in a blue sweatshirt and leggings, and she looked tired for some reason. “It would be best if you just went home.”

So much for thinking that she was warming up to him; he clicked his tongue as he motioned to the door behind her. “Not happening, so move your ass so I can go inside and see my boyfriend.”

Mikasa gave out a weary sigh as if exhausted and rubbed at her forehead with her right hand. “I was hoping to avoid this, but okay, whatever.” When she dropped her hand, the look she gave Levi reminded him of when his mother had just found out about something he’d done and was fed up with his shit – it was a mixture of disappointment, annoyance and impatience. “Eren doesn’t want to see *you*, Levi.”

Thrown off by the weird look and hearing that Eren didn’t want to see him, it took a few seconds for him to realize just what all she’d said. “What do you mean he doesn’t want to- wait, *what*? You know about me?” He nearly dropped the bottle of wine as he stared at the girl in shock.

“Be quiet,” Mikasa hissed as she rubbed at the back of her neck. “Yes, I know about you, *now* at least.” Her dark eyes flashed with anger for a moment then she shook her head. “And it’s exactly like I said, Eren doesn’t want to see you, so do us a favor and just go away, all right? It’s been a long enough of a day as is, don’t add to it.”

What the fuck was going on here? None of this was making any sense – Eren had told Mikasa about him? And didn’t want to see him? “What the hell did you do to him?” He dropped the bottle of wine to the floor and took a threatening step forward. “He was fine last night, what did you say to him?”

He didn’t realize that he was shouting until someone from one of the other apartments next to Eren’s opened their door and stuck their head out, probably another university student from the looks of it. “Is there a problem?” the guy asked Mikasa, his brown eyes intent on her and a phone held in his dark-skinned hand.

“We’re fine,” Mikasa assured him. “He’s just taking some news a little hard.” She motioned to Levi as she spoke.

“Well, try to keep it down… unless you need some help.” The kid gave Levi a warning look before he closed the door.

The two of them were quiet for several seconds while Levi fought with the urge to shove Mikasa aside and prove to himself just how flimsy the door to Eren’s apartment truly was, and then Mikasa shook her head. “I didn’t do anything,” she told him as she bent down to pick up the wine bottle. “You’re the one responsible for this.”

“What the fuck?” Levi just managed to keep from shouting that, along with his hands at his side. “I would never hurt him! I-“ he trembled while he choked on telling *her* how much he loved Eren. “We were fine last night,” he settled on instead.

Mikasa was quiet as she observed him for a couple of seconds, the bottle still held in her arms. “All I’ll say is that Eren’s remembered everything, and you did hurt him in your past life.” The anger from before returned. “Which is why he’s acting this way now.”

“But that’s ridiculous! I’ve been dreaming about him for half my life and I haven’t seen anything like that,” Levi asserted. “I’d never hurt him,” he repeated with growing desperation. “I’d do anything to keep that from happening.”

Mikasa stood there with the wine bottle held in her hands, and for a moment Levi thought she was going to smash it into his face or something, there was a flash of such intense emotion across her pretty face, and then she shook her head. “And that’s the problem.”

“What the fuck?”

“Think about it,” she told him as she stepped back towards the door.

“Let me see Eren. This is bullshit, just let me see him and we can figure this out,” he all but pleaded.

“No.” When he began to argue, she held up an empty hand. “No, it’s for the best. Just give him some time to cool off, he always reacts first and then thinks about what he’s doing. If you’re serious about him, give him some time to calm down.”

“Of course I’m fucking serious about him,” Levi told the interfering pain in the ass. “Serious as fuck.”

“Then go home,” Mikasa ordered. “Because he won’t see you right now, and if you push, it’ll just prove him right.”

“God damn stubborn brats and their fucked up dreams. Dammit!” Levi wanted to hit something just then, wanted to punch something in the worst way, but could only stand there as Mikasa gave him what appeared to be a sympathetic smile then slipped back into Eren’s apartment. Even from where he stood, he could hear the locks slide into place, so yeah, no chance of following her unless he did break down the door, and the asswipe down the hall would be quick to call the police if by some chance Eren or Mikasa didn’t.

The worst part of it all? He knew Mikasa was talking the truth about Eren, about how he rushed to conclusions and needed time to see reason – he just never thought it would bite him on the ass like this.

Fucking shit, dammit.

He turned around to stomp back to his car, where it was a good thing he still had his gym bag because he was in a desperate need to pummel the shit out of a punching bag for the next hour. Once he more or less had some sort of control of his temper, he’d call Hange and Erwin so they could figure out what the hell he was going to do now.

There was no fucking way Eren could just shut him out of his life – not now. Not when Levi had gotten this far. Whatever the hell that dream had shown Eren had to be wrong. And if not… well, wasn’t the point of having a second life, a second chance was to set things right? Levi couldn’t do that if Eren didn’t give him that chance.

He’d do whatever he had to for it.

*******

“You look like shit.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Eren told Ymir as he slipped on his apron over his black t-shirt. “Really appreciate it.”

His friend stood a few feet away in front of the main oven with a worried expression on her face. “No, I really mean it – you look like utter shit. What are you doing here? Go home, Annie and I can open without you.”

“It’s….” No, it wasn’t okay, it was far from okay, so he shook his head before slipping on the white cap. “I’ll manage,” he assured her as he headed to the walk-in fridge. “I don’t want to go home.”

She didn’t say anything else just then, but she was waiting for him when he came out, arms full of ingredients, and snatched at the carton of eggs about to fall to the floor. “This have anything to do with that ‘name’ of yours.” When he glanced aside, she sighed and grabbed a box of yeast as well. “Do I get to kick his ass now?”

“No. Just… please leave it alone.” He’d come to work because he didn’t want to lie around in bed anymore thinking about Levi, about how things had *almost* worked out. Despite Mikasa’s insistence that he needed some rest, if he didn’t get up and go on with his life, he’d just hide away in his apartment forever so he was here, doing his best to move on… but he didn’t need constant reminders of what he was attempting to move on from. “I just want to work.”

Ymir shook her head while she began to measure out the milk for the yeast. “Whatever you say, just know I’m here if you need some ass-kicking done, and Krista will love to have someone to fuss over. At least with you, I know you won’t try to make a move on her while she does.”

Despite the aching pain in Eren’s chest, he had to smile a little at the way Ymir was glaring at the pot of milk as if it was offending her; so much of her world revolved around Krista, around making her lover happy and ensuring that no one tried to steal Krista away from her. Then he felt a pang of jealousy over their relationship and ducked his head as he focused on preparing the dough for the croi- dammit. “Ah, I think I’ll work on the cinnamon rolls and danishes this morning.”

“Okay.”

Things were quiet after that, with him and Ymir working hard to get the baking done before the shop opened; Shadis came in shortly after that and gave one look at Eren, then patted him on the shoulder and told him that it wouldn’t be a problem if he needed to ask for any days off to handle personal matters. It took Eren a few minutes to realize that his manager was probably offering him some time off to file a restraining order, which nearly caused him to drop the tray of rolls he was about to put into the oven; he didn’t want to mess up Levi’s life, not any more than he already had at least. Hopefully whatever Mikasa had told Levi last night had gotten through. Hopefully.

Eren had gotten another tray of cinnamon rolls in when Annie arrived for work, and once she got a good look at him she left off with tying her apron and grabbed hold of his left arm instead. “Come here,” she insisted as she dragged him toward the front of the shop with more strength than was evident in her petite form.

“Hey, I’m in the middle of, hey!” Eren held up his dough covered hands and sighed as he was hauled through the swinging door. “Good morning to you, too.”

“You look like shit.”

“Yeah, I’m hearing that a lot.” He grabbed several towels from the paper towel dispenser so he could wipe clean his hands. “Don’t know why that is.”

“Because you look like shit,” Annie repeated as she leaned against one of the empty coolers, her arms folded over her chest. “What happened? Last I talked to you, you were going out on a date with Levi. He try something or what?”

“No, he didn’t try ‘something’.” Eren closed his eyes as he wadded up the dirty towels in his right hand. “Everything went fine.”

Annie made a sound of disbelief. “Yeah, which is why you look as if you haven’t slept all weekend. *Something* happened.”

Unable to stop himself, Eren tossed the towels aside and shoved up his hat so he could rub at his forehead. “Yeah, something happened – I finally figured out why my brain was trying to get me to leave Levi the hell alone in the first place, just a few weeks too late to do me any good.”

The pissy look on Annie’s face slowly began to thaw until she was staring at him with pity. “Oh hell, really? You figured it out?” She made an arrested motion toward him as if she wanted to pat him or give him a hug or something.

“Yeah, I figured it out – more like remembered it.” He wiped his hand over his eyes before it dropped down at his side. “Bastard had to go and die on me, all macho-like, and I-“ He took a shuddering breath as he felt a prickle in his eyes and at the back of his throat. “I’m not doing this, I’m not letting him destroy me anymore,” he swore. “I’m not going to let it be my fault this time if he… if he- dammit!” He threw his cap to the floor then pressed his fists to his eyes in an effort to stem the tears that he refused to cry.

He started when he felt a gentle touch to his left shoulder then shuddered when Annie gave him a hug. “Hey, it’s okay, I understand. I understand and I’m so, so sorry.” She hugged him hard enough to make his ribs hurt, yet oddly enough the pain centered him, helped to clear his head and give him something else to focus on other than the hurt tearing him up inside. “I… I was actually hoping that it would work out for you, believe it or not,” she whispered into his chest.

“Yeah, well, maybe I should have gotten the number of that guy at the bar.” He laughed as he hugged her back, the sound pathetic to his own ears, but it helped to push back the tears still threatening to break free – he’d cried enough over Levi in his past life, he didn’t need to continue that habit in this one. “Maybe we can go on double dates or something.”

For a moment Annie was stiff in his arms, and then she pulled away enough to smile up at him. “Okay, maybe we should do that. Maybe it’s time for both of us to move on.”

Eren felt a stab of guilt at Annie taking his joke seriously, as if in some way he was betraying Armin, and then he realized that he couldn’t hold against Annie not wanting to meet Armin when he was cutting Levi out of his own life. “It should be interesting, seeing who we-“

“All right, not only is there a shit-ton of baking that needs to get done, but you, Jaeger, are skating on thin ice.” Ymir stood in the doorway and waved a rolling pin at the two of them. “You keep on hanging all over cute little blonde girls and I may have to rethink letting you around Krista.”

“Oh for crying out loud,” he snapped as Annie stepped away. “*Gay*,” he insisted as he bent over to pick up his cap. “Gay as in still only like guys. What, I can’t have girls as friends now?”

“Friends, yes. Hands near their ass while they hug you? That’s getting a bit shady.” Ymir leveled the rolling pin at him. “Me. Watching. You.” She gave him a warning look before turning away, the rolling pin held high like a scepter.

“And I’m using you as a case study, you pyscho!” Still, he was smiling as he followed her into the kitchen, especially once Annie saw how many dirty dishes there were in the sink and started yelling at Ymir.

*******

Levi sat in the parking lot of Rose Bakery and worked up the nerve to go inside; he knew that Mikasa had told him to give Eren some time, but the last two days had been like hell and he couldn’t wait any more without talking to his lover, without some sort of explanation. “It looks quiet now, I’m going to go in,” he told Hange.

“Okay, just do it like we talked about, don’t yell or anything, and do *not* accept anything anyone hands you if it looks like a piece of paper.”

“I know.” That was another thing – just how serious was Eren about ‘not seeing’ him again? The uncertainty of it all was eating at Levi, was driving him insane. “I won’t do anything stupid,” he… well, didn’t quite swear.

“Good luck,” Hange rushed out before he hung up, and then he powered off the car and got out before he lost his resolve. Funny, he’d come here so often the last few weeks, yet he’d never noticed all the cracks on the sidewalk before now, nor that there were empty flower boxes in front of the bakery.

He paused to take a deep breath before he opened the door, and was relieved to see that there were no other customers inside. Of course, that meant that Eren and the blonde girl, Annie, spotted him right away.

Eren looked as awful as Levi felt, with dark circles beneath his lovely eyes and his skin more sallow than sun-kissed. Something akin to pain flashed over his beautiful face and then his expression became closed off – Levi would rather have seen anger than Eren shutting down like that.

The girl, Annie, scowled at Levi before she turned toward Eren. “Eren? Should I get Shadis?”

“No, it’s fine,” Eren assured her. “Are you here for your usual order of donuts, sir?”

Hearing Eren refer to him like that, so cold and informal, made Levi want to yell and lash out at something, but Erwin and Hange had insisted that him losing control of his temper would just make the situation worse. As much as it hurt, he clenched his teeth and nodded. “Yeah, five dozen.” He stalked forward to the display coolers and fought the urge to reach over them to grab onto Eren. “So, you look like warmed-up shit. What’s the matter?”

In the process of preparing a box for the donuts, Eren fumbled with the cardboard upon hearing the question and shook his head. “I don’t… I’m fine,” he insisted as he opened the display case in front of him, but Levi noticed that as he reached for one of the apple fritters, that his hand was trembling.

“’Fine’ my ass. You didn’t even have the balls to tell me to my face that you were dumping me, you just blocked my phone and had Mikasa deal with me. Typical brat behavior,” he scoffed.

While Eren shook his head, Annie leaned over the counter and glared. “Back off, asshole. He said he doesn’t want anything to do with you, accept it before you leave here with a box of donuts shoved up your ass.”

Levi scoffed again as he glared back - *and* down – at her. “I’d like to see you try, princess.”

“It’ll be my pleas-“

“No, *no*.” Eren shoved the box of donuts he’d been putting together at Annie and leapt over the counter, his expression now one of anger. “There’s not going to be any fighting, all right!” He tossed his hat back at Annie while at the same time he shoved Levi toward the front door; Levi would be pissed off over the whole thing except Eren was touching him, was interacting with him. “Finish the order!” Eren barked out and then they were outside.

As soon as they got on the sidewalk, Eren seemed to realize what had happened and snatched his hands away from Levi, a slight blush on his cheeks as he looked aside. He took a step back from Levi and ran his right hand through his hair, appearing at a total loss of what to do next.

“Eren-“

“No!” That got a reaction out of Levi’s lover, but not one he’d been hoping for; Eren jerked away as if burnt then rushed toward the parking lot. “Come here, out of the way.”

Yeah, that didn’t sound good. Levi shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark grey suit as he followed, his attention focused on Eren; it looked as if his lover had barely slept the last couple of days, something that Levi was familiar with as well.

As soon as they reached the parking lot, Levi attempted to reach out to Eren once again, but Eren shook his head and stepped away. “No, it’s not like that,” Eren explained. “I just wanted to tell you to stop coming here and harassing my friends. I’m serious, Levi, stay away.” He didn’t sound angry just then, or spiteful, he just sounded exhausted, which made it so much worse. Levi could understand hate or anger, could work with them, but he couldn’t grasp why Eren was shutting him out like this for no *fucking* reason.

“Why?” he demanded to know. “Tell me why the fuck you’re doing this if you want me gone!” Despite his friends’ warning, his voice rose because of his confusion and pain. “Everything was going so well – Saturday was *perfect*. So why the fuck are you doing this?” He tried once more to touch Eren, his fingers just brushing against his lover’s warm face, and then Eren dodged away again.

“Why?” Eren gave a sort of half-laugh, half-sob as he shook his head. “Because I found out the truth!”

Mikasa had said something about that the other day, and Levi still couldn’t image what he’d done to deserve this. “Whatever it was, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “I’ll make up for it, I’ll do anything to-“

“That’s just it!” Now it was Eren’s turn to reach out to him, but just before his fingers connected with Levi’s chest, Eren snatched them away and held them against his own chest as if they’d been scalded. “I *know* you’ll do anything!” As Levi stood there confused from what the hell that meant, Eren shook his head again. “You died, you bastard! You ordered me taken away somewhere safe and you faced it on your own, and you didn’t run away when you could because you wanted to keep me safe! You fucking *died* for me.” Eren was screaming the words by that point, and tears started to run down his face. “You died, and you left me behind. You *left* me, Levi.”

“Oh god, Eren.” Levi felt as if something had stabbed him in the chest to see Eren cry like that, yet when he tried to go to his lover, to comfort him, Eren threw his hands up and *scowled*, the look so virulent, so heated, that Levi found himself stopped in an instant. “Eren… that… I’m sorry. But that – don’t do this to us because of the past,” he argued.

Eren continued to scowl at him for a few more seconds before he shook his head. “Answer this for me – if someone came up to us and pulled out a gun, what would you do? If you couldn’t take them down or knock it away.”

“Eren….”

“What would you do, Levi?” Eren gazed at him with those fucking big eyes of his shimmering with tears, and Levi felt another stab of pain. “Tell me the truth.”

Dammit, as if the brat didn’t know. “I’d shove you behind me in case he fired.”

Eren closed his eyes then rubbed at them, his shoulders slumped as if he had just lost a lot of energy. “Yeah, you would. Go away, Levi, and don’t come back.”

“For fuck’s sake, no one’s coming at us with a gun, you little shit!” Levi lunged forward to grab onto Eren’s arms and make his lover look at him. “You’re seriously ending things because of what I did in a past life?”

“Because you can’t stop being you,” Eren insisted as he shrugged against Levi’s hold. “Because it might not be a guy with a gun but a couple of teenagers picking a fight, or someone with road rage, or a thousand of other things.” For a moment Eren’s expression softened, and then it shut down once more. “I just know I won’t be the cause of you dying this time. Your death won’t be on my hands, and I won’t have to live with it and having lost you a second time.” Having said that, he managed to shake off Levi’s hands and stepped away.

Was the brat fucking insane or something? “You won’t have lost me because you fucking threw me away! Eren, don’t do this,” Levi pleaded. “What’s the point if we’re not together?”

Eren refused to look at him as he headed back to the bakery. “At least you’ll be alive. You’ll… you’ll find someone else. You’ll see.” He wiped at his eyes with the back of his right hand as he spoke, his voice quiet and unconvincing. “Goodbye.”

“I don’t want anyone else, you little shit!” Levi stomped after the crazy person that was his lover, but was intercepted after a few steps by the blonde girl, Annie. “Get out of my way,” he growled.

For once she didn’t appear all pissy as she held up the large bag of boxes pastries. “Look, Shadis knows you’re here so don’t go back in there. Just… just leave for now,” she warned.

He eyed her warily as he snatched at the bag of pastries. “Thought you’d love it if your boss threw my ass out on the street.”

“I’d even go so far as film it, but it’ll upset Eren,” she snapped, showing a hint of her usual bitchiness. “And right now, he’s upset enough, so take the damn donuts and go, okay?”

“Fine,” Levi grumbled as he fumbled for his wallet. “Let me just-“

“Don’t worry about it, pay next time,” Annie told him. “Just go.” She didn’t wait for an answer before she hurried to return to the bakery.

It wasn’t until Levi was back in his car and headed to work that he realized her telling him to pay next time meant that she thought there was a chance he’d be back and allowed in the bakery – at least, that’s how he chose to interpret it. As fucked up as his whole conversation with Eren had been, the revelation over what he’d done in the past life and why Eren had ended things… having that one ray of hope to cling to meant everything.

He’d make the damn brat see sense – they were meant to be together. It was just… him dying on Eren was going to take a lot more than fancy dinners and flowers as appeasements, he suspected. Fuck, Hange and Erwin better have some good ideas.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to hug them so much right now...
> 
> Though I have to wonder... Eren with his poisoning and Mikasa with her shoving down stairs and the like... Armin you have to step up your homicidal game, sweetie... no wonder Annie has her doubts.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... and another chapter. It's at the point where I just want to get it all written, the scenes are so fun (well, from my point of view). At least one more chapter to go - it depends on how long the next one takes, I may have to break it in two parts because I don't want people to wait too long for what'll be the big scenes. But yeah, hoping to have it out sometime this weekend. Already started on it, since the next chapter starts off right where this one ends....
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, they are greatly appreciated!

*******

Erwin entered Hange’s lab and immediately seemed to notice the bottle of vodka near Levi and the beaker half-filled with the liquor held in his hand. “I distinctly remember holding a meeting where we went over the work policies a few months ago, and how having any alcohol on the premises let alone drinking it is a clear violation,” he complained even as he loosened the buttons of his black suit coat so he could sit down at one of the stools around the work station.

Levi gave the busybody the finger with his empty hand while Hange waved aside the reminder as she finished shoving the rest of her precious éclair into her mouth. “Eh, I needed it for that experiment on the effects of alcohol on drug X89-C2’s absorption rates,” she explained once she was mostly done swallowing.

“And *I* need it because… fuck, I need it.” Levi rubbed at his forehead while he took another swallow. “Dock my fuckin’ pay if it makes you happy.”

Erwin regarded him for a few seconds before he shook his head. “No, but I will insist on giving you a ride home today.” He was quiet while Levi grunted in agreement. “So what happened? I just got the message to come here, and since you didn’t ask for Jan or anyone else from Legal, I assume it’s not because you were hit with a restraining order.” As he spoke, he reached out to poke at one of the boxes of donuts.

Mention of a restraining order made Levi laugh despite the lack of humor and set down the beaker for a minute. “Nah, might have been better if the brat had tried that.” Fuck, but maybe he should have something to eat to soak up the vodka. “Eren remembered everything,” he muttered and reached for a croissant.

“Hmm?” Erwin frowned as he pulled his phone out of the inner pocket of his coat then set it aside. “Wait, you mean he remembered something about your past together?”

Since Levi was busy attempting to choke down a bite of pastry, Hange stepped in to explain. “Yes, it seems Eren finally recalled what it was that was making him dream up weird shit about Levi in the first place.” She paused to give Levi a sympathetic look. “Levi sacrificed himself for Eren.”

Things were quiet for several seconds after that, and then Erwin sighed. “All right, I think I’m ready to break regulation 30.b as well.” He searched about on the table for another clean beaker – thank *fuck* for Moblit or the lab would be a disgusting mess, but Hange’s ‘name’ actually kept the place in pretty good order considering all of the machines and glass instruments and weird shit growing in the various tanks – which Erwin then filled with at least two shots worth of vodka. “By ‘sacrifice’ I take it you mean you died for him?” he asked Levi. “Or is there some other odd aspect of our past I should tell my father about involving ritual offerings of appeasement?”

“We certainly know Levi wasn’t a virgin martyr,” Hange snarked as she snuck another shitty pastry.

“Fuck off and die,” Levi told her before he answered Erwin’s question. “And no, no ritual offerings. From the little Eren did deign to tell me, I wouldn’t let him get hurt or captured or something and ended up dying as a result.” Bitterness washed through him at the mere memory of the conversation that morning with his lover, which caused him to give up on eating anything and take another swig of vodka. “So yeah, I die for him, he tells me to fuck off. Nice, eh?”

“But that… that’s ridiculous.” Erwin frowned into his own beaker for a moment before he drained about a third of it, too damn manly to even wince from the cheap shit Hange had on hand – did she distill it herself? Shit was one step up from pure alcohol…. “Now if you had killed a loved one of his, it would make more sense.”

“Oh fuck off and die, too, you shitty behemoth,” Levi muttered as he threw half a croissant at the bastard, which of course Erwin batted aside without so much as blinking an eye.

“But not over something like that,” Erwin continued, long used to Levi and Hange interrupting him.

Hange wiped her mouth with a cotton towel and shrugged. “Eh, maybe it’s not… okay it’s still ridiculous, but I sorta see where the poor kid’s coming from.” When she got a croissant remnant thrown at her, too, she bitched and threw it back at Levi. “Hey! I’m not saying he’s right, just that I sorta see why he’s thinking what he does. You know how I worried about Moblit when we first crossed paths, about him being stuck with me, with someone who… well, you know, the sex thing.” She shrugged again as she seemed to focus her attention on the box of donuts in front of her.

“I’d think you’d be worried about the insane thing,” Levi muttered as he fumbled for the bottle of vodka. “But yeah, you whined an’ shit about him bein’ stuck with your crazy ass.”

“Which was also ridiculous, since roughly a fourth of named pairs are platonic in some manner.” Erwin’s right hand twitched, as if to feel along his left collarbone, and not for the first time Levi wondered about the name his friend kept covered. Dammit, was the bottle empty?

“Yeah, yeah, I *know* all that.” Hange waved aside their reassurances. “I read all the books, looked up stuff online, and it still hit me when I found him. It took a lot of talking with *him* to calm me down, to have it sink in that he just wanted what we had in the past, someone to look after and spend his days with and see what new things we could discover *now*.”

Great, like that made Levi feel any better, hearing about another fucking happy pair. “So glad it worked out. Got any more vodka?” The sooner he passed out, the happier *he* would be.

“No, Hange has a point,” Erwin insisted as he grabbed onto Levi’s beaker and pulled it away. “This relates to you and Eren.”

“How?” Levi stumbled off of the stool and wavered on his feet while he glowered at his friend. “How the fuck can it when Eren won’t fucking talk to me!”

Erwin took a deep breath in and then let it out over a couple of seconds, like he did sometimes when dealing with idiots; if Levi had anything nearby at the moment he’d throw it at the bastard. Oh, wait - just before he could snatch at a box of donuts, Hange had to yank it away, dammit. “Because right now, I’m willing to bet that all Eren can think about is the past, about losing you. The two of you share names, and for you to feel so strongly about him, the same has to be true.”

Once again Levi felt a traitorous flare of hope. “Do you… do you really think that?” Dammit, why did he sound so pathetic?

“Oh hon, of course he does, or else he would never have stopped hating you,” Hange assured him. “He never would have started to remember the good dreams about you or invited you into his home. He wouldn’t be this upset over you *dying* if he didn’t care.”

“Yes.” Erwin nodded in agreement. “What all did he say?”

Levi rubbed at his head, his thoughts a little foggy because of the liquor. “He told me that he refused to be responsible for me dying again, or to live through it again. That he knew if something were to happen, I wouldn’t hesitate to do something stupid for him again… just… he wouldn’t listen to me or give me a chance to explain.” Dammit, that was the worst part of it all, that Eren up and decided everything and Levi had to suffer.

Erwin and Hange exchanged looks for a couple of seconds. “So yes, he’s definitely reacting to what happened in the past. That’s good.”

Levi stared at his friend for being a massive, sadistic idiot. “What the *fuck*? How is that *good*? Should I rip out my liver next or something?”

“Such a damn drama queen.”

Erwin was quick to throw up his massive arms between Levi and Hange before he could tear out her tongue for that comment. “What I *meant* was, he’s focusing on the *past*, dammit.” He shoved Levi back on his stool and handed Levi his beaker of vodka. “It may take a few days, but eventually it’ll catch up to him that he’s living in the present.”

When all Levi could do was stare at the unibrow idiot, Hange made a spitting sound and dug around in a drawer so she could fetch a new bottle of vodka and refill his beaker. “What the all-powerful one means is, sooner or later Eren will realize that as miserable he is over you dying on his ass, it’s nothing compared to him shutting you out of his life – like me thinking Moblit would do better without me. As much as I thought it was best to give him up, I realized that I was happier with him in my life… and him with me in his.”

“Huh.” Levi paused to take a big gulp of vodka while he thought about all of that. “Mikasa said to give him a few days – he always was a passionate little shit who reacted before he thought things through.”

Fortunately he had just swallowed before Erwin pounded on his back. “Exactly!” His friend beamed at Levi before he sank back on his own stool. “You just need a little patience. Eren’s too caught up in the memories of losing you what seems like right now in the past, and sooner or later it’ll sink in to him that he still has you in the present.”

It took a minute or two for Levi’s poor brain to catch up. “So what… he’s just overreacting?”

Hange handed him another croissant, the one box of donuts pushed a little closer. “You two are really made for each other, you do know that?”

“You shitty lunatic.”

“No, no, I mean that in a good way.” Hange held up her hands to prevent the pastry being shoved in her face. “You’re just so emotional- fuck!”

Erwin moved pretty fast for a huge bunch of muscles and eyebrows, and managed to get Hange out of Levi’s path of pastry destruction. “What she meant to say was, both of you tend to feel things in a very strong manner. You do have a more logical structure to your emotions, thank God, but I agree to your assessment about Eren being rather headstrong. Just give him a little time to cool down and then realize he’s completely miserable with the decision he’s made and *then* push your case, all right?”

Levi waved around the handful of donuts he’d managed to grab. “Fine, but I’m not going to wait forever. He better start feeling miserable soon.” No point in suffering alone.

Erwin eyed the grabbed pastries as if they were an armed weapon – someone sure did love their designer suits. “Considering your rather pathetic state, I’m willing to bet an additional two weeks’ vacation and a twenty thousand dollar bonus that he’ll feel the effects very soon.”

… huh, yeah, that was a very serious bet. Levi lowered his hand and began to look for a towel to clean up the mess. “You better be right.”

“I’m never wrong when it comes to profit,” Erwin reminded him.

Meanwhile, Hange tugged the remainder of that box of donuts to her and sniffed as if heartbroken. “Couldn’t you have destroyed company property or something, you fucking heathen?”

*******

Eren groaned when he noticed his father’s grinning face flash on his phone’s screen and picked it up. “Hi, Dad.”

“I’ve heard that you’re not feeling well. Do you have a fever? Any difficulty breathing or lingering lethargy?”

“Uhm, I’m tired. Just… really tired. There’s a lot of exams coming up and everyone’s stressed,” Eren tried to explain; at least it was his father and not his mother, who tended to have a sixth sense when he was lying. Or mostly lying. Whatever the hell was going on with him, just enough to get him into trouble.

“Well, you don’t sound very good. Are you taking any vitamins? Getting enough sleep?”

The question made Eren want to laugh – sleep, or more to be exact his dreams, were part of the issue in that any time he slept, he dreamt about Levi. He dreamt about the time when they were lovers or after Levi died, and he didn’t know which was worse. “I get what I can,” he hedged. “But a lot is going on.” Yeah, that was one hell of an understatement, and again he was grateful that it was his dad on the phone and not his mother.

“You know, I’ve got an old friend in Trost who went through pre-med with me, Amanda McGillis. I’m sure if I called her she’d be willing to see you on short notice.”

“Dad… the university has a really good clinic on campus, I’ll go there if it gets any worse.” The last thing Eren needed was to go see a friend of his dad’s and have the woman ask too many uncomfortable questions. “Just a couple more weeks and it’ll be spring break, and then I can rest. It’ll be fine.”

“Yes, but it’s still a couple of weeks away,” his father fretted. “Maybe you should come home then.”

“To an empty house? I’ll be fine – I have Mikasa and Armin here,” he reminded his father. “I’ll take some vitamins and eat healthy and everything else, I promise.”

His father made the humming sound he always did when he was worried and trying not to show it. “I’ll get a package out to you tomorrow – you think those gummy things are fine just because they taste nice. And eat some vegetables for once, it’ll do you some good!”

“I eat plenty of vegetables,” Eren grumbled. “Mom raised me better than that.”

“Hmph, well you don’t have to hear her complain each time we sit down to eat. Get some rest, and you can tell me about your classes next time I call. Take care of yourself, Son.”

Eren smiled at the evident concern in his father’s voice. “Thanks, Dad, you too.”

He stared down at his phone after the call ended, and found himself thumbing through the contacts for some reason; when he got to Levi’s, which he really should have deleted the other day, his thumb hovered over it as it to press against it and initiate a call. Swearing to himself as he slammed the phone down onto the table, he jerked both hands through his hair and used the pain as a way to center his thoughts.

It was for the best, he reminded himself. Stop thinking of Levi and let the man get on with his life, find someone else and live to a nice old age – something that hadn’t happened in the past because of Eren. No, this time, Eren wasn’t going to interfere, wasn’t going to mess things up. Dammit, so why did it hurt so much to do the right thing?

He moaned as he forced himself away from the table, away from his *phone* and got up to put on a pot of tea. All of this thinking about Levi wasn’t doing him any good, he needed to concentrate on something else, to do his homework and write up a couple of case studies – he hadn’t lied to his father about that part. Just lose himself in art history and abnormal psychology until he forgot all about Levi – “Dammit!”

Perhaps fixing himself some tea wasn’t a good idea, but he was tired and needed some caffeine, yet had a little too much coffee for the day. What should he do?

While debating if he should put on a pot of hot water or some coffee, he started when there was a knock on his door; for a moment he was torn between anxiousness and giddiness, and then actually smacked himself on the side of the head for daring to hope that it was Levi. “Get a fucking grip, Jaeger,” he snapped as he crept toward the door, and swore for not installing a peep hole so he could see who it was without answering.

Fortunately – and *no*, he was *not* disappointed – it turned out to be Armin. His friend held up a bag of take-out from the one taco place Eren liked near campus. “I got two shredded pork for you.” Armin’s smile faded when Eren gave him a blank look after he entered the apartment. “What, did you eat already?”

“Uhm, no, I didn’t.” He frowned as he rubbed at the back of his head. “Did we have plans?”

“Not really. Mikasa’s worried that you haven’t been eating so she asked me to stop by.” Armin continued on the way to the kitchen. “When’s the last time you ate?”

Eren actually had to stop to think about it. “Maybe… breakfast? Sasha made me have something at the bakery.” Something about him looking awful – he was *really* getting tired of hearing how he looked like shit, thank you – and chiding him into eating a couple of ‘defective’ donut holes.

Armin sighed as he set the bag onto the table. “Yeah, be thankful that it’s me and not Mikasa.” He gave Eren a disappointed look before going to fetch some plates. “If she didn’t have practice late tonight, she’d be here – as it was, she was ready to ditch a bit early until I swore to her that I’d make sure you were all right.”

“I’m not a kid, you know.” Eren glared at his friend for a few seconds before shaking his head then went over to the fridge to fetch something to drink. “I’m fine.” Why didn’t anyone believe him when he said that?

“No you’re not,” Armin argued. “You’re not eating, you’re barely sleeping – Greg told me that he saw you zoning out in Truman’s class.”

“It’s Statistics, and I’m doing fine in it.” Eren grabbed them both some bottled water and returned to the table. “Worry about yourself some more.”

“I will, once I get you squared away,” Armin insisted as he handed over Eren’s tacos and a side of refried beans as well. “You don’t get it, do you? We’re really worried about you!” His blue eyes were bright with a rare show of anger as he slammed his right first onto the table and jumped to his feet. “You look like you’re ready to pass out at any minute, you have to be lying to your parents because I talked to my mother earlier and she said they’re doing fine-“

“I’m not lying,” Eren muttered, “I’m just not telling the whole truth.”

“Which is that you’re being a stubborn ass regarding some poor guy who loves you!”

Hearing Levi mentioned like that made the pain in Eren’s chest flare up and his head hurt, so he shoved aside the food and stood up so he could glare back at Armin. “What the hell do you know about it, huh? You haven’t even meet Levi!”

Armin made an inarticulate sound halfway between a yell and shriek as he picked up one of his foil-wrapped tacos and looked as if he wanted to throw it at Eren. “Dammit, I know how it feels when your ‘name’ won’t have anything to do with you, all right? I know about *Annie*!” As if he hadn’t meant to say those words, his eyes went wide and his face pale, and the taco dropped onto the table in the suddenly quiet room with a loud ‘plop’. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck, fuck, *fuck*.” Eren tugged at his hair a couple of times before he left the table.

“Eren, I-“

“No, no talking right now,” Eren argued as he went over to fetch the bottle of wine which – dammit, don’t think about that right now. The bottle of wine. Get the bottle of wine. He grabbed it from the counter then fetched the corkscrew as well, and once it was opened, two tall glasses as well. “Drink first, then talk.” Dammit, he wished he had something a bit stronger but this would do for now. Though shouldn’t he have another bottle or two around here somewhere?

Back at the table, he poured them each about half the bottle then tapped his glass into Armin’s. “To my imminent death.”

“What?” Armin nearly dropped the glass. “I’m not going to kill you!”

“No, but Annie will.” At Armin’s incredulous look, Eren held up his left hand to stall any more conversation while he drained at least a third of the glass; the wine was just as good as he remembered it to be, and the pain intensified as he thought about sharing the other bottle with Levi. “Dammit,” he mumbled as he set the glass back down then rubbed at the center of his chest.

“Hmm, not bad.” Armin had a little more before he set down his glass as well. “And why will Annie kill you – I’m the one she wants nothing to do with.” He sounded more than a little bitter over that fact.

Eren sighed as he picked up the large glass of wine again but held off on having some more. “Because I promised her I wouldn’t tell you – oh, get in line,” he snapped at Armin’s dark look. “How did you find out?”

“Some friend you are,” Armin muttered as he picked up the smooshed taco and finally threw it at Eren, but without any real force. “I saw her picture on Connie’s Facebook page the other weekend, but I had my suspicions for a while now, after hearing you talk about her.”

Well, at least Eren knew that if he was going down, he was taking Connie with him. “Great.” He sighed before he had more wine. “So what are you going to do?”

It wasn’t often that Armin appeared so uncertain; he stared at the table for a few seconds before he shook his head and drained about another fourth of the wine before he answered the question. “I don’t know if there’s much I can do – I guess I’m a lot like Levi in that if I push, it’s only going to make things worse, right?” He gave Eren a flat look, which made Eren glance aside. “I barge into her life and I’m the asshole who doesn’t respect her wishes, so instead I sit here all miserable and hope that somehow… somehow she’ll get over whatever it is that makes her so afraid to give us a chance.”

Yeah, not sober enough to deal with this, Eren told himself as he took a few more swallows of wine. “But wha- what if she’s doing it to for your own good?” He held the glass clutched in his left hand while his right rubbed once more at his aching chest. “What if she just wants you to be happy?”

The look Armin was giving him made Eren want to melt beneath the table, it was one of such blatant disbelief. “Have you lost it? You honestly think that either Levi or I can be happy with someone else?” Armin buried his face in his hands for a couple of seconds then ran his hands through his hair as he groaned in frustration. “You're our fucking *names*, you moron! *You’re* our happiness! Why the hell do you think we bear your names? Why do you think we dream about you? Why the hell are you so damn stubborn, oh my fucking god?!” Armin fell back in his chair and finished off the last of his wine. “I don’t know which of you two I want to strangle more,” he muttered once it was all gone.

Meanwhile, Eren drank the last of his as well, then got up to see if he still had the bottle that Ymir had brought the last time she’d been over – it wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as Levi’s, but it sure as hell beat being halfway sober right now. “I just… I just can’t take the thought of him dying for me again,” he tried to explain as he searched through the cupboards. “It felt – no, it *feels* like someone’s shoved a sword in my chest, just thinking about it, and I’m supposed to risk it happening again?” He paused to take a deep, quivering breath and shook his head before he resumed looking in the lower cupboards. “If it’s going to hurt either way, what’s wrong with choosing the less awful pain?”

“Because you’re trading a very, *very* tiny chance of pain for a definite one.” Armin got up and went over to the cupboard where Eren kept the cleaning stuff, and after digging around for a few seconds pulled out the bottle of wine. “Ah, Mikasa didn’t want you to have too much alcohol around and hid it,” Armin explained as he snatched up the corkscrew and opened it.

Dammit, Eren knew he had more alcohol around then Le- the one bottle. “Whatever. And how can you be sure that-“

“No. *No*.” Armin threw the cork at him. “If I have to look up the damn crime and health statistics, I will, and who’s to say that *you* won’t die first, hmm?” He dodged the cork when Eren threw it back at him and returned to the table, where the bottle was set down with a very loud ‘thud’. “Ooh, maybe we should eat something.”

“More wine first.” Eren flopped down in his chair and held out his empty glass, and took another long swallow or two once it was full before he set it on the table with a pleased sigh. Then what Armin had said finally sunk in. “Wait, so if I die, then Levi-“

“You’re driving me crazy! Eat your damn taco!” Armin glared at him until he picked up one of his tacos, unwrapped it and took a tentative bite; sheesh, but his friend had been around Mikasa too long. “If you asked Levi, which, heh, you would have to *talk* to him first-“

“Bastard,” Eren muttered between bites.

“Shut up and eat,” Armin ordered while he glanced around as if looking for something else to throw, but seemed to realize that he needed to eat his own food instead of using it as projectile weapons. “What was I saying?”

“More like snarking.”

“Want me to call Mikasa?” Armin fetched his phone from his pocket and waved it in front of Eren, who suddenly found his taco to be the most delicious thing ever. “Yeah, I thought so. Oh, yeah, *talking* to your ‘name’, what a novel idea, right? Imagine people doing that!”

Someone was a bit heavy with the sarcasm, Eren thought but kept to himself as he washed down his dinner with more of the wine, which *sucked*. So did Ymir for giving him such cheap shit.

“Anyway, I’m sure if you *bothered* to talk to Levi, he wouldn’t be such an over-reacting drama queen about you dying before him.”

“What?” Eren dropped the last bite or two of his taco onto its wrapper and stared at his friend. “Levi wouldn’t care if I died?” Why did that hurt so much?

“Eh?” Armin blinked a few times then shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant! I’m just saying that he wouldn’t break things off with you because you *might* die first.” He poked at his smooshed taco then began to unwrap it. “I wouldn’t with Annie… I just want to be with her, whatever happens, be it good or bad.”

The little bit of appetite Eren had vanished as he gazed across the table at the evident suffering on one of his best friends’ face. “I… everything is all messed up. Why do we have to have these names? Why can’t we just meet like normal people and fall in love?”

“I don’t know, but we do have them, so there’s a reason for it. There’s something tying you an’ Levi together, an’ me an’ Annie.” Armin rubbed at the name hidden behind his dark blue jersey as he stared at Eren with something akin to shared misery. “So you can’t just ignore it an’ hope that what you feel for Levi goes away.”

“… dammit.” Eren drained the rest of the awful wine in his glass before he stood up, a bit wobbly on his feet, and put the rest of his food in the fridge except for the remains of the one taco, which he threw away. “Come on, we’re gonna… gonna watch somethin’ stupid an’ loud an’… just don’t wanna think right now.” All thinking did was lead back to Levi and how much things hurt and… yeah, no thinking.

“’kay.” Armin refilled his glass with wine before rising from the table, a bit unsteady on his feet as well. “Lead the way.”

Eren had the feeling that if Annie didn’t kill them in the next day or two, Mikasa would… but oh well, at least that would solve his Levi problem.

*******

“All right, now you *really* look like shit.”

“Ha! That’s what I told him. Loser got drunk during a school night.”

Eren sighed as he gave up on forming the croissants and glowered first at Annie and then at Ymir, who was busy smirking at the two of them while stirring a bowl of buttercream frosting. “Ymir, why don’t you go check and see if Shadis remembered to place that extra order of chocolate sprinkles thanks to the two gluttons.”

“Huh?” Ymir frowned for a second or two and then heaved a way too dramatic sigh while she set aside the bowl. “Oh, right, you need some ‘alone’ time.” She even used air quotes while she said it. “Whatever the hell you two are up to, get it out of your system fast, okay? It’s getting creepy.”

“Says the person who stalks her girlfriend’s classmates’ online accounts to make sure they’re not secretly in love with the poor girl,” Annie shot back as Ymir headed toward Shadis’ office.

“That’s not being creepy, that’s being proactive.” Ymir waved her right middle finger back at Annie before she disappeared from view.

“Why can’t you poison *her*,” Annie muttered as she rubbed at her temples as if she had a headache.

“Yeah, I’ll keep it in mind.” Eren might have to do it to get back in his friend’s good graces… did they have any peaches lying around? When did the foxglove start blooming again? Huh, was Shadis still smoking?

“So, what drove you to drink during the week?”

Annie’s question broke Eren from his thoughts, and he laughed a little when he realized that it was time to confess; he did a quick check to make sure the only knife lying around was out of her reach. “Ah, yeah, well, funny story that.” Well, not that funny. “Guess it was a shittier night than usual for me, and… well, Armin needed to vent so we broke out the wine. Too much wine.” Waking up that morning had been *hell*.

Mention of his friend and her ‘name’ made Annie tense up and her pale blue eyes narrow; she went still for a moment then very, *very* slowly began to take off the light grey hoodie she wore over her long-sleeved white t-shirt and blue yoga pants. “You got drunk with Armin.”

“Yeah.” Oh, this so wasn’t good. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about Levi anymore because Annie really would kill him.

“And what did Armin need to vent about?” Annie asked the question in a way too quiet voice, as if she was trying not to sound interested – which was better than yelling, considering Eren’s lingering headache, but a too quiet Annie usually meant a pissed-off Annie.

Time to just get it over with and accept his death. “Ah, well, he was really angry with me for being an idiot and you for ignoring him, basically.”

Eren counted to four before Annie reacted, and it was in a manner similar to Armin’s last night by slamming her hands onto the table covered with croissants and croissant dough. “You told him! Dammit, Eren, you promised me!”

“I didn’t tell him *anything*,” he shouted back. “He knew already! Kill Connie after you kill me, all right!” He reached over to grab onto her fists and gave them a squeeze. “He told me that he had his suspicions when I always mentioned your name, and then he saw your picture on Connie’s account. Sneaky bastard even went so far as to have a friend swing by the bakery to make sure that it was you I worked with, but he’s respecting your choice, all right?” Eren squeezed again, her hands balled so tight beneath his own that they had to hurt, then pulled away. “He’s miserable and furious with the both of us, I can’t remember how often he called us stubborn idiots during the night, but he’s not going to force you to change your mind.” A bitter laugh escaped from him as he picked up a stray piece of dough – Levi’s favorite pastry. “He’s too amazing for that, you know.”

“I know.” Annie’s voice sounded thick with tears, and her head was ducked with her blonde hair hanging down as if she wanted to hide her face. “I *know*. It’s… he’s too good for me! I fucked up so much last time, I didn’t listen to him when I should of… I don’t want to do it again! I don’t want to hurt us again.” Her entire body trembled as she lifted her head and wiped at a stray tear sliding down her pretty face with the left sleeve of her shirt. “You understand, don’t you?”

Eren dropped the scrap of dough and went around the table so he could hug her. “Yeah, I do… or at least I think I did.” He huffed as he closed his eyes and attempted to make sense of all the confused thoughts in his head and the ever-present aching pain in his chest. “I thought it would get better once I found out about the dreams and told Levi to go away, but it’s not. If anything… it just gets worse each day,” he finally admitted. Was it something that he just had to bear with for a little while longer and then one day he’d be through the worst of it? “It does get better, right?” He opened his eyes and pulled away from Annie with a hopeful smile on his face.

Only to find Annie staring down at the floor with her right hand pressed against the left side of her chest, right below her collarbone – against where Armin’s name was inked onto her skin. “It’s what’s for the best,” was all she said, but it came out as a weak whisper as if she didn’t believe it herself.

They both stood there for a few more seconds until one of the oven timers went off, which caused Annie to gasp in surprise. She shivered a little as if cold while she went over to pull out the turnovers, and Eren returned to the table to finish the croissants, his thoughts once more revolving around Levi.

******

“These just aren’t the same unless someone else gets them.” Hange stared at the éclair held in her hand with an almost mournful expression.

Meanwhile, Levi was half-tempted to slam the damn thing into the lunatic’s face, but Erwin must have figured out what he was thinking because the killjoy cleared his throat in a very loud manner and motioned for Levi to come over to his desk. “Are you certain about all of this? If he accepts it, you’ll have to go through with everything.”

The house wasn’t that big of a deal since Levi figured that they’d need something better than his apartment one day anyway, and he’d been saving up for one the last few years. As for the rest… he looked back at Hange. “How was he today?”

She set down the damn pastry – right on top of Erwin’s desk, *without* a napkin or paper towel or anything, Levi would have killed her – and fiddled with her glasses. “He wasn’t out front when I got there, but he must’ve been watching or something because he came out as that one blonde girl you hate so much-“

“I don’t hate her,” Levi grumbled as he itched to throw the éclair away.

“-was ringing me up. Something about restocking, but he stood around more than anything, and he looks just as bad as you do.” Hange pulled down her glasses as she eyed Levi in a critical manner for a couple of seconds. “Huh, yeah, just as bad. You know, are you sure you won’t let me take some blood and run a few tests? I could write a killer paper about ‘names’ and the toll on them when one of them-“

“For the last fucking time, *no*!” Levi gave her the finger before turning back to Erwin. “I’m going through with it.” It was one thing to know he was suffering, but Eren as well? The stubborn shit always did take things too far when it came to himself – well, for *everything*, but especially when it came to himself. Someone had to save Eren Jaeger from his stupid martyrdom, and the Fates apparently had designated Levi as that special someone.

Erwin shook his head as he worked on the draft. “I’ll send it before I leave today, and can only hope that he comes to his senses without requiring such drastic action on your part.”

“Yeah, but we talked about this – it’s going to take something impressive to get through to the stubborn idiot.” Levi stared at the words his friend was typing. “I have to show him I’m serious, since he won’t listen.”

Erwin was quiet as he typed another sentence. “I know he’s your ‘name’, but I hope he’s worth this.”

Levi thought about the dreams, about Eren’s smile and laugh, about lying on Eren’s bed last Saturday. “Yeah, he is.”

“Just like I make Moblit happy despite the mess and occasional explosions,” Hange added as she picked up the éclair.

“I really need to look into that mental health plan,” Erwin mumbled while he kept on typing.

*******

Mikasa looked at the movie she’d selected and then at Eren, who was seated on the floor near her while he typed on his laptop. “You sure it won’t bother you if I watch this?” She held up her tablet.

“No, I’m good. Sometimes Armin comes over here to get away from his neighbor.” Eren frowned at his laptop, which was set on the coffee table in front of him. “I think I may be sociopathic.”

“You’re just figuring that out?” She nudged her friend in the back of the head with the tablet before she started the film to load. “That’s okay, I still love you anyway.”

“Like you have any room to talk,” he grumbled, but she’d managed to get a slight smile from him; he still was barely eating and from the looks of it not sleeping enough, but maybe Armin’s talk with him the other day had helped a little – even if the idiots had gotten drunk. She’d spend the evening here to do what she could by way of distraction – without any alcohol involved - and keep coming back whenever she could until it seemed as if Eren was finally back on his feet. He *would* get back on his feet – even if she had to shove him back onto them herself.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m a perfectly well-adjusted member of society, unlike certain individuals who asked me to be a look-out while they broke into someone’s locker to booby-trap it with rotten eggs.”

“That was twelve years ago, and Marcelo had it coming to him because of how he was picking on Armin, dammit!” Eren threw his hands up in the air while he tilted his head back enough to glare at her. “You didn’t want me to beat him up, remember?”

“I didn’t want you to get suspended for being in another fight, but the eggs were pretty inventive.” She gave a shrug and noticed that her video had finished queuing. “Got us out of school for a day while they aired it out, and you weren’t caught.”

There was another flash of a half-smile. “And Marcelo couldn’t eat eggs for years afterwards.”

She gave a tug to a strand of his overlong bangs. “You shouldn’t delight in the misfortune of others, you know.”

“Eh, some assholes deserve it.” He ducked his head to avoid another tug, and something seemed to catch his eye on the screen in front of him; his expression changed, the slight bit of happiness fading away as his face went blank.

“What is it?” Mikasa set aside her tablet and sat up so she could look at Eren’s laptop.

“It’s an email from the company where… where Levi works.” He pointed to his inbox, where at the top was a new email; it stood out among the answered ones from her, Armin, Eren’s parents and a few others she assumed were his friends here in Trost.

“Erwin Smith at Survey Inc dot com?”

“That should be Levi’s friend and I think his boss.” Eren chewed on his bottom lip as his finger hovered over the ‘Enter’ button; Mikasa could tell he wanted to open it, but either nerves or stubborn pride held him back so she reached out and forced his hand downward.

“Hey!”

“I doubt it’s spam,” she told him, her face as blank as his had been moments before. “See why he’s sending you something.”

“It probably *is* spam, I’m going to lose everything on my hard drive and my parents are going to get emails with porn in it thanks to you,” Eren whined even as he began to read through the opened email.

Reminding herself that one had to humor idiots, Mikasa just barely restrained herself from smacking her ‘name’ and read along with him.

It was clear that whoever he was, that Erwin hadn’t been behind the email; Levi had probably thought that if Eren had blocked his phone number, that his email address might have been blocked, too. Mikasa didn’t know if her friend had done that, but Levi obviously didn’t believe in taking any chances. As it was, the letter wasn’t an angry or impassioned plea to Eren, it just stated with an almost cold precision what Levi was willing to do to get Eren back, with various documents attached.

Emotions flickered across Eren’s face as he opened them one at a time, blank at first as he read through the health file illustrating Levi’s rather thorough and impressive physical condition (he had a better BMI than Mikasa), to the list of gorgeous houses in the gated communities here in Trost, and a job description that had something to do with coding. There was even a document about several sedans and SUVs with very high safety ratings, and with each new document, Eren’s frown increased.

“So… am I to take it that this Levi has a nice income or what?” Mikasa leaned over to use the touchpad to pull up the house list. “I haven’t been here for very long yet even I know that Cedar Commons is one of the most exclusive housing communities around here – Coach Alex was saying how the university president lives there.” She waited for a response from Eren then sighed as she draped her arms over his shoulders. “What’s wrong? Are you upset that he sent you something?”

He shook his head as he wrapped his hands around her wrists. “No, it’s not that. It’s… whenever he talked about his job, I could tell that he loves it, and here he’s offering to take up a new position?” He motioned to the screen with his right hand for a moment before returning it to her wrist as if in need of some physical contact. “And his car, he loves it, too, he’s always parking it away from everything else and it’s like brand new and….” He shook his head again. “Why is he willing to give it all up?”

Mikasa hugged him against her while she spoke. “Because he’s smart enough to realize that none of that stuff means as much as you?” She’d give up anything, even her shot at the Olympic gold, if it meant Eren’s happiness. Of course he would be furious with her for doing just that, and the knowledge that he would sacrifice just as much for her in return even though he didn’t bear her name kept her going through the hard times.

She could feel the tremors that wracked Eren’s body and held on to him until they passed, her arms right around his chest, and it didn’t surprise her when – after she let him go – he reached out to delete the email. Somehow she had a feeling he wouldn’t answer Levi back, at least not to take him up on his offer. So while Eren sat on the floor and stared at the screen of his laptop, lost in thought as his right hand pressed against the center of his chest as if to fill a hole, she minimized the Netflix app and pulled up the chat one instead.

*******

Levi stared into his fridge and wondered if there was enough leftover Thai from the night before or if he should just go back out and pick up something for dinner; he’d planned on stopping for food along the way home from work, but Erwin had gotten on him about looking like death warmed over and insisted upon him leaving early for once, and it had thrown off his entire schedule. Busybody friends and… well, busybody friends. Next thing he knew, his mother would probably be calling him to make sure he was still alive since Erwin had ratted him out to her, not like Levi hadn’t spoken to her last night. If Uncle Kenny showed up at his door, Levi was going to kick some serious ass….

As if the Fates had been tempted, there was the doorbell ringing to go along with that thought; Levi was shocked still for a moment as the image of Uncle Kenny looming in his doorway with a bouquet of ‘get well’ flowers in one hand while the other reached out to slap him silly filled his mind. “Oh now this is getting abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous,” he spat as he stomped his way to the door, which he all but threw open once he unlocked it. “What the *fuck* are you - *what*?” He stared in shock to see Mikasa of all people on the other side – that was almost as much of a surprise as Uncle Kenny. “What are you doing here? Finally come to throw me down the stairs?”

She sighed while rolling her eyes in a dramatic manner then motioned at him. “I can if you insist, but I’d rather talk.” When he just stood there, she motioned again. “Inside the apartment, for once.”

“Oh. Shit. Yeah.” He jerked aside to let her in, confused as hell over what was going on. “Why the fuck are you here? Is something wrong with Eren?” Why else would she be here? What could have happened to his lover?

“Other than he’s being an idiot, no, he’s… well, he’s okay. Mostly okay.” She unzipped the lightweight red jacket she was wearing while she glanced around the place, and Levi was proud to note the slight hint of approval he caught on her mostly impassive face. “Looks about as well as you do, if that’s any indication.”

Levi rubbed at his face as he grimaced; yeah, he knew he was quite the sight these days, with the usual dark circles under his eyes about twice their normal size and ‘washed out’ a nice way of saying he looked like someone two days dead. “I thought you were supposed to be watching out for him.”

There was a spark of anger in those dark eyes of hers as she took off the jacket and draped it over her left arm; it looked as if she’d come from the gym or something, in tight black workout pants and layered tank tops which showed of some damn impressive arms and shoulders – and *Eren’s* name across the left side of her upper chest. Just seeing it made Levi’s temper flare as well. “I am, which is why I’m here.”

“Just how the hell are you here? I never told the brat where I live.”

“No, but you gave him your boss’ email address, and he’s a very nice fellow.” A slight smile graced Mikasa’s beautiful face. “Very cooperative, too.”

Fuck, it was starting to come together, why Erwin had insisted on Levi leaving work early and going home to rest. “He’s a traitor, is what he is.”

The smile faded away. “I told him I needed to talk to you.” Mikasa tucked back her chin-length black hair and let out a slow breath. “Look, I’m not here to fight but to talk about Eren – he’s being stubborn about the whole thing and it’s hurting him.” Her eyes narrowed as she seemed to consider Levi. “It’s hurting you, too.”

Levi slashed his right hand through the air. “Don’t worry about me, go back to Eren. How is it hurting him?” What was that stubborn little shit doing? Maybe Levi had been wrong to listen to Mikasa and Erwin and Hange, to give Eren some space. Maybe he should have-

“Were you serious about your offer? Would you give this all up just to try to placate Eren and his fears?” She gestured to the apartment while she continued to stare at Levi as if he had some weird shit on his face.

“Hell yes, if it makes him feel better. It doesn’t matter where we live or what I do, as long as I have Eren.” Why couldn’t the idiot see that?

“Okay.” Mikasa nodded as she reached into her jacket to pull her phone out of a pocket. “It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.” She then began to tap on the phone, while Levi attempted to figure out what the fuck was going on here.

“Wait, so you come here, tell me Eren’s all fucked up, ask me a weird question and then start texting with someone?” If Eren was all pissed off with him, might as well go for broke by throttling the girl, right? How much more shit could he be in right now? “Your ass is so going out of here now.” Levi took a step forward when his doorbell rang again.

Mikasa gave him a slight smirk while she nodded in the direction of the door. “I don’t think so, and you’ll want to answer that.”

“What the *fuck*.” Levi felt the beginnings of a nasty headache. “If this is that other friend of yours, the genius, I’m kicking both of your asses.”

“Hmm, not quite. I’d hurry, you don’t want to make a bad impression.” The smirk went up a notch.

Oh yeah, definitely some throttling about to go on, Levi could even feel his hands start to twitch with the urge to wrap around the girl’s throat. Still, answer the door, then choke. He went to the door and threw it open a second time in the span of several minutes and….

At first he thought it was Eren on the other side after catching a glimpse of golden-toned skin and chocolate colored hair. Then he realized that the eyes assessing him weren’t cool teal but a warm shade of brown, and while the shape of the face was similar that the features were a little softer, were feminine…. “Shit, you’re his mother.” What was her name – ah yeah, Carla… Carla Jaeger. “Carla, you’re Carla.”

“Yes, I am.” She folded her arms over her chest, and even though she appeared like a lovely middle-aged woman dressed in a lightweight grey trench-coat, something in her demeanor made Levi straighten his spine and take a hasty step backwards. “Now, Mr. Ackerman, are you going to invite me in or what?” Something flashed in those warm brown eyes of hers, was set in that delicate jaw, which made him catch his breath because he recognized them as warning signs from his own lover. “We have much to talk about.”

Oh shit.

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa upped her game from just throwing people down the stairs. Get real, this is the major leagues here.
> 
> (not that I know anything about sports....)
> 
> And wow, poor Eren, he took some hits, didn't he? *huggles the poor confused boy* Now get your head on straight and go comfort Levi....


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, a lot of people seemed happy to see mama Carla! Ca only hope that this chapter makes them equally happy. Should be one more to go after this one, hope to wrap up the loose ends in it. We shall see. But for now....
> 
> And thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, they are truly appreciated!

*******

Levi paid scant attention to the tea he was making, barely enough to ensure that the mugs were rinsed with hot water and the teabags went into them, followed by more hot water. He was more interested in the two women – well, just the one, really – who were wandering around his living room at the moment. Fuck, but Eren’s mother was out there – Eren’s *mother*. The woman who hadn’t wanted Eren to come to Trost because of *Levi*. The woman who only knew about Levi as the monster who had haunted her child’s dreams. Had Mikasa invited her here to ensure that he had nothing to do with Eren ever again?

While he set the mugs on a tray along with a container of sugar and a caddy of milk – thank fuck for his mother and her sending him shit like this as presents - Carla picked up one of the few pictures scattered about the large room and held it up. “Are these your parents?”

She was holding up a photo taken around the time Levi had graduated from university, with his mother beaming with joy as she hugged him and even Uncle Kenny cracking a bit of a smile as he loomed behind them.

“That’s my mom and my uncle.” Levi hesitated as he set the tray down in the large glass coffee table. “Don’t know my dad at all since he was never around.”

“I see.” Carla regarded the picture for a moment before she set it back down, in the exact spot where she’d picked it up from. “Well, some people are assholes, but your mother is lovely, and you and your uncle have similar eyes.” Then she seemed to think about something for a moment. “Well, the shape and all, I mean.” She stared at Levi as she accepted the mug of tea he handed her. “Yours seem a little warmer than his.”

He… didn’t know what to make of this woman, honest to fuck. “Ah, thank you. A lot of people mistake him for my dad, which isn’t a bad thing.” Uncle Kenny might be a grumpy-ass bastard, but he stood by family. “I’m sure everyone tells you that Eren looks a lot like you.”

Mikasa gave a slight chuckle as she toyed with the teabag in her mug. “If you want to get a reaction out of him, bring it up one day.”

Instead of being insulted, Carla laughed as well. “I think he got tired of all the women pinching his cheeks and telling him how pretty he’d be if he was born a girl - that and mistaking him for one when he was really little. He was even teased about it in pre-school.”

“Hmm, him and Armin.”

“Yes. I sometimes wonder if that’s why he started to get into so many fights, all that teasing.” Carla shook her head while she removed the teabag from her mug and set it on the spare plate.

Levi clicked his tongue while he did the same. “That and he’s a hot-tempered little shit.” Then he remembered that this was Eren’s mother and felt like slapping himself. “Uhm, ma’am.” Oops.

Still, Carla appeared almost amused while she regarded him for a few anxious seconds. “Yes, he is rather impetuous. What about you, Mr. Ackerman?”

He frowned as he went over to the couch, then remembered about his mom’s lectures on manners and didn’t sit since Carla and Mikasa were still standing. “It’s Levi, and please, sit down.”

Carla nodded and went over to the loveseat, where Mikasa joined her, but still continued to regard Levi with a cool gaze. “I’ll stick with Mr. Ackerman for now – ‘Levi’ is the name of the man who tormented my only child for years, whose presence my husband and I came to dread and loathe.” Something dark crossed over her lovely face as she met his eyes, and he could tell it took some effort for her to push it away. “’Ackerman’ is a name that has much better connotations.” She managed a smile when Mikasa reached out with her free hand to give Carla’s left hand a gentle squeeze.

Despite the heat of the beverage, Levi took a quick sip of his still black tea then set it aside. “If you hate me so much, why are you here?” He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and then deal with the fallout, to figure out how much this visit would set him back with Eren.

Carla arched a fine eyebrow at his abrasiveness then smiled, the expression seemingly genuine. “I’m beginning to see why you had me come,” she remarked to Mikasa as she set aside her tea as well, then folded her hands on her lap; with her enticing looks - an older, feminine version of Eren and the expensive yet simple dark green dress she wore, it did something to Levi to stare at her for too long. “Yes, I’ve spent the last fifteen years hating the very idea of ‘Levi’, I must admit, the man who has tormented my child’s dreams. So imagine my surprise when Mikasa reached out to me to let me know that Eren had not only found you, but seems to have fallen in love with you.”

“I’m not a shitty monster, dam- wait, she told you what?” He could only gape at Mikasa as she lifted her mug to him as if in a salute before taking a sip, a slight curve to her lips. “She did?” Didn’t she hate him because of Eren? “So you’re here… to what?”

“I’m not quite sure, to be honest.” Carla tugged on a loose strand of her long hair in a manner so reminiscent of Eren that Levi felt a painful ‘twang’ in his chest. “I was furious when I first found out, both at you and Eren – he’s not the type to keep secrets from me. But I know Grisha and I haven’t been the most rational when it comes to him and this whole… name thing.” Her left hand flipped through the air a couple of times. “And if he was serious about you, he probably figured he had to proceed with caution.”

“He kept it a secret from all of us,” Mikasa added as she set the mug aside with an unhappy glance at Levi. “It wasn’t just you.”

“Yes, but you wouldn’t have tried to drag him back home.” Carla sighed as she let go of the strand of hair. “He fought so hard to be able to come here, and part of his argument was that it was better for Grisha and me to let him go, that we deserved our own lives, too.” For a moment she pressed her hand to her chest where her husband’s name had to be beneath the fine fabric and smiled before she once more focused her attention back on Levi. “And after hearing Mikasa explain things… it made me wonder that if it’s all messed up like she said… what would I do if I was in either of your positions?” The smile faded as she once more caught Levi’s eyes with her expressive brown ones. “So I’m here to talk to you before I see that ‘hot-headed’ son of mine.”

A bit of hope began to creep into Levi, and he was hesitant to crush it just yet. “And what, if I don’t make the cut you have Mikasa there to shove me down the steps?” He’d been able to track down Eren’s ex-boyfriend by the little that his lover had said, and while he was impressed with the job Mikasa had done on the guy – who currently was under attack by some hellish spambots – he wasn’t going to take being threatened in his own home.

While Mikasa gave him a chilling grin and cracked her knuckles as if in anticipation of doing just that, Carla shook her head. “Oh no, nothing so crass, Mr. Ackerman. If I feel that you’re not serious about Eren, I’ll just guilt-trip my son into filing that restraining order he’s held off on then make certain once this semester is over, he transfers to the farthest university from here that I can find.” The dark gleam from before returned to her eyes, giving them an almost gem-appearance. “If you try to follow, you’ll be arrested as soon as you get within ten feet of him, I promise.”

He couldn’t say anything upon hearing that, could just stare at her as his mind was filled with the thought of losing Eren for good, of his lover being snatched away forever – Eren thought it was painful for Levi to die for him? What the fuck about Eren being stolen way? Levi shook his head as he clawed at his chest, at the burning ache that consumed the center of it.

“Mr. Ackerman? *Mr. Ackerman*!” He heard Carla call out his name but it didn’t really matter what she said anymore, did it? “Oh hell, *Levi*!” Hearing her say *that*, however, did, and he looked up to find her standing a few feet away with an anxious expression on her lovely face. “I didn’t say I would,” she continued as she sat down on the other end of the couch, “just that I might if I felt you weren’t suitable for Eren.” She sighed as she once more took to tugging at her hair. “This really is a mess, isn’t it?”

“A big shitty one,” he mumbled as he did his best to pull himself together. “So what do I have to do to prove to you I’m not the monster from Eren’s dreams?”

Carla regarded him for several seconds with a searching gaze before she spoke. “You answer me this honestly – what does my son mean to you?”

“He-“ Levi closed his mouth and took a deep breath while he did his best to gather his thoughts, his right hand sliding to cover Eren’s name on his chest. “As far as I can tell from back *then*, he was what helped to keep me sane, was what kept me going when everything was all fucked up in a shitty world.” He figured that if Carla had asked for the truth, there was no need for polite words. “I think that must have been why I died for him, because if he was gone… there was no reason for me to keep going, too.”

She nodded as if to show she understood. “And now?”

“He’s still my everything.” Dammit, could that sound any more pathetic? But it was the truth. “Ever since I first dreamed of him, I’ve woken up every day hoping it would be the one where I found him, where it would be the one we’d finally meet and we’d be able to spend our lives together without all the pain and the fear.” It was his turn to give her the cold, assessing look. “It’s one thing for Eren not to want me back, but I’m not going to let anyone else keep us apart, or for some fucked up misunderstanding to get in the way. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to assure Eren that it’s not a mistake, him wearing my name.”

Carla stared at him with some undecipherable expression for what felt to be a good minute or two before she shook her head. “You seem to be just as stubborn as he is, which I suppose is good, because you’ll need it if you’re going to try to put up with him. But you’ve been making an effort, so it’s time that he does, too.” She got up and went back over to the loveseat, where she fixed her neglected cup of tea before she resumed drinking it. “Now, if I do manage to talk to some sense into him, and that’s a big *if*, you have to respect Eren’s desire for a university degree. Do anything to interfere with that, and his father and I will *not* be pleased.” She gave him a stern look over the rim of the mug.

Eh? “What the hell do you mean by that?” That… that was good, right? All of that was good? Well, not the implied threat….

Mikasa sighed as she set her mug aside. “It means that I really won’t get to push you down the stairs.” When Levi glared at the pain in the ass, she shook her head. “You have her approval, at least to resume dating Eren.”

“Yes, it would have been nice if you’d have asked for it *beforehand*, but Eren has some of the blame for that,” Carla remarked between sips of tea.

Wait, so Levi had passed… whatever the fuck this was? “Really, no more stairs?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about me so much, now you have to deal with *her* if you upset Eren, and Dr. Jaeger is really good with knives.” Mikasa gave him that slight smirk of hers while all of a sudden, Carla looked much too innocent. “Ever wonder why Eren knows so much about poisonous plants?”

“… fuck.” The entire family was psychotic, no wonder Eren was so messed up.

“Now, now, Mikasa, it’s more a hobby than anything. It’s not like I ever poisoned any of Eren’s boyfriends – none of them ever tried anything after poor Sam with his broken jaw and fractured left leg.” If Levi thought that there had been a dark look on Carla’s face before, it was *nothing* compared to now when she brought up Eren’s abusive ex. “I’m sure Levi cares too much about Eren to ever be foolish enough to hurt him.”

Mental note to self – they were doing *all* of the holiday dinners at Levi’s mother’s house, she would love it. Then another thought jolted him back to reality. “You can’t poison me for being a lousy boyfriend if Eren won’t have anything to do with me,” he reminded the two.

“Yes, thank you for the reminder.” Carla finished the tea then set the mug back down on the tray. “And thank you for the tea.” She smiled at Levi as she stood up, then motioned to Mikasa. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. If you don’t mind, please drop me off at the gym on campus.”

“That’s fine, as long as you show me how to get there.”

Levi watched the two women talk to each other then clicked his tongue. “Oi! What’s going on?”

Carla arched her left eyebrow while she fetched her coat from the hook by the door, where she’d left it. “I’m going to drop off Mikasa and then go see my son to talk some sense into him, which I imagine might take some time. It’s been… well, I hope our next visit goes a bit better, Levi. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future.”

“We’ll see ourselves out.” Mikasa gave him a small wave as she followed Carla to the door. Levi stared after them for a few seconds before he could get off the couch, and that was to lock the door behind them then to lean against it, torn between the hope that things were getting better and the desire to hunt down Erwin to punch him in the face. Instead, he settled for going over to the coffee table to pick up the tray of mugs so he could wash them, then head out for a quick grocery run before he came back to lose himself in a cleaning spree.

Did he really have another chance at Eren?

*******

Eren stared at the screen of his laptop and tried to force the words to make sense, but his tired mind just didn’t want to focus on the ab psych reading assignment due for Monday; this was the last of his homework for the day and he had a feeling he’d just have to go over it before class on Monday since he was just too tired and unmotivated at the moment. Spring break couldn’t come soon enough, not that he had any intentions of doing much over the holiday other than curling up in his bed and passing out.

Maybe he could stock up on some over the counter sleeping pills so he could do his best to not just sleep, just fall into some kind of coma-like stupor….

He was debating if it was worth the risk of heading to the campus clinic to ask for prescription sleeping pills when there was a knock on his door. “Dammit,” he grumbled as he forced his aching body to stand up from its position on the floor, unwilling to put up with more fussing from Mikasa or another lecture from Armin. It couldn’t be anyone wanting to see if he was willing to go out, since he’d turned down a few invites with the excuse of being sick.

So he could only stare in numb silence when his mother smiled at him from the other side of the door. “Surprise!” She laughed when he shook his head while scrubbing at his face, then enfolded him in a hug. “Sweetie, I love you, but do you know you look-“

“Like crap, everyone tells me I look like crap, I know it, what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be doing here?” Oh god he was babbling and not making any sense but his mother was here, he was hugging her back and he loved her and something in him just wanted to hold on forever and start bawling but what was she doing here?

“Hmm, I was going to be nice and say that you look a bit under the weather, but yes, you look awful.”

Somehow they ended up in his living room, so at least the neighbors couldn’t see him holding on to his mother as if she was a vital lifeline, his arms around her shoulders and his face held between her hands as she seemed to study his complexion or something. Her expression was a mix of concern and love, something he’d seen often enough over the years when he’d woken up from his dreams or come home with a bloody lip or bruised cheek. “You’re not sleeping.”

Ah, she must be here because of his talk with his father. “Well, there’s a lot going on with my classes-“

“And you’ve lost weight.” Her hands tightened on his face and her brows drew closer together.

“-the professors are more demanding this year, so you see-“

“I’m sure they are, dear, but this isn’t about school, it’s about Levi.”

“-I’ll be fine in a few more- wah?!” Eren could only blink several times as he tried to process what his mother had just said. No. No, no, *no*, she couldn’t have just said *that* word, she couldn’t be here because of-

“You’re stressed out because of your ‘name’.” His mother let go of him and pointed to the couch while she undid the belt then buttons of her grey coat. “And while I’m more than a little upset with you over the fact that you kept meeting Levi a secret from me and your father, we’ll move on from that for the time being.” When she noticed that he was still standing there in shock, she pointed again. “Now *sit*.”

“But… but *how*?” Oh, this was a nightmare, wasn’t it? He was passed out with his face in the keyboard, having a nightmare.

“One more time, *sit*!” Eren found himself sitting down in a hurry while his mother glared. “Better.” She nodded once while her expression returned to the mix of concern and love. “Stay there, I’ll just be a minute.” Then she went to the kitchen.

While she was in there, Eren reached for his phone, which was beside his laptop, and began to text the person he had a feeling was responsible for this awful, *awful* situation. All it took was one word – ‘why’, and a few seconds later he had a reply from Mikasa.

‘For your own good’

Dammit! He let out a frustrated grunt and mashed the keys for several seconds, the only outlet to his conflicted emotions he allowed since he was sure in her very, *very* messed up way she’d meant well, but seriously? *Seriously*? Calling his *mother*?

“I’m dead,” he declared as he threw the phone at the other end of the couch.

“You get that flair for the dramatic from your father’s side of the family,” his mother remarked as she reentered the room with two bottles of flavored water dangling from one hand and a package of cookies in the other. “And you’re not dead, too many people know about me being in Trost for me to leave a dead body behind.”

Eren gave his mother as disgruntled a look as he dared. “Yeah, I get it all from *Dad*. Ow!” He rubbed his forehead where his mother had whapped him with a water bottle.

“Quit being such a brat and drink this, then have a few cookies. When was the last time you ate? Or even bothered to go grocery shopping? This is worse than I thought.” Her expression softened as she sat down on the couch beside him.

Doing as he’d been told, he opened the bottle and took a sip, then realized that he was thirsty and drained about half the bottle before he stopped and set it on the coffee table. However, he was only able to eat about two of the cookies before he felt queasy. “I’ve been busy, okay? I do have a lot of stuff to keep up with because of my classes.”

“Yes, that and this whole ‘name’ thing doesn’t help, I’m sure.” She frowned at him while she picked up a shortbread cookie for herself and broke it in half.

“I don’t….” Eren closed his eyes for a moment while he rubbed along Levi’s name on his chest. “I….”

“I just met him, you know? He’s a very nice man.”

“What?” Out of all the things he expected to hear from his mother, *that* was not it. “How did you meet him? Is he still alive? Please tell me he’s still alive!” Was that a spot of blood on his mother’s favorite green dress?

“Of course he’s still alive! Your father made me promise no maiming or killing without him present.” She smiled at Eren for a few seconds and then sighed while rolling her eyes. “You used to have a sense of humor.”

“This isn’t funny!” Eren tugged at his hair while he waited for a straight answer – most likely in the form of where she’d hidden Levi’s body. “Tell me you didn’t do anything to Levi! Wait, no, *anything bad* to Levi! He’s all right, right?” Oh god, he was having a heart attack, wasn’t he? What were the warning signs again? Why did it feel as if someone was digging in his chest with a dull fork?

“Ah-ha! So you do care about him, don’t you!” She popped a piece of cookie into her mouth then pointed her finger at him while she chewed, uncaring about his suffering. “Relax, he’s alive and well – okay, he’s alive and he’ll be so much better when you stop being so stubborn and go to him.” When Eren began to shake his head upon hearing that, she sighed and reached out to comb her fingers through his hair. “Sweetie… Mikasa told me what was going on, we had a long talk.” She gave him a lopsided smile as her fingers soothed against his scalp, much like they had done when he was younger and woke up with nightmares. “It’s what kept me from driving down here like a maniac the other night when I first found out to run my car over him and then haul you back home.”

That wrung a weak chuckle from Eren as his heartbeat resumed a more normal pace. “Yeah, that’s how I figured you’d react if you found out.”

“Hmm, which is why I’m *mostly* going to let it slide, you hiding this from us.” She gave him one of her teasing grins he loved so much. “Though I *finally* got my equivalent of a ‘twenty hour labor’ story for you, so expect to hear about it during your wedding toast and whenever I want to guilt-trip you into coming home for the holidays.”

“What wedding?” He tilted his head into the caress, which felt so good just then even if she was talking nonsense.

“Oh, I think it’ll happen sooner than you suspect, but first things first.” She gave a lock of his hair a slight tug. “Back to Levi.”

Mention of his- of Levi made Eren shake his head; couldn’t they just sit here and do the head massage and… he was so tired. “No, there’s nothing to talk about, it’s done.” He gave her a pleading look. “You know why it’s best to just let it go, and even if-“ he let out a deep, shuddering breath. “What can I do? He’s willing to give up so much for me, and I just mess things up!” A choked off sob escaped him as he rubbed at his eyes which suddenly prickled with tears as he thought about everything. “He can’t want someone like me, there has to be someone better out there.” All Eren did was make things difficult, or insult Levi or make him jump through hoops or.. or worse… Levi was just better off without him. *Eren* was the monster.

Eren’s mother made a soothing sound as her warm fingers wrapped around his wrists and urged them downward. “You know, a long time ago I asked my mother why we had to have these names.” She cast a gentle smile at Eren as she wiped at the tear that escaped from his right eye. “I didn’t have your father’s name yet, I just knew I would have one eventually and I didn’t care for the idea that maybe I would be tied to one person forever.” She laughed a little as her palm cradled Eren’s cheek. “I was young, and children have strange ideas – often because they hear little bits of this and that. Anyway, she told me that something bad had happened a long, long time ago, something awful that caused a lot of people to be torn from the ones they loved the most, and this seemed to be the way that the Fates tried to address those great wrongs. They wanted those who were meant to spend their lives together to get a second chance, and those who were hurt to… well, she didn’t want to go into it with a young child but I think you understand that.” Her smile took on a sad edge.

“Yeah, I do.” Eren twisted his right hand about so he could give hers a squeeze. “I wish I could have met Grandma Tilki.”

“Yes, so do I, she was a wonderful woman, and a wise one as well. I think she was right about our ‘names’, too. And since it turned out that you weren’t given Levi’s as a warning, then it means that the two of you are meant to be together.” When he made to shake his head, she gave a harsher tug to his hair. “No, listen to me. *Listen*.” She glared until he gave a slight nod in return. “I love you, but you make me believe in things like curses when I think about all the times my mother yelled at me about being a stubborn fool and how I deserved a child twice as pig-headed as me to teach me a lesson.”

“Thanks, Mom,” he mumbled while he rubbed at Levi’s name.

“I wasn’t finished.” She yanked again at his hair and huffed even as a smile lingered on her lips. “I think she overdid it with the curse, if anything, because you’re at least *three* times as stubborn as me at my worst, and when it doesn’t drive me crazy it’s something I admire. You don’t waver when you stand by your friends and your beliefs… but sometimes, Eren, you let that stubborn streak drag you down when you get these dark thoughts in your head.” She let go of his hair to once more cradle his face between her warm palms, her eyes filled with sadness and her voice soft with pain. “You don’t let yourself see how you’re tearing yourself apart because you can’t let go of something bad, and this is one of those times. So I’m telling you as your mother, as someone who loves you more than maybe one or two other people out there in the whole wide world… *let it go*. Let go of the belief that Levi is better without you. Let go of the thought that there’s only pain with him, because it’s clear you’re miserable *without* him. Let it go and seize this chance, because you will regret it more than anything if you don’t.”

What she said made sense, but Eren didn’t understand how Levi could forgive him for how he’d acted the last few days. “What if he’s decided I’m not worth the hassle anymore?"

"Oh for the love of-“ Eren’s mother smacked him on the left side of his head then shoved him onto the floor. “Okay, maybe you take after your father more than I’ve suspected. Did you not hear me say that I met Levi? Trust me, just go to him.” She rolled her eyes as she reached down to yank Eren onto his feet. “Mikasa was right, you are *hopeless*.”

“Thanks again,” Eren mumbled as he found himself pulled along. “Uhm, where are we going?” When he got a rather pithy look in response, Eren began to freak out. “Levi’s?” Oh, wow, he didn’t think his voice could squeak like that anymore since he’d gotten past puberty. “No! Bad idea!”

“No, great idea, or else this is going to drag out for months, knowing you. Well, drag out until you end up in the hospital from malnutrition and exhaustion, and then I have to put up with your father as well, so it ends tonight.” She stopped dragging Eren to the door to once more give him a hug. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see. Just go to him, talk and…, well, it’ll be fine. Just be honest about what you feel and don’t let those stubborn, dark thoughts get in the way, promise me.” She pulled back enough to give him an encouraging smile. “He’s your ‘name’, and more than that, he’s in love with you.”

For the first time since Eren had woken up from that awful dream, he felt an ease in the awful ache inside of his chest. “Really? You’re not just saying that to get me out of the apartment?”

His mother looked upward as if beseeching the heavens for patience. “Your wedding, the holidays and whenever I want to send your father away for a couple of days to get him out of my hair, do you hear? You’re going to have this rubbed in your face for *years* to come and I’m going to love every minute of it.” The rather demented smile on his mother’s beautiful face just then made Eren shut his mouth on any more arguments and meekly go along with being dragged out of his apartment and down to her car; he’d rather deal with Levi’s rejection and anger than his determined and deranged mother *any* day.

*******

After deciding that he was too anxious to eat, Levi put the grilled salmon salad he’d picked up while out away in the fridge and had begun to scrub down the kitchen when his doorbell rang. He paused for a moment while he decided whether or not to answer it – if it was Erwin or Hange then he was slamming the door in their faces, though only after kicking that bastard Erwin in the knee first – before he rinsed off his hands. Might as well get this over with, then see about turning off the damn doorbell somehow so he could get some peace and quiet.

Keeping any smart comments to himself this time in case it was Eren’s father or grandmother or whoever the fuck on the other side of the door, he opened it… and then ended up gaping like a fool to find *Eren*, fucking *Eren* standing there looking as if he was waiting for the execution squad to show up, dressed in a ratty pair of sweatpants and… fuck, a sweatshirt with Levi’s *name* on it.

Eren fiddled with the long sleeves of the pale grey and blue shirt for a moment, a hint of pink to his cheeks as he ducked his head. “Uhm… hi?” He even gave a slight wave with his right hand. “Long time no see?” There was a slight smile on his face which began to fade as he stood there. “Ah, yeah, right. I told her this wouldn’t work. I’m sorry, I’m… I’m sorry, I’ll just… yeah.” His head hung a little lower as he began to turn away.

He was turning away. This… this was real. Fuck, this was real. “Jaeger, get your *ass* *in* *here*,” Levi snapped as he threw the door wide open. “*NOW!*”

Eren’s head shot up and he spun around so fast that he wobbled for a second. “Yuh-yes, sir!” Then his entire face became flushed. “Dammit! Why do I keep doing that?!” He managed a slight glare while he hurried into Levi’s apartment, which Levi decided to ignore because his lover was *in* his apartment and toeing off the pair of sneakers he wore without Levi having to tell him to do it.

“Because you have some sense after all?” Levi allowed himself some satisfaction and a slight smile as Eren’s glare first went up a notch at the comment and then faded away; now that they were inside and away from the door, Eren’s nervousness reasserted itself. He glanced around the apartment as if to take it in, his lovely eyes wide as he looked around the spacious living room with its leather couches and large entertainment center, and a slight smile for what he caught of the fancy yet barely used kitchen.

“Ah, this... looks… it looks really nice.”

“Thank you, I’ll give you a tour later. Your mother and Mikasa seemed impressed by it, too.” Levi led Eren toward the kitchen and leaned against the island.

Eren was definitely interested in the room, but only allowed himself a quick glance around before he stared at Levi in horror. “Both of them? You had to deal with both of them?”

“I think I’m beginning to like Mikasa after all, and your mother is sweetheart.” Psychotic, but a sweetheart, especially since she obviously had honored her word about talking some sense into Eren. Levi felt a good bit of respect for the woman… but it still didn’t mean he wanted to spend the holidays with her.

“She’s crazy, is what she is – she’s probably blocking the exit door until she’s certain I talked to you.” Eren sighed as he jerked his hands through his hair, which looked as if it hadn’t been combed in a few days. Hange had been right about Eren looking like absolute shit, and if Levi had known his lover was this bad off… well, the brat was here now.

Levi ached to go over to him and comb his fingers through Eren’s hair, to hold him close and assure himself that Eren was all right – but he forced himself to stay where he was until he knew *why* Eren was here. “And? Are you only here because she forced you to come?” As much as he was desperate to see Eren, to have him here, he didn’t want this to be about pity.

“No!” Eren had been about to sit down in one of the bar stools when Levi had asked the question, and stood with his hands braced on top of the island’s granite surface. He glared at Levi for a few seconds, and then his beautiful, expressive face became flushed as he glanced aside. “I mean, yeah, she dragged me here,” Levi felt all the hope in him begin to die at those words, “but that’s because….”

Dammit, Levi was ready to shake the little shit for stopping there! “Because of what?” He dared to reach out to snag a fold of the left sleeve of that confusing, soft-looking sweatshirt and tugged Eren closer. “Why didn’t you want to come here?”

Eren’s eyes widened and he drew in an audible gulp of air even as his hands rose to press against Levi’s chest – press against, but not to push away. “Bu-because you probably don’t want me here?”

Levi had to count to three to keep from screaming just then. “Brat… that is the most *insane* shit I’ve ever heard you say… and you’ve been saying a *lot* lately.” Without any warning, he grabbed his lover by his hips and half carried-half shoved him onto one of the bar stools, then pinned Eren in place by gripping the island behind him. “So fucking listen for once, all right?” Levi told him as he leaned in close. “I want you here. *I* *want* *you*.”

Eren closed his eyes and gave his head a slight shake, which prompted a faint growl of frustration from Levi as he expected yet more denial. “No.”

“Dammit, Eren!”

“No!” Eren’s eyes flew open and his hands hovered in the air, just in front of Levi’s chest, before they settled once more over Levi’s heart with a gentleness of a caress and not a rebuff. “No, I… part of me gets it, I do. If anything I don’t get why you want me so much, to want to give up so much, when all I do is hurt you.” His fingers dug curled into Levi’s chest for a moment and then they pulled away.

It was Levi’s turn to argue. “No, oh no you don’t.” He let go of the island to grasp at Eren’s hands and yank them back to his chest. “The only way you hurt me is to push me away, that is *it*.”

“But you ended up-“

“Don’t say another fucking word about what I did back *then*,” Levi commanded as his right hand buried deep in the nape of Eren’s hair. “That was – everything was fucked up then, all right? This is *now*, and I’m not going to die on you! I have every damn reason to want to grow old with you as long as you don’t fucking leave me, all right?” He gave a slight tug as if attempting to make Eren nod in agreement.

It tore him up inside when Eren stared at him with those huge fucking eyes shimmering with unshed tears, and then all of a sudden the brat smiled, just… just *smiled*, and Levi felt as if he’d won the greatest prize on the whole planet. “All right,” Eren whispered.

Levi could only stare back for a few seconds, and then he let go of Eren’s hands so he could slide his left hand behind Eren’s neck as well. “All right… what?”

“Ha.” Eren shook his head as much as he could with Levi still holding on to his hair. “’All right’ as in okay, you’re right.” Then his expression turned serious as his right hand splayed out over Levi’s heart and his left rose up to brush fingertips against the side of Levi’s face. “You better grow old on me, okay? Or… or I’ll sic my mom on you.”

That wrung a laugh out of Levi. “Yeah, you got me there. Just for that, I’m going to go totally senile and crotchety on your ass.”

“Deal.” Eren let out another slow breath as his body trembled, and then he closed his eyes as he slumped forward, against Levi. “I’m sorry. I… it hurt so much, losing you like *that*, and all I could think about was not wanting it to happen again, not wanting-” Eren choked back a sob as his arms wrapped around Levi and hugged him with a palpable desperation. “Senile and old and crotchety, you promised.”

Levi pressed a kiss against his lover’s left temple and hugged him tight in return. “We’ll both be old and senile.” He didn’t care if it was tempting the Fates to say such a thing, he would do whatever he had to in order to live a full life with Eren. Considering what things had been like in their last one together, it certainly was owed to them in this one.

“I can work with that.” That breathtaking smile was on Eren’s face as he pulled away – at least for a few seconds. Then his demeanor once more turned serious, yet his hands remained on Levi, his right still above Levi’s heart as if seeking reassurance in its heartbeat and his left now stroking over Levi’s undercut. “I’ll work on my anxieties, but you have to work on something for me, too.”

“Eh, me?” Levi frowned as he tried to figure out what the hell he’d done wrong, other than allow Eren to get so worked up over his past death in the first place.

His confusion didn’t seem to please Eren, who took to glaring at him once more. “You have to trust me, no more treating me as if I can’t defend myself from… from, well, anything. A pot of boiling water, Levi. You wouldn’t even let me drain a pot of boiling water, and don’t get me started on how you acted with those assholes when we went out to dinner.”

Oh, yeah. About to argue that Levi had just… yeah, okay, maybe not a good argument. “But I’m trained-“

“No.” Eren dug his nails in to the back of Levi’s neck as if in warning. “You wonder why I’m so afraid of losing you? Keep digging that hole, *Captain*.”

Yeah, they were going to have to work on this. “Agreed,” he sighed while he pulled Eren in close. “So what, you want me to go ahead with the shit I sent you?’

Eren stared at him in confusion for a couple of seconds before gasping. “Oh, the email? Hell no.” Eren shook his head. “I don’t want you to change your job or get rid of your car for me, you love those things. I just want you to be more careful and to treat me like an equal, not someone you’re guarding.”

Well, Erwin would be happy about the job thing, and Levi couldn’t say that he minded, either. “I’m not going to argue with you, but I’d do it if it made you feel better.”

“No, there’s no need, just don’t go taunting wannabe gang members and stuff like that,” Eren grumbled. “I don’t want you to change all of that stuff, I just want you to be a little more careful and to not treat me as if I’m a child.” He continued to frown at Levi for a few more seconds and then gave him a sheepish grin. “Though yeah, the one house you sent with the garden and the fireplace was nice. But it’s okay, you don’t have to buy anything to convince me. Just show it to me.””

Ah, Levi thought he knew which one Eren was talking about, though he’d check a bit later – right now he *finally* had his lover in his arms, they weren’t fighting, and it seemed to him they were talking some pretty long-range plans. That meant things were good, right? Time to find out just how good. “Show it to you, huh?” He slid his hands downward until they rested on Eren’s hips. “How about I show you how glad I am that you’re here?”

Eren’s eyes went wide and his fingers tightened in Levi’s hair while his tongue darted out to swipe along his bottom lip. “Show me how?”

Levi smiled at how husky his lover’s voice sounded and began to tug up the sweatshirt. “Where did you get this thing?”

“Eh?” Eren’s brow furrowed as he stared blankly in response to the question. “Get what?”

“This sweatshirt.” Having pulled it up past Eren’s hips, Levi stroked his fingers along exposed flesh and smirked at the way Eren shivered. “I like seeing you wear my name.”

“Your? Oh… ah!” Eren closed his eyes and shivered again while he tugged on Levi’s hair as if to pull him closer. “It’s from Mikasa’s family’s studio. Never… ah… my mom dragged me here without a chance to change.”

Now that he was close to it, Levi could make out some half-faded symbol beneath the name ‘Ackerman’ so it made sense; he supposed this once he could forgive Eren wearing something related to Mikasa since the girl had proven so helpful earlier. *However*, the brat would go home wearing something else. “That so? Well, as nice as it looks on you, I think it’ll look even better on my floor,” Levi murmured as he continued to tug the shirt upward.

Eren, who had been leaning toward him, went still and then pulled back a little to stare at him with something akin to horror. “Seriously? Did you just seriously say something that cheesy? What’s next, are you going to ask me back to your bedroom to show me your art collection?”

Levi didn’t remember the little shit being this lippy in the past, dammit. “No,” Levi gritted out, “I’m going to ask you back there to fuck if you stop being such a shitty brat.”

“Oh.” Eren blinked as if surprised by Levi’s bluntness, and just when Levi cursed at himself for fucking up again, slapped Levi’s hand aside so *he* could yank off the sweatshirt. “Okay then, that’s fine.”

“What, really?” Levi was starting to feel dizzy from everything that was being thrown at him this evening and thought that maybe he really should have eaten something in the last few… well, he should have eaten. He narrowed his eyes when Eren once more reached for his chest, this time to work on the buttons of his pale lavender dress shirt. “Is this some sort of trick?” He grabbed at Eren’s hands to make them stop for a moment. “You’re not going to change your mind again or something afterwards?”

Eren sighed as he attempted to tug his hands free then settled for giving Levi’s left shin a gentle kick. “No, it’s not a trick.” At Levi’s dubious look, he sighed again. “I’m nineteen years old – almost twenty – and it’s been forever since I’ve had sex.” When Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance upon hearing that, Eren shook his head. “Wait, there’s more!” He gave Levi’s leg another kick, and yelped when his hands were squeezed in return. “Then I meet you, and ever since then, if I’m not dreaming about losing you… then I’m dreaming of us… well, you know.” His white teeth sank into his bottom lip as he glanced aside.

Oh yeah, Levi knew all too well about those dreams; he gave Eren’s hands another squeeze before he let them go. “You come back there with me, and that’s it – we’re together. I can’t put up with you running away after that,” he warned.

The smile Eren gave him as he resumed undoing the buttons of Levi’s shirt was slight yet his eyes glowed with strong emotions. “I knew as soon as I allowed my mom to drag me out of my apartment that as long as you didn’t turn me away, that this was it for me. I’ll fight me fears, you fight your… whatever, and we’ll make it work.”

Levi gave a light cuff to his lover’s left ear then slid his fingers through Eren’s disheveled hair. “It’s not my ‘whatever’, but okay, yeah, fine, if it gets me in your pants that much faster.” He leaned forward to bridge the space between them as Eren finished the last of the buttons then pushed his shirt open.

“You’ve gotta work on those lines, Captain,” Eren murmured, his breath warm against Levi’s face.

“Why? I’ve got you.” Levi stifled Eren’s faint laugh with a kiss, one a gentle press of lips at first, a sweet taste, and then Levi’s tongue was deep in Eren’s mouth as if desperate to map out every bit of it while Eren moaned and clawed at his back.

The stool went clattering to the floor when Eren stood up, causing Levi to curse at their height difference when he yanked Eren’s head down to continue the kiss, unwilling to give it up just yet, and Eren moaned again when Levi’s left hand settled on his ass. They took a stumbling step away from the island, mouths finally parting while Eren gasped for air and Levi muttered about his damn shirt.

“Bedroom?”

“Oh yeah.” Levi yanked the shirt off his arms and threw it to the floor, then pulled Eren in close; damn brat was mostly leg so they couldn’t quite grind their hips together, but friction was such a wonderful thing and he *loved* hearing Eren moan. “Come on.” He held on to Eren’s left hand and led him along as he not quite ran to the other room.

“What, this is a two bedroom?”

“Not what you should be focusing on now, brat!” Levi came to a halt but used both force and momentum to fling the idiot onto his queen-sized bed, which caused Eren to laugh as he landed on the soft mattress and dark blue duvet. “I said I’d give you a tour later.”

“Hmm, true, it’s time for that art collection, right?” Eren stared at him from where he was sprawled out on the bed, hair even more disheveled and strands laying across his flushed face, eyes dark with desire, and dressed only in those old sweatpants which did nothing to hide his evident ‘interest’ in Levi.

“Maybe you should let your professors study you, you’re not all up there,” Levi remarked as he slowly undid his leather belt then the button of his dark grey slacks. “And you wonder why I look out for you.”

Eren’s smile faded a little as he propped up on his elbows. “That better be a joke.”

Dammit. Levi shook his head as he gave up on the pants and straddled Eren on the bed, his knees on either side of his lover’s hips. “It’s what I’m used to, okay?” He reached for Eren’s lovely face and cupped it between his hands. “Whatever the reason back *then*, you were my responsibility, and I was raised *here* that you look after your loved ones.” When it looked as if Eren was about to argue – damn, but the brat could argue – Levi silenced him with a kiss. “Give me some time to figure out how to watch over you but not be an ass about it, all right?” he murmured when they broke apart.

“Okay,” Eren sighed. “And… and yell at me if I start freaking out again.” He laughed a little as his fingers trailed along Levi’s bare chest. “Or just tell me mom, and she can yell at me.”

“Deal.” Levi caught Eren’s right hand and brushed his lips against it; he had a feeling that they both would have to honor the agreement in upcoming weeks, but it gave him hope that they seemed intent on facing their issues and trying this time, that they were truly facing what was wrong. “Now about that artwork….”

He adored hearing Eren laugh, especially when it washed away the tired, stress look from his lover’s face. “Yeah, have some nice etchings to show me, hmm?” There was a wicked gleam in Eren’s eyes as his left hand skimmed down Levi’s abdomen.

“How about ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’?” Levi once more leaned down for a kiss, his body shifting to stretch out over his lover’s, and drank in Eren’s delighted moan. He enjoyed a leisurely roll of the hips, pleasure building in him slowly but surely, especially when one of Eren’s hands slid beneath his pants to give his ass a squeeze. Taking the hint, he shifted over so he could squirm out of his pants and underwear, and grinned in anticipation when Eren did the same.

He’d seen Eren naked the week before, but now he had his lover stretched out on his own bed, all that golden skin seeming to glow as if from within against the dark material. He took a moment to skim his hands along those long, coltish legs, the toned abdomen that quivered beneath his touch, around a dark nipple and up to a bobbing Adam’s apple before tilting Eren’s chin down for a quick kiss.

“So, how do you want to do this?” He skimmed his hand downward, enjoying the slight shivers his touch provoked. “Me do you or you do me? Or just jerk each other off again?” It had been a long day for him… but he’d been dreaming of this moment for so long, he wasn’t sure he could risk letting it slip by without trying.

“Oh hell,” Eren muttered when Levi gave his left nipple a slight pinch. “Don’t get my hopes up of a fuck, we’re doing it.” He closed his eyes and gasp when Levi’s hand continued lower. “Ah… you… me… I don’t….”

“Hmm?” Levi wrapped his hand around Eren’s hard cock and gave it a slight squeeze. “You don’t care? You don’t care if I fuck you or not?” he asked as he leaned in closer to whisper the question in the brat’s ear.

“Dammit… yes.” Eren shuddered as he bucked his hips into Levi’s grip. “Fuck. Fuck me now, my turn later, whatever.”

“Sounds like another deal.” Levi grinned as he nuzzled along Eren’s jaw, then couldn’t resist the urge to suck and bite a little as he continued to stroke Eren to a whining, trembling mess. Once he’d left enough marks to his satisfaction, he pulled away to look for some lube while something occurred to him.

“Uhm, I sent you the health report, so you know I’m clean.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Eren sounded on the verge of tears and covered his eyes with his left arm. “Why do you- *now*?”

Levi frowned over his lover’s reaction while he dug in the one nightstand. “Why not now? I have the condoms if you tell me I need to use them.” That was one thing that hadn’t been there in the past, at least not for them. The only kind of prophylactics had been very basic and only to try to prevent pregnancies.

Eren gave a weak sort of laugh and shook his head. “I’m clean, too – like I said, it’s been a while and Dr. Bodepudi checks for that type of stuff. It’s hell to have one of your father’s friends give you a safe sex talk every year.”

“So…?” Levi held up the bottle of lube and a condom.

Eren uncovered his face to stare at Levi and then at what he held up, teeth worrying at his bottom lip once more. After a few seconds he let out a slow breath. “Guess it would be weird to start now, no?” He sat up to pick the condom from Levi’s fingers then tossed it back into the open drawer. “Just help clean up afterwards,” he griped as he kissed Levi and tugged him back down.

“That’s how it always worked.” Levi smiled as he once more nuzzled along Eren’s neck and settled between his lover’s legs, pleased at the new bruises left there.

“Uhm, can we focus on us getting some *now*, please.” Eren glared at Levi as he hooked a leg around Levi’s thighs. “Dammit, this is getting ridiculous. Less talking.”

Huh, someone was getting bossy all of a sudden, not that Levi had any objections – he had Eren in his bed, naked and basically begging to be fucked. Part of Levi couldn’t believe that this was happening and was waiting for something to go wrong or for him to wake up…. But Eren smiled that half-smile of his and draped his arms over Levi’s shoulders. “Now you’re the one over-thinking things,” he murmured as he pulled Levi down for a gentle kiss.

Levi set the bottle down beside Eren’s hip then stroked his hands along the warm body beneath him, once again drinking in Eren’s shivers and slight gasp in response. “Just don’t want to fuck this up,” he admitted as he looked down into Eren’s lust-darkened eyes.

“You won’t.” Eren’s smile returned as he stroked his fingers through the bangs falling onto Levi’s eyes and gave his hips a slight buck, which drew forth a low moan from Levi. “I trust you, Captain.”

Hearing Eren say that made Levi grin and his hands slip around to grab onto the brat’s ass. “I’d hope so, considering where you are. You always were shit at thinking things through, though.”

Eren’s foot thumped against the back of his legs. “What I say about talking, hmm?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi nuzzled beneath Eren’s chin while he ground his hips down, and relished the choked sound that produced from the impatient brat. “I’m on it.”

“Thank god,” Eren wheezed out, then moaned when Levi trailed his mouth down to suck on Eren’s left nipple for a couple of seconds before pulling away. Oh yes, having Eren sprawled out on Levi’s bed, tousled dark hair falling on his flushed face, throat marred with hickeys and long, lean limbs all askew… this had to be a common occurrence from here on out. Levi forced a swallow past a throat gone tight as he reached for the lube and poured out some onto his fingers.

As soon as he backed up a little between Eren’s legs, his lover spread them wider and bent them so Levi could slide his fingers between Eren’s cheeks and rub a little around the puckered entrance. “Fuck,” Eren murmured as he squirmed a little on the bed, and repeated the word louder when Levi gently took hold of his hard cock with his right hand then bent down to lap at it from root to top. “Oh fuck, don’t…,” he whined.

“Hmm.” Levi slipped in a finger and smirked a moment at the feel of Eren’s body clenching around it at another tongue laving, then wrapped his lips around his lover’s cock.

“Oh no… dammit, too close already!” Eren’s fingers twisted in Levi’s hair and for a moment held on while Levi sucked up and down a couple of times then gave a firm tug. “Suh-seriously!”

Sucking a little harder before he let Eren’s cock slip from his mouth, Levi then nuzzled at Eren’s right thigh before giving it a nip while he added another finger, which provoked an indrawn breath from the brat. “It’s okay, you can come.”

“No.” Eren shook his head as he gave Levi’s hair another gentle tug. “Not… not just me.” His grin just then was a bit sheepish. “Don’t think I’ll be much good to you after that.”

About to chide his lover about a lack of stamina or something, Levi caught the shadows on Eren’s face and settled for leaning down for another bite, a lingering one which this time left a mark on that lean, golden thigh; he was worn out from the lack of sleep and stress as well, but dammit, he needed *this*, needed Eren and proof that they together. “So what, you’re saying more along the lines of ‘wham bam’ than world’s record?” He curled his fingers a little more and felt smug when Eren’s back arched off of the bed.  Ah yeah, that was it.

“I’m – ah fuck… next time?” Eren panted as he rocked his hips back. “Oh hell… really not… gonna last.”

Levi knew the feeling – just the sight of Eren had him aching so much and desperate to come. He worked a third finger inside and groaned each time Eren moaned or twisted about beneath him, and finally decided that it was enough.

“Oh thank god,” Eren repeated when Levi slipped out his fingers and grabbed the bottle of lube again.

“Don’t see what he has to do with it.”

“Ha! Very true,” Eren stared at Levi with blatant anticipation while he slicked up his cock, and snared him with those long limbs the moment he was done. “Give me something else to thank, then.”

“I believe that’s doable.” It was so odd, almost like déjà vu, settling back between Eren’s thighs and hitching his right leg up so Levi could line up and push inside; he’d dreamed this so many times, had experienced it in his mind… but it was *nothing* like now, was so incredibly… was *incredible*. Eren’s breath hitched and his short nails dug into Levi’s shoulders as Levi slowly thrust past the initial tightness, as he sank into that gripping heat. There was the feel of Eren’s thighs pressing against his hips, the slight gasps when he finally bottomed out and the ragged moan when he resumed moving, the way some part of Eren always held on to him.

“Oh… dammit,” Eren moaned as he rocked his hips up into Levi’s thrusts, then tossed his head back when Levi began to stroke his cock as well. “Really… not gonna last.”

“That’s- that’s fine.” Levi felt the same, felt too sharp and on edge from the pleasure already, felt as if one more thrust or touch from Eren could shatter. He tugged Eren’s hips a little lower down the bed and then shifted a little higher, and damn near bit his tongue when Eren stuttered out his name and clenched around him even tighter.

“Leh-Levi!” There was a flash of pain as if Eren had scratched at his back and then Eren was coming, his cock twitching in Levi’s hand, and oh fuck that did it. Levi groaned as he felt his own orgasm slam into him, felt his body shudder as he tried to pull out, cum splurting on Eren’s thighs and the duvet.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he flopped onto the bed beside his lover, his right arm draped across Eren’s sweaty and heaving chest. “Sorry,” he said after about a minute, when the euphoria had faded a little.

“Hmm, nice try,” Eren mumbled.

“Thought… maybe less to clean up,” Levi tried to explain. “Next time… next time will be better.” They’d get some rest and make a real go out of it.

Eren laughed, the sound quiet yet beautiful, then he groaned as he rolled over enough to face Levi, his smile just as beautiful even if he looked exhausted. “Mmm, don’t care. I feel great.”

This was the man whom Levi loved so much; he reached over to brush back the hair clinging to Eren’s face. “It’s the endorphins talking. Now come on, let’s clean up before we both pass out.”

“Okay.” Eren grimaced a little as he looked downward at the mess, so Levi leaned over toward the nightstand to fetch him some tissues. “I feel like I could sleep forever, right now.”

Levi grabbed a few tissues for himself, so they could get to the bathroom without incident; he’d throw the duvet in the wash to at least soak overnight and grab one of the spares so they could – wait. “Ah, you going to spend the night here?” He forced himself to look at Eren as he asked the question even though he was afraid of the answer.

Eren stilled for a moment before he crumbled up the dirty tissues. “Well, I highly doubt my mom is still out there waiting for me – oh hell, I hope not,” his cheeks darkened with embarrassment, “and I don’t think you’re in any shape to drive right now.” He gave Levi another half-smile. “So yeah, if you don’t mind, I’ll stay here and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning as thanks.”

Levi leaned over to give the brat a kiss. “Not gonna turn down that offer.”

“All right then.” Eren’s smile widened as he got off the bed. “Besides, I still get my turn, right?” He paused to yawn, and the sight of him standing there all naked made Levi wish he had enough energy to do something about that ‘turn’ now… but yeah, not happening when he could barely stay awake enough to wash off. “Tomorrow though. You got a desk in here somewhere?”

Levi laughed as he gathered up the duvet. “Perhaps. It depends on how well you do on breakfast. Be sure to impress me.” He figured that was one bet he wouldn’t mind at all to lose.

“Huh, you are so on.” Eren hurried to follow Levi to the bathroom.

*******

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm, guess I should check in on Annie and Armin... and I think Carla might want to say something about what's going on with the two lovebirds, too.... So yeah, just a little bit more to go....


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the last chapter. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with this story, I hope you have enjoyed it. I know I had fun with the premise, and I want to thank you so very much for the kudos and the comments!

*******

Levi leaned against the kitchen island while he watched on in amazement while Eren cooked *homemade* spaghetti sauce in his kitchen. “Really, you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Hmm, and I keep telling you, it’s not that big of a deal.” Eren stirred some sort of herb into the large pot they’d stopped to pick up, along with the ingredients, after they’d swung by Eren’s apartment earlier that day to grab some spare clothes and his phone; there’d been a message from his mother calling to check up on him *and* to let him know that she expected to meet up with him and Levi for dinner before she left to go back home, hence the huge pot of spaghetti sauce.

“I thought you were going to make enough for dinner tonight, not a shit-ton of it.” Besides the sauce, Eren had made meatballs and picked up some sausage, all of which were simmering in the large pot.

Levi’s lover grabbed a clean spoon to taste the sauce and seemed pleased, since he put the spoon in the sink then turned around to approach Levi, a huge smile on his gorgeous face and teal eyes sparkling. “It’s not a lot of effort to make a bit more, and this way all we have to do is pull a container out of that empty freezer of yours when we’re the mood for some more or not up to cooking. Defrost it, boil some water for the pasta and boom, a nice dinner to enjoy.”

It felt like a kick to the chest, when Eren talked about stuff like that – when he said ‘we’ and other things that made it clear to Levi that there was a definite future for the two of them. Oh, Levi knew he was doing everything he could to ensure that Eren was with him for the rest of his life, but to know that his ‘name’ finally felt the same….

“I just feel bad that you’re doing all the hard work.” He slid his arms around Eren’s waist and straightened up a little so there wasn’t as much of a difference in their heights. “Could have just taken her out to eat.”

“Eh, not sure what she’s going to say tonight, so I’d rather we’re someplace private.” Eren winced a little even as he draped his arms over Levi’s shoulders in return; between last night and their ‘fun’ time in Levi’s office earlier in the day, Eren seemed to have gotten over any reservation he had about physical contact between the two of them. “We’re better off here.”

“Well, I’m not going to complain when it means I have my own personal chef.” Levi smiled as he slipped his hands downward to fondle his lover’s ass while his lips trailed along Eren’s chin to his neck. “Hmm, how about some dessert?” he murmured just above the suddenly rapid beating of Eren’s pulse.

“Ah!” Nimble fingers gave a gentle tug at Levi’s hair. “Save it for later, she’ll be here soon.” Eren kept tugging until Levi gave up with a disappointed click of his tongue. “Show some restraint, Captain,” Eren teased while he fussed with the collar of his dark blue dress shirt, as if he had any hope of hiding the bruises from last night.

Levi clicked his tongue again. “We have a lot of time to make up for, dammit.” As incredible as the dreams had been, they didn’t come close to how it had felt to fuck Eren last night, to see his lover come undone beneath him, or to feel Eren take him from behind as he’d been bent over his desk with Eren’s voice murmuring in his ear and hands stroking along his body the entire time.

Eren laughed a little as he shook his head. “I thought I was supposed to be the impatient brat, not you.”

“Nothing bratty about me wanting to suck you off, now is there?” Levi gave his lover a heated look as he gave Eren’s ass a squeeze. “About me going down on my knees right here and sucking on that cock of yours until you can’t think straight, taking all of it-“

“Oh god,” Eren groaned as he closed his eyes and rocked forward, against Levi. “Dammit… how long?”

Knowing that he’d won, Levi reached out to grab Eren’s hands and transferred them to the island behind them before he snatched a clean towel from its surface then slid down to his knees. “Don’t worry, I’ll be quick.”

That provoked a strangled laugh from Eren, which changed into a hiss when Levi undid the button to Eren’s jeans and then the zipper; he was already half-hard from the teasing, so Levi gave his cock a couple of strokes, foreskin sliding along with the motion while Levi undid his own pants with his free hand.

Grunting a little when he fished out his own hardening cock, Levi licked his lips to wet them then leaned in to swipe his tongue along the length of Eren’s cock, and felt a surge of pride when Eren gasped in return. Oh yes, he knew how to bring his lover off, knew how Eren adored those long, slow licks and tight pumps with his hand while Levi slid his mouth up and down, tongue pressed flat along the underpart of the shaft. He’d take in all of that lovely cock with his fingers wrapped around the very bottom and then slide back up, repeat that a few times before he pulled away to give it a long, leisurely lick or two and then wrap his lips around it again while Eren moaned and shivered; all the while he jerked himself off with his left hand with the towel draped above it.

He knew when Eren was getting close, could tell by the increased trembling and stuttered, hitched breaths, and tightened the grip with his right hand while he sucked even harder. Eren let go of the island to dig his fingers in Levi’s hair, the grip possessive yet he didn’t force Levi’s head still or in any direction; the feeling of those fingers clenching in his hair and hearing Eren gasp out his name sent intense spikes of pleasure shooting through Levi and rocked him closer to the edge while Eren came, as Levi stilled his mouth while cum spurted onto his tongue. A muffled moan escaped him when his own orgasm crashed into him, his saliva-slick right hand sliding from Eren’s softening cock to wrap around his lover’s hips instead for support.

“Fuck,” Eren groaned as he hunched over Levi, fingers now loose in Levi’s hair. “Just… fuck.”

“Yeah. And ow, this floor sucks for blowjobs,” Levi grumbled as he sank back on his heels. “Need a damn pillow or something next time.”

Eren gave a breathless sort of laugh while he reached down to help Levi stand. “Thanks for taking one for the team.” He hummed a little while he gave Levi a kiss. “I guess I owe you one, hmm?”

“Hell yeah.” Levi wiped his hands clean on the towel before he reached up to tuck aside a lock of hair falling on Eren’s face. “Later. I’ll make you pay up later.”

“Sounds good.” Eren smiled at him a little more… and then his eyes went wide. “Dammit, she’ll be here in a few minutes!” He glanced down at his crotch and grimaced.

“Go to the spare bathroom,” Levi ordered even as he pushed Eren out of the kitchen.

“Okay. I’m really happy that we grabbed some extra clothes for me.”

After Levi made sure there wasn’t any incriminating evidence left in the kitchen – good thing that the place smelled so strongly of the spaghetti sauce- he went to his bedroom so he could use the bathroom there to take a piss and wash off, as well as change into a new pair of underwear and jeans. By the time he was done, Eren was already back in the kitchen and had a pot of water on to boil, as well as was doing something with the loaf of bread they’d picked up. “Can you grab some wine?”

“Sure.” Levi picked a bottle of malbec and opened it up to breathe, and once Eren was finished with the bread, snagged his lover for another kiss; he knew Eren had his own apartment, but he had to do something to ensure that they spent more nights like this, cooking together and messing around. The one house Eren had liked was still available, and there wasn’t that much left to the school semester. By the time Levi closed on it, it wouldn’t interfere with Eren’s studies for them to move in together.

It was around then that the doorbell rang, so he ran his hand along Eren’s back when his lover started at the sound. “I’ll get it.”

“Okay.” Eren fussed with his collar a little more, which caused Levi to bite back on a smirk; as if Carla hadn’t known what would happen when she dropped off her son here last night.

Levi opened the front door and found Carla waiting on the other side, dressed in the same grey trench-coat as the day before but this time with a neutral smile on her face and a bottle of wine in her hands. “Hello, Levi.”

“Hello, Mrs. Jaeger.” He motioned for her to come inside.

“Oh please, call me Carla. I’ve a feeling we’ve moved on past formalities.” She glanced around the place and her smile warmed up to something beautiful. “Yes, indeed we have. Hello, Eren.” After setting the wine bottle down on an end table, she held out her arms.

Eren had left the kitchen and, after hovering around the one couch for a few seconds, smiled and went over to hug his mother. “Hi, Mom.” He laughed when it looked as if she hugged him tight. “I hope you’re in the mood for spaghetti.”

“Hmm, it smells like your grandmother’s recipe. Wonderful.” She pulled back from the hug and held his face in her hands while she seemed to look him over, and Levi could tell when she noticed the hickeys because of the way her brown eyes narrowed. Then she shook her head and smiled once more. “So, it’s rather obvious that the two of you have made up.”

“Mom,” Eren whined as his right hand lifted to cover the side of his neck, his face flushed as he bit into his bottom lip. Meanwhile, Levi went over to stand beside his ‘name’, his right arm curled around Eren’s waist.

“Yes, we have.” He paused to nod at Carla. “Thank you.”

She gave him a serious look for a moment and then nodded back. “Every parent wants their child to be happy, and my biggest fear was the belief that Eren’s name wasn’t one who would bring him happiness.” When Eren started next to Levi and Levi frowned at the comment, she shook her head and held up her right hand. “No, I now know that’s no longer the case, as does Eren, and it’s a great relief to me. I just want Eren to be happy.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Eren murmured.

“He will be, I’ll make sure of it,” Levi promised.

“Levi!” Eren twisted around to face him. “And what about you? You deserve to be happy, too!” Eren glared at Levi while he reached out to touch his name on Levi’s chest.

“I am, now,” Levi admitted as he caught at Eren’s hand. “Don’t go anywhere, Brat, and it’ll be fine.”

Eren flushed once more, and he twisted his hand about so his fingers could intertwine with Levi’s. “I… yes, Captain.” The words were faint, but Levi could hear them.

“Ah, yes, the fun drama of the newly paired. I’d nearly forgotten all about it, it’s been so long – and it’s a bit disturbing when it’s your own child. I need wine.” Carla sounded a bit plaintive just then, and her voice made Eren jump back with a guilty look on his face even as he kept hold of Levi’s hand. “Where’s the wine?”

“Uhm, in the kitchen.” Eren tugged Levi after him as he led the way. “Dinner should be ready soon – we’re just waiting on the pasta.”

“Good.” Carla took up a seat at the island, which left Levi to fetch the wine while Eren finished dinner; he pulled the bread out of the toaster oven and opened the box of pasta while he salted the hot water. “So, Levi, tell me a bit more about yourself. I gathered from Mikasa that you work for a private firm?”

Great, now the inquisition began. Levi poured all three of them a glass of wine and took one over to Carla; she removed her coat to reveal another expensive yet elegant dress, this one a deep indigo color. “Yeah, I work for Survey Inc., not sure if you’ve heard of it.”

“Hmm, actually yes, I believe my husband has referred to it a time or two, you’re involved in various drug research and the like. Rather impressive.” She raised her wine glass. “To the two of you, may you have a long and happy life together.”

“Eh?” Eren left fussing with the pots alone so he could grab his own wine glass then hurried over to clink it against his mother’s and Levi’s. “Ah, thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Levi paused for a sip then took Eren’s glass so his lover could finish with the pasta. “I handle security for the company, cyber and the more mundane.”

“Levi’s really good at… uhm, well, he’s good at computers,” Eren added.

“Well, we’ll know who to call when your father can’t figure out the new router or messes up another security update.” Carla rolled her eyes as if exasperated by something. “Seriously, the man can rattle off drug interactions at the drop of a hat and lives for the new advances in surgery, but if I allow him on my laptop or tablet for more than ten minutes, something’s busted.”

Eren grinned as if it was a familiar complaint. “You married him.”

“Whatever was I thinking?” Carla sighed in an exaggerated manner again while she rubbed along her left collarbone. “Half your genes, as I keep reminding you.”

“Nah, I took after you, remember?” Eren gave her a cheeky smile while he added the pasta to the boiling water.

“Rotten brat.” Carla sipped her wine while she winked at Levi. “And now he’s your rotten brat.”

“I knew what I was getting into.” Levi ignored Eren’s indignant squawk and shrugged. “At least he can cook, so thanks for that.”

“So not feeling the love,” Eren muttered as he came over to fetch his wineglass; Levi held it out of reach for a moment, then handed it over with a grin. Eren stuck his tongue out in return, but settled against Levi’s side while he enjoyed a few sips.

Carla watched over them with a slight smile and an intent gaze; Levi had the impression that she was still judging things, but so far she seemed pleased. “Yes, well, Eren’s right in that he takes after me and enjoys cooking. We never bothered with anything too fancy, but there’s something rewarding in making stuff with your own hands and knowing your loved ones are satisfied with it as a result.”

“Like a shitload of sauce that’ll feed us for weeks.”

Eren nudged Levi in the side. “You said you’ll be busy with the server upgrades coming up and I’ve got finals soon – this way we won’t have to worry too much about dinner. I can make some stuffed peppers and something else-“

“Salisbury steaks, maybe,” Carla offered. “Or meatloaf.”

“Right, Mom. Something that’ll freeze easy.” Eren frowned as he went over to check the pasta. “You eat too much take-out.”

Levi clicked his tongue and noticed that Carla was once more giving him that assessing look. “And we’re never going to have a dinner alone once Hange and Erwin find out that you’re cooking for me.” Damn leeches would find an excuse to be over here every night.

“That’s fine, since Mikasa and Armin will be stopping by, too.” Great, Levi hadn’t thought about Eren’s friends – he’d have to set some sort of visitation schedule if he ever wanted some alone time with his lover.

Carla laughed, the sound breathy and warm, and held up her halfway empty glass. “My, so domestic already.” She smiled at Eren’s incredulous expression and glanced around the apartment. “Sure this place is big enough to handle all of that?”

Eren blinked a couple of times as he turned off the heat beneath the water. “I… well, I hadn’t thought about all that. I didn’t mean to make it sound as if… I mean, it’s Levi’s apartment… I still have my own… we’ll figure something out.”

Bullshit, might as well get this out of the way, Levi figured. “The house should be ready by early summer.”

In the process of picking up the pot of pasta, Eren set it back down on the stove with a loud ‘thud’ and spun around with a shocked expression, while Carla merely sat there and twirled about her glass of wine. “What? What… what house? What are you talking about?”

“The one you liked,” Levi explained as he set aside his own wineglass and slowly approached Eren. “The one with the garden and the fireplace.”

“Oh, that sound nice, you need to send me a link to it,” Carla murmured.

Eren shot her a narrowed look before he resumed staring at Levi. “I told you that you didn’t have to do anything!”

“Yes, and I don’t… but I’m doing it.” When Eren began to sputter, Levi reached for him and pulled him close. “I told you last night, this means we’re *together*.” His arms hugged around Eren while he stared up at him, all the love and possessiveness he felt for his ‘name’ plain to see. “Fifteen years, Eren. I’m not wasting any more time. We can spend nights together here or at your place… or just save the hassle and move in somewhere with enough space for all our insane friends and a huge kitchen for you.”

“And room for your families to come visit,” Carla added.

Dammit, Levi was hoping to not have that come up, but he grit his teeth as he nodded. “Yes, room for our families to come visit.”

Eren’s brow was furrowed as he gazed back at Levi, and then he sighed as he wrapped his arms around Levi’s shoulders. “What are we going to do about my apartment? The lease isn’t up for a few months. And what about this place?”

A feeling of relief so strong washed through Levi that if it wasn’t for his hold on Eren just then, his knees would have buckled and he would have stumbled to the floor. “I own this place, it won’t take too much effort to sell it, especially when I know a few people at work interested in buying an apartment. And we’ll figure out something to do with yours.” He rocked up on his toes to give his lover a kiss, a lingering press of the lips that lasted several seconds.

There was a slight smile on Eren’s face as he pulled away, quickly replaced by a look of panic. “The pasta! Shit!”

Carla laughed at her son and gave Levi an approving smile while she held up her empty wineglass. “I must say, you move fast.” Then her eyes narrowed. “Just remember, he’s to graduate.”

“I know, and the place is close to the university.” Levi fetched the wine bottle so he could give her a refill. “That apartment of his is okay, but I want him someplace with a bit more security.”

“Hey! It isn’t all that bad, the neighbors are quieter than Armin’s and it’s close to work and school,” Eren argued. “Plus the rent’s good.”

Levi fetched the salad which Eren had put together from out of the fridge so he could set it on the table then gave Carla a pithy look. “He argued for the apartment, didn’t he?”

She smiled as she grabbed her wineglass and went over to the small table, which had already been set beforehand. “We figured he’s an adult now, he should be able to make decisions like that. It had decent ratings so….”

“The parking lot has no security cameras and anyone can enter the damn place, we’re moving to a gated community,” Levi insisted.

“Hey! It’s not like this place is completely secure,” Eren insisted as he dumped the pasta into a large bowl then ladled some sauce into it.

Levi clicked his tongue as he went back for the salad dressing Eren had made. “There’s security cameras here at least and a guard at the front door who keeps an eye on things – you wanted me to be more careful, that’s what I’m doing.”

Eren chewed on his bottom lip as he added some meatballs and sausage to the bowl. “Fine, but that still doesn’t answer what we’re going to do with my apartment.

“If I may.” Carla sat down at the table and waited for them to join her. “I’ve been speaking to Mikasa’s mother, and she’s a bit worried about Mikasa’s living arrangements.” She looked at Levi while he refilled his and Eren’s wineglasses. “She’s got a really good chance at making the Olympic team next year, but her new coach has a big family and it’s noisy in the house. Since Grisha and I have already budgeted for Eren’s apartment….” She smiled as she waited for them to figure out where she was going for that.

“Huh. Maybe I can talk to Erwin, see if he’s interested in sponsorship if she’s that good.”

“She is,” Eren insisted. “She’s worked hard the last few years, and I know she’s been hanging out at my place lately for some peace and quiet.”

Yeah, not entirely, Levi was certain. “Then we can move Eren as soon as his classes are done for the semester, and Mikasa can take over the apartment.” That settled that.

Eren made more of that sputtering noise. “At least let me help out a little with the expenses – I have my part time job, and once I get my Master’s I plan on working.”

Levi was about to tell him that he had enough money saved up that with the sale of his apartment, it shouldn’t be a concern… but he caught Carla staring at him again so he clicked his tongue. “Just as long as it doesn’t interfere with your grades.” He didn’t want Eren working himself sick, but he also didn’t want him to feel unimportant.

“Good.” Carla smiled as she helped herself to some of the pasta. “Let me know when the move date is so Grisha and I can help, and don’t forget that you promised to come home for a couple of weeks, Eren.” Levi frowned when he heard about that. “We can send you back with some more of your things, now that you’ll have a bit more space.”

“You just want that library you’ve always talked about,” Eren grumbled as he picked up his wineglass.

Carla laughed again as she reached over to pat her son’s arm. “I promise, we won’t convert your room just yet.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” But Eren was smiling when he set his wineglass down.

“And Levi, we need to meet your family soon, too. Should we arrange something here or maybe where they live?” Carla arched her left eyebrow as she gazed at him from across the table.

Fuck, Carla and his mother? Levi reached for his wineglass as he thought of the two women meeting – he had a feeling his life was going to become that much more complicated once it happened, not because they wouldn’t like each other, but because they probably *would*. As if sensing his trepidation, Eren reached under the table for his left hand and gave it a squeeze. Fuck, he could do this, just think about Eren. “Uhm, probably something here,” he offered.

“Mom… can you just… eat some spaghetti for a while,” Eren pleaded. “Moving and a house and… just eat some spaghetti.” He sounded about ready to cry.

“Says the guy with a bunch of hickeys on his neck, but okay, I’ll be good.” Carla smirked as Eren groaned and buried his face in his hands. “I’ll save the wedding talk for the next time.”

Levi gave his whimpering lover a reassuring hug when he got up to fetch another bottle of wine.

Oh yeah, Eren’s family was definitely insane.

*******

Eren leaned over to Levi and threaded his fingers through his lover’s straight, silky hair. “Hmm, thanks for the ride.”

“You’re welcome. If I see one tiny dick donut today, I will beat your ass, do you understand?” Levi reached up to caress his fingers along Eren’s cheek as he made the teasing threat.

“Oh, is that a promise?” Eren smiled at his lover and laughed as Levi shoved a hand in his face.

“I will beat your ass and not in a good way. Get to work, you little shit.” Still, Levi was smiling while Eren slid out of his lover’s expensive as shit car so he could go to work; he blinked when he found Ymir waiting for him on the sidewalk.

“Uhm, hello.”

“Oh-ho, someone got over his issues, I see.” She arched her right eyebrow as she stared at Levi’s departing car. “Has to be the money, because his personality is total shit. That or he has a huge dick.”

Eren groaned as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “Ymir… maybe I was wrong about him.”

“Huh, so it’s his money *and* his dick. Whatever, as long as you’re no longer lusting after Krista.”

“I was never lusting after Krista!” Eren winced at how loud his voice was and shook his head; one thing he’d already learned through his classes was that some people were beyond help, and Ymir was a prime example of that. “And it’s not his dick or his money.”

“Right, which is why you’ve all those nice bruises on your throat.” Ymir rolled her eyes as she held the door to the bakery open for him. “Such a bottom bitch you are.”

About to scream again, Eren forced himself to just shut up and start working – and talk to Levi about the damn hickeys. After all, he managed to not leave a bunch of bruises on Levi, couldn’t his ‘name’ return the favor? Well, he had sorta bitten into Levi’s left shoulder when he’d taken from behind the other day…. Not that Levi had cared at all, but at least that mark was easy to cover.

Focus on work, Eren told himself. He had a shift to get through and then classes, and was planning to go back to his apartment to gather up some more clothes before Levi picked him up on the way home from work. There was an almost queasy feeling in his stomach at how much his life had changed in a few days, but now that he’d acknowledged what he felt for Levi… he couldn’t imagine being alone in his apartment when he could be with his ‘name’. From what he’d read and heard from others such as his parents, Ymir and Krista, Connie and Sasha and the other named ‘pairs’ in his life, this was normal – it just wasn’t something he’d expected to happen to him. He’d always thought if he’d met someone to spend the rest of his life with, it would proceed at a much slower pace. But when you met the person you were destined to be with… yeah, there really wasn’t such a thing as a trial period and all that.

He’d gathered the necessary ingredients and was working on the croissants when Ymir leaned against the table. “So, seriously, you and that Levi guy. What changed?” She frowned as she held an egg in her hand.

Eren sighed as he picked up a scrap of dough and began tugging on it. “I don’t know, something got messed up in my head when I was young.” At Ymir’s displeased look, he sighed and tugged on the scrap until it snapped. “He died for me in the past, okay? And I guess it hurt so much that a part of me was afraid of being with him again. We had to work through that, if it makes any sense.”

“Huh.” Ymir tossed the egg into the air and caught it. “It might not seem like it, but Krista and I had a few things to work through too.” She held the egg cradled against her chest as she gave Eren a sympathetic look. “Maybe that’s why I’m so guarded with her, because things weren’t easy for us in the past. We’re finally together now and I’m not going to let any assholes fuck it up.”

He thought about that then nodded. “I think I get it. It’s funny, everyone talks about how this is our second chance at happiness, but no one mentions all the emotional garbage that comes along with it.” About how Ymir was so overprotective of Krista, how Eren was terrified of Levi dying on him and Levi hellbent on keeping Eren safe, or how Annie felt she didn’t deserve Armin.

“No, everyone just acts like it’s all perfect now.” Ymir frowned at the egg in her hands as she shook her head. “It’s not… but it’s still better than back *then*.” She glanced up at Eren and smiled. “So I’m glad you got your second chance.”

“Yeah, you’re just glad I’m with a guy – an older, possessive guy at that,” he teased.

She laughed as she sauntered back over to the table where she was preparing the donuts. “Well, it doesn’t hurt that you seem to like short, pissy dudes, I’ll admit that. Krista seems to have a soft spot for you, and you being taken and oh-so gay is a big relief. Keep it up, bottom bitch.”

“I’m not a bottom – gah!” Eren threw the scrap of dough at her, even though it fell far short. “Annie’s right, I need to make better life choices.” At least make friends who didn’t delight in getting deliberate rises out of him.

While Ymir chortled over her pathetic joke, Eren focused on the baking that needed done and setting aside a few special ‘treats’ for when Levi would stop by later; he was so busy that the time went by fast before Annie came in for the start of her shift.

“Hey, you look better today, and why is Ymir in such a good mood?”

Eren looked up from the donuts he was icing and grimaced. “She’s having fun tormenting me, apparently. But it’s okay, I’ll see Krista later and plan on telling her how much of an uncouth bitch her girlfriend is being.”

“Hey! I’m being no such thing!”

“’Bottom bitch’?”

“It’s a term of endearment,” Ymir tried to argue. “Plus, your ‘name’ looks as if he can eat you for breakfast. You really telling me that you’re tapping that?”

“I’ll be sure to mention to Krista that since she’s so much shorter and cuter than you, apparently she’s *your* bitch. I’m sure it’ll go down well.” Eren grinned when Ymir became noticeably paler and shook her head. “Yeah, thought so.” He continued to grin as he turned toward Annie, and found her staring at him with a crestfallen expression. “Annie?”

She latched on to his left arm and dragged him out front. “What’s wrong?” Why was she acting like this?

“Just… wait.” She didn’t say anything else until they were up front, and then pushed back the hood of her University of Trost sweatshirt. “Your ‘name’ – what was Ymir talking about? Did you make up with Levi?”

“Uhm… yeah.” Eren felt uncomfortable beneath his friend’s unwavering gaze. “This weekend… Mikasa called my mom and she came into town, and she… well, she sorta straightened the two of us out and got us talking to each other.” He gave a nervous laugh as he rubbed at his bruised neck. “We’re… we’re together now.”

For a moment it appeared as if Annie was ready to cry, her blue eyes shimmered with tears and her pretty face wavered with such a sad expression, and then her breath hitched and she shook her head. “I’m… I’m happy for you.” She actually sounded as if she was telling the truth. “I know you’ve been miserable the last few days and… I’m happy for you.” She sniffed as she rubbed the back of her right forearm along the bottom of her nose. “As long as Levi treats you right, you deserve this.”

“Annie….” Eren hesitated for a moment before he reached out to embrace her, gently at first when she was all stiff in his arms, then tighter when she relaxed. “Look, I know it’s your life and you have your reasons… but maybe… maybe think about you and Armin a little, okay? My mom… what she said about me and Levi made a lot of sense, about how I needed to let go of the negative stuff and that I’d regret not giving him a chance. Things aren’t completely perfect with us and we still need to work on stuff, but I’m happy.” He pulled away to smile at her. “I can honestly say now that I gave him a chance… it feels right. It feels like I belong with him, even with the bit of lingering fear. Enough that the only real pain is the thought of *not* being with him.”

Annie shook her head as she stared down at her hands, which tugged at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “But I messed up so much last time. I don’t… Armin probably doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

Eren smiled as he tucked back a strand of her blonde hair. “Trust me, that’s not true. I think if you gave him a chance, he’d be so happy.” Then he sighed as he stepped back. “But it’s up to you, and I won’t say anything else if you don’t want me to.”

She was quiet for a moment while she picked at the cuffs of her sweatshirt. “Are you really happy?”

“Yeah.” Eren gave a little laugh. “It’s crazy – a week or so ago I was miserable, and now Levi’s talking to realtors about a house for us so we can move in together once the semester’s done.” Sometimes it didn’t seem real. “I want to smack him for… oh, I don’t know, being in such a hurry but then again, I feel so much better when I’m with him. I don’t want to lose any time with him, not now.” Not after how things had ended back *then*.

Annie gazed at him for a few seconds before she nodded. “All right then, I’ll think about it.” She let out a slow breath as she turned back toward the kitchen. “Maybe it’s better than… well, maybe it’s better.”

Eren felt a bit of hope upon hearing that, hope that two people he cared about would have the happiness that he’d found. “If you need to talk to someone, I’m here.”

“Thanks.” Annie gave him a slight smile, though the expression slipped when they entered the kitchen and found Ymir glaring at them.

“I thought you were all paired off,” Ymir accused him. “She may be short and have an attitude problem, but she’s not a guy named ‘Levi’.”

“Ymir… when the fuck are you going to graduate?” Eren pinched the bridge of his nose as he headed back to his work table. Maybe the nice thing about owning a garden was that he could bury a body in it….

*******

Levi left his car and headed to the bakery, and held the door open for the elderly woman who always dressed up as if she was going to a formal event; he’d seen her several times now, and had to ask Eren about her. “Thank you,” she told him while she gave him a graceful bow of the head.

“Yeah, sure.” When she frowned at him in a manner resembling his mother when she wasn’t that impressed with him, Levi sighed and rubbed at his undercut. “You’re welcome.”

“Better,” she sniffed as she went on her way.

Great, always nice to start his day being put in his place – Erwin would love the woman. Shaking his head as he entered the bakery, Levi felt his good mood become restored when he spied his lover, and didn’t even care that the blonde girl, Annie, was standing right next to Eren while they chatted about something since Eren looked up at the sound of the bell chiming and smiled upon seeing Levi.

“I was wondering if maybe you decided to put that coworker of yours on a diet after all,” Eren called out as he leaned against one of the coolers.

Levi clicked his tongue as he went over to the brat and reached out to cup his hand along the back of Eren’s head to pull him forward a little more for a kiss. “Mmm, no, not about to start the week off with all that screeching,” he explained as he pulled away with some reluctance.” Eren tasted like sugar, as if he’d been sampling some of the goods.

“Well that’s nice for us, since you’re one of our best customers.” Eren’s smile widened as he slowly pulled away. “Don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Oh get a room,” Annie muttered as she turned away, toward the door leading to the kitchen. “And don’t forget to charge him for the five dozen the last time he was here.”

Levi felt some of his good mood fade at the girl’s disgusted tone and glanced at his lover, who shook his head. “It’s nothing personal,” Eren explained as he went over to the table along the wall to fetch the boxes for the pastries. “I’ll explain later.” His right hand skimmed below the neck of the pale grey t-shirt he wore beneath his white apron, which led Levi to believe that whatever had crawled up Annie’s ass had to do with her ‘name’ – she hadn’t seemed to mind him so much the last time he was here.

He was about to say something when the door chimed again and a young woman dressed in business casual entered the bakery. “Whatever. I should be done around five today, so I’ll text you when I’m on my way to pick you up.”

Eren nodded as he continued to box up Levi’s order. “Sounds good. That’ll give me time to do some homework and get a few things ready while I wait. Did you figure out what you want for dinner yet?”

“No, let me see what’s happening for lunch and I’ll get back to you – there might be something going on if those tech vendors are coming in today.” Levi had already pinged Mike about it and was ready to smack the bastard for his habit of turning off his phone over the weekend. “I should know soon after I get into work.”

“Hmm, the life of the important businessman,” Eren teased as he set the filled boxes on the counter near the register then began to bag them up.

“Just wait until you get your license or whatever and start practicing – you’ll find out why everyone needs therapy,” Levi warned.

“Which just means I’ll have lots of business.” Eren laughed as he rang up Levi’s order and held out his hand for some money; his fingers squeezed around Levi’s when Levi handed over his card.

“I think it’s a case of the blind leading the blind when it comes to you being a psychologist, but whatever,” Levi teased back, and laughed when Eren all but threw the pen at him so he could sign the receipt.

“Just for that, you’re getting sandwiches tonight. Cold sandwiches on stale bread.”

“Yeah, right.” He slid the signed receipt across the counter and leaned in for another quick kiss before he grabbed the bag of boxed pastries. “Later.” When he turned around he found the young woman smirking at the two of them, he gave her a cool look in return while Eren muttered something about arrogant bastards.

The drive to work was mostly uneventful, other than Levi getting stuck behind someone who took the speed limit as a suggestion to avoid. Still, the thought of putting in his time and then leaving to go pick up Eren at the end of the day helped to keep him from ranting… well, *too* much, so he parked his car in his designated spot, grabbed the pastries and his bag then went inside. It wasn’t that much of a surprise to find Hange and Erwin waiting for him in his office.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I checked my inbox or something?” he griped as he shooed Hange off of his desk so he could set the bags down on it.

“Nope, not when you sent us those texts telling us that you and Eren made up but to leave you alone over the weekend.” She bounced on the tip of her sneakered toes a few times and made a very, *very* annoying squealing sound. “It’s Monday so spill! What happened? What made him change his mind? Things are good? Of course they’re good, look at you! You don’t look like death warmed over anymore! You look- hey!” She glared as Erwin came over and shoved her into one of the spare chairs Levi was forced to keep in his office for ‘guests’.

“Give him a chance to speak,” Erwin ordered as he reached over for the bag of pastries, which he dumped on Hange’s lap. “You’re rambling.”

“I just wanna know,” Hange whined as she pawed at the top box of donuts. “I was getting all set to tranq Eren and dump him at Levi’s apartment if the kid didn’t come to his senses soon.”

The funny thing? Levi could see her doing just that; his friend was a lunatic and a pain in the ass and had the morals of a pit viper most of the time… but she was a good friend. “Yeah, keep your shitty chemicals away from him,” he warned as he reached into his desk for some wipes to disinfect it since her jean-clad ass had touched it. “As for what had happened… Eren’s friend Mikasa called his mother, and she came into town to basically set him straight.”

“Wait, the girl who has his name?” Erwin frowned as his right hand rose upward, paused around his chest and then continued on to comb through his blond hair. “She helped you out? As did Eren’s mother?”

“It surprised me too, but guess they both just wanted him to be happy.” Levi shrugged while he cleaned off his desk. “Eren’s mother talked to him and got him to come over, and….” Yeah, he wasn’t going there. “We’re working on things, but it’s good now.” Dammit, he was smiling.

Hange paused with an éclair halfway to her mouth and grinned. “Aw, you’re adorable when you’re not all grumpy. I’m happy for you.”

“As am I.” Erwin smiled as he reached over to clap Levi on the shoulder. “So should I start looking for a new head of security?”

Levi allowed his friend the gesture of affection for a second or two before he shrugged. “Nah, Eren said he’s fine with the job, I just need to cool it on being all over-protective on stuff.” He waved his right hand in the air and frowned since that wasn’t quite what Eren had said, but it was close enough for now. “Though I am going through with selling my place so we can move in to something a bit bigger.” He glanced over at Hange, who had chocolate smeared all around her mouth and clicked his tongue in disgust. “Were you still interested in moving closer to work? Or should I go talk to Gunther?”

“Eh?” Hange paused in reaching for another éclair and smiled. “You’re offering me first dibs? Aw, you must really have had some great sex the last few days! Sure, whatever.” She picked up the pastry and waved it around. “Moblit will be happy to know I’m not so far away now.”

He didn’t understand why Hange hadn’t moved already, especially since Erwin paid her more than enough money, but she could be odd – okay, more than a little odd – about things, and tended to get attached to places. Hell, she’d *liked* the shithole they’d lived in back in Karanese. “Yeah, well hopefully it won’t be a problem for you to get out of your lease in the next month or two.”

She waved his concern aside, so he figured either her landlord would be happy to see her gone or she had no problem breaking the lease. Meanwhile, Erwin had taken to studying Levi with an inscrutable expression on his face while he shoved his hands into the pockets of his navy blue blazer. “So, it really is serious between the two of you, isn’t it? I mean… moving in together? Buying a house? I know things tend to happen fast between ‘names’ but….” A slight smile formed on his lips as he shook his head. “I’m happy for you, I really am, but I guess even with everything that’s happened the last few weeks, it’s just sinking in.”

Levi let out a slow breath as he sat down in his leather chair. “I know what you mean – part of me didn’t want to come into work today because I’m afraid leaving Eren alone might mess things up. I’m worried he’ll change his mind again or something.” There was a fear of receiving a phone call or a text message telling him it was over, or of him going to pick up his lover and find Mikasa at the door again. Then he remembered all those containers of sauce in his freezer, and Eren’s angry scowl that morning when he’d said something about picking up fast food for dinner. “But it’s real, and this time I think we’ve finally got our shit together.” He stared at Erwin until his friend nodded.

“Again, I’m happy for you.”

Meanwhile, Hange continued to rummage through the boxes like an addict searching for her next hit. “Ha! I don’t think you need to worry.” She cackled as she scooted the chair closer to the desk and set one of the boxes on top of it, then dug into the right front pocket of her lab coat to grab her phone. “You really have to invite us over soon so we can properly meet your snookums.”

“You’ll scare him away,” Levi muttered as he craned his neck to see what was in the box, and had to grin when he noticed the croissants with all the funny icing faces on them; some were obviously grouchy faces with the scrunched eyes and clenched fists, some had their tongues stuck out and there was even one that was blowing a kiss. That one he picked up while he reached in a drawer for a paper towel, so he could have it with his morning tea.

“Huh, it should be pretty easy to tell when you piss him off, right? Nothing like a big ‘fuck you’ in red icing on your morning treat.” She smiled as she grabbed one of the ‘grouchy’ croissants after snapping a picture of them.

Levi gave her a flat look while he made a shooing motion with his right hand. “Seriously, go study why you haven’t gone into a sugar coma yet or something from all the sweets you’re eating and let me get some work done.”

“Superior genes, my short-tempered friend! Superior genes,” Hange crowed while she swiped up the boxes of donuts. “And plan on having us over for dinner this Saturday, right Erwin?”

“Yes, that night’s open for me.” When Levi groaned at the thought of how the moochers would find out about Eren’s cooking skills so soon, his friend laughed and gave him another pat on the shoulder. “I saw the email about that sponsorship you sent me, we can talk about it then.”

“Once a blackmailer, always a shitty blackmailer,” Levi muttered, which provoked another laugh from Erwin.

“I’ll bring the wine.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Levi waved him away, too, but with a chagrined smile since he never could quite pull one over Erwin even after all these years. Ah well, it kept their friendship interesting, he told himself as he fetched his mug and got up to make some tea to have with his croissant while he went through his email.

*******

Armin stared at Eren and shook his head. “Really? So they’re just going to give the apartment to her?”

His friend shrugged while he tucked his phone back into the front pocket of his jeans; Eren looked a lot better after a few days of sleep and steady meals, even if his jeans were a little loose and Armin could spot a distinctive bruise or two on his neck. “My mom’s text just said that she talked it over with Mikasa’s parents and they’re fine with it, so now it’s up to them telling Mikasa.” He shared a sheepish grin with Armin. “So….”

“Yeah, here’s hoping she’s not upset with it.” Armin didn’t *think* she would be, but Mikasa might be unhappy if she thought of it as charity or something like that; he’d always felt a bit guilty that her family wasn’t as financially well-off as his or Eren’s, not that the Ackerman’s were struggling by any means. They had a successful business, just not successful enough to pay for their home, the studio and all the related expenses as well as fully support Mikasa while she trained.

There was a stubborn jut to Eren’s jaw as he hiked up his messenger bag. “I’ll talk to her if she tries to turn it down; she wants me to be happy with Levi, and I want her to be happy in return. It’ll cost just as much to break the lease as for her to stay there, and there’s no point in the place being empty.”

Armin laughed a little as he nudged his left arm into his friend’s side. “I’ll tell her that if she doesn’t stay there, *I* will. It’ll be a nice break from my noisy neighbor.”

“Well, if you need a place to crash for the next few nights until Mikasa finds out and makes up her mind, let me know.” A slight flush tinted Eren’s cheeks as he rubbed at the back of his head. “I’m… ah… well….”

Even though he felt more than a little jealous at the moment, Armin smiled and gave his friend another nudge. “Thanks. And yeah, I sorta figured out that you’re sleeping at Levi’s now, considering your neck and all.”

“Dammit.” Eren tugged at the neck of his green jersey as he glared at nothing in particular. “Nearly punched Jean because of all the teasing he gave me yesterday.”

Yeah, Armin had heard about it from Marco. “So when do I get to meet the guy?”

“Uhm, we’re having some of his friends over this weekend, so I think it’s only fair that we do something with you guys next weekend.”

“Well, don’t forget that we still have to get together for your birthday,” Armin reminded him as they came up to the corner which would lead him off to his apartment complex. “See you tomorrow for coffee?”

Eren nodded as he turned to the left. “Yep, and Mikasa should be joining us as well. Maybe by then she’ll know about the apartment.”

“Great, that’ll be an exciting start to the day!” He shared a chuckle with Eren as they went their separate ways; as the laughter died off, Armin still found himself smiling despite the lingering sense of jealousy. Eren seemed happy with Levi and was moving on to build a life with his ‘name’, a type of life Armin would give just about anything to have for himself. Ah well, he had to count himself lucky in that he had his health, his family and his friends, as well as that he seemed to be surviving the semester with his grades intact. One day at a time….

He entered the apartment building and made his way up to the second floor, and smiled at one of his neighbors in passing – the one whom he suspected of smoking pot on the weekends but who was always quiet and polite so hey, no judgment from him. At this point Armin could handle having cult members doing ritual sacrifices on a nightly basis next door as long as they were quiet, polite and disposed of the bodies in a hygienic manner, he was so damn tired of the loud music and bad attitude from the one asshole.

After stopping at the alcove to check his mail – just some flyers and what looked to be a small package from his mother, probably that one book she’d been telling him about regarding the history of ancient maritime travel, he headed for his apartment.

At first the sight of someone sitting on the floor near his door didn’t register, as he thought maybe they’d gotten the apartments mixed up and they were waiting for someone else; he saw a small form huddled against the wall with the hood of a grey sweatshirt pulled over their head. They were still as he approached, probably listening to music or something with their headphones in. “Ah, are you waiting for Dereck?” Maybe the asshole neighbor was having a friend over or something.

The person was still for another second or two, and then their body shuddered as if they were cold. While Armin watched on in confusion, they stood up, and he noticed that they were wearing faded, fashionably ripped jeans and a University of Trost sweatshirt… that they were a girl. A short girl. A short girl with blonde hair, once she pushed back the hood of the sweatshirt. Blonde hair and pale blue eyes and a lovely yet stern face which had haunted his dreams for the past eight years….

“Annie,” he whispered while it felt as if his heart was trying to burst its way out of his chest. “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re here.” More than anything he wanted to step forward, to not stop until he could wrap his arms around her and never let go, but he was also terrified that if he moved, she’d vanish as if some sort of illusion.

She started upon hearing her name, her hands curling up into the long sleeves of the sweatshirt. “Yeah, it’s me.” She looked him up and down before she glanced aside. “I thought… hell, I don’t know what I thought.” Her cloth-covered fists came up to cover her face. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

Hearing that jolted Armin out of his stillness; he jammed his mail into his bag and rushed forward, only to stop right in front of her while his hands hovered a mere inch from her forearms. “No! No, it’s not! I… ah… crap, come in. *Please*, come in, okay?” He fetched the keys he’d just shoved into the bag along with the mail and motioned toward his front door. “It’s okay, I won’t… just come in,” he pleaded.

Annie stared up at him for a few seconds, and then a hint of a smile unfurled over her gloss-covered lips. “Okay.”

“Thank god,” Armin breathed out as he hurried toward the door, his hands shaking as he fumbled to unlock it. Fuck, when was the last time he’d cleaned up? Mikasa had been over the other day so it couldn’t be too bad in there…. “Ah, I have some soda and iced coffee and water,” he offered as he shoved open the door then motioned for Annie to go inside. “Do you want anything?”

She stepped into the apartment with apparent hesitancy, her gaze flickering about to take it all in; it wasn’t much, just a living room and a small kitchen with the bedroom and bathroom in the back, but the curtains to the balcony had been left open so it was illuminated by the day’s sunlight. “Coffee will be fine,” she said as she continued to glance about. “This is better than the dorms. You and Eren are lucky.”

“Yes and no – you can always go to the RA about the assholes next door blaring their music all night.” He grimaced before he dumped his bag in the desk’s chair stationed near the kitchen then headed to the fridge to get an iced coffee for both of them. “I wouldn’t have minded the dorms, but I think my parents were a bit too worried about me since I got picked on a lot when I was younger and none of my friends from home were coming to Trost at the time. Though now Eren’s here and so is Mikasa.” Oh hell, was he babbling? Did she care at all about things like that?

Still, she gave him a shy smile when he handed her one of the iced coffees and stood in the middle of his living room, not quite on guard but in no hurry to sit down. “Eren. Yeah, he said that he was glad that he had a friend here, since he was torn between the psychology programs here and at Mitras.”

“It’s a good school.” He hesitated for a moment while he opened his drink. “I imagine it’s why you came.”

Annie appeared to focus on her own drink for several seconds before she sighed. “I thought it would be big enough that if by some chance you were here….” She let out a shaky laugh as she once more glanced around the apartment. “Though really, you were always brilliant enough I’m sorta surprised you’re not in Mitras on some fancy scholarship. You deserve it, you know.” He thought he caught an odd note to her voice just then, and her hands seemed unsteady holding the bottle. “You deserve the best.”

“No, not this again.” He hurried to set his bottle down and then dared to reach for hers, his hands lingering on the warmth of her skin before he tugged away the cold glass so he could set it on the computer desk then carefully grasp her trembling hands. “I yelled at Eren for being stupid enough to think that Levi was better off without him, and I’ll….” He didn’t want to yell at Annie, didn’t want to scare her away when she was finally here, dammit, but he wanted to get through to her. “I deserve *you*,” he insisted with as much conviction as possible, his gaze intent upon her as he willed her to look at him. “I have your name, it’s there for a reason.”

She shook her head before she finally met his eyes, her own shimmering with unshed tears. “I messed up so much last time, I don’t see how-“

“No. No, no more of this.” Armin didn’t care if it was rude or crazy or what, he grabbed onto Annie’s arms and pulled her forward to kiss her, to do what he’d fought against for so long; it was little more than a press of the lips, a lingering sigh as he breathed out his longing and frustration, and he forced himself to let go when he felt her hands catch at his wrists. “I’m sorry, I really am,” he mumbled, his heart in his throat and pulse racing as he prayed he hadn’t screwed things up, but he couldn’t just stand there and listen to excuses anymore. “It’s the *past*, Annie. The only way you can really mess things up now is by not giving us a chance – just… just stop ignoring me and it’ll get better, I promise you.”

She let out a ragged little laugh as she continued to hold on to his wrists. “How can you be so sure? There’s no way of knowing that it won’t go all wrong again.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” He summoned a smile as he tugged her closer. “But at least this way… *we* screw up, right? It’ll be on both of us, and I’ll let you blame me as much as you want.”

She stared at him as if he was out of his mind, the expression on her beautiful face one of pure incredulity… and then she began to laugh, her blue eyes lightening up as she pressed against him. “Okay, maybe I can live with that.”

He smiled as he draped her arms over his shoulders, then slid his own around her waist. “We can even get it… oh, what’s it called? Notarized if you want. ‘Armin is to blame for everything’.”

“Hmm, maybe not everything, I liked it when you said we were in it together, but I’ll let you know when you are.” Annie smiled at him for a few more seconds and then the expression faltered. “I just… I just hope it won’t come to that.”

“It won’t.” He reached up to cup the right side of her face with his hand. “This is our second chance, we have it for a reason. Have faith that we’ll make it work.”

“You were always the one found the good in everything,” she murmured as she rested her head against his shoulder. “It’s what I like in you.”

“And I found some good in you,” he reminded her before he brushed his lips against her forehead. “I know we can make this work, you just have to have some faith – in both of us.”

Annie didn’t answer him, just stood there with her arms around him and allowed him to hold her back, so he assumed that was enough of a response for now. She was here, she was finally letting him in, and he’d keep at it until all of her reservations about them vanished. At least now… now he was filled with a strong hope that it would happen.

*******

“This should be the last of it,” Eren told his friends as he grabbed the box marked ‘kitchen’; since Mikasa was moving in, he basically was taking his personal items and the kitchen stuff she couldn’t be bothered to use, which meant that *this* was the easy part of the move.

“Well, it’s not like you have to worry too much about forgetting anything,” Armin pointed out as he held the front door open.

“Yes, and you better have stocked up the fridge or else I’m going to be upset,” Mikasa added as she followed with a suitcase filled with Eren’s clothes.

“Yeah, yeah, I made a pan of those brownies you love *and* a roast chicken as a moving in present. Sheesh, I get the feeling that you guys only hang out for me to get fed,” Eren complained.

“We’ve seen your fancy new kitchen, so we’re expecting some adequate payback for this weekend.” Annie gave him a pointed look as they left the building and headed toward the new car his parents had given him as an early graduation present since he was moving a little farther from campus. “Could be going to Jean and Marco’s party tonight.”

“Oh please, as if you’d really want to hang out with a drunken horse.”

“Free liquor is free liquor, so in exchange for our slave labor, we’re hitting your boyfriend’s wine cellar while you make us something really good.” Armin grinned as if to show that he was really pleased with himself, and reached over to hug Annie once the items were stowed away in the back of the hatchback. Eren groaned for a moment since he realized that his friends weren’t dropping the topic, and received a reassuring pat on the shoulder from Mikasa.

“You should have seen this coming, since you’ve got all that space now.”

“Yeah, but if Jean or Connie think that they can use it for their parties, I’m going to kill them. No, better yet, I’ll let Levi kill them.” His lover had been pretty good with his friends hanging out at the other apartment the past two months, but the house was too nice to be trashed.

Since the stuff was stashed away, they piled into the car so they could meet up with everyone else at the house; it wasn’t that far away, Eren could probably bike to class on nice days but he’d need the car for work or running errands, which was why his parents had decided on the early present. It took some getting used to, stopping at the gate to use his key card to get inside, and he felt self-conscious driving past some of the bigger, more ostentatious houses until they reached the cul-de-sac where the smaller, more cottage-like house Levi had bought was nestled among several maple trees.

Eren had been drawn to the grey and white stone façade of the house and the dark grey slate roof, along with the trees which loomed above and around the carefully tended garden on the property – there was even a small pond and firepit in the back where he could imagine spending nights outside with Levi and his friends. While the house wasn’t as big as some of the others in the community, it had three bedrooms and a loft area as well a lower level where they could allow people to crash if they needed the space. It seemed like an awful lot to Eren, but his parents had been going on and on about the ‘perfect’ starter home – his parents were going on about a lot of things lately that had been freaking him out, to be honest.

In fact, for the past week his mother and Levi’s had spent the time decorating the place, consulting paint swathes and ordering Eren over which walls to paint which color. The women had met a few weeks before and gotten along well, but had truly bonded over the house project, enough so that Eren and Levi had just given up and let them have their way. So what if they’d been thinking of a pale blue color for the living room instead of the cool green and cream their mothers had picked out instead? It looked great with the new furniture and more importantly, their mothers were happy. Crazy, but happy.

“Ah, looks like they’re already unloading the truck,” Mikasa pointed out as they pulled up to the new house.

“Oh great.” Eren winced when he noticed that Levi seemed to be arguing with his uncle in the middle of the driveway; while he thought Levi’s mother, a beautiful woman who like Levi didn’t look her age, was just as wonderful as his lover had described, Levi’s uncle… yeah, the guy scared him. ‘Uncle’ Kenny wore a perpetual glower unless his sister was chiding him about something, and then he managed a hangdog expression, and he had an even worse foul mouth than Levi. “Let’s see what’s going on.” Eren parked the car, and everyone grabbed a box or suitcase before heading over to the driveway.

“-said me and Smith can handle the heavy stuff, just worry about that precious tech of yours, Shrimp. Wouldn’t want your fucking toys to break or anything.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I can lift as much as you can, *old man*, and won’t be crying about a damn hernia later on!” Levi got in his uncle’s face – well, glared up at it while they argued, and Erwin, Hange and Moblit stared on as if fascinated; Eren scooted over between his mother and Ms. Ackerman.

“Uhm, they been doing this long?”

His mother nodded while Ms. Ackerman sighed in exasperation. “For the last five minutes, I’m about to smack them both.”

Meanwhile, Erwin held up his right hand. “How about the both of you handle the heavy stuff? I’m perfectly fine with boxes.”

“Shut it,” Levi snapped. “Two damn apartments and that fancy condo of yours, you *owe* me. Especially with that book collection of yours. Who the hell still owns two full sets of encyclopedias?”

“They’re gifts from my father,” Erwin huffed as he tugged on the hem of his dark blue and white t-shirt.

“Yeah, well who the fuck has an oak bed set, huh?” Uncle Kenny jabbed at Levi’s t-shirt clad chest. “Damn thing weighs a ton – I know those dreams you had of the Princess over there always got you all hot and bothered, but I didn’t know you were into such kinky shit. What the fuck you do on it, gymnastics or something?”

On the other side of Eren’s mother, Eren’s father made a strangled sound while Armin took to laughing. “Oh dear, I don’t… no, don’t want to know,” Eren’s father mumbled while he removed his glasses to scrub at his face.

Eren knew better than to even try with Mikasa, so he looked past Ms. Ackerman at his best hope. “Kill me now,” he pleaded to Annie. Traitor that she was, she merely smirked while she shook her head and took out her phone to start filming the scene.

Erwin lunged to grab onto Levi’s left arm while Eren’s lover swung at his uncle. “The fuck? Maybe it’s been so long for you that your tiny dick’s shriveled up, but the fuck? Mom is *right* *there*, you asshole!”

“Notice he didn’t deny the gymnastics thing,” Hange pointed out with evident glee while Moblit’s face was a bright shade of red. “Go, you two!” She winked at Eren while he wondered if he could just slink back into his car and… oh… drive like a thousand miles away.

“You know what? I’m going to go see how deep that pond is in the back.” Yeah, drowning seemed a good idea all of a sudden.

“No you don’t.” His mom latched on to his shoulders and held him in place.

“Yes, I think that is quite enough,” Ms. Ackerman insisted as she stepped forward, a murderous gleam to her grey eyes which Eren recognized in an instant. “Levi, continue unloading the truck and stop causing such a scene – you’re not making the best impression with your new neighbors.” Levi instantly stepped back from his uncle, his expression now more sullen than angry and headed to the truck with Erwin in tow. “And as for you, Kenneth… really? You sound like one of those immature teenagers at the gym, not an adult.”

Her brother ducked his head and came off as a chastened child more than a fifty-something year old grizzled-looking man. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry,” he muttered as he ran his large, gnarled right hand over his thick, slicked-back black hair.

“Hmph, better. Now help Levi and stop trying to make everything a competition – we have dinner reservations in a few hours and everything needs unloaded before then so we can get ready on time.” She continued to glare at her brother for a few more seconds before she tapped him on the left shoulder then shoved him toward the truck. “Come on.” For such a delicate-looking woman, she could be scary as hell at times.

“I’m still trying to figure out if him and your Uncle Zeke are going to hit it off or hate each other on sight,” Eren’s father remarked as he came up beside him.

“Yes, I talked to Kuchel about your brother and she can’t decide either.” Eren’s mom appeared puzzled for a few seconds then shook her head.  “Probably best to have a lot of beer on hand when they do meet.”

“Very good idea, sweetheart.” Eren’s dad smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “Now, as Kuchel said, let’s get this done. It shouldn’t take us that long.”

“No,” Eren agreed as he followed them to the truck; the new furniture had already arrived and they’d moved what they could from his and Levi’s apartment in the last couple of days, as the rooms were painted. This was just the last of the big furniture, boxes and clothes, and between their families and friends, it wouldn’t take long to unload the truck.

Levi and Erwin did handle the dresser, while Uncle Kenny and Moblit got stuck with the bed; Eren was bringing up two suitcases full of clothes when he ran into his lover heading back down and smiled when Levi stopped him to grab one of the cases and snatch a kiss. “Your uncle is insane,” Eren murmured as they pulled apart, his fingers pressed against his lover’s soft undercut.

“I don’t want to hear it, not when your mother showed up with *three* different types of poisonous flowers which she then planted in our damn garden,” Levi growled. “Smiling at me the entire time, I might add.”

Okay, maybe Levi had a point, Eren conceded while he laughed. “Yeah, but are you going to do anything to make me use them, hmm?”

Levi let go of the suitcase so he could pull Eren close to him. “Not a damn thing, but I’m also not going to eat anything your mother makes, ever.”

Eren laughed some more. “Okay, deal.” He grinned as Levi pulled him in for another close, in the hallway of their new home, the home where they would live together in this new life of theirs.

“Oi! Shrimp! Wait until we fucking leave to do that kinky shit to your Princess, all right? Now get your ass down here and tell me where the fuck you want this shitty desk!” Uncle Kenny glared at them from a few steps down the staircase before he clicked his tongue in apparent disgust then turned around to head back to the first floor.

Eren swore he could hear Levi’s teeth grinding together when his lover pulled away. “Brat, have your mother whip up something ‘special’ for the old man.” Levi’s eyes narrowed in that particular way which made Eren’s spine straighten up and adrenalin race through his veins.

“Yes, sir, Captain. Just didn’t think we’d start hiding bodies in the garden so soon.”

Levi swatted him on the ass before heading down the stairs. “Screw the romantic shit, true love is being each other’s alibis.”

“Hmm, those lines are getting a little better. Not much, but a little.”

“Doesn’t matter, I still got you.” Levi gave him a smug look before he headed downstairs, yelling at his uncle for being a lazy old fart the entire time.

*******

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, a happy ever after (more or less), and a peak at Levi and Eren's life together - or at least how it starts. Armin and Annie taking steps toward their HEA as well.
> 
> And a note - Kenny's nickname for Eren, 'Princess'. Well, among Levi's earliest dreams of Eren were the times when he had to rescue him (chasing after him in the forest, knowing he had to fight people to get Eren back, things like that), and as a young teenager, he would share what he did know about his 'name' with Kuchel and Kenny. So Kenny being Kenny, he would tease Levi about having to rescue his 'princess' again and whatnot, and it just... built on from there. So yes, to Kenny, Eren is always going to be 'Princess'. He's enough of a dick to see Eren be all 'wtf, why is this man calling me this' to get a kick out of it, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, there's a reason for everything, for Eren's dreams, why he's dreaming what he is, why he's reacting to Levi like that et all. And it's not to torture the two of them (honest!). We'll be back with more of Eren's PoV next chapter.


End file.
